RPG games. just found this on my computer, dunno where i had it from.. Last time I played D&D, we were receiving a quest from the king to kill a kraken or two. The wizard asks to speak to the king privately, and then permanentl stupid tags haha
x

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#15 - fernandopolis (08/07/2012) [-]
Last time I played D&D, we were receiving a quest from the king to kill a kraken or two. The wizard asks to speak to the king privately, and then permanently turns him into a toad (which he then puts in the cage with the lizard who used to be a vampire lord). Then he disguises himself as the king, and proceeds to get the queen completely smashed. Then we throw her out the window into the sea below (where she gets eaten by the kraken) and continue on to kill all the heirs. Then we loot the treasury, and on the way out, the wizard (still disguised as the king) orders a banana farm to be built in the center of the city.

This is my RPG group.
User avatar #51 to #15 - YllekNayr (08/08/2012) [-]
New channel specifically for anything D&D. Stories, pictures, comics, etc.

We need fellow members to get it started. Link if you're interested: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/dungeons-n-drags
#103 - Tyranitar ONLINE (08/08/2012) [-]
Pretty long story of mine, from about a year and a half ago. I pretty much pieced to together as well as I could recall it.

Rogue: "Oh **** , the tank left mid-boss fight"
Me: "My bear can tank a bit if you heal him"
Druid: "STFU huntard we dont need your ******* bear, your lucky you werent insta-kicked for playing huntard. I'll tank, someone heal me"

Later in the boss fight, everyones dying
Druid: "WTF where are my heals?"
Me: "Who is supposed to be healing you? The 'huntard', the rogue, or the mage?"
Druid: " **** you asshole, its your fault we died, you keep stealing my ******* aggro. Go reroll a class thats actually worth **** ."
Mage: "The reason you kept losing aggro is because your a healer druid trying to tank, and you aren't even using your taunt. His bear was actually doing better than you were."
Druid: (Don't remember what he was ranting about, just an overabundance of the words " **** you" and you a few things involving my mother and oral sex)

Then the 3 of us kicked him, and when a new tank and healer came in, we went through with no problems. My faith in MMO players was restored (until I entered end-game raiding, anyway, then pretty much everyone was like Mr. Druid)
#129 - TheCodFather (08/08/2012) [-]
when you challenge someone to a duel and you think your awesome strategy is going to win......   
   
   
they cleave you to 			****
when you challenge someone to a duel and you think your awesome strategy is going to win......


they cleave you to ****
User avatar #142 to #129 - wrought (08/08/2012) [-]
I was playing Borderlands with my friend, and the Clipper dropped after we killed 9-Toes so we decided to duel for it.
I immediately popped Berserk which gave me really strong punches that should have killed him, but somehow I lost
I cheated and I still lost
I feel stupid
User avatar #146 to #142 - TheCodFather (08/08/2012) [-]
lol my and my friend never ******* got past first getting the vehichle in Borderlands, i always went sniper, that cunt chose what ever, it was his game so he knew all the **** so he always got to the items and drops first and took the snipers and other useful **** for the Sniper....

he would also never let me in the car and tried to kill me in it
User avatar #147 to #146 - wrought (08/08/2012) [-]
XD
Borderlands is a game of cuntwads and friends
User avatar #81 to #45 - kingnarnode (08/08/2012) [-]
do you know what an rpg is?
+4
#86 to #81 - fivebecomesfour **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #83 to #45 - deliciousdee ONLINE (08/08/2012) [-]
Every. Damn. Game.
#115 to #45 - anon (08/08/2012) [-]
I play LoL but I seriously don't get this...
Help???
#119 to #115 - jinkazama (08/08/2012) [-]
You are one of them
#132 to #45 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
> Join solo in PVP
> Go pantheon
> Lane up with a Rhys
> Kill both enemies in my lane
> " ******* KS faggot"
> "omg panth stop ks"
> Explain that i'm an assassin which gets 100% crit when enemy has below 15% health
> Also Explain that he is a support mage
> "lol stupid noob, still stealing my kills"
mfw
User avatar #162 to #132 - InfernalOneShot (08/08/2012) [-]
Having fun at 800 elo?
#167 to #162 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
I have no idea what that means.
Mind explaining? I'm still kinda new to lol
User avatar #169 to #167 - InfernalOneShot (08/08/2012) [-]
ELO is a numerical ranking system where you gain points proportionately to how good the enemies are you defeat or lose points proportionately to how good the enemy team is who bested you, so the better you are, the higher your ELO is.

