LOOL. me too. Apparently if mu masturbate twice a day, it will increase your life span by is years Like -Cemment -July 21 at 12: we meme . It sh -and 2 anthers
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LOOL

Apparently if mu masturbate twice a day, it will increase your life
span by is years
Like -Cemment -July 21 at 12: we meme . It
sh -and 2 anthers like this.
Leaks like rm Jeanna be Immortal.
Like . as 10
...
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Views: 63353
Favorited: 170
Submitted: 07/31/2012
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Comments(282):

[ 282 comments ]
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#57 - aBlindMoron (07/31/2012) [-]
>be 15   
>parents aren't home for 4 hours   
>decide to see how many times I can fap in that time period   
>fapped 7 times in the next  2 hours   
>by the third time my orgasms yielded no pleasure   
>fourth time was actually slightly painful   
>fifth time my cum was pink from having blood mixed into the semen   
>seventh time yielded more blood than semen   
>still I carried on for the sake of science   
>eight time I felt something "pop" in my shaft before I came   
>dick started bleeding   
>freak out   
>too embarrassed to call an ambulance   
>dick bleeds out in pants   
>months later my mother notices the blood in my underwear   
>i had to reveal the secret   
>i couldn't even look her in the eyes   
>to my surprise   
>she did the mash   
>she did the monster mash
>be 15
>parents aren't home for 4 hours
>decide to see how many times I can fap in that time period
>fapped 7 times in the next 2 hours
>by the third time my orgasms yielded no pleasure
>fourth time was actually slightly painful
>fifth time my cum was pink from having blood mixed into the semen
>seventh time yielded more blood than semen
>still I carried on for the sake of science
>eight time I felt something "pop" in my shaft before I came
>dick started bleeding
>freak out
>too embarrassed to call an ambulance
>dick bleeds out in pants
>months later my mother notices the blood in my underwear
>i had to reveal the secret
>i couldn't even look her in the eyes
>to my surprise
>she did the mash
>she did the monster mash
User avatar #302 to #57 - bilall (08/01/2012) [-]
try and beat your old record..but seriously i wanna know if its ok to do this
#66 to #57 - sourkid (07/31/2012) [-]
i'm gonna try that tonight!
#196 to #57 - redJericho (08/01/2012) [-]
"Fapped 7 times in the next two hours"
"On the 8th time i felt something pop"
#199 to #196 - aBlindMoron (08/01/2012) [-]
And everything else is legit to you?
#257 to #196 - Rascal (08/01/2012) [-]
He did say he tried to fap for 4 hours, only did 7 times in 2 hours
#68 to #57 - bobbinzz (07/31/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#58 to #57 - liljxxx (07/31/2012) [-]
WHAT. THE. 			****		.
WHAT. THE. **** .
User avatar #309 to #58 - scarletspider (08/01/2012) [-]
BURN.
************* .
NOTICE.

:D
User avatar #112 - wirecred (07/31/2012) [-]
When I was 13- 14 i tried not to fap more than 3 times a week so i could have more testosterone to grow a mustache, armpit hair ect. It ended up doing nothing and I just got super angry all the time
User avatar #140 to #112 - jakerfv (07/31/2012) [-]
Excuse me if I sound retarded but doesn't eating ton's of meat (protein) increase testosterone levels?

I can grow a beard and a mustache very quickly.
#171 to #140 - Rascal (08/01/2012) [-]
it is fat that CAN help increase testosterone production, some herbs and **** can as well. Masterbating/having sexual encounters also CAN increase production. Jus' Sayin'
User avatar #172 to #140 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
Meat has protein and hair is made of protein. Thus more meat=more hair
User avatar #206 to #172 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
By the same logic...
If I eat somebody's balls, which produce sperm, then I can produce twice as much sperm.
User avatar #209 to #206 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
Nonot really. The excess protein in your body is what is used for your hair.
User avatar #211 to #209 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
Wait...

So I can't eat enough balls to be able to shoot 1000 pounds of sperm and rob banks with my dick?
User avatar #213 to #211 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
nope.
User avatar #214 to #213 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
Aww...
User avatar #215 to #214 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
sorry : /
User avatar #216 to #215 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
But can I still eat people's balls?
User avatar #217 to #216 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
i guess if you want.
i don't think they'd be too happy about it.
User avatar #219 to #217 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
Can I eat your balls?
User avatar #220 to #219 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
i don't have any
User avatar #221 to #220 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
You do now.
User avatar #224 to #221 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
how did that happen? did hitler order sex changes?
User avatar #232 to #224 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
Pretty much, yeah.

