alpha stage. . Anonymous ) : 40 is Really like girl. So. I go and talk to girl, is After a few minutes, tell her I like her and ask fat her number, er She gives
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alpha stage

Anonymous ) : 40
is Really like girl.
So. I go and talk to girl,
is After a few minutes, tell her I like her and ask fat her number,
er She gives me digits.
is **** yes! ls this the ALPHA STAGE????
is Call her a day later.
in She asks, shocked, "Haw the **** did you get this number?'
Youger ins the
is Says to herself. "Oh, **** , I must have given you my real we by mistaked"
ltr I laugh-
is She doesnt,
I laugh in denial.
is She doesn' t.
is I force a laugh-
The dialating laughs at me, not with me.
is I keep laughing through the tears.
...
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Views: 78954
Favorited: 203
Submitted: 10/21/2012
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Comments(281):

[ 281 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#84 - Xedan (10/22/2012) [-]
>be me   
>beta as 			****		   
>omega even   
>cute sexy girl hired at my place of employment   
>like her, so do all the alpha males   
>she gives me her number without me asking   
>dafuq   
>she likes me   
>dafuq   
>watch as much more alpha and attractive guy that has known her longer is helplessly friend-zoned by her, because of me   
   
I feel as though the universe has made a clerical error. Or I'm about to find out I have cancer.
>be me
>beta as ****
>omega even
>cute sexy girl hired at my place of employment
>like her, so do all the alpha males
>she gives me her number without me asking
>dafuq
>she likes me
>dafuq
>watch as much more alpha and attractive guy that has known her longer is helplessly friend-zoned by her, because of me

I feel as though the universe has made a clerical error. Or I'm about to find out I have cancer.
User avatar #220 to #84 - EdwardNigma (10/22/2012) [-]
Thats a nice story but...is your gif there or did my sister throw ******* acid in my coffee?
User avatar #173 to #84 - thepersonalex (10/22/2012) [-]
I was just waiting for the gif to restart.
User avatar #109 to #84 - prozmbieeater (10/22/2012) [-]
Omega reporting in. For some reason, I seem more attractive to girls that would hang out with the alphas.
User avatar #90 to #84 - saxophan (10/22/2012) [-]
You know, omega particles... that **** penetrates EVERYTHING.
#56 - kidsquicker (10/21/2012) [-]
Still not as beta as this guy.
User avatar #160 to #56 - mrstalin (10/22/2012) [-]
I feel bad for people like this. Like, sure that guy spilled more spaghetti than OP sucks dicks, but he had no idea what he was doing.
#93 to #56 - laserkirby (10/22/2012) [-]
Lost it at the "Spaghetti Marianas"
Lost it at the "Spaghetti Marianas"
#111 to #56 - silverlance (10/22/2012) [-]
You could rid Africa of famine forever with all that pasta
User avatar #76 to #56 - jdpwns (10/21/2012) [-]
god damn my stomach hurts after reading that
+2
#139 to #56 - eroticsoup **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #261 to #56 - sacredmagic (10/22/2012) [-]
"straight up bucatini" Oh LAWD my sides.
#98 to #56 - chaoticlaw (10/22/2012) [-]
Jesus, might as well be in an Italian Restaurant.
#91 to #56 - baloonwalrus (10/22/2012) [-]
mfw reading this
#103 to #91 - buckoman (10/22/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Here's another Jack Black.
#92 to #56 - frozo (10/22/2012) [-]
hfw straight up bucatini
hfw straight up bucatini
#95 to #56 - aerosol (10/22/2012) [-]
That's just....   
...goddamn
That's just....
...goddamn
User avatar #75 to #56 - retributionthepimp (10/21/2012) [-]
>upgrade pasta level
lost my ****
#86 to #75 - Kirbyman (10/22/2012) [-]
I'm feeling like he's a rigatoni now.
#78 to #56 - boxdweller (10/21/2012) [-]
MFW reading that.
User avatar #66 to #56 - sailorsmooth (10/21/2012) [-]
holy **** , I laughed hard
#270 to #56 - purdles (10/22/2012) [-]
****		 that was so horrible. Oh god I can't even
**** that was so horrible. Oh god I can't even
#195 to #56 - bbgunelement (10/22/2012) [-]
Holy **** , that guy deserves it lol, but whats spaghetti mean?
#268 to #195 - iamnotacleverman (10/22/2012) [-]
Spaghetti means becoming super awkward in social situations, and in this case if he was trying to upgrade his pasta level, he ******* grinded that **** .

