alpha stage. . Anonymous ) : 40 is Really like girl. So. I go and talk to girl, is After a few minutes, tell her I like her and ask fat her number, er She gives alpha stage Anonymous ) : 40 is Really like girl So I go and talk to After a few minutes tell her ask fat number er She gives
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alpha stage

Anonymous ) : 40
is Really like girl.
So. I go and talk to girl,
is After a few minutes, tell her I like her and ask fat her number,
er She gives me digits.
is **** yes! ls this the ALPHA STAGE????
is Call her a day later.
in She asks, shocked, "Haw the **** did you get this number?'
Youger ins the
is Says to herself. "Oh, ****, I must have given you my real we by mistaked"
ltr I laugh-
is She doesnt,
I laugh in denial.
is She doesn' t.
is I force a laugh-
The dialating laughs at me, not with me.
is I keep laughing through the tears.
...
+3259
Views: 79110 Submitted: 10/21/2012
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[ 281 comments ]
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111 comments displayed.
#19 - gorgonzolarolla
Reply +176
(10/21/2012) [-]
#50 to #19 - bloodmachine
Reply -10
(10/21/2012) [-]
you gross ******* pervert
#208 to #19 - lambocj
Reply -1
(10/22/2012) [-]
#48 to #19 - bloodmachine
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#292 to #19 - xtrem
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
oh the lolis
too bad she's 3dpd
#79 to #19 - archonlb
Reply +1
(10/21/2012) [-]
#180 to #19 - friendlysniff
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
#200 to #19 - freddabucket
Reply +8
(10/22/2012) [-]
#60 to #19 - lucianakira
Reply +11
(10/21/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#69 to #19 - Benmc
Reply +14
(10/21/2012) [-]
*sigh* damnit... *unzips pants*
#138 to #69 - icytime
Reply +11
(10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#42 to #19 - uthannes
Reply +94
(10/21/2012) [-]
seriously though thats ****** up
#24 to #19 - CptSoapMacTavish
Reply +158
(10/21/2012) [-]
#84 - Xedan
Reply +140
(10/22/2012) [-]
>be me   
>beta as ****   
>omega even   
>cute sexy girl hired at my place of employment   
>like her, so do all the alpha males   
>she gives me her number without me asking   
>dafuq   
>she likes me   
>dafuq   
>watch as much more alpha and attractive guy that has known her longer is helplessly friend-zoned by her, because of me   
   
I feel as though the universe has made a clerical error. Or I'm about to find out I have cancer.
>be me
>beta as ****
>omega even
>cute sexy girl hired at my place of employment
>like her, so do all the alpha males
>she gives me her number without me asking
>dafuq
>she likes me
>dafuq
>watch as much more alpha and attractive guy that has known her longer is helplessly friend-zoned by her, because of me

I feel as though the universe has made a clerical error. Or I'm about to find out I have cancer.
#220 to #84 - EdwardNigma
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
Thats a nice story but...is your gif there or did my sister throw ******* acid in my coffee?
#173 to #84 - thepersonalex
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
I was just waiting for the gif to restart.
#87 to #84 - laserkirby
Reply +6
(10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#109 to #84 - prozmbieeater
Reply +7
(10/22/2012) [-]
Omega reporting in. For some reason, I seem more attractive to girls that would hang out with the alphas.
#148 to #84 - arnolducus
Reply +8
(10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#90 to #84 - saxophan
Reply +21
(10/22/2012) [-]
You know, omega particles... that **** penetrates EVERYTHING.
#56 - kidsquicker
Reply +107
(10/21/2012) [-]
Still not as beta as this guy.
#160 to #56 - mrstalin
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
I feel bad for people like this. Like, sure that guy spilled more spaghetti than OP sucks dicks, but he had no idea what he was doing.
#93 to #56 - laserkirby
Reply +4
(10/22/2012) [-]
Lost it at the "Spaghetti Marianas"
Lost it at the "Spaghetti Marianas"
#210 to #56 - earthbound
Reply +5
(10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#111 to #56 - silverlance
Reply +29
(10/22/2012) [-]
You could rid Africa of famine forever with all that pasta
#76 to #56 - jdpwns
Reply +2
(10/21/2012) [-]
god damn my stomach hurts after reading that
#139 to #56 - eroticsoup **User deleted account**
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#261 to #56 - sacredmagic ONLINE
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
"straight up bucatini" Oh LAWD my sides.
#98 to #56 - chaoticlaw
Reply +8
(10/22/2012) [-]
Jesus, might as well be in an Italian Restaurant.
#91 to #56 - baloonwalrus
Reply +9
(10/22/2012) [-]
mfw reading this
#103 to #91 - buckoman
Reply +4
(10/22/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Here's another Jack Black.
#92 to #56 - frozo
Reply +10
(10/22/2012) [-]
hfw straight up bucatini
hfw straight up bucatini
#95 to #56 - aerosol
Reply +10
(10/22/2012) [-]
That's just....   
...goddamn
That's just....
...goddamn
#75 to #56 - retributionthepimp
Reply +12
(10/21/2012) [-]
>upgrade pasta level
lost my ****
#86 to #75 - Kirbyman
Reply +5
(10/22/2012) [-]
I'm feeling like he's a rigatoni now.
#145 to #56 - zzzbrabbitzzz
Reply +13
(10/22/2012) [-]
hfw
#78 to #56 - boxdweller
Reply +17
(10/21/2012) [-]
MFW reading that.
#66 to #56 - sailorsmooth
Reply +3
(10/21/2012) [-]
holy ****, I laughed hard
#270 to #56 - purdles
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
**** that was so horrible. Oh god I can't even
**** that was so horrible. Oh god I can't even
#104 to #56 - salsawin
Reply +7
(10/22/2012) [-]
#195 to #56 - bbgunelement
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
Holy ****, that guy deserves it lol, but whats spaghetti mean?
#268 to #195 - iamnotacleverman
Reply +6
(10/22/2012) [-]
Spaghetti means becoming super awkward in social situations, and in this case if he was trying to upgrade his pasta level, he ******* grinded that ****.

