Poor Kid. I feel like I changed a life today...... so I recieved a text today from someone who obviously had the wrong number. But of course, being the asshole  tags are for fags
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Poor Kid

Poor Kid. I feel like I changed a life today...... so I recieved a text today from someone who obviously had the wrong number. But of course, being the asshole

I feel like I changed a life today.....

Tags: tags | are | for | fags
so I recieved a text today
from someone who obviously had
the wrong number. But of course,
being the asshole I am, I had to
mess with them. The person texting
me was a kid who thought I was a
at his school or something. But
I started to feel bad for the kid
and decided to give him some
MANLY advice on women.
I Call I Facetime I Add Contact)
Oct 16, 2012 16: 54
I Hello
Hello ),
Oct 16, 2012 17: 20
Ahahh so I did have the
I wrong number
I Lol why were u mad at
Yeah I' m sorry about that.
I don' t know what I was
thinking
Oct 16, 2012 17: 30
Um... ya its fine I m sorry [
I about the adventure
Island thing I just get mad
I when people make fun of I
I me or be mean to me
No it makes sense. It' s
important to stand up for
yourself
Wow u are like the first
person to not say I' m
I kidding and 5 minutes I
I later do it again
Yeah what can I say.. ),
Ya but I still should not
have said that adventure
Island stuff I know u don' t
like it and I' m supposed to
respect people especially
I girls
It' s fine. You' re sexy so it
makes up for it ;)
I U just made my day; -)
I Oh and u to
I Lol what' s up
Just chilling watching TV.
You?
I Grr math homework
I almost done though
Oh yeah? What' re you
doing after?
I Football "
Oct 16, 2012 17: 45
I Football I
Oh too bad. Have funn ).
I Too bad why?
I wanted to hang out? I' m
bored
Well football isn' t till about _
You wanna come over? :) 5
I have know idea where u I
I live I
I How I
I can pick you up.. where
do you live again?
I Um... are u kidding cus if
I u are that' s not cool I
My girl Jesse is with me if
that' s cool. We' re just
pulling our hair out bored
I So just kidding I
Well I wasn' t but I see you
don' t want to chill :( I
I' m not stupid I do but I
I know u are just kidding
Alright your loss.... have
fun at football
I Omg u girls mad or I
I something I want to chill
Oct 16, 2012 18: 01
Alright well we' re at Publix
I With friend?
Yeah. She' s with me the
whole night. V I
I Cool u girls are not
I picking on me are u
t Alright bro pull your **** _
together.
You' been texting the
wrong number for the
past half hour. I' m a
******* dude. A couple
tips for you though:
1. Never apologize to a
hoe. You' re a *******
MAN. Let her do that **** .
2. Have some confidence
bro! If some hoe text you
to hangout just, in a cool-
Itdon' tecate type of
attitude agree and do it.
3. If you' re texting a new
number always check who
it is.
Good luck man!!
PS. If you are familiar with
funnyjunk. ggm, this will
most likely be on the Front
Page by Tom night..
i)( latias_
...
  • Recommend tagsx
+4141
Views: 104695
Favorited: 327
Submitted: 10/17/2012
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Comments(446):

[ 446 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
+71
#61 - captaincabinet **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#4 - LemonNADE (10/17/2012) [-]
That poor kid.
He gets bullied so much that just when someone offers to hang out with them he thinks it's a joke.
I wish I could give him a bro-hug.
User avatar #204 to #4 - mrvalane (10/17/2012) [-]
he's definetley doing better than me, i mean texting is almost talking and i cant even do that.
User avatar #228 to #4 - rainbowkirisame (10/17/2012) [-]
That gave me a feel actually.
User avatar #38 to #4 - terminalvelocity (10/17/2012) [-]
just hope he won't drink bleach
+2
#179 to #38 - raimbo **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#229 to #179 - rainbowkirisame (10/17/2012) [-]
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
User avatar #289 to #229 - unncommon (10/17/2012) [-]
Now we just have to wait for that cow to wake up in the bottom of his pool.

>inb4 didn't wake up
User avatar #311 to #234 - danniegurl (10/17/2012) [-]
i saw a painting by the same artist in a magazine
User avatar #5 to #4 - LemonNADE (10/17/2012) [-]
..I definitely didn't mean to pick that image, but okay.
User avatar #23 to #5 - puredeliciousness (10/17/2012) [-]
It's okay, It is just an extremely manly bro-hug.
User avatar #247 to #5 - usernameistoolong (10/17/2012) [-]
Brian Dawkins.?
User avatar #253 to #247 - LemonNADE (10/17/2012) [-]
I'm an eagles fan so I have a bunch of my favorite eagles players scattered through my picture folder.
#283 to #253 - fractalius (10/17/2012) [-]
**** yeah eagles are the **** .


