Life in Whiterun. .. >I'm also a shopkeeper, I'm from Riverwood >Some dude walks in >My sister recognizes him immediately > dragonborn in our shop >Full Daedric Armou skyrim chan b Whiterun
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#8 - chuckstein
Reply +297
(10/10/2012) [-]
>I'm also a shopkeeper, I'm from Riverwood
>Some dude walks in
>My sister recognizes him immediately
>******* dragonborn in our shop
>Full Daedric Armour, he has a Dragon Priest mask on
>My sister grabs my arm in fear
>He grabs a basket, puts it over our heads
>We hear stuff moving
>Whisper to my sister, "This is ridiculous! We're being robbed!"
>She whispers back, "He has full armor... the power of the voice... and a dragon priest mask... just pretend nothing is happening"
>He ******* takes everything, the bastard
>Go out of business a few weeks later, lose my shop, just a stall now
>He comes back to sell me horker tusks and vampiric salts
>I cry every day.
#208 to #8 - mudkipwaffle **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#209 to #8 - mudkipwaffle **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#87 to #8 - MasterManiac
Reply +2
(10/10/2012) [-]
9/10 would read again
#23 to #8 - DroyLinker
Reply +4
(10/10/2012) [-]
#103 to #8 - magroobtube
Reply +6
(10/10/2012) [-]
I cry ever tim.
#179 to #103 - masterfluffydubs
Reply -1
(10/10/2012) [-]
*cri evr tiem
#32 to #8 - jakols
Reply +9
(10/10/2012) [-]
Yes! i love you
Yes! i love you
#29 to #8 - sathrax
Reply +28
(10/10/2012) [-]
Mfw puts a basket over our heads.
#14 to #8 - Maroon ONLINE
Reply +39
(10/10/2012) [-]
first thing on this site that made me actually laugh in a long time
first thing on this site that made me actually laugh in a long time
#12 - severepwner
Reply +173
(10/10/2012) [-]
>Be guard at whiterun
>would quit, but only thing I can get because of knee injury
>hear Dragonborn becomes thane
>See him coming in full iron armor.
>keep it cool
>comment on his iron armor, doesn't respond
>then I got idea to stay updated in all the late news to keep him in the loop
>nobody ever breaks any laws anyways
>find out the craziest **** like dark brotherhood, and thieves guild
>one day he looks more flustered than usual
>stops in his tracks
>suddenly draws weapons and starts slaughtering everybody
>no one is spared
>shoots me in knee with arrow (guess he thought it would be ironic with my injury, sick bastard)
>no one left besides me
>about to bleed out
>he stops in his tracks again
>suddenly find myself at beginning of shift
>entire town looks as if nothing had happened
>Dragonborn looks like he just blew off some steam
>to this day do not know what the **** happened.
#17 - harveylegnipples
Reply +169
(10/10/2012) [-]
Too funny
#18 to #17 - Kibaxyru
Reply +64
(10/10/2012) [-]
#60 to #18 - adriano **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#4 - snerus
Reply +133
(10/10/2012) [-]
>Be a Guard in Whiterun
>Decent wages, can afford food and mead with some left over for emergencies
>One day some asshole shows up in town
>I try to make friends with him, be a decent person
>One day I'm chilling by the market, and he walks by
>Start telling him about my past life, and how I suffered a terrible injury from bandits
>He starts attacking me for no reason at all
>Yelling something about an "Overused Meme"
#210 to #4 - mooghens
Reply 0
(10/12/2012) [-]
Guess he needs this
#5 to #4 - masdercheef
Reply +42
(10/10/2012) [-]
This really makes me wish you could get to know the characters in games much more, as though they were actual people... Sure, it would make it that much worse when they die, but the experience would be amazing.
#6 to #5 - snerus
Reply +26
(10/10/2012) [-]
Mods make everything better.
#9 - TehBlackfire
Reply +108
(10/10/2012) [-]
>Be guard in Whiterun
>Life is ok, guard duty pretty boring
>End up commenting on everything
>Anytime someone talks to me, I find something to say to keep me interested
>New random adventurer shows up one day
>Seems like a nice guy
>Suggest he join Companions, looks like capable fighter
>He returns a few days later
>Tells me he joined companions
>Ask him if he fetches the meade in the Companions, trying to make conversation
>He gets angry
>Turns out he is legendary Dragonborn
>Oh ****
>He starts screaming in crazy dragon language
>Sky turns into crazy ass storm
>He pulls out two flaming ******* swords
>**** me
>Asks me if I have any final words
>"I used to be an adventurer like you"
#46 to #9 - dubzzzz
Reply +3
(10/10/2012) [-]
Oh my ******* god I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time, good work my friend!
#89 - protex
Reply +76
(10/10/2012) [-]
> Be guard in Helgen.
> A wagon with prisoners arrives
> Checking my list over prisoners who is about to be executed
> A strange man with long hair standing in line
> He is not on the list
> Ask who he is
> Watch him change gender and race for 2 hours.
> Wat.
#81 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#93 to #81 - drainbramage
Reply +2
(10/10/2012) [-]
Is it bad that I joined the imperial legion just so when we attacked whiterun I could take away his house?

