Why Men are Awsome and Smarterest. Funny or junk. you Decide.. Why Being a Man is Easy Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about gun epic Men Smarterest women Make me a sammich Boobs
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Why Men are Awsome and Smarterest

Why Men are Awsome and Smarterest. Funny or junk. you Decide.. Why Being a Man is Easy Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about gun

Funny or junk. you Decide.

Why Being a Man is Easy
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about guns.
A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest acts of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Wedding dress: , 000; Tuxedo rental:
Your underwear cost for a three pack.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger' s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are mere than enough.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours
without thinking, "He must be mad at me."
Grey hair and wrinkles add character.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a
little gift
Your pals will never trap you with, "So, notice anything
different?"
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle last fer years, even decades.
A few belches are expected and tolerated.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can" do" your nails with a pocketknife.
If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, you
might become lifelong friends.
Good Driving
One day, a police officer pulls over a guy. "Is there a
problem officer?" the man asks him. "No, there' s no
problem. I just noticed that you were driving so well that I
wanted to give you this." the officer replies handing him
over a bill "So, what are you going to get with that
money?"
The driver takes a minute to think then says "Wow, uhh...
I' ll probably get myself a license..."
The man in the passenger seat adds "Don' t pay attention to
him, he' s like that when he' s drunk."
Another guy who was asleep in the backseat wakes up to
see the cep and says "See! I told you guys we wouldn' t get
far in a stolen car!"
Following that, there is a voice coming from the trunk "Are
we ever the border yet?"
The cep fainted.
...
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Views: 31883
Favorited: 242
Submitted: 05/01/2010
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Comments(210):

[ 210 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #66 - believesinzombies (05/02/2010) [-]
30 seconds is way too long in my opinion.
#4 - ChanceBlaylock **User deleted account** (05/01/2010) [-]
MAKE ANOTHER NOW THAT WAS AWESOME - IM PRACTICING MY BILLY MAYS VOICE BTW
User avatar #9 to #4 - masterluso (05/01/2010) [-]
Billy Mays thing... completely random...
User avatar #10 to #9 - Somomo (05/01/2010) [-]
yet oh so awesome.....
User avatar #13 to #10 - masterluso (05/01/2010) [-]
...ya...
#46 to #13 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
copied from "lotsofjokes" dot com.... just sayin
#72 to #46 - ChanceBlaylock **User deleted account** (05/02/2010) [-]
ACTUALY I CAME UP WITH IT BY MYSELF - Ooops sorry caps
#14 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Women are stupid and i don't respect them, that's right, i just have sex with 'em

Show me your Genitals. Your Genitals. Show me your Genitals (What!) Your Genitalia!
User avatar #44 to #14 - SeanHere (05/01/2010) [-]
haha love tht song
#17 to #14 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Youre talkin to me about stuff. Why? i'd rather see your titties. Now youre talklin about other stuff. Why? i'd much rather see your titties
#18 to #17 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
I can't have sex with your personality and i can't put my penis in your college degree.

And i can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams, so why you sharin all this information with me?
#20 to #18 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Its not sexist cause im singing it in a song. thats right bitch, now take off your thong

And Show me your Genitals. Your Genitals. Show me your Genitals (What!) Your Genitalia!
#21 to #20 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Knock knock whos there? its me! wonderin why your not naked.

Knock knock whos there? Me again! still wondrin why your not naked
#22 to #21 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
I wanna see your bum, i dont care what you say
no i dont have feelings, cause feelings are gay
Something something in the month of May
Bitches love my penis cause its really big
#23 to #22 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Girls brains are much stupider than mens are, so they should always listen to us, cause we're smart
#24 to #23 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Women are only good for three things:
1. Cooking
2. Cleaning
...... And vaginas
+1
#27 to #24 - McEmmsee **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#25 to #24 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Show me your Genitals. Your Genitals. Show me your Genitals (What!) Your Genitalia!
#26 to #25 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
I can give good sex to you, cause im really good at sex
I can give good sex to you, cause im really good at sex
#28 to #26 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
aw yeah. shake your.... bums...
+1
#30 to #28 - McEmmsee **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#29 to #28 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
im out of here. i gotta go have sex with a LOT of girls
#31 to #29 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
Show Me Your Genitals(Search it on YouTube)

By: Jon Lajoie

Thank you everyone
+1
#33 to #31 - McEmmsee **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #37 to #33 - kugnus (05/01/2010) [-]
epic win
User avatar #60 to #37 - Ddubber (05/02/2010) [-]
I dont like it, when you talk..


cause that just means, you're not sucking my cock!

