Life in Whiterun. . File: -( 332 KB, 1080x1080, ) sbe a businessman in Whiterun sailing the war is great fer business Uintill that ens asshole showed up out my  skyrim chan b Whiterun
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Life in Whiterun

File: -( 332 KB, 1080x1080, )
sbe a businessman in Whiterun
sailing the war is great fer business
Uintill that ens asshole showed up
out my purse P' ' day selling me useless crap. have nothing to buy from my suppliers
sells me artifacts beyond imagining
wave to out its we has the 3 bagillion gold to buy them
stands in my store far it hours. not moving attacking
have stopped coming in to admid harming statue man
Maire its gold to pay taxes
Marl refuses to accept three thousand footages
up in debtors prison
soaped by an Orc PA/ ery night
that PC
FIT: How PCs have ruined our lives
...
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Views: 68476
Favorited: 300
Submitted: 10/09/2012
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Comments(165):

[ 165 comments ]
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#12 - severepwner (10/10/2012) [-]
>Be guard at whiterun
>would quit, but only thing I can get because of knee injury
>hear Dragonborn becomes thane
>See him coming in full iron armor.
>keep it cool
>comment on his iron armor, doesn't respond
>then I got idea to stay updated in all the late news to keep him in the loop
>nobody ever breaks any laws anyways
>find out the craziest **** like dark brotherhood, and thieves guild
>one day he looks more flustered than usual
>stops in his tracks
>suddenly draws weapons and starts slaughtering everybody
>no one is spared
>shoots me in knee with arrow (guess he thought it would be ironic with my injury, sick bastard)
>no one left besides me
>about to bleed out
>he stops in his tracks again
>suddenly find myself at beginning of shift
>entire town looks as if nothing had happened
>wtf.jpg
>Dragonborn looks like he just blew off some steam
>to this day do not know what the **** happened.
#9 - TehBlackfire (10/10/2012) [-]
>Be guard in Whiterun
>Life is ok, guard duty pretty boring
>End up commenting on everything
>Anytime someone talks to me, I find something to say to keep me interested
>New random adventurer shows up one day
>Seems like a nice guy
>Suggest he join Companions, looks like capable fighter
>He returns a few days later
>Tells me he joined companions
>Ask him if he fetches the meade in the Companions, trying to make conversation
>He gets angry
>Turns out he is legendary Dragonborn
>Oh ****
>He starts screaming in crazy dragon language
>Sky turns into crazy ass storm
>He pulls out two flaming ******* swords
> **** me
>Asks me if I have any final words
>"I used to be an adventurer like you"
>hfw
User avatar #46 to #9 - dubzzzz (10/10/2012) [-]
Oh my ******* god I haven't laughed so hard in such a long time, good work my friend!
+71
#81 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #93 to #81 - drainbramage (10/10/2012) [-]
Is it bad that I joined the imperial legion just so when we attacked whiterun I could take away his house?






It's cool, I eventually killed him, bastard was still going on about Talos.
User avatar #108 to #93 - drastronomy (10/10/2012) [-]
the imperials defended him....The stormcloaks attacked..
User avatar #146 to #108 - drainbramage (10/10/2012) [-]
Then I am confused as **** , maybe it was just me who attacked him.
User avatar #151 to #146 - drastronomy (10/10/2012) [-]
You most likely just killed him.

I never kill any characters unless they are imperial dicks, because my character is a proud Nord.
User avatar #169 to #151 - drainbramage (10/10/2012) [-]
I'm a Khajiit and I the most racist thing an Imperial said to me was that I probably got arrested stealing, which made me think that Khajiits are the ******* of Skyrim.






Stormcloaks are a nord supremacist group, they're effectively nazis.
User avatar #186 to #169 - drastronomy (10/10/2012) [-]
Only ulfric and the extremists.

The only race they do not like are the elves, really. The others are like ******* to them. They tolerate them, but they still think they steal **** .
User avatar #187 to #186 - drainbramage (10/10/2012) [-]
They're also pretty stupid. "Is that...fur? coming out of your ears?"







Yes, yes it is. I'm a ******* cat.
#188 to #187 - drastronomy (10/10/2012) [-]
Lawl

guards are dumb as **** .
>Be mage
>Fire wall spell
>Set ******* everything on fire
>Guards : DO NOT SET ANYTHING ON FIRE NOU

Also, mfw kahjits
User avatar #189 to #188 - drainbramage (10/10/2012) [-]
I do love some of the outdated speech patterns.
"Oh you're the new member of the companions? What do you do, fetch the mead?"

The next guard I talk to recognizes me as the harbringer.