pic related
#264 to #195 - jasonthelurker
Reply +5
(10/22/2012) [-]
Google "spaghetti stories." They are basically awkward as **** stories where all romantic attempts are thwarted by awkwardness and spaghetti that falls out of pockets.
#67 to #56 - sailorsmooth
Reply +7
(10/21/2012) [-]
#108 to #56 - knowstoomuch
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
I don't think he had a chance from the beginning. The girl was ******* with him the whole time. There is o reason to cry over his failure, but there is reason to cry over his gullibility.

Trust me just look at my name.
#64 to #56 - ubercripple
Reply +6
(10/21/2012) [-]
******* painful, oh god.

Simple possible fix though, tell her that his brother or something impersonated him, and the brother told him about it later. Might not be believed, but it could work if she's stupid or trusting.
#155 to #56 - anon
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
That hurt just reading that.

He dun goof'd!
#234 to #56 - sammyjankiis
Reply +5
(10/22/2012) [-]
I felt awkward just reading this.
#73 to #56 - penistar
Reply +38
(10/21/2012) [-]
That was so bad, I had to cry for the guy.
That was so bad, I had to cry for the guy.
#123 - harryblazer
Reply +95
(10/22/2012) [-]
>be beta as ******* ****
>job sucks, place smells like a ******* chimney chimney 24/7
>go outside and see this girl ive been crushing on for months standing near the fence of where I work
>Alpha right the **** up, walk over, ask her for her number
>she startled at first, but agrees
>rolls up her sleeve and gives it to me
>next day she is put in the oven
>such life in Aushwits
shame though, she did seem really gassed

#169 to #123 - turtleflare
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
******* loled
#187 to #123 - sexypotato
Reply +6
(10/22/2012) [-]
You win the internet
You win the internet
#300 to #187 - harryblazer
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
thanks, i have always wanted to be a author
#301 to #300 - harryblazer
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
or a nazi, which ever pays more
#29 - divinity **User deleted account**
+74
has deleted their comment [-]
#256 to #29 - iliketires
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
Don't bother. Relationships are just a fancy way of people getting you to spend all your money.

Don't get married, dont't have kids and you'll be rich as ****.
#257 to #256 - divinity **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#41 to #29 - uthannes
Reply +9
(10/21/2012) [-]
reminded me of this
#99 to #29 - davegrowl
Reply +19
(10/22/2012) [-]
>Be me
>In a serious relationship with my Pokemon Sapphire
>MFW
#112 - cerealisticbeing **User deleted account**
+47
has deleted their comment [-]
#119 to #112 - fallingidols
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
WOAH YOU ROLLED MY PIC WTF
#128 to #119 - organicglory
Reply +46
(10/22/2012) [-]
dont get a hard dick
#185 to #128 - fallingidols
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
what are the odds
#188 to #185 - organicglory
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
not that small
#183 to #128 - vivaceviper **User deleted account**
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#154 to #112 - anonsoftomarroww **User deleted account**
+10
has deleted their comment [-]
#161 to #154 - mrfartypants
Reply +6
(10/22/2012) [-]
here you go
here you go
#194 to #161 - cossackwhoop
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
GoldSrc?
#116 to #112 - jorgek
Reply +24
(10/22/2012) [-]
thats a load of baloney
#117 to #116 - applejackownage **User deleted account**
+55
has deleted their comment [-]
#147 to #117 - RazzberryRipper
Reply +22
(10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#61 - grimmwaters ONLINE
Reply +49
(10/21/2012) [-]
#190 - mahnamesjakers
Reply +35
(10/22/2012) [-]
One of my favorite greentexts.
#205 to #190 - muffinmadman
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
Trying not to laugh make me laugh harder XD
#293 to #190 - konyewest
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
10/10 would read again
#38 - EvilSquiggly
Reply +35
(10/21/2012) [-]
I asked a girl for her number today; She hasn't responded yet :(
#44 to #38 - ryderjamesbudde **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#46 to #44 - EvilSquiggly
Reply +16
(10/21/2012) [-]
I've been single for around two years now; but today I just felt as if I should start trying.