pic related
#264 to #195 - jasonthelurker (10/22/2012) [-]
Google "spaghetti stories." They are basically awkward as **** stories where all romantic attempts are thwarted by awkwardness and spaghetti that falls out of pockets.
#108 to #56 - knowstoomuch (10/22/2012) [-]
I don't think he had a chance from the beginning. The girl was ******* with him the whole time. There is o reason to cry over his failure, but there is reason to cry over his gullibility.

Trust me just look at my name.
User avatar #64 to #56 - ubercripple (10/21/2012) [-]
******* painful, oh god.

Simple possible fix though, tell her that his brother or something impersonated him, and the brother told him about it later. Might not be believed, but it could work if she's stupid or trusting.
#155 to #56 - John Cena (10/22/2012) [-]
That hurt just reading that.

He dun goof'd!
User avatar #234 to #56 - sammyjankiis (10/22/2012) [-]
I felt awkward just reading this.
#73 to #56 - penistar (10/21/2012) [-]
That was so bad, I had to cry for the guy.
That was so bad, I had to cry for the guy.
#61 - grimmwaters ONLINE (10/21/2012) [-]
#38 - EvilSquiggly ONLINE (10/21/2012) [-]
I asked a girl for her number today; She hasn't responded yet :(
0
#44 to #38 - ryderjamesbudde **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#46 to #44 - EvilSquiggly ONLINE (10/21/2012) [-]
I've been single for around two years now; but today I just felt as if I should start trying.

I drew this just for you C:
0
#49 to #46 - ryderjamesbudde **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #130 to #74 - LegititmateKyle (10/22/2012) [-]
Are you kidding? They get so many girls because they try repeatedly until they get one. It's like banging your head against a wall until it breaks.
User avatar #146 to #130 - usernameluisdjlols ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
so if your head breaks first, is that like killing yourself?
User avatar #189 to #146 - LegititmateKyle (10/22/2012) [-]
But in this situation nothing breaks. If you ask out women constantly, at least one is going to say yes.
User avatar #191 to #189 - usernameluisdjlols ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
or they could discuss it within each other, realize you're asking everyone out, then come to the conclusion that you're just asking them out just to ask them out

and eventually you'll get them saying "how many girls have you told that line to?"
User avatar #193 to #191 - LegititmateKyle (10/22/2012) [-]
It's not a proper strategy, nor something I practice myself. It just provides a flawed, yet working, solution for people to use if they can't get to know someone while staying out of the friend zone.
#122 to #74 - jorgek (10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#133 to #46 - John Cena (10/22/2012) [-]
Don't be scared of rejections man, its going to happen. But that doesn't mean you should stop trying with other girls. You can do it bro :)
#137 to #133 - EvilSquiggly ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
I love you anon <3
I love you anon <3
+74
#29 - divinity **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #256 to #29 - iliketires (10/22/2012) [-]
Don't bother. Relationships are just a fancy way of people getting you to spend all your money.

Don't get married, dont't have kids and you'll be rich as **** .
0
#257 to #256 - divinity **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#41 to #29 - uthannes (10/21/2012) [-]
reminded me of this
#99 to #29 - davegrowl (10/22/2012) [-]
>Be me
>In a serious relationship with my Pokemon Sapphire
>MFW
#240 - onelittleindian (10/22/2012) [-]
>See girl I like
>Cum instantly

tl;dr I premature ejaculate
#260 to #240 - LSone (10/22/2012) [-]
Tiger knows how you feel...
#107 - djequalizee (10/22/2012) [-]
>Be me
>At home comming game
>Girl i like comes up to me
>Says she hasn't seen me for a while, and asks me how i've been
>Whatdoido.jpg
>"I've been good, you?"
>"Good"
>"That's good"
>"Yeah
>"Yup"
>Silence for around 10 seconds
>She leaves
>What the **** brain