The following example is for chess:
"Each player has a rating, which is a number. A higher number indicates a better player, based on results against other rated players. The winner of a contest between two players gains a certain number of points in his or her rating and the losing player loses the same amount. The number of points won or lost in a contest depends on the difference in the ratings of the players, so a player will gain more points by beating a higher-rated player than by beating a lower-rated player. In chess, for instance, if one player is rated 100 points higher than the other player, they are expected to win about five games out of eight, and the rating changes reflect that. Over a series of games, if a player does better than expected, based on the ratings (compared to the opponents'), his or her rating will go up."

ELO is the way that LoL match makes, as it will try and group together people of a similar ELO. I could tell you were newish to the game (thus the comment on the ELO) because of the situation you described (Ryze support? that's ******* weird haha).

Have a nice day
#171 to #169 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
Ah. Why thank you.
800 elo is pretty damn low I assume?
User avatar #172 to #171 - InfernalOneShot (08/08/2012) [-]
It's not terrible (you can go to nothing), but once you're level 30 for a while it tends to go up quite drastically (I'm sitting at around 1380).

But I have been playing LoL for over a year though :P
#137 to #132 - dalgaard (08/08/2012) [-]
You can't be serious. Pantheon and Ryze in a lane? Ryze support mage? Wtf.
#138 to #137 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
Sorry, meant to say he was supporting me. He did little to none damage and really just trapped them in his little cage. Allowing me to kill them.   
He also laned with me. Don't know why, he should have been mid.
Sorry, meant to say he was supporting me. He did little to none damage and really just trapped them in his little cage. Allowing me to kill them.
He also laned with me. Don't know why, he should have been mid.
#141 to #138 - dalgaard (08/08/2012) [-]
Hmm, Ryze is one of the most powerful mages there is. He must have been buying ap or some other nooby **** . Still. Panth is a top lane solo or some rare times a jungler. He is not meant to lane with others, but you can create an evil combo with him. Like him and Xin. Tried a game with my friend where we just decided to have a little fun and **** **** up. He went Xin and I took Panth. He ended up with: 11/5/7 and I got 13/4/3. But we lost anyway. ******* noobs.
User avatar #148 to #141 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
I was top lane, but he decided to join me. He just leveled up the spell which bounces off enemies. Which is pretty **** at damaging.
I'm still pretty nooby at it aswell. Me and my friend, when we lane, it's either me as panth, and him as teemo/singed.
#150 to #148 - dalgaard (08/08/2012) [-]
I see. Teemo, Yi, Ashe, Tryndamere and Ryze are the most played champs of the low lvl's. I've been playing for a long time. So I guess there isnt many junglers when you play.
User avatar #154 to #150 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
Nope. I aint level 30 yet, so I'm in unranked matches.
I sometimes use shaco, but i aint good enough to jungle really.
my mains are:
Panth, Fiddlesticks or teemo
Although, I really like Viktor, since he became f2p
User avatar #160 to #154 - dalgaard (08/08/2012) [-]
I see. Shaco is a really easy jungler though. To bad he has become so useless since the nerf of his early game. I would suggest other mains. Or in fact, main in some role.

I main in tank jungling or tank top. I enjoy being the one tough ************ you cant touch. Probably Maokai, Shen, Amumu and Malph is the ones i play most. If you like playing panth and teemo i would suggest you should start maining solo top. Of course you have to have atleast one other champion for each role in the game. Dont be a faggot insta-locker kid.
#166 to #160 - Jameshaich (08/08/2012) [-]
I don't insta-lock. and I also don't have official mains.
I'm still trying out different champs, as I only own 4. and im only level 15, still kinda nooby.
User avatar #177 to #166 - dalgaard (08/08/2012) [-]
Yea. You can't really do much before lvl 30. I suggest you don't buy runes before lvl 20 or 30. Because you are just wasting IP then. I would also suggest you don't really have a main champion or 2. You may not be at your best with the champ but the fun will stick to it. I never play the same role or champ twice in a row unless I have to or if it is best for the team. I try to play as many different champions and roles as I can to keep having fun. Except support. Mainly Blitz or Soraka if someone ask for her. Most of all because I'm not a very good support.
User avatar #101 to #45 - AccWasLost (08/08/2012) [-]
Oh my god, that feel when playing on a NA server, and nobody on your team speaks english or they don't communicate.
#33 - jwinganggreen (08/08/2012) [-]
Wrong.....This is how RPG's are supposed to be played
User avatar #44 to #33 - jaknik (08/08/2012) [-]
That was the best episode of Dexter ever.
#99 - anon (08/08/2012) [-]
How my team usually goes:

guy#1: "hey guis do we have a healer?"
guy#2: "no he is a shadow priest"
guy#1: "well tell him to switch back to holy"
guy#3 (priest): "stfu baddy ill do what i want"
guy#4: "why dont u just ******* reroll a warlock?"
guy#3: " **** you, im not healing anyone. fags."
guy#1: "Jeez do we at least have a tank?"
guy#5 (tank): "Im not taking the flag if no one is healing me"
guy#1: " **** this."
*player guy#1 has left the game*
guy#2: "NOOBS... your all NOOOOOOBS"
guy#3 "no you are."
guy#4: "shut the **** up and play the game."
guy#3: "dont tell me what to do"
guy#5: "WHY IS MY CLASS SO WEAK
?"
guy#2: "cuz u rolled a tank and your not even capping the flag.. useless scrub."
guy#5: "yea well maybe if my team didnt suck so bad maybe i would try"
guy#4: " **** YOU ******* SUCK AT THIS GAME"

<-- player guy#4's reaction
User avatar #102 to #99 - ABjerre (08/08/2012) [-]
My MMO-games usually go like this:

>/login
>Open Mailbox
>Collect todays earnings and unsold items
>Autoscan auction house
>Set up auctions undercutting competition by 1 copper coin
>/logout

Nothing is happening on my server during summer.
#111 to #102 - redclover (08/08/2012) [-]
YFW
YFW
#161 - thechosentroll (08/08/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Aw come on, a little dicking around never hurt anyone. I don't see why RPGs have to be taken seriously. Ah, I still remember my troll rogue in WoW. I used macros to rename my attacks. Sap was "Roofies", Premeditate was "Foreplay", Ambush was "Surprise buttsex", Sinister strike was "Thrust" and Eviscerate was "Money Shot".


Am I mature or what?
#163 to #161 - anon (08/08/2012) [-]
That doesnt make you look as cool as you hoped it would
User avatar #164 to #163 - thechosentroll (08/08/2012) [-]
I never tried to look cool. It's just an example of how seriosly I take these games.
#39 - Visual (08/08/2012) [-]
&gt;Buy Skyrim on PC   
&gt;Console Commands myself to level 78   
&gt;Console Commands all possible perks   
&gt;Console Commands all stats past 1000   
&gt;Instantly become everyone in the first frame into one over powered character.   
   
&gt;			****		 YEAH SKYRIM
>Buy Skyrim on PC
>Console Commands myself to level 78
>Console Commands all possible perks
>Console Commands all stats past 1000
>Instantly become everyone in the first frame into one over powered character.

> **** YEAH SKYRIM
#114 to #39 - anon (08/08/2012) [-]
lol skyrim a mediocre game with a large amount of content with incredibly stupid AI a bad system for changing weapons and a world that literally never changes no matter what you do at all........so why is this game popular again?
#122 to #114 - jinkazama (08/08/2012) [-]
The opinion of tens of thousands of people > The opinion of you
#180 to #122 - Visual (08/09/2012) [-]
I think you meant either hundreds of thousands or possibly near millions
#181 to #114 - Visual (08/09/2012) [-]
Bad weapon system if you use multiple kinds of weapons, but really that's just a nit pick. The world does change socially for me with that people are like and what they say. The AI is somewhat stupid but works in a game as broad as this. The large amount of content is very welcome.

Why does your opinion suck?
User avatar #63 to #59 - isus (08/08/2012) [-]
samefag
User avatar #17 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Oh the fun I had...
DnD party with my friends. Most disfunctional group ever.
Jimmies, Human Battlemage with a beard and eyepatch, shoots fire at anything to move. (Mine)
Sjin, a dwarf whos main weapon was Barrel lids... And was effective with them. He must have had tourrets.
Rustles, the Sassy Gay Cleric.
An NPC Knight who only uses his fists. Nobody ever asked his name, so he was called Clumsy.
A Halfling Bard, possesed by a devil.
And our DM who just didn't give a **** .
User avatar #25 to #17 - potatot (08/08/2012) [-]
I like Sjin's style.
User avatar #27 to #25 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Everyones style was interesting...
Jimmies didn't like talking, and was probably the most evil out of the group. "Oh **** it, horses cost to much. FIREBALL TO THE FACE."
Clumsy rolled a triple-crit on a fist attack, an instant killed a boss enemy. Right in the god damned ovaries.
Rustle was the only smart person in the whole group... But missing out on one session made him the sassy gay cleric, who thinks hes a fighter.
User avatar #48 to #17 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Hour 4. Nobody has noticed the shenanigans going on in the names.
#64 to #17 - kindawittyguy (08/08/2012) [-]
Hah, it's great to know that I'm not the only one with a dysfunctional D&D group.