I drew this just for you C:
#133 to #46 - anon
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
Don't be scared of rejections man, its going to happen. But that doesn't mean you should stop trying with other girls. You can do it bro :)
#137 to #133 - EvilSquiggly
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
I love you anon <3
I love you anon <3
#49 to #46 - ryderjamesbudde **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#74 to #49 - infinitesinz
Reply 0
(10/21/2012) [-]
0?
#130 to #74 - LegititmateKyle
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
Are you kidding? They get so many girls because they try repeatedly until they get one. It's like banging your head against a wall until it breaks.
#146 to #130 - usernameluisdjlols
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
so if your head breaks first, is that like killing yourself?
#189 to #146 - LegititmateKyle
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
But in this situation nothing breaks. If you ask out women constantly, at least one is going to say yes.
#191 to #189 - usernameluisdjlols
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
or they could discuss it within each other, realize you're asking everyone out, then come to the conclusion that you're just asking them out just to ask them out

and eventually you'll get them saying "how many girls have you told that line to?"
#193 to #191 - LegititmateKyle
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
It's not a proper strategy, nor something I practice myself. It just provides a flawed, yet working, solution for people to use if they can't get to know someone while staying out of the friend zone.
#122 to #74 - jorgek
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#121 to #44 - jorgek
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
#235 - itsjustchad
Reply +10
(10/22/2012) [-]
Dubs decides what I randomly text my girlfriend.
#237 to #235 - nopresident
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#276 to #235 - brum
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
**brum rolls 31** i'm telling people to roll a number and if they get the same number twice in a row they get to tell me what to say to you.
this is one of the messages that they made.
this isn't even my message telling you at the end
aren't i such a great fiance?
#238 to #235 - cragga
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
**cragga rolls 75** dickbutt

#244 to #235 - jacobmurphy
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
**jacobmurphy rolls 03** We must **** NOW!
#250 to #235 - jgk **User deleted account**
+1
has deleted their comment [-]
#242 to #235 - brolafofbromacia
Reply +2
(10/22/2012) [-]
**brolafofbromacia rolls 37** Will you marry me?
#239 to #235 - cragga
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
**cragga rolls 723** dickbutt
#241 to #235 - heroicvenom
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
**heroicvenom rolls 06** hey honey, i want have sex with an strap-on dildo.
#243 to #235 - herpderpberp
Reply +34
(10/22/2012) [-]
**herpderpberp rolls 33** i must break up with you to be with my gay lover, mick. we've been seeing each other for a few months and even HE agrees to anal so yayy ttyl dumb bitch.
#246 to #243 - itsjustchad
Reply +5
(10/22/2012) [-]
Oh lord. Here we go.
#248 to #246 - andrewjo **User deleted account**
+3
has deleted their comment [-]
#254 to #248 - itsjustchad
Reply +4
(10/22/2012) [-]
Dear God. She hasn't replied yet. She's taking it all in.
#255 to #254 - andrewjo **User deleted account**
+5
has deleted their comment [-]
#258 to #255 - itsjustchad
Reply +23
(10/22/2012) [-]
Tomorrow is our 1 year. I think I annoyed her. :l
#262 to #258 - evantheboss
Reply +7
(10/22/2012) [-]
You are a ******* boss
You are a ******* boss
#291 to #258 - rattman
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
She wont except your love for Mick.
#267 to #258 - joshlol
Reply -6
(10/22/2012) [-]
this looks fake as ****, wrong font, lack of ios6, posted 16 minutes ago and time reads 10:01
#271 to #267 - itsjustchad
Reply 0
(10/22/2012) [-]
Alright mate. I uploaded it a couple minutes afterwards, but alright mate.
#253 to #246 - Scottizdaman
Reply +1
(10/22/2012) [-]
HAHAHA
#245 to #243 - jacobmurphy
Reply +3
(10/22/2012) [-]
DELIVER!