#159 to #107 - crispytg ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
ffuuuuuccckkk. that's my freshman year in a nutshell...
If I hadn't been such a nerd in middle school I probably wouldn't have been soo overcome with crippling fear when socializing in the real world after high school

inb5 that'snicedear.jpeg
User avatar #129 to #107 - organicglory (10/22/2012) [-]
how hard is it to spell "homecoming"
User avatar #131 to #129 - djequalizee (10/22/2012) [-]
Oops.
-6
#132 to #131 - organicglory has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #134 to #132 - djequalizee (10/22/2012) [-]
I dun goof'd.
-4
#135 to #134 - organicglory has deleted their comment [-]
#149 to #135 - tiaatortilla (10/22/2012) [-]
I'll leave this here for you, use as you please.
I'll leave this here for you, use as you please.
User avatar #150 to #149 - organicglory (10/22/2012) [-]
I make a couple jokes and get thumbed down haha **** this website
#152 to #150 - tiaatortilla (10/22/2012) [-]
Bitches be picky.   
Btw gif unrelated.
Bitches be picky.
Btw gif unrelated.
#157 to #135 - crispytg ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
aww. lol, i thought you were funny. why'd you delete these??
0
#229 - yourmomtotherescue **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#249 to #229 - supermandan (10/22/2012) [-]
Is this what women do to you to make you go away?
0
#273 to #249 - yourmomtotherescue **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#123 - harryblazer (10/22/2012) [-]
>be beta as ******* ****
>job sucks, place smells like a ******* chimney chimney 24/7
>go outside and see this girl ive been crushing on for months standing near the fence of where I work
>Alpha right the **** up, walk over, ask her for her number
>she startled at first, but agrees
>rolls up her sleeve and gives it to me
>next day she is put in the oven
>such life in Aushwits
shame though, she did seem really gassed