VAGINA, what!?!
VAGINA, what!?!
i wanna have sex with your VAGINA!!
User avatar #15 - mooniec (05/01/2010) [-]
why women have it easy. tits.
User avatar #94 - Sylace (05/02/2010) [-]
That last joke ******* made my night!
#139 - anon (05/02/2010) [-]
we is smarterest because we has an edumacation.





and all your base are belong to us.
User avatar #148 to #139 - GreenEggsAndHam (05/02/2010) [-]
this are true.

People is smart.
+6
#68 - SandsOfTime **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #74 to #68 - Solcozm (05/02/2010) [-]
Yeah, that sucks big time. He acts like a total douche also.
0
#76 to #74 - SandsOfTime **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #81 to #76 - Solcozm (05/02/2010) [-]
Yep.
User avatar #217 to #68 - Onemanretardpack (05/02/2010) [-]
Dude! You have no IDEA how true that is. I got ******* EXPELLED from getting in a ******* fight with the dude because i was talking to him and he ******* told on me when my knife fell out of my pocket.
User avatar #79 to #68 - pinapplez (05/02/2010) [-]
that happened to me once except i was talking to her face to face and i told the guy im the guy who makes her sweat im the guy, that makes her moan,im the guy that, makes her scream, IM THE ******* BATMAN!!!!! we are currently best friends
User avatar #1 - xdtx (05/01/2010) [-]
the "is there a problem officer part" reminded me of troll face
thumbs up for you :D
0
#40 to #1 - McEmmsee **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#45 - marteboi (05/01/2010) [-]
mmm i've been shaving my head for 10 years, it works.
User avatar #53 to #45 - KabutopsX (05/01/2010) [-]
it took you 10 years to shave your head!?!
#54 to #53 - marteboi (05/01/2010) [-]
lol and thumb'd you haha
User avatar #189 to #53 - ImNotFat (05/02/2010) [-]
lmao.. i can see your comment getting to the top
#210 to #189 - Thrasher (05/02/2010) [-]
are you a prophet?
User avatar #218 to #210 - ImNotFat (05/03/2010) [-]
lmao one of my comments was 1 thumb away from the top 10 so i clicked this one to thumb it down... but i couldnt bring myself to do it haha,, just waaay to much win
#78 to #53 - akron **User deleted account** (05/02/2010) [-]
i ****** lol'd
User avatar #214 to #53 - LukesFather (05/02/2010) [-]
It was easy for me, I just lit my head on fire with lava.
User avatar #213 to #53 - ThaJokeRuiner **User deleted account** (05/02/2010) [-]
Haha, This comment is funny because marteboi has been shaving his head for 10 years, multiple times, and KabutopsX thought it took him 10 years to shave his head once. Lol at the irony.
User avatar #215 to #213 - CptnSoapMcTavish (05/02/2010) [-]
Dude, you're not the joke ruiner -.- get ur own meme.
User avatar #80 - yeehee (05/02/2010) [-]
haha these are pretty tru
and plus the joke made me lol for a while
#178 - anon (05/02/2010) [-]
im a girl and this is how i do it:
phone: hey, hi, whats up? nothing. hang up.
i play css, is that enough?
dont take ANYTHING with ya on vacation
throw the jar at the wall and expect it to open
User avatar #184 to #178 - kramer (05/02/2010) [-]
lol
#183 to #178 - anon (05/02/2010) [-]
You are either awesome or you have chest hair.
User avatar #113 - boredouttamylife (05/02/2010) [-]
men are awesome. but i violate the 3 shoes thing... i have 8
#116 to #113 - FJlover (05/02/2010) [-]
...you have three man cards when yo uwere born, now burn just one of them.
#125 to #119 - FJlover (05/02/2010) [-]
seriously, why 8? fancy, trainers, sports, ....what else is there?
User avatar #129 to #125 - boredouttamylife (05/02/2010) [-]
i have 2 pairs of *dress shoes* and 2pair of fancy overpriced shoes, then i have 4 pair of junk shoes that i would wear daily
#131 to #129 - FJlover (05/02/2010) [-]
*cocks his rifle* start running boy.
User avatar #132 to #131 - boredouttamylife (05/02/2010) [-]
lol. i have a perfectly good explanation on why i have 8 pairs of shoes.
User avatar #220 to #132 - mikeltv (05/04/2010) [-]
you only need 1 pair of each
#221 to #131 - Joinson (05/04/2010) [-]
you have to give him a head start, hes gotta get his dress shoes off and dig through his other shoes to find the pair he wants to die in lol
User avatar #98 - satanic falcon (05/02/2010) [-]
Here's another reason: We can go more than a minute without a cell phone... hell... we can go days.
User avatar #170 to #98 - PizzaOMGZ (05/02/2010) [-]
My order of cell phone uses in line of priority:

