useless superpowers. OC-no Repost-???. USELESS. Come on, turn invisible in the dark? You would be an ultimate ninja. kill someone, and hide somewhere dark. no one will find you WTF You looking at
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[ 369 comments ]
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User avatar #4 - whycanticaps (09/10/2012) [-]
Come on, turn invisible in the dark? You would be an ultimate ninja. kill someone, and hide somewhere dark. no one will find you
User avatar #128 to #4 - Akwardweirdo (09/10/2012) [-]
exactly what i thought
User avatar #5 to #4 - undeadwolf (09/10/2012) [-]
Sounds like being a ****** .
User avatar #14 to #5 - profarnsworth (09/10/2012) [-]
except ******* eventually get caught. Have you ever watched those tv shows about jail? Who is the minority in jail my friend? Who?
User avatar #19 to #14 - aqualadFTW (09/10/2012) [-]
The minority in jail is white people. The majority in jail is black people.
User avatar #20 to #19 - profarnsworth (09/10/2012) [-]
that is my point.
#305 to #19 - saladtongsofdeath (09/10/2012) [-]
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**saladtongsofdeath rolled a random image posted in comment #24 at Nice guys ** you're both wrong... the minority are ninjas
+62
#59 - dontrixster **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #64 to #59 - beatmasterz (09/10/2012) [-]
Then let's just not hope the super slow-mo isn't included.
User avatar #106 - bennyandwills (09/10/2012) [-]
A lot of these are actually awesome (and some of these have been pointed out in the comment section):
Acid Tears - Have fun escaping from any locked room, container, or bond, as well as being able to have a sneaky surprise attack on any grappled enemy
Invisibility in the Dark - Assuming they mean incomplete darkness, then that's super useful. You'd be the ultimate burglar, or able to escape from anyone after ducking into an alley.
Control Remote Control - That's obvious. We've all been there; you need to change the channel but the remote is too far away! Now you have the power of the Kinect in your hand, haha.
75% Levitation - You are now an instant Parkour expert, as well as a long-jumping champion. You could easily turn to a life of crime, scaling building easily and clearing fences with little issue.
Super Slow-Mo - You are now a dubstep dancing champion. Seriously, you'd be the life of any club.
1 second Super Strength - Assuming it refreshes every now and then, you could land a one hit KO on a rival, or Chuck Norris an unsuspecting car or door. Nobody would mess with you after that.
Turn into a Laptop Forever - You can now access all the porn in the world, and watch most of it at the same time. You can surf the internet, stay awake forever, and have access to infinite knowledge. Even with the loss of mobility, that is pretty tempting.

TL;DR - Yeah, I disagree with the "useless" label :)
#310 to #106 - saladtongsofdeath (09/10/2012) [-]
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**saladtongsofdeath rolled a random image posted in comment #37 at Party Hard ** access to infinite porn? too bad you cant fap
#331 to #106 - John Cena (09/10/2012) [-]
Ok, have to correct few of these:
Acid Tears - When you cry, you immediatly melt your eyes....
Invisibility in the Dark - Judging by the picture, your clothes would remain, so unless you were buttnaked, people would still see you.
Super Slow-Mo - Again, judging by the picture, it would seem only you slow down, not other way around. I have no idea how slow movements would help in dancing...
Turn into a Laptop Forever - Judging how laptops wont last for ever, you would only be alive like 5- 10 years max. And considering you are the machine, you don't have free will, so none of these would happen unless the user did them.

But I still agree in Levitation and 1 Second super Strenght (since no idea if reseting or not)
#349 to #331 - bennyandwills (09/10/2012) [-]
Rebuttals:   
Acid Tears - Presumably they wouldn't melt you, because otherwise that's just suicide power (tear ducts work while you sleep, that'd burn into your brain, bad times ahead)   
Invisibility - That isn't clear, but even so, you could work it out :P   
Super Slow-Mo - Obviously you don't listen to much dubstep hahaha   
Laptop - It can be assumed when you turn into something that you'd retain your free-will, otherwise the power is truly pointless. When Beast Boy turns into a pterodactyl he doesn't forget who he is, or lose motor control to animal instinct. I think it's fair to say that you'd keep some level of free-will :) I'd even take the 5-10 year lifespan knowing that I could absorb more knowledge than most humans do in a lifetime.
Rebuttals:
Acid Tears - Presumably they wouldn't melt you, because otherwise that's just suicide power (tear ducts work while you sleep, that'd burn into your brain, bad times ahead)
Invisibility - That isn't clear, but even so, you could work it out :P
Super Slow-Mo - Obviously you don't listen to much dubstep hahaha
Laptop - It can be assumed when you turn into something that you'd retain your free-will, otherwise the power is truly pointless. When Beast Boy turns into a pterodactyl he doesn't forget who he is, or lose motor control to animal instinct. I think it's fair to say that you'd keep some level of free-will :) I'd even take the 5-10 year lifespan knowing that I could absorb more knowledge than most humans do in a lifetime.
User avatar #345 to #331 - crafty (09/10/2012) [-]
"Invisibility in the Dark - Judging by the picture, your clothes would remain, so unless you were buttnaked, people would still see you. "