#187 to #123 - sexypotato (10/22/2012) [-]
You win the internet
You win the internet
#300 to #187 - harryblazer (10/22/2012) [-]
thanks, i have always wanted to be a author
#301 to #300 - harryblazer (10/22/2012) [-]
or a nazi, which ever pays more
#72 - ampy (10/21/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
+47
#112 - cerealisticbeing **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #119 to #112 - fallingidols (10/22/2012) [-]
WOAH YOU ROLLED MY PIC WTF
User avatar #128 to #119 - organicglory (10/22/2012) [-]
dont get a hard dick
User avatar #185 to #128 - fallingidols (10/22/2012) [-]
what are the odds
User avatar #188 to #185 - organicglory (10/22/2012) [-]
not that small
+2
#183 to #128 - vivaceviper **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+10
#154 to #112 - anonsoftomarroww **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#161 to #154 - mrfartypants (10/22/2012) [-]
here you go
here you go
User avatar #194 to #161 - cossackwhoop (10/22/2012) [-]
GoldSrc?
User avatar #116 to #112 - jorgek (10/22/2012) [-]
thats a load of baloney
+55
#117 to #116 - applejackownage **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#279 - latinotornado (10/22/2012) [-]
STORY TIME WITH SEBASTIAN (Alpha Fail Story)   
&gt;Texting my very attractive 8/10 neighbor   
&gt;Parents are gone for the next 4 hours   
&gt;Invite her to come over and watch The Grey with me   
&gt;Things turn good, she actually asks if I wanna grab some snacks at walmart first;I have about 4-5 hours because parents just left so I say yea sure and walk to her house and hop in the car   
&gt;*Quest added: Snack Fest*   
&gt;Get to walmart, buy chips, dip, and some Arnold Palmers (brand of delicious sweet tea) and some Mountain Dew   
&gt;*Quest Completed*   
&gt;Get back to my house cracking jokes and pop the movie in   
&gt;She gets cold (I lowered the heat before I left the house so it would be colder) We start to cuddle   
&gt;we casually talk while the movie goes on;my hand slowly wanders to her theigh and I rub it a little to show her my intentions   
&gt;she goes with it and we start kissing   
&gt;*Quest Added: 			****		 bitches, get money*   
&gt;Kissing starts getting heavier and she pulls my shirt off; I get more aggressive and get on top of her and pull her shirt off (C cup tits)   
&gt;BONER ACTIVATE   
&gt;she gets frisky and starts undoing my pants and giving me a hj while kissing   
&gt;BONER ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL   
&gt;she gets off the couch and starts giving me head (it was ok, not the greatest but she was hot so it made up for it) Boner tells brain to get even more aggressive because the big moment is coming at hand   
&gt;I stand up and undo her pants and bend her over the couch and spanks her hard   
&gt;As soon as my hand comes down on her ass, she rips ass; smells like hot dogs and fruit   
&gt;I stifle my laugh but let out a really loud snort and her face is bright red saying &quot;Oh my god I am so sorry!&quot;   
&gt;I try and go alpha and tell her its ok, it isent a big deal and try to bend her over again   
&gt;she says no and keeps saying shes sorry,Shes gathering up her clothes with a bright red face   
&gt;I waddle after her with pants around ankles asking for her to come back,She gets dressed and goes home and dosent text me for weeks   
&gt;MFW Quest Failed
STORY TIME WITH SEBASTIAN (Alpha Fail Story)
>Texting my very attractive 8/10 neighbor
>Parents are gone for the next 4 hours
>Invite her to come over and watch The Grey with me
>Things turn good, she actually asks if I wanna grab some snacks at walmart first;I have about 4-5 hours because parents just left so I say yea sure and walk to her house and hop in the car
>*Quest added: Snack Fest*
>Get to walmart, buy chips, dip, and some Arnold Palmers (brand of delicious sweet tea) and some Mountain Dew
>*Quest Completed*
>Get back to my house cracking jokes and pop the movie in
>She gets cold (I lowered the heat before I left the house so it would be colder) We start to cuddle
>we casually talk while the movie goes on;my hand slowly wanders to her theigh and I rub it a little to show her my intentions
>she goes with it and we start kissing
>*Quest Added: **** bitches, get money*
>Kissing starts getting heavier and she pulls my shirt off; I get more aggressive and get on top of her and pull her shirt off (C cup tits)
>BONER ACTIVATE
>she gets frisky and starts undoing my pants and giving me a hj while kissing
>BONER ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
>she gets off the couch and starts giving me head (it was ok, not the greatest but she was hot so it made up for it) Boner tells brain to get even more aggressive because the big moment is coming at hand
>I stand up and undo her pants and bend her over the couch and spanks her hard
>As soon as my hand comes down on her ass, she rips ass; smells like hot dogs and fruit
>I stifle my laugh but let out a really loud snort and her face is bright red saying "Oh my god I am so sorry!"
>I try and go alpha and tell her its ok, it isent a big deal and try to bend her over again
>she says no and keeps saying shes sorry,Shes gathering up her clothes with a bright red face
>I waddle after her with pants around ankles asking for her to come back,She gets dressed and goes home and dosent text me for weeks
>MFW Quest Failed
User avatar #282 to #279 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
Holy ******* **** that's funny.
User avatar #284 to #282 - latinotornado (10/22/2012) [-]
Its sad but its true. Happened pretty recently actually, her and I just started texting again
User avatar #287 to #284 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
Yeah, well at least your moving back into the right direction.

But holy **** dude, that was hilarious. You probably shouldn't have tried to hold back the laugh, that probably was what made it so embarrassing for her.
#296 to #279 - xenochaos (10/22/2012) [-]
I wasn't gonna read at first, but sure as hell glad I did. Made my night.    
   
&gt;gif moderately related.
I wasn't gonna read at first, but sure as hell glad I did. Made my night.

>gif moderately related.
#297 to #279 - ludislavonac ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
oh my, well worth the read
#190 - mahnamesjakers (10/22/2012) [-]
One of my favorite greentexts.
User avatar #205 to #190 - muffinmadman (10/22/2012) [-]
Trying not to laugh make me laugh harder XD
#293 to #190 - konyewest (10/22/2012) [-]
10/10 would read again
#144 - bigsaltyballs (10/22/2012) [-]
if she aint an 8,she don't rate
0
#48 to #19 - bloodmachine has deleted their comment [-]
#292 to #19 - xtrem (10/22/2012) [-]
oh the lolis
too bad she's 3dpd
User avatar #50 to #19 - bloodmachine (10/21/2012) [-]
you gross ******* pervert
#69 to #19 - Benmc (10/21/2012) [-]
*sigh* damnit... *unzips pants*
#138 to #69 - icytime (10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#42 to #19 - uthannes (10/21/2012) [-]
seriously though thats ****** up
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