The Phases of Poop. Part 2: /funny_pictures/393577/The+Phases+of+Poop+Part+2/<br /> Part 3: /funny_pictures/394986/The+Phases+of+Poop+Part+3/<br />  Phases of poop
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The Phases of Poop

Tags: Phases | of | poop
Dakunism Presents:
The Relaxing Poop:
You' Been holding it in for
soc long the Instant you sat
down it Just started falling out
with no effort whatsoever.
Texture:
Soft as a sponge.
Wiping:
Average
The Rebel Poop:
You' Been needing to poop
so bad for the past hour or so
But, yet again, Funnyjunk has
distracted you. You push with
all your might, But your poop
refuses to budge. The end
result is a poop that naes out
unexpectedly and leaves you
with an ass full of pain.
Texture:
Normally hard as a *******
rock, b it shoots out so fast
sometimes that you cant
even tell.
Wiping:
Just one time to wipe the
blood from your asshole.
The Coming out of Both Ends Poop:
You' re sick in bed and all of
a sudden, an immense urge
to **** hits you in the
stomach. You run to the
Bathroom only to 'piss out
your ass", meaning the ****
is soomo Liquified, you feel
like youre peeing. But
that' s not all, the fumes of
the poop make you
nauseas and you feel like
you' re going to hum
Catching
container is REQUIRED.
Texture:
Poop - Liquid
Barb depends on what
you' eaten
Wiping:
Hehe, and you thought
half the roll would Be
enough...
The Soft Serve Poop:
You sit down to put, and it
lust feels like you **** a
cloud! You' re on cloud 9
Because it' s the easiest you
can ever take.
Texture:
Soft serve ice cream.
Wiping:
Average
The shalt Poop:
Everyone knows what
this is... no need to
discuss it any further.
Texture:
You hope it Just stayed
Between your cheeks,
But you know it didn' t.
Wiping:
Depends on the poop you
take after the shalt.
The Sleepy Poop:
It' s 4 am and you have
to **** . You **** on the
11/ toilet and middshot, you
fall asleep. You wake
up wondering what
time it is; only to look
at your watch and
realize that you' re an
hour late already! You
hurry up and Fiish to
start your day, But you
forgot one thing. ;)
Texture:
You have no idea, it
slipped out during
your sleep.
Wiping:
This is what you
forgot.
Thumb Up if you like, down if you don' t.
I' m thinking about doing more of these,
let me know what you think in the
comments below!
dakunism
...
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+2627
Views: 74890
Favorited: 299
Submitted: 04/30/2010
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Comments(341):

[ 341 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #8 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
these jokes are ****** !! but i like them :D
User avatar #325 to #8 - NarutoXSupreme (05/01/2010) [-]
I see what you did thar

I know you feel
-puts sunglasses-
like crap
YEEEEAAHHH
#9 to #8 - noproblem **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
haha. puns.
User avatar #10 to #9 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
the pun i told was crappy...
User avatar #13 to #10 - Noah (04/30/2010) [-]
Dude your jokes stink...
User avatar #14 to #13 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
you should be purged from the site!
User avatar #15 to #14 - Noah (04/30/2010) [-]
well at least wipe that smile off your face
User avatar #16 to #15 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
these jokes are very lax...
User avatar #17 to #16 - dakunism (04/30/2010) [-]
you mustve pulled these jokes right out of your ass...
User avatar #18 to #17 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
yea there lame, its getting abit corny
#20 to #18 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
this thread is ******
User avatar #22 to #20 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
it keeps going around in circles till its gone...
#23 to #22 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
now that im in this thread its hard to get out
User avatar #25 to #23 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
this is nutty....
#27 to #25 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
**** , it hard to come up with these, ill have to wait and try again later
User avatar #29 to #27 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
they just keep coming for me
#30 to #29 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
^ anons suck at even making crappy jokes, **** they do suck ^
User avatar #31 to #30 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
-ignores anon- -tryes to think of another crappy joke but ****** ideas keep coming to mind-
#33 to #31 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
oh **** if this doesnt stop soon were gonna run out of space
User avatar #35 to #33 - TheCrowbar (04/30/2010) [-]
aww crap, i cant think of anything
#36 to #35 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
i told you...this ***** really hard
User avatar #38 to #36 - johntractorman (04/30/2010) [-]
Is anyone screen capping this!?!?
#39 to #35 - TheRealRageGuy **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
aww crap we ran out of room
#28 to #25 - anon (04/30/2010) [-]
C-C-C-CHAIN B-B-B-REAKER
User avatar #51 to #28 - PedoSaur (04/30/2010) [-]
It's combo breaker you dumb **** .
If you're going to be an asshole, at least do it right.
User avatar #21 to #16 - Xan Krieger (04/30/2010) [-]
Something about these jokes don't smell right to me...
User avatar #71 - patriotpride (04/30/2010) [-]
One time, I ate a whole box of fiber bars, because I forgot what fiber does to you. Later that day, me laying on the couch complaining of a stomach ache. My mom remembered I ate the box of fiber bars, and she said, "I hope you know, fiber makes you **** like crazy." I said, "No it doesn't." An hour later; "RRRRRRRAAAAGGGGHHH! HEMORRHOIDS!! *splash* HOLY **** ! MOM I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR!"
User avatar #12 - TehShocker (04/30/2010) [-]
I hate the soft kinds. They're a pain in the ass to wipe.