Why wouldn't i be butt naked?
User avatar #131 to #107 - snakebelmont (09/10/2012) [-]
What if you got a virus when you turned into a laptop, you'd also have access to the worst places on the internet and if someone used you and made you play all the tween bands...
User avatar #135 to #131 - bennyandwills (09/10/2012) [-]
You could do whatever you'd want! (depending on the rules of course)
#114 - John Cena (09/10/2012) [-]
75% levitation - Win all olympic jumping sports
Bullet attraction - Wear a bulletproof suit, stop all gun crime/war worldwide, win Nobel Peace Prize
Super slo mo - Make your kickass own movie
Revive bugs - If anyone kills spiderbro, you can bring his soul back from the underworld
1 second super strength - Punch someone
Seduce hats - steal hats, ???, profit
#314 to #114 - saladtongsofdeath (09/10/2012) [-]
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**saladtongsofdeath rolled a random image posted in comment #16 at Draw Pikachu's face! ** how about triggering super slowmo right before you hit the pavement once you jump off building/airplane
User avatar #384 to #114 - gangjaman (09/11/2012) [-]
slow mo:

>make a sign asking for money
>eventually work your way up a building
>jump
>slowly but surely people will surround you
>see your sign
????????????
profit
#127 to #114 - pickledwolf (09/10/2012) [-]
75% is less than 100%, you'd be pulled towards the ground
User avatar #190 to #127 - kallebanan (09/10/2012) [-]
As opposed to everyday life when you aren't? You would just be lighter so you could jump higher.
#194 to #190 - pickledwolf (09/10/2012) [-]
It would need to be 125% for what you're thinking of surely because if you have less levitation than usual you'll be heavier?
User avatar #202 to #194 - kallebanan (09/10/2012) [-]
Think about it. Right now you experience negative acceleration due to gravity at -10ms^-2, taking the vector to be positive as you go up (which is arbitrary). Levitation would counteract gravity hence full levitation would be greater than of equal to the force of gravity in the opposite direction. If gravity is counteracted by 75% you are lightened by a factor of 0.75, that is you will weigh a quarter of what you actually weigh.
#208 to #202 - pickledwolf (09/10/2012) [-]
But your natural levitation is 100%? so less than that would pull you closer to the ground, you'll be 25% heavier not 75% lighter?
User avatar #209 to #208 - kallebanan (09/10/2012) [-]
Dude we dont levitate irl. We are at 0% levitation right now.
#212 to #209 - pickledwolf (09/10/2012) [-]
Iamnotacleverman.jpg
User avatar #217 to #212 - kallebanan (09/10/2012) [-]
Nor am I, thumbed you up because no one should be thumbed down for making a mistake.
#220 to #217 - pickledwolf (09/10/2012) [-]
Thanks, I'm kinda tired and didn't really think about it logically.
#398 to #397 - pickledwolf (09/12/2012) [-]
Thankyou
User avatar #112 - nickninjanizzle ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
i dont know about you but invisibility in the dark would be awesome. panties, panties everywhere!
#327 - kaepora (09/10/2012) [-]
Reasons why these are wrong
Acid tears: Collect your tears for a while, boom you got acid. Seems pretty nice to me.
Invisibility in the dark: Well it'd be great for a thief to be invisible, especially at night. People would be all freaked out cuz it's dark anyways. Bomb ass **** .
Control remote control: Never have to get off the couch again. EVER.
Communicate with fruit: You could ask if they're ripe. Never eat a nasty fruit again.
Revive bugs: You'd be the king of all of Asia/Australia (monster bugs there)
1 Second super strength: Your punches would wreck people, I mean hell there are thousands of situations where a second of super strength would be great.
#351 to #327 - graceman (09/10/2012) [-]
How would you collect the acid
+3
#333 to #327 - grimwolf **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #41 - randomnab (09/10/2012) [-]
1 second super strength.