Except they suck now
User avatar #288 to #283 - LemonNADE (10/17/2012) [-]
Well, we fired Juan as our def. coordinator so that's a step forward.
Our defense improved like hell though, especially with Mychal Kendricks, he's going to be a beast in a few years.
User avatar #494 to #288 - usernameistoolong (10/18/2012) [-]
yeah the lions game sucked..
User avatar #495 to #494 - LemonNADE (10/18/2012) [-]
Everyone assumed they had the win and gave up trying, embarrassing to lose a 10 point lead at home in the last 5 minutes of the game..
#241 - SirPeanutNuttyFoor (10/17/2012) [-]
>Kid says sorry once   
>"STOP APOLOGIZING, FAGGOT! SHE'S A HOE! YOU LITTLE BITCH!'   
   
You're an advice wizard, OP.
>Kid says sorry once
>"STOP APOLOGIZING, FAGGOT! SHE'S A HOE! YOU LITTLE BITCH!'

You're an advice wizard, OP.
+2
#246 to #241 - doctorlean **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#250 to #246 - anon (10/17/2012) [-]
No.......no you dont
User avatar #252 to #250 - zerolizer (10/17/2012) [-]
**zerolizer rolls 17** But I do.
User avatar #255 to #252 - sasyboncho (10/17/2012) [-]
No...... No you don't.
User avatar #254 to #252 - thedarkassassin (10/17/2012) [-]
But you don't.
User avatar #399 to #254 - atma (10/18/2012) [-]
**atma rolls 09** That's because they were actually in your heart, all along.
0
#388 to #246 - dylanmart has deleted their comment [-]
#7 - moosewithcameltoe (10/17/2012) [-]
MFW reading the last text

It was a really good post, but for some reason I think mentioning that you're putting it on FJ just comes off as immature and kinda kills it.
User avatar #343 to #7 - thepressto (10/17/2012) [-]
shut up, you.
User avatar #280 to #7 - ctrlaltwank (10/17/2012) [-]
I personally found it hilarious...
#218 to #212 - captnpl (10/17/2012) [-]
We're doing this.
User avatar #244 to #230 - usernameistoolong (10/17/2012) [-]
hammer time.
#298 to #244 - kivrank (10/17/2012) [-]
Collaborate and listen?
User avatar #338 to #298 - mostlyshits (10/17/2012) [-]
UNDER PRESSURE
wait
****
User avatar #310 to #298 - danniegurl (10/17/2012) [-]
IN THE NAAAME OF LOOOVE!
#456 to #381 - anon (10/18/2012) [-]
#237 to #212 - honesty (10/17/2012) [-]
You don't accept Talos as one of the Nine Divine?
User avatar #487 to #237 - sasyboncho (10/18/2012) [-]
He ain't got what is is innit with the ******* devil head yeah the Finnish Swede **** him downward dong.
User avatar #188 to #7 - lilbigjoker (10/17/2012) [-]
At least we know that its genuine.
#165 - Pacboy (10/17/2012) [-]
I see you are texting with the new iPhone!
#83 - stely (10/17/2012) [-]
OP, your phone.
#85 to #83 - grogovic (10/17/2012) [-]
This image has expired
OP likes the vibration mode.
User avatar #305 - popkornking (10/17/2012) [-]
>Girl Advice
>Calls girls hoes
#312 to #305 - anon (10/17/2012) [-]
well hoes b hoes
#210 - sexypotato (10/17/2012) [-]
This must be your phone op
#467 to #210 - saladtongsofdeath (10/18/2012) [-]
This image has expired
no... this one is
#301 - RisenLichen (10/17/2012) [-]
You called a random kid sexy?
#235 - Lambda (10/17/2012) [-]
Somebody with my IP already voted.
MY ROOMMATE BROWSES FJ.
User avatar #14 - muhamidallea (10/17/2012) [-]
Anyone who refers to woman as hoes isn't going to have a whole lot of respect from women.
#174 to #14 - anon (10/17/2012) [-]
The kid clearly stated that he thought they were picking on him, they were infact "hoes"
#211 to #14 - imhereforthepron (10/17/2012) [-]
I mean if you are half retarded and call girls hoes to their faces then yeah you won't get a lot of respect.
User avatar #20 to #14 - cedrock (10/17/2012) [-]
You obviously have no idea how to communicate with women. Everything he mentioned in the content is very helpful. Yes, he did say they were hoes, but it's just to give him the confidence to talk to them.
User avatar #119 to #20 - furyofthestorm (10/17/2012) [-]
Don't know why you don't have more thumbs.
You are correct.
Don't call them hoes, but the attitude is very necessary.
Women are wired to handle things emotionally rather than logically like men.
The things you do, the aura you give off, your confidence is what pulls them in subconsciously.
After that you can be your mlp loving internet self. But in the beginning it's all about looking and acting like you are the king within a 50 mile radius, and you just don't give a **** .
User avatar #130 to #119 - cedrock (10/17/2012) [-]
Thank you. People get butthurt when I give them advice, and thumb me down... **** logic.
User avatar #335 to #20 - muhamidallea (10/17/2012) [-]
I think you have WOMEN and GIRLS confused.
User avatar #37 to #20 - terminalvelocity (10/17/2012) [-]
you got a psycological doctorat ?
User avatar #41 to #20 - jwinganggreen (10/17/2012) [-]
All you beta fags who have been friendzoned and have no luck with girls...read this comment
User avatar #66 to #41 - cedrock (10/17/2012) [-]
You mean my comment? If so, you are right. I used to be all nice and **** to girls... All it led to was friends. If you want the pussy, you have to treat them like you just don't care so that they actually feel bad for not having you.
+10
#67 to #66 - gritsreborn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#291 to #67 - fractalius (10/17/2012) [-]
You both are actually correct. See, there are the two most common people. Let's refer to them as Alpha and Beta. Alpha gets a lot of girls, but is an ass to them, beta is nice, but gets friendzoned all the time. This leads people to think that being an ass to girls is what gets them to like you, but thats not true.

