Anger Management. Thanks guys for front page! i thought i'd get lost in the abyss<br /> Top 15!! thankyou for the thumbs guys.<br /> Sorry that its  anger management

Anger Management

Anger Management. Thanks guys for front page! i thought i'd get lost in the abyss<br /> Top 15!! thankyou for the thumbs guys.<br /> Sorry that its

Thanks guys for front page! i thought i'd get lost in the abyss<br />
Top 15!! thankyou for the thumbs guys.<br />
Sorry that its a repost, but hey, its still funny right?

Anger Management
When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you lust need to
take it out on someone, don' t take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don' t know, but who really deserves it!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I' d forgotten to
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear: 'Get the right t"' ing
number!', and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn' t believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn' s correct number to call her, I found that!
had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You' re an ',
and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I' d call him up and yell,
You' re an asshole!‘
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company.
I' m calling to see it you' re familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'Nol' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That' s Because you' re an
asshole!', and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited tor.
I hit the horn and yelled that I' d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot
ignored me.
I noticed a ‘For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I' d better call the BMW asshole,
I said, 'ls this the man with the black BMW for sale?‘
He said, Yes, it is.'
I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It' s a yellow ranch style house and the car' s parked right out in front.'
I asked, ‘what' s your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
I asked, 'When' s a good time to catch you, Don?‘
He said, Tm home every evening after mm.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?‘
He said, Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you' re an asshole!‘
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea...
I called asshole M.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, ‘You' re an asshole!‘ (but I didn' t hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
I said, 'Make me,'
He asked, ‘who are you?‘
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax, it' s a yellow ranch
style home and, I have a black Beemer parked in tmnt.'
He said, Tm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers.'
I said, Yeah, like I' m really scared, asshole,' and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hella, asshole.‘
He yelled, 'lfl ever Md out who you are...‘
I said, ‘You' ll what?'
He exclaimed, Tll kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well, asshole, here' s your chance. I' m coming over right
Then I hung up and immediately called the Police, saying that I lived at
34 Oratree Blvd in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.
Then I called Channel T News about the gay war going down on
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there lust in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter, and
surrounded by a news crew.
Now, I feel MUCH better!
Anger management really does work!
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Views: 51600
Favorited: 342
Submitted: 05/04/2010
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #388 - blardyhail (05/05/2010) [-]
epic stories like this deserve to be immortalized through reposts...
#4 - ugotboned (05/04/2010) [-]
Sir, i'm not sure if you are a gardener or not, but you got a green thumb.
User avatar #16 to #4 - MoonOnAMish (05/04/2010) [-]
my hand is sweating i facepalmed that much...
User avatar #6 to #4 - futuramafan (05/04/2010) [-]
User avatar #9 to #6 - NightmareAPL (05/04/2010) [-]
User avatar #11 to #9 - notChrisHansen (05/04/2010) [-]
*double facepalm*
#12 to #11 - anon (05/04/2010) [-]
*triple facepalm*
User avatar #15 to #12 - tavoxman (05/04/2010) [-]
*return of the facepalm*
User avatar #75 to #15 - Bosnia (05/04/2010) [-]
*Story of the traveling facepalms*
User avatar #138 to #75 - Denmark (05/04/2010) [-]
*One Facepalm to Rule Them All*
#220 to #138 - anon (05/04/2010) [-]
*Horton hears a facepalm*
User avatar #365 to #220 - Baer (05/05/2010) [-]
*is it the end of the facepalms?*
#19 to #15 - SuperSpecialAwsome (05/04/2010) [-]
User avatar #175 to #19 - clydefrogg (05/04/2010) [-]
#58 to #6 - hellosarahx15 **User deleted account** (05/04/2010) [-]
"Green thumb" meaning he thumbed the pic up.
User avatar #434 to #58 - PizzaOMGZ (05/05/2010) [-]
perfect timing
User avatar #85 to #6 - futuramafan (05/04/2010) [-]
What the **** is wrong with you ********* ? I do get it, it's just sarcasm. FJ members are as slow as hell.
User avatar #97 to #85 - lmaopwnt (05/04/2010) [-]
sarcasm is kinda hard to do when reading unless its completely obvious, u werent >.< (i thumbed u bck up just so u kno)
User avatar #13 - CreativeUsername (05/04/2010) [-]
best rerererererepost ever!
User avatar #372 - TheLolinator (05/05/2010) [-]
wow....its funny cos i heard the exact same story about 5 or 6 years ago exept the way you found the first asshole was different, good work with copying someone elses idea and posting it as your own. UR AN ASSHOLE /hangs up.
User avatar #343 - Doctor (05/05/2010) [-]
The designer needs to add a clock rating, I would spam that as much as possible for this because of how ancient this is.
This resided when dinosaurs roamed the earth and project-chanalogy wasn't slumbering
User avatar #17 - dontya (05/04/2010) [-]
User avatar #320 - MOTHERFKINGMOO (05/05/2010) [-]
This was funny. 3 years ago. When someone made this up.

