Likelihood. of getting killed by a shark is slim. also inb4 deer.. I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning
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Comments(793):

[ 793 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #56 - slimtheshady (08/12/2012) [-]
"I can't eat that wounded shipwreck survivor struggling in the water, we've already killed five humans this year." thought no shark ever.
User avatar #843 to #56 - slimtheshady (08/13/2012) [-]
Holy **** when did all these thumbs happen.
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#279 to #56 - roarflmao has deleted their comment [-]
#299 to #279 - John Cena (08/12/2012) [-]
-thought no shark ever
-2
#305 to #299 - roarflmao has deleted their comment [-]
#326 to #305 - John Cena (08/12/2012) [-]
The bull shark has a testosterone count of about 900, that's around three times what a human's is. I don't think they honestly care how something tastes enough not to kill it.
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#331 to #326 - roarflmao has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #397 to #279 - amusingtoaster (08/12/2012) [-]
Sharks dont think "Oh, it's a human. I cant eat that. It may taste bad and the toxic particles in its body may harm me D:" Im pretty sure its more like "CEMMRE YOU FLESHY ********* ."
#6 - givehimthemulk (08/12/2012) [-]
I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning storm until I lose a few pounds.
I guess I should postpone my plans of masturbating with a belt around my neck while I have phone sex while riding a hippo on top of a volcano during a lightning storm until I lose a few pounds.
User avatar #570 to #6 - lepokerface (08/13/2012) [-]
I'm curious, why do people strangle themselves during masturbation?
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#842 to #570 - tophatcigar **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
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#674 to #570 - divide **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #846 to #674 - orgasm (08/13/2012) [-]
Aww **** now I'm brought up to the conversation
User avatar #854 to #846 - fedegon (08/13/2012) [-]
At least you aren`t User.
+2
#847 to #6 - givehimthemulk has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #852 to #847 - fedegon (08/13/2012) [-]
Muffin button.
#230 to #6 - Ryu ONLINE (08/12/2012) [-]
#244 to #230 - lorentz (08/12/2012) [-]
but I see no masturbation..
#488 to #464 - lorentz (08/12/2012) [-]
Glorious..
User avatar #633 to #464 - trolltyler (08/13/2012) [-]
It will be amazing when somebody rolls this.
-5
#483 to #464 - acarrot has deleted their comment [-]
#817 to #464 - bearsixteen (08/13/2012) [-]
this has to be the single greatest thing ive seen on this website thank you
#754 to #464 - xtwinblade (08/13/2012) [-]
**xtwinblade rolled a random image posted in comment #572 at Typicall **
#254 to #244 - Ryu ONLINE (08/12/2012) [-]
He said he was postponing those plans good fellow.
User avatar #831 to #244 - retardfridge (08/13/2012) [-]
It's all mental
User avatar #865 to #230 - demonmaster (08/13/2012) [-]
Why is he wearing a belt while one is around his neck...
#83 - darkilark (08/12/2012) [-]
It's the dolphins you have to watch out for.
#401 - joshlols (08/12/2012) [-]
>Deers   
>ers   
>rs   
>s
>Deers
>ers
>rs
>s
User avatar #175 - thenoluk (08/12/2012) [-]
> Hotdogs - 80 kids dead / year

the officers misunderstood when i said they all choked on my wiener.
User avatar #866 to #820 - thenoluk (08/13/2012) [-]
Kiddies can't handle my meat.
#45 - halfdemon (08/12/2012) [-]
sharks are pretty cuddly, Putin gets it
#617 - phoenixice (08/13/2012) [-]
looks like the likelihood of dying from obesity...   
   
...is not very slim
looks like the likelihood of dying from obesity...

...is not very slim
User avatar #95 - winsauceiswin (08/12/2012) [-]
i was so sure this was going to end with "weed 0 deaths per year"
#676 to #95 - John Cena (08/13/2012) [-]
or AIDS 0 deaths per year
User avatar #100 to #95 - Awesomecarrot (08/12/2012) [-]
Same here
+20
#383 - boogaa **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#392 to #383 - John Cena (08/12/2012) [-]
This ******* guy.
#402 to #383 - John Cena (08/12/2012) [-]
i think it caused way more.
#627 - John Cena (08/13/2012) [-]
what have you done to me fj...
User avatar #148 - thatevanguy (08/12/2012) [-]
How do you get killed by a soda macine?

Does it fall on you or something? If so...could my similarly sized fridge do the same thing?

I'm scared for my life now...
#448 - John Cena (08/12/2012) [-]
Shaq
10 deaths a year.
#792 - bizzarenight (08/13/2012) [-]
**bizzarenight rolled a random image posted in comment #275034 at FJ Pony Thread 14 ** what kills me..
#412 - bigdogmt (08/12/2012) [-]
"deers"
#647 - JENNAY (08/13/2012) [-]
HAPPY SHARK WEEK, FUNNYJUNK
#366 - hakusprite **User deleted account** (08/12/2012) [-]
I want a 			*******		 hot dog now.
I want a ******* hot dog now.
User avatar #375 to #366 - derpmageddon (08/12/2012) [-]
DON'T DO IT! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!
#381 to #375 - hakusprite **User deleted account** (08/12/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#510 - RipperMan (08/12/2012) [-]
sharks reaction to this post
#320 - ColeTheUber ONLINE (08/12/2012) [-]
I am so glad that "kids" was specified here.
User avatar #58 - psydoc (08/12/2012) [-]
87% of stats on the internet are made up on the spot.
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