They leave my ass hairs filled with **** and I have dingle berries.
+3
#92 to #12 - Captainstab **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #75 - DaGrammarNazi (04/30/2010) [-]
This post made my day crappy.
#78 to #75 - anon (04/30/2010) [-]
YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
#90 - anon (04/30/2010) [-]
you forgot the "Miracle"
you take the sloppiest **** ever, u cant imagine how much wiping will be required, but to realise, your asshole is clean as a ******* gem
then you think to yourself..
**** Yea
User avatar #289 - captainfuckitall (05/01/2010) [-]
haha, there are many different types of poop as well. for example...

the long-john aberham poop: a poop thats so big and long it comes out of the water and your afraid to flush cause it might get clogged...
the ghost poop: you sit on the toilet and feel like your pooping but when you sit up and look there's nothing there...
the clean poop: you sit on the toilet and take a **** but when you wipe your ass there's nothing there...
the skunk poop: a poop that smells so bad you need to use a whole canister of febreeze to get the smell out...
the wet-butt-cheeks poop: a poop that comes out so fast and hits the water so hard it splashes up and hits your butt-cheeks...
the strain-and-drain: a poop you strain so hard to get out your face turns red
User avatar #316 to #289 - pearson (05/01/2010) [-]
don't forget the skid mark poop
User avatar #317 to #316 - captainfuckitall (05/01/2010) [-]
haha, i didn't, i just ran out of character counts and I'm to lazy to continue :P
User avatar #226 - Jameshaich (05/01/2010) [-]
What about the ghost poop....you take a **** and it's somehow not visable in the bowl and then you wipe and there is nothing there....the weirdest poop ever
#238 to #226 - Milkeer **User deleted account** (05/01/2010) [-]
I know what your saying where it just disappears down the drain and there's no left over **** ...
User avatar #85 - FoxxHound (04/30/2010) [-]
this comic is

*takes off sunglasses*

full of **** .
#110 to #85 - akron **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
YYYEAAAAAAHHHHHHH
User avatar #126 - Danzig (04/30/2010) [-]
because of the economy, I fold my toilet paper every time I wipe
User avatar #135 to #126 - hpu (04/30/2010) [-]
good idea. very frugal.
User avatar #296 to #126 - Baer (05/01/2010) [-]
I use it on both sides
#80 - mileycyrusbot (04/30/2010) [-]
ghost poop: you think you have to go really bad, sit down nothing happens. Leave with a frown on your face.
#2 - semojuggalo **User deleted account** (04/30/2010) [-]
it was great. i would like MOAR
User avatar #1 - uhohhotdog (04/30/2010) [-]
moarMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
User avatar #37 to #1 - Kangarroo (04/30/2010) [-]
*Sticks a dildo in your mouth*

o_o
User avatar #250 - GreenEggsAndHam (05/01/2010) [-]
these are such ****** jokes.
User avatar #256 to #250 - PETERGRIFIN (05/01/2010) [-]
a waste of time
#342 - kmutbutt (05/02/2010) [-]
this might be disturbing, but i take my laptop and funnyjunk while pooping sometimes, and if i don't wipe quick enough the poop fukin dries on my asshole. and im wiping **** flakes later
User avatar #346 to #342 - Dasmitimsad (05/03/2010) [-]
Haha nice
#352 to #342 - YesImHax **User deleted account** (07/07/2010) [-]
thats why you have to take a shower after....
User avatar #343 to #342 - bluewafflez (05/02/2010) [-]
welcome to the famry
#178 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
The worst one is "the shy turtle". You know the one,it pokes its head out, then back it goes, over and over again, no matter how hard you strain.
#202 to #178 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
lol Rat Race called it "Prairie Dogging, like when the prairie dog sticks its head in and out of the hole."
User avatar #157 - King Reaper (05/01/2010) [-]
Well... I was thinking about grabbing a midnight snack and decided to browse FJ real quick.
You'd think I'd say I lost my appetite but the disturbing bit is that I haven't, in fact, it's intensified.
User avatar #159 to #157 - KefkaTheBurninator (05/01/2010) [-]
Straight up man, I feel ya.
User avatar #145 - dockoty (04/30/2010) [-]
Oh my, please make more of these " **** " comicals. They very hilarious. Also, this is going to my favorites.
User avatar #136 - RumTumTubin (04/30/2010) [-]
You forgot burning poop.
Where you squirm around all around, thinking it will all of a sudden stop burning your asshole.
User avatar #263 - ipeepoop (05/01/2010) [-]
you forgot the 45 peice poopy mcnuggets
#272 to #263 - anon (05/01/2010) [-]
So Im not the only one?!!
User avatar #212 - Morgystyle (05/01/2010) [-]
We need more content like this:D Like really funny comics that are made with awesome ideas.
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