Anger Management. . Anger Management When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you lust need to take it out on someone, don' t take it out on someone

Anger Management

Anger Management
When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you lust need to
take it out on someone, don' t take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don' t know, but who really deserves it!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I' d forgotten to
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear: 'Get the right t"' ing
number!', and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn' t believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn' s correct number to call her, I found that!
had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You' re an ',
and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I' d call him up and yell,
You' re an asshole!‘
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company.
I' m calling to see it you' re familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'Nol' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That' s Because you' re an
asshole!', and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited tor.
I hit the horn and yelled that I' d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot
ignored me.
I noticed a ‘For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I' d better call the BMW asshole,
I said, 'ls this the man with the black BMW for sale?‘
He said, Yes, it is.'
I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It' s a yellow ranch style house and the car' s parked right out in front.'
I asked, ‘what' s your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
I asked, 'When' s a good time to catch you, Don?‘
He said, Tm home every evening after mm.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?‘
He said, Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you' re an asshole!‘
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea...
I called asshole M.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, ‘You' re an asshole!‘ (but I didn' t hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
I said, 'Make me,'
He asked, ‘who are you?‘
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax, it' s a yellow ranch
style home and, I have a black Beemer parked in tmnt.'
He said, Tm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers.'
I said, Yeah, like I' m really scared, asshole,' and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hella, asshole.‘
He yelled, 'lfl ever Md out who you are...‘
I said, ‘You' ll what?'
He exclaimed, Tll kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well, asshole, here' s your chance. I' m coming over right
Then I hung up and immediately called the Police, saying that I lived at
34 Oratree Blvd in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.
Then I called Channel T News about the gay war going down on
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there lust in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter, and
surrounded by a news crew.
Now, I feel MUCH better!
Anger management really does work!
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Submitted: 09/01/2012
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#288 to #126 - looqa (09/02/2012) [-]
You're an asshole!

There, I didn't call you a asshole, you illiterate asshole. Happy?
#291 to #289 - looqa (09/02/2012) [-]
*an asshole

is what I meant to say.
User avatar #3 - freedomreturns ONLINE (09/01/2012) [-]
We have a classic Funnyjunk channel ya know.
#20 - thisnick (09/01/2012) [-]
>Has a BMW
>Lives on a ranch
>Doesn't have caller ID
>Cops do nothing to stop a fight on his property
#21 to #20 - anon (09/01/2012) [-]
took me a second
User avatar #22 to #20 - swittig (09/01/2012) [-]
Not on a ranch, a ranch style house
#13 - kunir (09/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#76 - lonelyboy (09/01/2012) [-]
I don't care how many times I see this post, it never stops being funny
I don't care how many times I see this post, it never stops being funny
User avatar #95 to #76 - YeYouKnoMe (09/02/2012) [-]
I agree.
User avatar #273 to #76 - captainrattrap (09/02/2012) [-]
It was one of the first posts I ever saw on this site. (black fj, anyway) Nice memory.
#5 - giadiovino (09/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#242 - littlexbamf (09/02/2012) [-]
This guy is pro.
#14 - pureoz (09/01/2012) [-]
What I was thinking of the entire time
#184 - lunasmidnight **User deleted account** (09/02/2012) [-]
I don't believe a word of it, but still epic read. ;p
I don't believe a word of it, but still epic read. ;p
#56 - theugandanhero (09/01/2012) [-]
This guy's a master troll.
User avatar #85 to #56 - deezknuts (09/02/2012) [-]
i wish i could find the asshole who makes the words we post into hyperlinks, now if I post words like gay or troll, its a link to some ******** .

i hate my computer
User avatar #62 to #56 - themastertroller ONLINE (09/01/2012) [-]
oh really?
#65 to #62 - theugandanhero (09/01/2012) [-]
Yes really.
Yes really.
#278 - sittingwhale (09/02/2012) [-]
well its new to me anyways
User avatar #276 - trigger (09/02/2012) [-]
Whenever someone missdials and calls me, I always end the convo by saying "Love you, bye"
#223 - HomerSimpson (09/02/2012) [-]
I-i can't stop laughing
I-i can't stop laughing
#244 - thekobemamba **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#243 - counteractive (09/02/2012) [-]
I remember seeing this on facebook.   
Four years ago
I remember seeing this on facebook.

Four years ago
User avatar #162 - pataratreyu (09/02/2012) [-]
for those of you saying tl;dr.... **** of quit being lazy and ******* read it... its so worth it..... XDD
#36 - matakeshi ONLINE (09/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#255 to #36 - anon (09/02/2012) [-]
Where is this from ?
User avatar #272 to #255 - points (09/02/2012) [-]
The part with the guy on the phone is from To-Do-List by BaratsAndBereta on youtube.
link: http://www.
#271 to #255 - baddies (09/02/2012) [-]
Barats and Bereta : to do list
[url deleted]
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