Poor Kid. I feel like I changed a life today...... so I recieved a text today from someone who obviously had the wrong number. But of course, being the asshole  tags are for fags
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Poor Kid

 
Poor Kid. I feel like I changed a life today...... so I recieved a text today from someone who obviously had the wrong number. But of course, being the asshole

I feel like I changed a life today.....

Tags: tags | are | for | fags
so I recieved a text today
from someone who obviously had
the wrong number. But of course,
being the asshole I am, I had to
mess with them. The person texting
me was a kid who thought I was a
at his school or something. But
I started to feel bad for the kid
and decided to give him some
MANLY advice on women.
I Call I Facetime I Add Contact)
Oct 16, 2012 16: 54
I Hello
Hello ),
Oct 16, 2012 17: 20
Ahahh so I did have the
I wrong number
I Lol why were u mad at
Yeah I' m sorry about that.
I don' t know what I was
thinking
Oct 16, 2012 17: 30
Um... ya its fine I m sorry [
I about the adventure
Island thing I just get mad
I when people make fun of I
I me or be mean to me
No it makes sense. It' s
important to stand up for
yourself
Wow u are like the first
person to not say I' m
I kidding and 5 minutes I
I later do it again
Yeah what can I say.. ),
Ya but I still should not
have said that adventure
Island stuff I know u don' t
like it and I' m supposed to
respect people especially
I girls
It' s fine. You' re sexy so it
makes up for it ;)
I U just made my day; -)
I Oh and u to
I Lol what' s up
Just chilling watching TV.
You?
I Grr math homework
I almost done though
Oh yeah? What' re you
doing after?
I Football "
Oct 16, 2012 17: 45
I Football I
Oh too bad. Have funn ).
I Too bad why?
I wanted to hang out? I' m
bored
Well football isn' t till about _
You wanna come over? :) 5
I have know idea where u I
I live I
I How I
I can pick you up.. where
do you live again?
I Um... are u kidding cus if
I u are that' s not cool I
My girl Jesse is with me if
that' s cool. We' re just
pulling our hair out bored
I So just kidding I
Well I wasn' t but I see you
don' t want to chill :( I
I' m not stupid I do but I
I know u are just kidding
Alright your loss.... have
fun at football
I Omg u girls mad or I
I something I want to chill
Oct 16, 2012 18: 01
Alright well we' re at Publix
I With friend?
Yeah. She' s with me the
whole night. V I
I Cool u girls are not
I picking on me are u
t Alright bro pull your **** _
together.
You' been texting the
wrong number for the
past half hour. I' m a
******* dude. A couple
tips for you though:
1. Never apologize to a
hoe. You' re a *******
MAN. Let her do that ****.
2. Have some confidence
bro! If some hoe text you
to hangout just, in a cool-
Itdon' tecate type of
attitude agree and do it.
3. If you' re texting a new
number always check who
it is.
Good luck man!!
PS. If you are familiar with
funnyjunk. ggm, this will
most likely be on the Front
Page by Tom night..
i)( latias_
...
+4141
Views: 104733 Submitted: 10/17/2012
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (446)
[ 446 comments ]
Anonymous comments allowed.
70 comments displayed.
#7 - moosewithcameltoe
Reply +452
(10/17/2012) [-]
MFW reading the last text

It was a really good post, but for some reason I think mentioning that you're putting it on FJ just comes off as immature and kinda kills it.
#343 to #7 - thepressto
Reply -3
(10/17/2012) [-]
shut up, you.
#280 to #7 - ctrlaltwank
Reply +1
(10/17/2012) [-]
I personally found it hilarious...
#212 to #7 - reaperoxide ONLINE
Reply +39
(10/17/2012) [-]
Fixed
#218 to #212 - captnpl ONLINE
Reply +30
(10/17/2012) [-]
We're doing this.
#230 to #218 - lmOldGreg
Reply +81
(10/17/2012) [-]
#244 to #230 - usernameistoolong
Reply +37
(10/17/2012) [-]
hammer time.
#298 to #244 - kivrank
Reply +5
(10/17/2012) [-]
Collaborate and listen?
#338 to #298 - mostlyshits
Reply +2
(10/17/2012) [-]
UNDER PRESSURE
wait
****
#310 to #298 - danniegurl ONLINE
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
IN THE NAAAME OF LOOOVE!
#271 to #230 - dustypengwin
Reply +4
(10/17/2012) [-]
This image has expired
#381 to #271 - dapianoman
Reply +4
(10/18/2012) [-]
#452 to #381 - rahlzel
Reply +7
(10/18/2012) [-]
#456 to #381 - anon
Reply 0
(10/18/2012) [-]
*******
#237 to #212 - honesty
Reply +10
(10/17/2012) [-]
You don't accept Talos as one of the Nine Divine?
#487 to #237 - sasyboncho
Reply 0
(10/18/2012) [-]
He ain't got what is is innit with the ******* devil head yeah the Finnish Swede **** him downward dong.
#188 to #7 - lilbigjoker
Reply +55
(10/17/2012) [-]
At least we know that its genuine.
#4 - LemonNADE
Reply +232
(10/17/2012) [-]
That poor kid.
He gets bullied so much that just when someone offers to hang out with them he thinks it's a joke.
I wish I could give him a bro-hug.
#38 to #4 - terminalvelocity
Reply -1
(10/17/2012) [-]
just hope he won't drink bleach
#179 to #38 - raimbo **User deleted account**
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#229 to #179 - rainbowkirisame
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
#289 to #229 - unncommon ONLINE
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
Now we just have to wait for that cow to wake up in the bottom of his pool.

