Funny Chuck Norris Jokes
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50 Facts about Chuck Norris
When an epidsode of Walker, Texas Ranger
aired in France, the French surrendered to
Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’ s potato chip.
Chuck Norris never hides, he only seeks.
Chuck Norris is so smart; Stephen Hawking stood up to
bow down to him.
Chuck Norris eats pencils and markers for breakfast,
and he shits out masterpieces.
Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur.
Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’ s house
is a Total Gym
Chuck Norris once boned the Mona Lisa,
which is why she smiles
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped
at Hiroshima and Nagasaki
Chuck Norris’ s dog is trained to pick up it' s own poop,
because Chuck Norris takes shit from no one
The role of Alf, from the hit eighties TV show
of the same name, was actually played by
Chuck Norris‘ s penis.
Chuck Norris would hit that.
Chuck Norris just pissed your pants.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
Chuck Norris can make the Kessel Run in less than ten
Chuck Norris’ s tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried
Chuck Norris has a Wrangler belt in Karate.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris eats coal and shits diamonds.
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubiks Cube
and shit it out solved.
Chuck Norris eats babies and
shits Delta Force team members.
Chuck Norris trims his beard with a dull bayonet.
It never rains on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris isn’ t Cal, but he beats him at golf.
Every cell in Chuck Norris’ s body has its own beard.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world
and punch himself in the back of the head,
Chuck Norris is the reason bad things
happen to good people.
Rainbows are what happens when Chuck Norris
roundhouse kicks Richard Simmons
Chuck Norris once leaned against a
tower in Pisa, Italy.
Chuck Norris refers to himself in the tth person.
Chuck Norris’ s blood type is D. O. A.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris drives a pickup truck upholstered in Denim.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris’ s beard has a representative in congress
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Bruce Lee, breaking
him in half. The result was Jet Li and Jackie Chan.
The symbol for Chuck Norris in sign language
is a middle finger on fire.
Jesus owns and wears a bracelet
that says "?"
The quickest way to a man' s heart is with
Chuck Norris’ s fist
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Medusa.
The Virgin Mary saw Chuck Norris in
her grilled cheese sandwich.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night,
he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
When Chuck Norris’ s shit hits the fan,
the fan breaks.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can turn off the light
and be under the covers before it' s dark.
Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at
Burger King and got one.
The only thing Chuck Norris ever lost was his virginity.
If you stare at the American flag long enough,
a TD image of Chuck Norris pops up.
I didn' t invent these, they' re taken from the book
The Truth About Chuck Norris" try Ian hector.