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Home x All Categories > Family St Relationships e Singles St Dating e Undecided Question
Undecided Question Show he another at
10 Rules For Dating My Daughter "i?
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and how you' d better he delivering a package, because
you' re sure not picking anything LIP.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do
not peer at anything heloo her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my
daughter' s hwy. I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable tor how of your age to wear their trousers
so loosely that they appear to he falling off their hips. Please don' t take this as an
insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to he fair and
open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door
with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too hig, and I will not object.
However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not in tact,
come off during the course of your date with my daughter. I will take my electric nail
gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I' m sure you' been told that in today' s world, sex without utilising a "harrier method"
of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the hauler. and
I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk
about sports, politics, and other issues of the day- Please do not do this. The only
information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter
safely hack at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:
I have no douht you are a popular fellow. with many opportunities to date other girls.
This is tine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter- Otherwise, once you have
gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one hut her until she is finished
with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an
hour goes by, do not sigh and willget If you want to he on time for the movie, you
should not he dating- My daughter is putting on her makeup. a process that can take
longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge- Instead of just standing there, why don' t
you do something useful. like changing the oil in my car"?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where
there are hem, sofas. or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are
no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places
where there is dancing. holding hands. or happiness. Places where the ambient
temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-
shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - awed up
to her throat- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to he avoided: movies
which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Did folks homes are
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to he a ). halting, ,
But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the , merciless god of
your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance
to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing hut the truth. I have a shotgun, a
shovel, and tive acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in
the driveway tor a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent
Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I
wait for you to haing my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you
should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password.
announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early,
then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The
face at the window is mine.
I month ago (Tiebreaker) F
Views: 37405 Submitted: 08/28/2012
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> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
User avatar #14 - hallazabassist
Reply +98 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
I would date his daughter, follow all the rules, befriend her dad, then end up spending more time with her dad than her because she has such an awesome dad.
User avatar #43 to #14 - stoffanator
Reply +44 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
please look at rule 5 before thinking of that plan
#53 - sirizenhime
Reply +95 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
"places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness"
User avatar #71 - pedomegler
Reply +92 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
if/when i have a daughter these are the rules.
1. dont be a dick
2. dont dress like a dick
3. dont have a dick
damn straight, my girl is going to be a lesbian and she is damn well going to like it.
#81 to #71 - hatermrtroll
Reply -4 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
**hatermrtroll rolled a random image posted in comment #376 at I can't think of a title :P ** <--- who your daughter will be
**hatermrtroll rolled a random image posted in comment #376 at I can't think of a title :P ** <--- who your daughter will be
#87 to #71 - zzjames
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
#63 - localcatbarber
Reply +43 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
Read it in this guys voice.
User avatar #66 to #63 - mokropsyable
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
**** me too:D makes it even more badass
#70 to #63 - bigredtomato
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
I somehow automaticlly did that..
User avatar #72 to #70 - localcatbarber
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
Ahhh, realized now how badly written that comment was. I meant to say that I did read it in his voice, I'm not ordering anybody to do anything. I'll shut up now.
#160 - anteros
Reply +36 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
I'm not gonna let my daughter endanger herself by dating. If she needs dick, she can get it from me.
#162 to #160 - smellmyfaceforswag
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
dear god i read it in his voice pefectly D:
#18 - pooispancake
Reply +27 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
same dad?
User avatar #48 to #18 - Crusader
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
From what I know about that, that **** was completely within reason, if the daughter wanted to pull that ****, the father has every right to destroy something that he payed for, and that he is willing to consistently put money into
#223 - electromuffin
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
Boyfriends face when
Boyfriends face when
User avatar #1 - redwolfradolf
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(08/28/2012) [-]
Give this man a medal.
#23 to #1 - wigglezxd
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
No no no no!   
Give this man MANY medals!
No no no no!
Give this man MANY medals!
User avatar #32 - xyseven
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
Overly attached girlfriend's father
#24 - zooki
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
my girlfriends dad was alot like this when i first started dating his daughter. after week one he was inviting me in for a beer and has offered to take me on fishing trips with him. sometimes they say stuff like that too see if you are man enough for their daughter
#118 to #24 - eyeballs
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
Or you know... he has decided to kill you in one of those fishing trips and doesn't want anybody to get suspicious
#282 to #118 - zooki
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
i have been invited to go hunting...
#309 to #282 - anon id: f63890a2
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(08/29/2012) [-]
"It was an accident, I did NOT, srsly not try to shoot him in the balls!"