The devil. Its a rather good point. If I was The Devil I would manifest myself inside of a virgin, say that I am the Son of God and convince everyone that they

The devil

If I was The Devil I would manifest myself
inside of a virgin, say that I am the Son of God
and convince everyone that they can now be
forgiven for every sin Just by asking, thus
opening the floodgates for an unprecedented
and unending torrent of sin.
I would start with the uneducated and the poor.
I would impress them with some magic tricks,
teach them to pretend to eat my flesh, drink my
blood and always, ALWAYS, use MY name
when speaking to God.
I would most assuredly use my immortality
to fool them into thinking I came back from
the dead as proof of my divinity.
What better way is there to channel more
souls away from God and straight into Hell?
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Submitted: 08/29/2012
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#23 - galkawhm (08/30/2012) [-]
If I was the devil I'd put this ****** in every videogame ever.
User avatar #36 to #23 - anonpowers (08/30/2012) [-]
take him and put him into the water temple from ocarina of time. now that would be ****** up.
#46 to #23 - jiltist ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
FPS would be impossible.

Oh god can you imagine having him in your party in any FF game. where his death triggers GAME OVER? That'd be hellish.
User avatar #31 to #23 - holdup (08/30/2012) [-]
what kind of psycho are you?
#60 to #23 - kuhnyisland (08/30/2012) [-]
You wouldn't.
#25 to #23 - Alchemyst ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
#2 - anon (08/29/2012) [-]
If I was the devil I would ban thousands of users with no warning at all
#7 to #2 - anon (08/29/2012) [-]
You mean pinkie pie is actually Jesus? Because he sure as hell (pun intended) did put a warning in the Terms&Conditions of this website and pretty clearly warned people that they will get banned if they do certain things.
User avatar #8 to #7 - schnizel (08/29/2012) [-]
jesus=morning star
lucifer=the bringer of light
User avatar #94 - thesnarfalarker (08/30/2012) [-]
I would put no checkpoints in the water temple in Ocarina of Time
#194 to #151 - beerterror (08/30/2012) [-]
Douglas Adams is THE MAN.
Douglas Adams is THE MAN.
User avatar #161 to #151 - tunotoo ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, "Oh no, not again!" Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly *why* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
#81 - xtremedeath (08/30/2012) [-]
**xtremedeath rolls 99** dubs and neither exist
#108 to #81 - thekracken **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #139 to #108 - mondprinzessin ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
how can nothingness reign supreme? - _-
#143 to #139 - thekracken **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #227 to #143 - GainesWorthy (08/30/2012) [-]
Atheism isn't a religion, it's the lack of religion. So "Every other religion" is false.
#70 - sherlockbatman (08/30/2012) [-]
so what you're saying is that...
so what you're saying is that...
#131 - I Am Monkey (08/30/2012) [-]
It's a common misconception that you just have to say you're sorry. You have to repent, which is "to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent". It's about being sorry, not saying sorry.
#144 to #131 - bazda (08/30/2012) [-]
Good point. That insight doesn't line up with the picture of Butthead, but it added lulz, so I thumbed you up anyway.
User avatar #10 - Vandeekree ONLINE (08/29/2012) [-]
Not sure it was said for the right reasons but I like it. I think he's saying "question everything and take care in what you choose to believe"
#18 - JSTNBEIBER ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
My ex claimed I would be a satanist if I prayed for Satan and almost broke up with me for asking why not. She was quite the crazy bitch.
#66 to #18 - anon (08/30/2012) [-]
There is only one salvation for you: take yourself up, and make yourself responsible for all the sins of men. For indeed it is so, my friend, and the moment you make yourself sincerely responsible for everything and everyone, you will see at once that it is really so, that it is you who are guilty on behalf of all and for all. Whereas by shifting your own laziness and powerlessness onto others, you will end by sharing in Satan's pride and murmuring against God.
User avatar #26 to #18 - dunkleosteus (08/30/2012) [-]
It took me three passes to realize it didn't say "exclaimed"
#147 - antiherojoshua (08/30/2012) [-]
If Odin isn't real how come the there are no frost giants in Valhalla?

#156 to #147 - thisisdj (08/30/2012) [-]
Very much related.
User avatar #169 to #156 - pickingAnameSUCKS (08/30/2012) [-]
... Quite frankly, I would like to see an ice giant because that would be cool as **** .
#186 to #169 - schmitty (08/30/2012) [-]
MFW this thread
#77 - pepemex (08/30/2012) [-]
My reaction
#88 - masterchiefawesome ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
I'm too tired for this thinking 			****		 OP!
I'm too tired for this thinking **** OP!
#71 - ramie (08/30/2012) [-]
Mind blown.
Mind blown.
#74 to #71 - anon (08/30/2012) [-]
Ya blew it
#90 to #71 - skeeder (08/30/2012) [-]
User avatar #97 to #90 - cullenatorguy (08/30/2012) [-]
I'm downvoting you because that gif hurt my eyes. feel free to do the same to me
User avatar #35 - OldSnake ONLINE (08/30/2012) [-]
This sounds like the plot of a Hollywood villain.

Only, it's actually kinda badass.
#162 - antiherojoshua (08/30/2012) [-]
Your move Christians!
User avatar #138 - severepwner (08/30/2012) [-]
I've heard a lot of misinterpreted things in my time, and that was probably the most misinterpreted thing I have ever read in my entire life.
I also have a lot of red thumbs to my right.
#145 to #138 - arbie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #148 to #145 - severepwner (08/30/2012) [-]
I...I didn't expect people to agree with me. This is unusual.
#149 to #148 - arbie **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#146 to #138 - presentdent (08/30/2012) [-]
Bitch you lied! I only see green!
#114 - TARDIS (08/30/2012) [-]
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