Spruce Springsteen, Elven Ranger, XP whore, combat crazed
Puff the Magic Dragonborn, Sorceror, Pretty useless in combat, best charisma (mine)
Nig-Nog the Gnome Assassin. Because, you know. Gnomes. (Also endlussly troublemaking.
DM: You see two people travelling the rode in the opposite direc;
Nig-Nog: We ask them for sexual favors!!
Us: Nig-Nog no!!
DM: Roll for it ):3
[Rolls 1]
DM: They refuse and attack you. I hope you're happy).
Tiny Tim the Minotaur Bard, Bringer of Doom, Destroyer of Lady Parts.
User avatar #68 to #64 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Jimmies refuses to be anywhere near Rustles, because he's rather homophobic.
Jimmies and Sjin are constantly arguing about whos the leader,
Someone tried to touch the Bard once. ONCE.
Clumsy is the only consistent fighter in our party, where I'm either more useless than a damp match, or I roll 10 TRiple-crits in a row and everything dies.
#75 to #68 - kindawittyguy (08/08/2012) [-]
Nig-Nog tried to throw a shuriken at an enemy, rolls a 1 (see a pattern with Nig-Nog?), and has the shuriken ricochet off the walls and imbed itself in our horse's neck.
Tiny Tim is too busy looking for his "Ladytaur" (whom he imagines is named "Moolissa") to be any real help in negotiations. Also he plays his lute a bit too loudly when the rest are trying to sleep.
Puff took a bite out of Nig-Nog's leg while he was asleep.
Spruce stabbed a goblin in the heart before we had a chance to interrogate him :p
#67 to #64 - kindawittyguy (08/08/2012) [-]
Oh, and also Stumpy Joe the Rage Drake with 3 legs, who is dumb is crap (Int = 3) :)
User avatar #72 to #67 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
In the beginning of our adventure, a castle we were in was sieged by another kingdom, so we hid in crates and barrels to survive.
Thats where Sjin love of barrels came from. The crates and such were moved to a cellar, filled with Gnolls.
Pretty much everyone was able to get out of the boxes and pass the STR check, except me, so I tried to shoot fireballs out of a small hole in the box... I rolled 1 for the first aim check, and set the box on fire.
So I either had to break open the box, or die.
Fun times.
User avatar #76 to #72 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Although, my stats were great. 18str, 15dr 16end, 20int, 10wis and 10cha.
Sjin had 20str, 18dr 20end 20int 9wis and 6cha... I have no ******* clue how he managed to roll stats like that. The best part about it, he uses Barrel Lids, and Spiked fists, when he's a ranger.
#77 to #76 - kindawittyguy (08/08/2012) [-]
I recently rolled a new character, the obscenely arrogant Ajax, a Shardmind Psion. Stats ended up being 6 str, 10 dex, 11 con, 20 int, 18 wis, and 14 cha at level one :) Doesn't really matter though, because of the one friend who also rolled for a character, whose rolls were between 13 and 19 all :p
User avatar #78 to #77 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
I really miss that group... We'd still be doing shenanigans together, except I had to move across the country, and Rustles' player had to move. We had other people in the group, but they weren't as memorable as Jimmies, Rustles, Sjin, Clumsy and Satan-Bard
#79 to #78 - kindawittyguy (08/08/2012) [-]
Know that feel :( A lot of ours are going off to college, so it looks like Puff and Ajax are going to have to go on with their studies for a while as I become the new DM...although, I believe Ajax would be proud of my newly acquired godhood.
User avatar #80 to #79 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Speaking of our DM... He was just evil.
Jimmies: "I want to search this shelf."
DM: The Shelf has a bunch of books. Only thing noticable is 3 large potions, Blue, pink and black.
Jimmies: Ill take the blue potion, uncork it and smell whats inside.
DM: It smells sweet, the kind that a healing potion has.
Jimmies: Alright, I'll drink a small drop of it to test it out.
DM: As soon as the blue drop touches your tounge, it starts to burn, spreading to the inside of your mouth, and your throat, and you very quickly pass out on the floor.

Me: Dude, what the **** .
DM: Thats what you get for being a dick.
User avatar #82 to #80 - stickmanz (08/08/2012) [-]
moar? please?
User avatar #174 to #82 - thadin (08/08/2012) [-]
Once I woke up from almost dying, I took all 3 potions. Not many things went on, until a major battle when we had two more people, a useless rogue, and deadly Half Orc Barbarian, played by Rustles' brother.