Punch the **** out of everyone.
#219 - pretzelz (09/10/2012) [-]
invisibility in the dark you can become the ultimate ninja
User avatar #223 to #219 - evilanakie ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
* *****
#225 to #223 - pretzelz (09/10/2012) [-]
why do i want to be a black guy?
User avatar #227 to #225 - evilanakie ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
invisible in the dark
#230 to #227 - pretzelz (09/10/2012) [-]
black people already have that, why cant white people too?
User avatar #232 to #230 - evilanakie ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
we can hide in the snow
User avatar #236 to #232 - pretzelz (09/10/2012) [-]
im not that white. wouldnt that be albino people though?
User avatar #240 to #236 - evilanakie ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
well you spend your time on the internet instead of getting a cancerous tan so you prob could
#243 to #240 - pretzelz (09/10/2012) [-]
you got me there
User avatar #245 to #243 - evilanakie ONLINE (09/10/2012) [-]
titty sprinkles
#354 - thedarkestrogue (09/10/2012) [-]
Best superpower ever.
+9
#216 - prestigepaperz **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #26 - ultimateiceman (09/10/2012) [-]
Are you kidding me? invisibility in the dark would be great, you could be a super thief.
#344 - GeorgeBush (09/10/2012) [-]
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The ability to sweat gravy.
The ability to tunnel exceptionally quickly through custard.
The ability to jump great distances, but not be able to survive the landing.
The ability to turn into a stone... once.
The ability to, as a man, give really great blowjobs.
The ability to turn black in a 20 foot proximity to cops.
The ability to change the color of your internal organs non-selectively.
The ability to drown in 1 inch of water.
+6
#356 to #344 - tvfreakuk has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #371 to #356 - demandsgayversion (09/10/2012) [-]
I think I actually have that super power >_>
#271 - ogomer (09/10/2012) [-]
Dude.... the revive bug one, is not useless. Just imagine. You go into the woods and kill a crapton of bugs. Then you put them in different places inside of someone you don't likes house, like beneath sofa pillows and such. Then, when they get home, revive ALL the bugs at the same time. Imagine their faces when their walls and floors are crawling with hundreds of insects.
User avatar #241 - generaljosh (09/10/2012) [-]
75% levitation would be incredibly badass, if it makes it so you only switch between weighing 25% your weight and back again. You could jump 4 times as high, or dodge attacks at 4 times your normal speed. You could throw a punch at 4 times the normal acceleration, then switch your arm to its full weight, and be able to punch with 16 times as much force.
User avatar #350 - jothz (09/10/2012) [-]
The ability to move three small pebbles 1 inch at midnight on june 26, 2025
User avatar #105 - mynameisnotmike (09/10/2012) [-]
Jump off building with super slowmo? Not useless.
#34 - EMAILisOPTIONAL (09/10/2012) [-]
yeah but join all together
yeah but join all together
#226 - vindicted (09/10/2012) [-]
Get revive bugs power
summon Arthropleura from a fossil
???
profit

its the giant centipede
#156 - John Cena (09/10/2012) [-]
invisibility in the dark - At least I won't be eaten by Lions
Control remote control - Remote too far away? No problem!
Trash Detection - Hey, I won't say no to a free half eaten hotdog
75% levitation - Less friction burn when sliding along the ground
Bullet attraction - Stand behind a wall, protect your allies
Read your own mind - I don't even know what the **** goes on in there
Instant hairloss - Instant disguise
Abnormal Armhair growth - Wolverine, **** yeah!
Revive bugs - I feel bad when I accidently kill them :(
1 second super-strength - Knock out punch anyone I like
User avatar #324 - Jimminycracker (09/10/2012) [-]
bullet attraction could be useful in warfare, create a vehicle completely impervious to bullets ride along inside,, infantrymen could slaughter at will without worry.
1 second super strength= the abilty to blow a ************* head in to a million pieces with a single punch.
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