Likelihood. of getting killed by a shark is slim. also inb4 deer.. I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning
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Likelihood

of getting killed by a shark is slim.

also inb4 deer*

+3897
Views: 77533
Favorited: 330
Submitted: 08/12/2012
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Comments(793):

[ 793 comments ]

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#6 - givehimthemulk (08/12/2012) [+] (21 replies)
I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning storm until I lose a few pounds.
I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning storm until I lose a few pounds.
User avatar #56 - slimtheshady (08/12/2012) [+] (7 replies)
"I can't eat that wounded shipwreck survivor struggling in the water, we've already killed five humans this year." thought no shark ever.
#83 - darkilark (08/12/2012) [-]
It's the dolphins you have to watch out for.
User avatar #95 - winsauceiswin ONLINE (08/12/2012) [+] (2 replies)
i was so sure this was going to end with "weed 0 deaths per year"
#45 - halfdemon (08/12/2012) [-]
sharks are pretty cuddly, Putin gets it
User avatar #175 - thenoluk (08/12/2012) [+] (2 replies)
> Hotdogs - 80 kids dead / year

the officers misunderstood when i said they all choked on my wiener.
#401 - joshlols (08/12/2012) [-]
>Deers   
>ers   
>rs   
>s
>Deers
>ers
>rs
>s
#617 - phoenixice (08/13/2012) [-]
looks like the likelihood of dying from obesity...   
   
...is not very slim
looks like the likelihood of dying from obesity...

...is not very slim
#412 - bigdogmt (08/12/2012) [-]
"deers"
+20
#383 - boogaa **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (3 replies)
-23
#635 - masterknight has deleted their comment [+] (8 replies)
User avatar #637 to #635 - littlenish (08/13/2012) [-]
We know you smoke weed, you dont need to blow it in our faces.
#627 - xxxsonic fanxxx (08/13/2012) [-]
what have you done to me fj...
User avatar #58 - psydoc (08/12/2012) [-]
87% of stats on the internet are made up on the spot.
#120 - wellplayed (08/12/2012) [+] (10 replies)
You forgot pot. 0 deaths ever.
User avatar #121 to #120 - buttertoastt (08/12/2012) [-]
Wrong. My friend took 6 Marijuanas and he overdosed and died, while my other friend got aids from sharing Marijuana Needles.
User avatar #795 - theonetruespitfire (08/13/2012) [+] (3 replies)
le #YOLO

XDDD


UMAD?!?!?
#472 - jorn (08/12/2012) [+] (12 replies)
WEED 0 DEATHS A YEAR
User avatar #478 to #472 - saxophan (08/12/2012) [-]
0 DIRECT deaths per year.
User avatar #148 - thatevanguy (08/12/2012) [-]
How do you get killed by a soda macine?

Does it fall on you or something? If so...could my similarly sized fridge do the same thing?

I'm scared for my life now...
#65 - Sdgnuipaegr (08/12/2012) [+] (6 replies)
0 deaths/ annually
User avatar #68 to #65 - wabasha (08/12/2012) [-]
I'm not here to be the fun police, but it can produce lung disease.... and... that means.... death.
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