Amazing tips to improve your life. . AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. IF CHEKING ON AN FEE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A {SUP OF WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTA! THE BLOC
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Amazing tips to improve your life

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF CHEKING ON AN FEE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A {SUP OF
WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTA! THE BLOCKAGE WILL
INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLIDING VEGETABLES BY
GEEH' GNG SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS “SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF
AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE
ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM GLICK WILL
PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GGING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE ) BUTTON.
all IF YOU HAVE A BAD GEUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.
THEN VGU' LL BE AFRAID TO GEUGH.
...
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Views: 89769
Favorited: 517
Submitted: 09/24/2012
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Comments(224):

[ 224 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#2 - thedudest (09/24/2012) [-]
Feeling hot?? Shove ice cubes up your ass!!
#8 to #2 - anon (09/24/2012) [-]
Hot?

How about: frisky, hot, bored, sleepy, angry or any other excuse.

Bonus points for ginger: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=figging
#179 to #8 - contaminatedwin (09/25/2012) [-]
"Also, after peeling the ginger, wash your hands afterward because ginger juice in the eye just plain hurts like a mother ****** and is not fun or horny inducing in any way!"

Who would do this anyway?
#71 - esmebuffay (09/24/2012) [-]
I might try number 5.
#193 - zakvanloocke (09/25/2012) [-]
Oh 			****		 I coughed!
Oh **** I coughed!
#196 to #193 - Kushmonster (09/25/2012) [-]
Here's some "Halls"
#209 to #193 - arbazio (09/25/2012) [-]
Literally "Oh **** "....




hue hue hue
#165 - kez (09/24/2012) [-]
You forgot one

If you fall over in public and its really embarrising. Dont get up and dust your self off or pretend like it didnt hurt.

Stay down and dont move.

No ones going to laugh at someone they think is seriously injured. You may also get a free drink or food item from strangers.
#145 - giustobuffo (09/24/2012) [-]
ONE TIME I WAS CHOKING ON SOME SNOW BUT THEN THE SNOW MELTED AND TURNED INTO WATER. CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?
#11 - huszti (09/24/2012) [-]
i should stop browsing fj when i'm at work. it could be suspicious if i randomly start laughing   
about no. 3: why using the sink when you can pee while showering?
i should stop browsing fj when i'm at work. it could be suspicious if i randomly start laughing
about no. 3: why using the sink when you can pee while showering?
#126 to #11 - xwilly (09/24/2012) [-]
Let me just take a shower every time I go pee.
User avatar #14 to #11 - teatime (09/24/2012) [-]
you pee only twice a year?
User avatar #29 to #14 - huszti (09/24/2012) [-]
bladder of steel, brah
User avatar #42 to #14 - glasgowrangers (09/24/2012) [-]
twice a year lol?
+14
#120 to #42 - rottingwhaleanus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #134 to #120 - glasgowrangers (09/24/2012) [-]
butters...i feel like i've missed relevant info lol
+13
#146 to #134 - rottingwhaleanus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
-9
#164 to #14 - organicglory has deleted their comment [-]
#208 - moustachefingers (09/25/2012) [-]
Another tip:     
   
When you are frustrated, a good way to relieve tension is to place 1/2 a tooth pick under your big toe, and kick a wall with as much force as possible.
Another tip:

When you are frustrated, a good way to relieve tension is to place 1/2 a tooth pick under your big toe, and kick a wall with as much force as possible.

User avatar #211 to #208 - lolfire (09/25/2012) [-]
**** you I just felt that.
#204 - greenthegunstar (09/25/2012) [-]
Nice try, I'm not falling for that a fourth time.
#72 - pmilooo ONLINE (09/24/2012) [-]
I actually thought number 1 was real...
I actually thought number 1 was real...
#111 to #72 - stanleys (09/24/2012) [-]
I'm almost afraid to know what goes on in that bed. Some weird 			****		 has happened there
I'm almost afraid to know what goes on in that bed. Some weird **** has happened there
User avatar #86 to #72 - pipots (09/24/2012) [-]
ed looked like he had a boner haha
#81 to #72 - waterfire (09/24/2012) [-]
Relavant to your post....
+22
#64 - wildebrony **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#38 - oodlesandoodles (09/24/2012) [-]
And now we wait for some stupid bastard to take the bait
And now we wait for some stupid bastard to take the bait
User avatar #44 to #38 - jibbablabba (09/24/2012) [-]
oh my god, i just laughed so freaking hard that i nearly **** myself
User avatar #58 to #44 - FJCommenter (09/24/2012) [-]
you shouldnt of taken those laxatives
#125 to #58 - jibbablabba (09/24/2012) [-]
Shouldn't I have?
Shouldn't I have?
#233 to #58 - ratherfastblackman **User deleted account** (09/25/2012) [-]
Shouldn't of...

wat?
#131 - bobodevetjedan (09/24/2012) [-]
Finally something funny on funnyjunk!
#110 - qazzuiop (09/24/2012) [-]
At first I thought "Wow, that's a brilliant idea"   
   
   
"Wait, what the 			****		?
At first I thought "Wow, that's a brilliant idea"


"Wait, what the **** ?
#67 - letusbecereal (09/24/2012) [-]
The third one.
#133 - frysfrys (09/24/2012) [-]
Well, regardless of whether you cough or not, you're still going to end up ******** your pants if you just stay where you are. Laxatives pretty much loosen up your anus.
User avatar #137 to #133 - heartlessrobot (09/24/2012) [-]
So does buttsex with a horse.
User avatar #138 to #137 - frysfrys (09/24/2012) [-]
Well, butt sex with anything is going to loosen the anus. Just not permanently.. But, having anal sex with a horse will most likely end up with you dying..
#9 - nsfwanon ONLINE (09/24/2012) [-]
Didn't laugh until the last one, then I completely lost my 			****		   
   
Although number 5 might come in handy, I snooze like a 			************
Didn't laugh until the last one, then I completely lost my ****

Although number 5 might come in handy, I snooze like a ************
#36 to #9 - soulofcalibur (09/24/2012) [-]
You lost your **** after reading something about laxatives?
#12 to #9 - natanhiel (09/24/2012) [-]
Did you cough?
#69 to #12 - nsfwanon ONLINE (09/24/2012) [-]
Thanks to soulofcalibur, I finally understand your comment.

Well played, well god damn played! haha!
#151 - slendie (09/24/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#109 - Deavas (09/24/2012) [-]
This image has expired
number 5 and 6 though...
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