>inb4 didn't wake up
#204 to #4 - mrvalane
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
he's definetley doing better than me, i mean texting is almost talking and i cant even do that.
#228 to #4 - rainbowkirisame
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
That gave me a feel actually.
#234 to #4 - lmOldGreg
Reply +3
(10/17/2012) [-]
#311 to #234 - danniegurl ONLINE
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
i saw a painting by the same artist in a magazine
#490 to #311 - lmOldGreg
Reply 0
(10/18/2012) [-]
#5 to #4 - LemonNADE
Reply +104
(10/17/2012) [-]
..I definitely didn't mean to pick that image, but okay.
#23 to #5 - puredeliciousness
Reply +66
(10/17/2012) [-]
It's okay, It is just an extremely manly bro-hug.
#247 to #5 - usernameistoolong
Reply +1
(10/17/2012) [-]
Brian Dawkins.?
#253 to #247 - LemonNADE
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
I'm an eagles fan so I have a bunch of my favorite eagles players scattered through my picture folder.
#283 to #253 - fractalius
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
**** yeah eagles are the ****.


Except they suck now
#288 to #283 - LemonNADE
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
Well, we fired Juan as our def. coordinator so that's a step forward.
Our defense improved like hell though, especially with Mychal Kendricks, he's going to be a beast in a few years.
#494 to #288 - usernameistoolong
Reply 0
(10/18/2012) [-]
yeah the lions game sucked..
#495 to #494 - LemonNADE
Reply +1
(10/18/2012) [-]
Everyone assumed they had the win and gave up trying, embarrassing to lose a 10 point lead at home in the last 5 minutes of the game..
#14 - muhamidallea
Reply +111
(10/17/2012) [-]
Anyone who refers to woman as hoes isn't going to have a whole lot of respect from women.
#211 to #14 - imhereforthepron
Reply -2
(10/17/2012) [-]
I mean if you are half retarded and call girls hoes to their faces then yeah you won't get a lot of respect.
#174 to #14 - anon
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
The kid clearly stated that he thought they were picking on him, they were infact "hoes"
#20 to #14 - cedrock
Reply +14
(10/17/2012) [-]
You obviously have no idea how to communicate with women. Everything he mentioned in the content is very helpful. Yes, he did say they were hoes, but it's just to give him the confidence to talk to them.
#119 to #20 - furyofthestorm
Reply +4
(10/17/2012) [-]
Don't know why you don't have more thumbs.
You are correct.
Don't call them hoes, but the attitude is very necessary.
Women are wired to handle things emotionally rather than logically like men.
The things you do, the aura you give off, your confidence is what pulls them in subconsciously.
After that you can be your mlp loving internet self. But in the beginning it's all about looking and acting like you are the king within a 50 mile radius, and you just don't give a ****.
#130 to #119 - cedrock
Reply +1
(10/17/2012) [-]
Thank you. People get butthurt when I give them advice, and thumb me down...**** logic.
#335 to #20 - muhamidallea
Reply +1
(10/17/2012) [-]
I think you have WOMEN and GIRLS confused.
#306 to #20 - anon
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
I wish i could thumb you up more. How the hell does the first comment have 10x the amount of thumbs this does??
#37 to #20 - terminalvelocity
Reply -3
(10/17/2012) [-]
you got a psycological doctorat ?
#41 to #20 - jwinganggreen [OP]
Reply -9
(10/17/2012) [-]
All you beta fags who have been friendzoned and have no luck with girls...read this comment
#66 to #41 - cedrock
Reply -4
(10/17/2012) [-]
You mean my comment? If so, you are right. I used to be all nice and **** to girls... All it led to was friends. If you want the pussy, you have to treat them like you just don't care so that they actually feel bad for not having you.
#67 to #66 - gritsreborn **User deleted account**
+10
has deleted their comment [-]
#291 to #67 - fractalius
Reply +1
(10/17/2012) [-]
You both are actually correct. See, there are the two most common people. Let's refer to them as Alpha and Beta. Alpha gets a lot of girls, but is an ass to them, beta is nice, but gets friendzoned all the time. This leads people to think that being an ass to girls is what gets them to like you, but thats not true.