1. Music
2. Porn
3. Games
4. Calculator
5. Texting
6. Calling
User avatar #67 - LadyAnon (05/02/2010) [-]
At least half of those in that first list were true for me, too...
But, I shall take advantage of my feminine abilities.
*Hands out sammiches*
#69 to #67 - anon (05/02/2010) [-]
the lady has class
User avatar #70 to #69 - LadyAnon (05/02/2010) [-]
*Bows*
User avatar #91 to #70 - Pedobear Sr (05/02/2010) [-]
SAMMICHES AWESOME!! now i must go; the lolicon is waiting
User avatar #75 to #67 - Solcozm (05/02/2010) [-]
THANK YOU! and yes this lady does have class. Is there bacon on that sammich?
User avatar #77 to #75 - LadyAnon (05/02/2010) [-]
Three layers of bacon, and bacon bits in the crust. :3
User avatar #82 to #77 - Solcozm (05/02/2010) [-]
wow!
User avatar #95 to #82 - LadyAnon (05/02/2010) [-]
Indeed. :P
#203 - anon (05/02/2010) [-]
yeah bein a guys ****** awesome, but then theres all the crap we have to put up with:

1. when your girls on her period (any man whos had a real relationshipe knows this.)
2. red ring of death, lagging, dumbass noobs that ruin the game, and all other problems that come with playing xbox and xbox live
3. feminists. these bitches dont know when to quit! they think all guys are insensitive bastards and they punish everyone for it!
4. probly the worst one: your dick. always getting in the way. whether its an unexpected boner in the middle of class, or bat wings, they can suck major balls
5. its hot to be lesbian, but gays are nasty. im not gay, i think i like tits more than any guy, but im jealous of girls cuz they can **** whoever they want.
#177 - anon (05/02/2010) [-]
But without blowjobs and sammiches you wouldn't be able to function =3
Soo, we're pretty awesome too
#182 to #177 - ItalianKisses **User deleted account** (05/02/2010) [-]
HAHAHA!
this is very true :]]
User avatar #154 - SinxThexAssassin (05/02/2010) [-]
This Is The Picture Next To The The Definition Of EPIC In The Dictionary.
User avatar #102 - kikiandcoco (05/02/2010) [-]
.... well men are the one paying for all the **** that women get i.e mountans of clothes, 50 suitcases to fit them in and we mustn't forget the shoe and handbags..... all paid for with the mans money.... but she'll still make a good sammich
User avatar #114 to #102 - EspeonGirl (05/02/2010) [-]
Help, I'm drowning in a sea of lame stereotypes!
User avatar #48 - TheKingLeonidas (05/01/2010) [-]
this ain't junk for sure
User avatar #49 to #48 - freenoobs (05/01/2010) [-]
but its funny for sure,
btw when is the thumbs idea for green thumb will say funny and the red thumb will say junk
+1
#50 to #49 - McEmmsee **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #51 to #50 - freenoobs (05/01/2010) [-]
yea, tell the designer i said to look at this commet so he will see it
User avatar #19 - adamsvette (05/01/2010) [-]
It was funny.
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