I love being a Khajiit, I'm also a woman, I made this character simply so I could make this pun. I'm a pussy with a pussy.

Completely worth it.
0
#163 to #151 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#165 to #163 - drastronomy (10/10/2012) [-]
Well, the banning of Talos was just the spark that lighted the oil, like how ww1 was sparked by the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. What really caused it was the mass trapping, torturing, and execution of Nords and men by the thalmor and because the imperials used their military power to stop any uprisings/ rebbelions.

However, i agree,that the stormcloaks should fight the thalmor alongside the imperials instead. Ulfric is a bit too bold. However, maintaining peace in Skyrim at the cost of hatred towards the empire and imprisonment of its people is, for me, is the greater of two evils.

0
#171 to #165 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#183 to #81 - sovngarde (10/10/2012) [-]
Uhhh...about that "going to sovngarde" thing for you.





You're annoying as **** , so we don't want you....
+1
#200 to #183 - wolfblackfire **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#119 to #81 - drastronomy (10/10/2012) [-]
>Be jarl of windhelm and leader of the stormcloaks
>just escaped my annoying bodyguard who has a gay crush on me
>Faggot thief decided to go with him as i get on a horse to leave helgen while a dragon is destroying it.
>Come home after 4 hours of fighting bears with an iron axe and running away from giant homosexuals who want to shove their bone dildo up my ass
>My other body guard, who also has a gay crush on me, but i tolerate since he is a manly man welcomes me into my hall.
>Ralof and his buttbuddy come, he tells me all about how this guy is appearently dragonborn
> Tired of his **** , send him to an island to kill an icewraith with his wooden ******* sword
>Wait 4 months, assume he is dead because of the ******* dragon coming every day 4:00 to **** my castle
>MFW he comes back, kills all the dragons, in dragonbone armour with a sword that can cut through ******* anything
>MFW he wins the war alone with barely a papercut
>MFW he also had a gay crush on me
>MFW he was never going to give me up
>Never gonna to let you doown
>Never gonna ruun around and desert you
#168 to #80 - mooghens ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
oh my **** !
User avatar #109 to #80 - xldarkking (10/10/2012) [-]
hahahaHAHAHA!
#94 to #80 - michiisgay (10/10/2012) [-]
Cannot unsee
Cannot unsee
User avatar #8 - chuckstein (10/10/2012) [-]
>I'm also a shopkeeper, I'm from Riverwood
>Some dude walks in
>My sister recognizes him immediately
> ******* dragonborn in our shop
>Full Daedric Armour, he has a Dragon Priest mask on
>My sister grabs my arm in fear
>He grabs a basket, puts it over our heads
>We hear stuff moving
>Whisper to my sister, "This is ridiculous! We're being robbed!"
>She whispers back, "He has full armor... the power of the voice... and a dragon priest mask... just pretend nothing is happening"
>He ******* takes everything, the bastard
>Go out of business a few weeks later, lose my shop, just a stall now
>He comes back to sell me horker tusks and vampiric salts
>I cry every day.
0
#208 to #8 - mudkipwaffle **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
0
#209 to #8 - mudkipwaffle **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #87 to #8 - MasterManiac (10/10/2012) [-]
9/10 would read again
User avatar #23 to #8 - DroyLinker (10/10/2012) [-]
OMG
HAHAHAHA
User avatar #103 to #8 - magroobtube (10/10/2012) [-]
I cry ever tim.
User avatar #179 to #103 - masterfluffydubs (10/10/2012) [-]
*cri evr tiem
#32 to #8 - jakols (10/10/2012) [-]
Yes! i love you
Yes! i love you
#29 to #8 - sathrax (10/10/2012) [-]
Mfw puts a basket over our heads.
#14 to #8 - Maroon ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
first thing on this site that made me actually laugh in a long time
first thing on this site that made me actually laugh in a long time
User avatar #4 - snerus (10/10/2012) [-]
>Be a Guard in Whiterun
>Decent wages, can afford food and mead with some left over for emergencies
>One day some asshole shows up in town
>"PC"
>I try to make friends with him, be a decent person
>One day I'm chilling by the market, and he walks by
>Start telling him about my past life, and how I suffered a terrible injury from bandits
>He starts attacking me for no reason at all
>Yelling something about an "Overused Meme"
User avatar #210 to #4 - mooghens ONLINE (10/12/2012) [-]
Guess he needs this skyrim.nexusmods.com/mods/15428
User avatar #5 to #4 - masdercheef ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
This really makes me wish you could get to know the characters in games much more, as though they were actual people... Sure, it would make it that much worse when they die, but the experience would be amazing.
User avatar #6 to #5 - snerus (10/10/2012) [-]
Mods make everything better.
#68 - therevanchist ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
Being the dragonborn in Skyrim is like being a Muslim Extremist in real life.