But now it's been reposted literally hundreds of times. I'm not even kidding, I've seen it HUNDREDS of times.
User avatar #326 to #320 - Zedonius (05/05/2010) [-]
I honestly couldn't believe I was reading the same joke from when I was like 14. And it's #3??
#327 to #326 - moteko (05/05/2010) [-]
AGREED. i find it funny, but i dont think i want to keep laughing at the same stuff over... and over again
User avatar #328 to #327 - Zedonius (05/05/2010) [-]
It's like having sex with the same girl every night for 2 months straight, or finding a good porn and spanking to it for a week on end. It loses its spark really quick.
User avatar #340 to #328 - kadabra (05/05/2010) [-]
i wouldn't mind ******* the same girl 2 months straight :) probs coz i 13 and pretty much a horn bag
User avatar #344 to #340 - Zedonius (05/05/2010) [-]
Trust me, sexing a chick is like going to most foreign countries; nice to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there.
User avatar #127 - I Am Monkey (05/04/2010) [-]
#366 - effekt (05/05/2010) [-]
My anger management class pisses me off.
#297 - anon (05/04/2010) [-]
Sir, i'm not sure if you are a gardener or not, but you got a green thumb.
User avatar #7 - malignantlybenign (05/04/2010) [-]
thats an old email but its ******* funny everytime i see it one green thumb for you sir possible gardener
User avatar #208 - Ches (05/04/2010) [-]
funny the first time i saw it...not so much now when you know the ending
User avatar #64 - ThatRussianGuy (05/04/2010) [-]
step 1: repost a picture for the 5th time
step 2: get front page with it
step 3: give zero credit to original author
step 4: thumb down or delete this comment
step 5: ???
step 6: prfit!
User avatar #95 to #64 - Zlurpo (05/04/2010) [-]
Technically, I doubt anyone knows the original author of this anymore. I think it first came to life when email forwarding was invented.

But you're right. This is too much reward for zero effort.
#429 - MamaNENA (05/05/2010) [-]
Funny! Yah it's a ol 1 but its still funny!
#421 - EpicEmoKitteh **User deleted account** (05/05/2010) [-]
Ohh reposting but still funny!
User avatar #385 - akokulit (05/05/2010) [-]
RE-... I guess I don't have to say that because this is ******* hilarious!
User avatar #333 - oneeyedirishman (05/05/2010) [-]
Funny. Old as dirt.
User avatar #94 - spooooon (05/04/2010) [-]
You are made of win
User avatar #59 - Iceblade (05/04/2010) [-]
Ok this picture has been reposted and has gotten to the front page at least 2 times. I might as well wait like 2 months and post this exact thing and some oblivious people will send me right to the top
#72 to #59 - DrVolcano (05/04/2010) [-]
thats the idea, atleast nowadays
User avatar #28 - RoboticEyebrow (05/04/2010) [-]
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