It's all about confidence. The alpha literally doesn't care, (Almost cares TOO little) so he isn't awkward or afriaid, he is charming, etc. and thats what gets the girls to like him. But then he retains that ass hole aura after the relationship starts, and treats the girl like **** .

From what i have learned, you have to meet a chick, play it cool, be relaxed and calm, even make them feel like they are the ones that like you, make them the ones that want it, don't let the dog pull you. You have the leash, ******* use it. Then once the relationship starts, still be fun. Don't get too attached and clingy (I've made that mistake) but also don't be an ass. You'll **** up enough times to understand what they want.

Also, a few pointers I use that make me feel confident.

1) Always dress like you're going to meet the love of your life that day. You never know, it's always good to look good.

2) Don't be clingy, but don't give 0 ***** at all. Find a common ground that makes the girl thankful of what she has (you), not too much not too little

3) Work out. Even if you don't get bigger, just the feeling (especially when you get good routines going) of being a badass at a gym boosts your confidence to rediculous hights

Anyway thats all for now
User avatar #315 to #291 - chipsdubbo (10/17/2012) [-]
and so gritsreborn opened a floodgate of knowledge on the unsuspecting commenters, and drowned all the stupid
#354 to #315 - fractalius (10/17/2012) [-]
Tryin to help haha
User avatar #70 to #67 - cedrock (10/17/2012) [-]
Not really. This works on any girl. Girls that act slutty are all over me really, but I don't really give them attention. Nice girls on the other hand don't do that. You have to speak to them first, then play hard to get..
+2
#88 to #70 - gritsreborn **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#293 to #88 - fractalius (10/17/2012) [-]
I'm not sure why people are thumbing you up so much, and cedrock down. I'm assuming your a lot older than him, which makes sense. As, well frankly your both right. For his location/age group (younger, teens, etc.) the act of confidence, and not caring does make girls want you more. They get a "why doesn't he like me" attitude.

You're probably referencing when your older, like an adult, or already in a relationship.
#272 to #67 - vys (10/17/2012) [-]
Well there's no real reason to get angry at him. It's not about being a "horny little douche". Being their friend will lead you into the friend zone obviously. You can be a gentleman and also be what you call "a douche". Hell, from what I saw it doesn't matter what your body looks like that much either. You just have to find your redeeming quality and expand on that.

If you're overweight, you just have to bring their self esteem down to your level. This sounds horrible, I know, but it does work. I learned all of this from the late Patrice O'Neal and his advice had been invaluable ;p Look at him and look at his girl. There are no girls "out of your league", only girls that don't attract you.

I might get thumbed down but I'm just trying to show where he's coming from.
#306 to #20 - anon (10/17/2012) [-]
I wish i could thumb you up more. How the hell does the first comment have 10x the amount of thumbs this does??
#3 - funneyjunkie (10/17/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#404 - ofmiceandmen (10/18/2012) [-]
Nice new phone OP. The screen's pretty big huh?
#358 - Hidnight (10/17/2012) [-]
I can't wait until it's Tom night.
#314 - HomerSimpson ONLINE (10/17/2012) [-]
........Okay that's cool and all but what the hell happened at adventure island?
#348 to #314 - howdidigethere (10/17/2012) [-]
Rule 34 strikes again. I think that's enough internet for one day, see you all tomorrow.
Rule 34 strikes again. I think that's enough internet for one day, see you all tomorrow.
User avatar #317 to #314 - HomerSimpson ONLINE (10/17/2012) [-]
Ok that is not the reaction image I meant to choose
User avatar #326 to #317 - thatsmevictory (10/17/2012) [-]
WELL, ITS TOO LATE NOW!
User avatar #379 to #317 - nickypickle (10/18/2012) [-]
yah dun goof'd
#141 - taiyou (10/17/2012) [-]
That's some ******** and you know it.
#146 to #141 - crilleballe (10/17/2012) [-]
Nah it's just the new Iphone.
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