So, about those balls of yours...
User avatar #233 to #232 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
you can have one of the nazis chop em off and eat it with spaghetti
User avatar #235 to #233 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
Splendid. My people will be coming at 1800 to collect the shipment.

Pleasure doing business with you.
User avatar #236 to #235 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
all righty then, make sure they cauterize the wound
User avatar #237 to #236 - ilovehitler (08/01/2012) [-]
At this point in time, I'm just commenting to fill the purple line limit.

User avatar #238 to #237 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
why do you want to do that?
#270 - ninjaspacewarrior (08/01/2012) [-]
That's why forever alone is FOREVER alone.
+5
#272 to #270 - jhenkong **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#231 - tonyspinners (08/01/2012) [-]
Does making your dick fart still count?
#288 to #231 - awesomedragonman (08/01/2012) [-]
WHAT THE ACTUAL 			****		!? LMFAO!!!!!!! i'm still laughing after five minutes
WHAT THE ACTUAL **** !? LMFAO!!!!!!! i'm still laughing after five minutes
+5
#246 to #231 - bobbaguy **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#163 - apronboobsface (08/01/2012) [-]
shocked chair is shocked.... and aroused.
#156 - scarydino (08/01/2012) [-]
Such a simple yet brilliant response
User avatar #275 - newrockerkid (08/01/2012) [-]
**newrockerkid rolled user fjponythread ** this guy masturbates too much
#280 to #275 - brum (08/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#203 - lizzarro (08/01/2012) [-]
1) masturbate twice in one day   
2) gain 8 years   
3)  masturbate twice tomorrow   
4)  gain 8 more years   
5) repeat   
6) ???   
7) PROFIT!
1) masturbate twice in one day
2) gain 8 years
3) masturbate twice tomorrow
4) gain 8 more years
5) repeat
6) ???
7) PROFIT!
#208 to #203 - FUKit (08/01/2012) [-]
Um... I hate to burst your bubble but I think that was the joke here.
#210 to #208 - lizzarro (08/01/2012) [-]
ERROR 404: BUBBLE NOT FOUND

I had the GIF to share but didn't want to leave the empty space.
+6
#158 - cerealisticbeing **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#40 - Rascal (07/31/2012) [-]
4 times. That's 16 years per day. I'll be young and gorgeous for an eternity!
User avatar #47 to #40 - banush (07/31/2012) [-]
That's 16 years per day. wut
#81 to #40 - zeusx (07/31/2012) [-]
yep, so gorgeous that you have to fap 4 times a day
-1
#119 to #81 - beepbeepjeep **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#285 - methodius (08/01/2012) [-]
What did you think was in the lazarus pit detective?
#273 - seemerollin (08/01/2012) [-]
**seemerollin rolled a random image posted in comment #300 at Boys playing with little kids ** how i masturbate
**seemerollin rolled a random image posted in comment #300 at Boys playing with little kids ** how i masturbate
#292 to #273 - Rascal (08/01/2012) [-]
that was a disturbing video
#202 - lmOldGreg (08/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#132 - alphajunk (07/31/2012) [-]
Thank god i can use my penis properly now!
Thank god i can use my penis properly now!
#95 - corpsedolly (07/31/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#118 to #95 - Rascal (07/31/2012) [-]
#127 to #118 - corpsedolly (07/31/2012) [-]
Gtfo anon.
+2
#113 to #95 - beepbeepjeep **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #170 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
I've found that the more I masturbate the harder it is to come. It takes me forever now.
0
#241 to #170 - faperturescience has deleted their comment [-]
+5
#174 to #170 - swiftykidd **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #180 to #174 - danniegurl ONLINE (08/01/2012) [-]
But that's no fun/good.
#1 - iliketities (07/31/2012) [-]
what if i jerk it four times a day do i become twice the immortal? pic unrelated
#2 to #1 - Rascal (07/31/2012) [-]
dude that was just a stupid comment
2x fap = 8 years
4x fap = 16
0
#6 to #2 - derpykong **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#7 to #6 - deathsreaper (07/31/2012) [-]
Actually, you will never die since every time you fap twice you get more years... the neverending cycle of fapping
0
#8 to #7 - derpykong **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#9 to #8 - deathsreaper (07/31/2012) [-]
step 1 - fap twice in one day

step 2 -

step 3 - immortality

Fap twice in one day once every 8 years derpy... I doubt you'd get fed p of fapping...

The more you know
#4 to #2 - iliketities (07/31/2012) [-]
i hope you know that i was joking right?
#110 - Rascal (07/31/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
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