When somebody pisses you off, there's a lot of screaming in some goddamn squiggle language and then tons of explosions.
#166 to #68 - mooghens ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
WHY DOESN'T THIS GUY HAVE MORE THUMBS?
WHY DOESN'T THIS GUY HAVE MORE THUMBS?
User avatar #72 to #68 - goodguygary (10/10/2012) [-]
i laughed at that harder then i should have
#17 - harveylegnipples (10/10/2012) [-]
Too funny
-7
#60 to #18 - adriano **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#59 - derpmageddon (10/10/2012) [-]
I think the dragonborn may have certain issues with his mind.
User avatar #58 - ShaunG (10/10/2012) [-]
>be guard in whiterun
>some famous cunt keeps yelling
>tell him to stop
>he doesn't, so i arrest him
>he goes quietly, so all is okay
>5 minutes later, he's running around whiterun naked
>cheeky cunt
#57 - repugnantpug ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
he never knew what we did to him in other saves...
#49 - holypiez (10/10/2012) [-]
this is all i remember from that game
#71 to #49 - anon (10/10/2012) [-]
At least you can zoom out and have a gander every now and again, then go back to first person cause the animations are laughable.
User avatar #15 - IceBearJudgesYou (10/10/2012) [-]
>Working in a shop in Whiterun.
>Some asshole decked out in some quality armour walks in.
>"PC"
>Sells me a **** ton of useless **** .
>Kills me for no apparent reason.
>Suddenly alive, like it never happened, PC ust staring at me.
>Sells me more random **** .
>Kills me again.
>Suddenly alive once again.
>He leaves.
>Cringe every time he walks in.
User avatar #11 - mattdoggy (10/10/2012) [-]
>be guard at whiterun
>have boring life guarding the Jarl's palace
>only thing that makes life worth while is the angel Lydia
>i get to watch her every day as she comes and go's
>one day some outlander shows up
>swoops in out of no where and acts like he owns the place
>Jarl loses his mind and makes him a thane
>Lydia goes to live with him
>i cry every day behind my helmet
>all i can do is remember how i can't adventure anymore do to my knee injury
>would love to go out and fight dragons, just so i could die and be free, but i'm stuck on guard duty.
>i get some hope from rumors
>there are wild crazy ones like he's a wearwolf or part of the thieves guild and dark brotherhood (as if)
>but i hear he had gone out into the mountains with some red guards.
>something about going to explore caves
>i knew what he was doing out there all alone
>next time i saw him i proudly said "Seen those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved swords. Curved. Swords."
>he didn't say anything, but like a statue he looked at me for what seemed like forever, but only a few seconds in reality
>then he went on his way to the mountains to shout it out
>hopefully he'll let Lydia come back to me, i hate to see her treated so bad, she's practically a slave.
#148 - pictureperfect (10/10/2012) [-]
>Working as my master Ulfric's steward
>Bored as ****
>Sit at the table I spent hours preparing
>Door opens
>Look over to see some random dude just walk into the ******* palace like he owns the place
>Ignore him, not my problem
>Goes to talk to Ulfric, comes back minutes later.
>Starts heading out the door, stops, and turns around.
>Shouts some random sounding gibberish.
>Suddenly, plates and cabbages go ******* rocketing around the room, hitting me and several other's in the face.
>Random guy leaves

After I set the table all ******* day, this little cunt just trashed the damn place.