It's cool, I eventually killed him, bastard was still going on about Talos.
#108 to #93 - drastronomy
Reply 0
(10/10/2012) [-]
the imperials defended him....The stormcloaks attacked..
#146 to #108 - drainbramage
Reply +3
(10/10/2012) [-]
Then I am confused as ****, maybe it was just me who attacked him.
#151 to #146 - drastronomy
Reply 0
(10/10/2012) [-]
You most likely just killed him.

I never kill any characters unless they are imperial dicks, because my character is a proud Nord.
#169 to #151 - drainbramage
Reply +2
(10/10/2012) [-]
I'm a Khajiit and I the most racist thing an Imperial said to me was that I probably got arrested stealing, which made me think that Khajiits are the ******* of Skyrim.

Stormcloaks are a nord supremacist group, they're effectively nazis.
#186 to #169 - drastronomy
Reply -1
(10/10/2012) [-]
Only ulfric and the extremists.

The only race they do not like are the elves, really. The others are like ******* to them. They tolerate them, but they still think they steal ****.
#187 to #186 - drainbramage
Reply +1
(10/10/2012) [-]
They're also pretty stupid. "Is that...fur? coming out of your ears?"

Yes, yes it is. I'm a ******* cat.
#188 to #187 - drastronomy
Reply 0
(10/10/2012) [-]

guards are dumb as ****.
>Be mage
>Fire wall spell
>Set ******* everything on fire

Also, mfw kahjits
#189 to #188 - drainbramage
Reply 0
(10/10/2012) [-]
I do love some of the outdated speech patterns.
"Oh you're the new member of the companions? What do you do, fetch the mead?"

The next guard I talk to recognizes me as the harbringer.

I love being a Khajiit, I'm also a woman, I made this character simply so I could make this pun. I'm a pussy with a pussy.

Completely worth it.
#163 to #151 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#165 to #163 - drastronomy
Reply 0
(10/10/2012) [-]
Well, the banning of Talos was just the spark that lighted the oil, like how ww1 was sparked by the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. What really caused it was the mass trapping, torturing, and execution of Nords and men by the thalmor and because the imperials used their military power to stop any uprisings/ rebbelions.

However, i agree,that the stormcloaks should fight the thalmor alongside the imperials instead. Ulfric is a bit too bold. However, maintaining peace in Skyrim at the cost of hatred towards the empire and imprisonment of its people is, for me, is the greater of two evils.

#171 to #165 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#183 to #81 - sovngarde
Reply +2
(10/10/2012) [-]
Uhhh...about that "going to sovngarde" thing for you.

You're annoying as ****, so we don't want you....
#200 to #183 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account**
has deleted their comment [-]
#119 to #81 - drastronomy
Reply +20
(10/10/2012) [-]
>Be jarl of windhelm and leader of the stormcloaks
>just escaped my annoying bodyguard who has a gay crush on me
>Faggot thief decided to go with him as i get on a horse to leave helgen while a dragon is destroying it.
>Come home after 4 hours of fighting bears with an iron axe and running away from giant homosexuals who want to shove their bone dildo up my ass
>My other body guard, who also has a gay crush on me, but i tolerate since he is a manly man welcomes me into my hall.
>Ralof and his buttbuddy come, he tells me all about how this guy is appearently dragonborn
> Tired of his ****, send him to an island to kill an icewraith with his wooden ******* sword
>Wait 4 months, assume he is dead because of the ******* dragon coming every day 4:00 to **** my castle
>MFW he comes back, kills all the dragons, in dragonbone armour with a sword that can cut through ******* anything
>MFW he wins the war alone with barely a papercut
>MFW he also had a gay crush on me
>MFW he was never going to give me up
>Never gonna to let you doown
>Never gonna ruun around and desert you
#80 - serotonin
Reply +65
(10/10/2012) [-]
#168 to #80 - mooghens
Reply +2
(10/10/2012) [-]
oh my ****!
#109 to #80 - xldarkking
Reply +3
(10/10/2012) [-]
#94 to #80 - michiisgay
Reply +11
(10/10/2012) [-]
Cannot unsee
Cannot unsee
#68 - therevanchist
Reply +64
(10/10/2012) [-]
Being the dragonborn in Skyrim is like being a Muslim Extremist in real life.

When somebody pisses you off, there's a lot of screaming in some goddamn squiggle language and then tons of explosions.
#166 to #68 - mooghens
Reply +3
(10/10/2012) [-]
#72 to #68 - goodguygary ONLINE
Reply +7
(10/10/2012) [-]
i laughed at that harder then i should have
#15 - IceBearJudgesYou
Reply +44
(10/10/2012) [-]
>Working in a shop in Whiterun.
>Some asshole decked out in some quality armour walks in.
>Sells me a **** ton of useless ****.
>Kills me for no apparent reason.
>Suddenly alive, like it never happened, PC ust staring at me.
>Sells me more random ****.
>Kills me again.
>Suddenly alive once again.
>He leaves.
>Cringe every time he walks in.