It's all about confidence. The alpha literally doesn't care, (Almost cares TOO little) so he isn't awkward or afriaid, he is charming, etc. and thats what gets the girls to like him. But then he retains that ass hole aura after the relationship starts, and treats the girl like ****.

From what i have learned, you have to meet a chick, play it cool, be relaxed and calm, even make them feel like they are the ones that like you, make them the ones that want it, don't let the dog pull you. You have the leash, ******* use it. Then once the relationship starts, still be fun. Don't get too attached and clingy (I've made that mistake) but also don't be an ass. You'll **** up enough times to understand what they want.

Also, a few pointers I use that make me feel confident.

1) Always dress like you're going to meet the love of your life that day. You never know, it's always good to look good.

2) Don't be clingy, but don't give 0 ***** at all. Find a common ground that makes the girl thankful of what she has (you), not too much not too little

3) Work out. Even if you don't get bigger, just the feeling (especially when you get good routines going) of being a badass at a gym boosts your confidence to rediculous hights

Anyway thats all for now
#315 to #291 - chipsdubbo
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
and so gritsreborn opened a floodgate of knowledge on the unsuspecting commenters, and drowned all the stupid
#354 to #315 - fractalius
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
Tryin to help haha
#272 to #67 - vys
Reply -1
(10/17/2012) [-]
Well there's no real reason to get angry at him. It's not about being a "horny little douche". Being their friend will lead you into the friend zone obviously. You can be a gentleman and also be what you call "a douche". Hell, from what I saw it doesn't matter what your body looks like that much either. You just have to find your redeeming quality and expand on that.

If you're overweight, you just have to bring their self esteem down to your level. This sounds horrible, I know, but it does work. I learned all of this from the late Patrice O'Neal and his advice had been invaluable ;p Look at him and look at his girl. There are no girls "out of your league", only girls that don't attract you.

I might get thumbed down but I'm just trying to show where he's coming from.
#70 to #67 - cedrock
Reply -4
(10/17/2012) [-]
Not really. This works on any girl. Girls that act slutty are all over me really, but I don't really give them attention. Nice girls on the other hand don't do that. You have to speak to them first, then play hard to get..
#88 to #70 - gritsreborn **User deleted account**
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#293 to #88 - fractalius
Reply +1
(10/17/2012) [-]
I'm not sure why people are thumbing you up so much, and cedrock down. I'm assuming your a lot older than him, which makes sense. As, well frankly your both right. For his location/age group (younger, teens, etc.) the act of confidence, and not caring does make girls want you more. They get a "why doesn't he like me" attitude.

You're probably referencing when your older, like an adult, or already in a relationship.
#61 - captaincabinet **User deleted account**
+71
has deleted their comment [-]
#241 - SirPeanutNuttyFoor
Reply +52
(10/17/2012) [-]
>Kid says sorry once   
>"STOP APOLOGIZING, FAGGOT! SHE'S A HOE! YOU LITTLE BITCH!'   
   
You're an advice wizard, OP.
>Kid says sorry once
>"STOP APOLOGIZING, FAGGOT! SHE'S A HOE! YOU LITTLE BITCH!'

You're an advice wizard, OP.
#246 to #241 - doctorlean **User deleted account**
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#388 to #246 - dylanmart
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#250 to #246 - anon
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
No.......no you dont
#252 to #250 - zerolizer
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
**zerolizer rolls 17** But I do.
#255 to #252 - sasyboncho
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
No...... No you don't.
#254 to #252 - thedarkassassin
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
But you don't.
#399 to #254 - atma
Reply 0
(10/18/2012) [-]
**atma rolls 09** That's because they were actually in your heart, all along.
#210 - sexypotato
Reply +47
(10/17/2012) [-]
This must be your phone op
#467 to #210 - saladtongsofdeath
Reply +3
(10/18/2012) [-]
This image has expired
no... this one is
#53 - fuzzyballs
Reply +44
(10/17/2012) [-]
#235 - Lambda
Reply +40
(10/17/2012) [-]
Somebody with my IP already voted.
MY ROOMMATE BROWSES FJ.
#206 - oniguru
Reply +37
(10/17/2012) [-]
#318 - inanimateobject
Reply +35
(10/17/2012) [-]
How is this funny?
How is this funny?
#353 to #318 - tiaatortilla
Reply 0
(10/17/2012) [-]
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