MFW The guards and Ulfric don't give two ***** .
#47 - grimmwaters ONLINE (10/10/2012) [-]
User avatar #82 - robots (10/10/2012) [-]
> lived for thousands of years
> present for the dawn era - the birth of time itself, can't explain my existence for i don't know myself.
> witnessed the birth of races in the mythic era, survived the red mountain eruption and the oblivion crises, experienced the rise and fall of countless empires and dynasties throughout tamriel, even tutored several emperors including Uriel Septim VII for a short while.
> schooled in all forms of magic and enchantments, combat and fighting from akaviri too orsimer.
> observe the same routine with each new rule - rise to power, stable economy and civilisation, underground corruption grows and grows, overwhelming the rulers, major crises occurs be it war or the work of the divines, current ruler dethroned, new empire established.
> Same old story, new names each time.
> broker deals with the divines and deadra in order to establish guilds and factions all across tamriel
> scout out suitable operators and leaders for each faction in the hopes of preventing catastrophes and bringing some form of balance to the land.
> group i call the 'fighters guild' used to prevent the rise of tyrants and war lords to power.
>Thieves guild and dark brotherhood used to cease the rise of non-combatant individuals to power.
> Each guild prevents disaster and instability through their own means, etc, etc.
> system has worked for a few centuries, no need to intervene.
> rise to the top of each faction every few centuries, passing down the knowledge and skills I have learnt throughout my life as I deem necessary for the progression of the races of the land, disappear once my work is done.
> Relive the same life over and over, decide it's time for another change.
> Devote my life to more peaceful pursuits, tired of the bloodshed.
> venture from mountain to mountain, searching for the perfect area to back away from the world and its' troubles and meditate on my life and where it's headed.
User avatar #83 to #82 - robots (10/10/2012) [-]
> scale the tallest mountain in the region i call 'Skyrim', armed with nothing but endless parchments, quills and ink.
> Meet an unexpected inhabitant, calls himself Paarthurnax.
> Learn his language quickly, begin to converse with this creature in depth, talking about everything from politics to cloud formation.
> We speak of our experiences, stories we have heard and tales we have told ourselves.
> Begin to write down our conversations in code under false names such as Giraud Gernane, Engwe Emeloth, Arondil and Dagon, to name a few.
> Leave my dragon friend the mountain he calls 'Throat of the World' after a century or so of conversation.
> Scatter books around Tamriel's many libraries, stores, caravans and caves in the hopes of furthering the knowledge of those who wish to learn even further.
> Return to skyrim some many years later.
> pass by the city of Falkreath where i recall serving as a voluntary priest of Arkay for a time, tending to the graves and tombs of those who died defending the cities walls from outsiders.
> Travel passed a settlement named Riverwood and up towards the throat of the world to visit an old friend.
> Arrive in Whiterun where i seem to remember drawing up plans for a large hall ontop a large hill at the back of the town, capable of holding some vicious beast.
> No coin to stay in the inn, smile to myself that my system of currency is still effective even after all these years.
> Thank the inn-keep anyway, and move on.
> Sleep under the stars by a river near the gates of town, where i prefer it anyway.
#84 to #83 - robots (10/10/2012) [-]
> Next day an apparent local comes into town, i can tell he's skilled in the schools of magic and well experienced in the fundamentals of combat.   
> He approaches me and asks if i've heard any rumours.   
> Relay to him the gossip i heard at the inn last night when he gives me a coin for my help.   
> Thank him and use my power to bestow a blessing of the divines upon him.   
> Doesn't say a word and moves along.   
> The adventurer frequently stops by for a blessing for a coin and i gladly give it him.   
> Something tells me this character is special, unique.   
> Something also tells me i have no idea how to finish this story.
> Next day an apparent local comes into town, i can tell he's skilled in the schools of magic and well experienced in the fundamentals of combat.
> He approaches me and asks if i've heard any rumours.
> Relay to him the gossip i heard at the inn last night when he gives me a coin for my help.
> Thank him and use my power to bestow a blessing of the divines upon him.
> Doesn't say a word and moves along.
> The adventurer frequently stops by for a blessing for a coin and i gladly give it him.
> Something tells me this character is special, unique.
> Something also tells me i have no idea how to finish this story.
User avatar #175 to #84 - kingofnewyork (10/10/2012) [-]
Damnit! I kept waiting for you to reveal yourself as Tiber Septim, one of the divines, Alduin, Bethesda, the player character or a daedric lord. You have to continue, finish what you started! :)
User avatar #132 to #84 - voltkills (10/10/2012) [-]
must have more... please?

this was brilliant, well done.
#86 to #84 - anon (10/10/2012) [-]
>le meme arrows
#207 to #86 - amuzen (10/10/2012) [-]
Le meme keyboard and language.
They were just arrows long before they had anything to do with memes.
#13 - eternalpleasure (10/10/2012) [-]
>Be a guard in whiterun.
>Barely make living from salary.
>Wife left me after knee injury.
>Here screams coming from the near the jarl's place.
>That crazy guy who used to scream about the nine is dead.
>Crazy lunatic starts shouting at me with magic words.
>Suddenly giant drops down from sky.
>I close my eyes as the giant closes in on me.
User avatar #21 - makedonski (10/10/2012) [-]
>Be adventurer in Tamriel
>Make my way to Skyrim
>Attempt raid on bandit village
>Bandit archer gets me in the knee
>Have to spend the rest of my days guarding Whiterun
>Such is life in elder scrolls
User avatar #30 to #21 - SwiftNinja (10/10/2012) [-]
In Tamriel*
User avatar #35 to #30 - opiethepug (10/10/2012) [-]
Tamriel*
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