Anger Management. Thanks guys for front page! i thought i'd get lost in the abyss<br /> Top 15!! thankyou for the thumbs guys.<br /> Sorry that its  anger management
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Anger Management

Anger Management. Thanks guys for front page! i thought i'd get lost in the abyss<br /> Top 15!! thankyou for the thumbs guys.<br /> Sorry that its

Thanks guys for front page! i thought i'd get lost in the abyss<br />
Top 15!! thankyou for the thumbs guys.<br />
Sorry that its a repost, but hey, its still funny right?

Anger Management
When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you lust need to
take it out on someone, don' t take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don' t know, but who really deserves it!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I' d forgotten to
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear: 'Get the right t"' ing
number!', and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn' t believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn' s correct number to call her, I found that!
had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You' re an ',
and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I' d call him up and yell,
You' re an asshole!‘
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company.
I' m calling to see it you' re familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'Nol' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That' s Because you' re an
asshole!', and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited tor.
I hit the horn and yelled that I' d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot
ignored me.
I noticed a ‘For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I' d better call the BMW asshole,
I said, 'ls this the man with the black BMW for sale?‘
He said, Yes, it is.'
I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It' s a yellow ranch style house and the car' s parked right out in front.'
I asked, ‘what' s your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
I asked, 'When' s a good time to catch you, Don?‘
He said, Tm home every evening after mm.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?‘
He said, Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you' re an asshole!‘
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea...
I called asshole M.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, ‘You' re an asshole!‘ (but I didn' t hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
I said, 'Make me,'
He asked, ‘who are you?‘
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax, it' s a yellow ranch
style home and, I have a black Beemer parked in tmnt.'
He said, Tm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers.'
I said, Yeah, like I' m really scared, asshole,' and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hella, asshole.‘
He yelled, 'lfl ever Md out who you are...‘
I said, ‘You' ll what?'
He exclaimed, Tll kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well, asshole, here' s your chance. I' m coming over right
Then I hung up and immediately called the Police, saying that I lived at
34 Oratree Blvd in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.
Then I called Channel T News about the gay war going down on
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there lust in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter, and
surrounded by a news crew.
Now, I feel MUCH better!
Anger management really does work!
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Views: 51587
Favorited: 342
Submitted: 05/04/2010
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#4 - ugotboned (05/04/2010) [+] (16 replies)
Sir, i'm not sure if you are a gardener or not, but you got a green thumb.
User avatar #388 - blardyhail (05/05/2010) [-]
epic stories like this deserve to be immortalized through reposts...
User avatar #64 - ThatRussianGuy (05/04/2010) [+] (1 reply)
step 1: repost a picture for the 5th time
step 2: get front page with it
step 3: give zero credit to original author
step 4: thumb down or delete this comment
step 5: ???
step 6: prfit!
User avatar #13 - CreativeUsername (05/04/2010) [-]
best rerererererepost ever!
User avatar #372 - TheLolinator (05/05/2010) [-]
wow....its funny cos i heard the exact same story about 5 or 6 years ago exept the way you found the first asshole was different, good work with copying someone elses idea and posting it as your own. UR AN ASSHOLE /hangs up.
User avatar #343 - Doctor (05/05/2010) [-]
The designer needs to add a clock rating, I would spam that as much as possible for this because of how ancient this is.
This resided when dinosaurs roamed the earth and project-chanalogy wasn't slumbering
User avatar #208 - Ches (05/04/2010) [-]
funny the first time i saw it...not so much now when you know the ending
User avatar #17 - dontya (05/04/2010) [-]
User avatar #320 - MOTHERFKINGMOO (05/05/2010) [+] (5 replies)
This was funny. 3 years ago. When someone made this up.

But now it's been reposted literally hundreds of times. I'm not even kidding, I've seen it HUNDREDS of times.
User avatar #127 - I Am Monkey (05/04/2010) [-]
User avatar #34 - loneman (05/04/2010) [+] (6 replies)
******* epic ownage. why the hell isnt this on the front page?!?!?!?!
User avatar #35 to #34 - TheAdolfHitler (05/04/2010) [-]
It is a repost.
That is the explanation.
#359 - fefe (05/05/2010) [+] (2 replies)
This is a repost, I saw the same story months ago.
User avatar #360 to #359 - spidermartin (05/05/2010) [-]
you're right. because YOU saw it months ago, it can't be funny to anyone.

User avatar #351 - smasterofpuppets (05/05/2010) [+] (1 reply)
ive seen this many many times. funny, but would never work in real life.
#366 - effekt (05/05/2010) [-]
My anger management class pisses me off.
#90 - WONDERWAFFLE (05/04/2010) [-]
thats the best idea in the history of man kind
you sir deserve 1 million strips of bacon
and a new car
with a hot women inside
and a condom just incase
User avatar #88 - sorcerer (05/04/2010) [-]
Worth a million thumbs up. Every single time I see it.
User avatar #7 - malignantlybenign (05/04/2010) [-]
thats an old email but its ******* funny everytime i see it one green thumb for you sir possible gardener
User avatar #353 - SethRogen (05/05/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Anyone named John Smith or Don Hansen could sue you for this.
User avatar #358 to #353 - Some One Weird ONLINE (05/05/2010) [-]
I've seen this many times before. Considering the fact that those people don't know who actually posted it in the first place means they have nobody to sue. There is a good chance this is made up anyway.

Made up or not, IT'S FREAKIN' EPIC!!
User avatar #333 - oneeyedirishman (05/05/2010) [-]
Funny. Old as dirt.
#121 - fefe (05/04/2010) [+] (1 reply)
this has been reposted so many times that its hardly just kidding its still ******* hilarious
User avatar #124 to #121 - GoldenLotus (05/04/2010) [-]
lol this is the third time ive seen it, but i think it is still funny
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