H-Orc: ME HURT, GIVE HEAL.
Jimmies: Here, take this. *Gives him the Blue Potion.*
H-Orc: *Downs the whole ******* thing.*
DM: See? This is why I make bad things happen to you.
Me: That bitch stole some of my kills.
User avatar #186 to #174 - stickmanz (08/10/2012) [-]
hahahaha holy **** please keep going
User avatar #89 - Spavaloo (08/08/2012) [-]
My party-

1. A dwarf who we think might just be a lump of steel.
2. A Goliath whose specialty is running very, very far away from things.
3. A half-orc with abandonment issues after his mace left him.
4. A Minotaur. We don't really know what that ****** does.
5. The Blizzard Lizard Wizard.
#87 - fuckyeahpidgey (08/08/2012) [-]
D&D online

>Halfling Rogue
>No points in INT, Multiclass to Cleric
>Can't see traps

>MFW Too lazy to re-roll
#97 to #87 - anon (08/08/2012) [-]
i want to get into dnd online but no one to play with,

if you're interested reply and ill make an account and we can hit eachother up to play some
User avatar #144 to #87 - wrought (08/08/2012) [-]
I used to play that
Then I finished all the quests I was allowed to do
#20 - PartyPanda (08/08/2012) [-]
**** your holy trinity.
#112 to #20 - lordoxygen (08/08/2012) [-]
I'm preordered since March, and I still can't choose which proffesion/race am I going to play. DAAAMNIT, they all so cool!
I'm preordered since March, and I still can't choose which proffesion/race am I going to play. DAAAMNIT, they all so cool!
#125 to #20 - jinkazama (08/08/2012) [-]
Can't wait for the 25th!
I just hope they optimized it better. It's still running pretty badly and has graphical glitches such as black screen for non Nvidia cards.
User avatar #29 to #20 - satanlovesyou (08/08/2012) [-]
almost to the release date, cant wait to start playing that game.
User avatar #30 to #29 - PartyPanda (08/08/2012) [-]
I know they don't want to have a lot of balancing issues but, I wish they opened up the weapons to all classes.
I want an elementalist with greatsword dammit!
#117 to #30 - frostbitezt (08/08/2012) [-]
I think you can have an elementalist with a greatsword.
User avatar #176 to #117 - PartyPanda (08/08/2012) [-]
The only two handed weapon I've seen with an elementalist is a staff.
#36 to #30 - anon (08/08/2012) [-]
one of their elites summons a fiery greatsword. that's good enough.
User avatar #90 - yourmomiswatching (08/08/2012) [-]
Make a guild for organised parties, Guild members rarely come online. Sad, but true.
User avatar #60 - weinerdick (08/08/2012) [-]
In Borderlands, I use Mordecai.
I have maxed out stats for shotguns.
User avatar #65 to #60 - thedeadking (08/08/2012) [-]
if true i hate you
User avatar #66 to #65 - weinerdick (08/08/2012) [-]
Lol I love you too
I was maxed out in snipers with Brick
User avatar #70 to #66 - thedeadking (08/08/2012) [-]
so much rage yet....uncontrolable amount of admiration for defying the game
User avatar #73 to #70 - weinerdick (08/08/2012) [-]
I'd either beat the **** out of everything or snipe it from far away...then punch the corpse

If I remember correctly, I mostly used SMG's, shotguns and pistols with Mordecai
Sniper rifles and shotguns with Brick
Pretty much exclusively machine guns with Roland
And Shotguns/ pistols with Lilith, but I didn't use her much
User avatar #74 to #70 - thepalmtoptiger (08/08/2012) [-]
It doesn't seem like a terrible idea on Brick. Snipe them from long range then in short range just punch them to death.
+2
#98 - dollahbill **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #185 - mikkotheraichu (08/10/2012) [-]
During D&D, there was a Pirate girl tied up and one of the players rolled for "ride."
The DM said he wasn't tall enough.
So he rolled for "climb."

User avatar #31 - srslyjakecease (08/08/2012) [-]
this is so true.
#12 - jahue (08/07/2012) [-]
Truth be told, I think your current party sounds awesome. It may not play well in the traditional sense, but loosen up and punch any and every NPC in the face.
#10 - ChaosShuffle (08/07/2012) [-]
This exact thing happened with my party this weekend.... I think it's fun.
User avatar #53 to #10 - YllekNayr (08/08/2012) [-]
New channel specifically for anything D&D. Stories, pictures, comics, etc.

We need fellow members to get it started. Link if you're interested: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/dungeons-n-drags
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