Fucking /b/. . Cl Anonymous (ID: ) (/ 12( Mon) 13: 33: 54 1 128052 Has a child you something that made you feel like ? One time I had a kid come ovate my house
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Fucking /b/

Cl Anonymous (ID: ) (/ 12( Mon) 13: 33: 54 1 128052
Has a child you something that made you feel like **** ?
One time I had a kid come ovate my house and tell me that my house was small and boring. Semen I told him that my house was small because I had an
amazing secret basement full of games and toys that I never tell anyone about. This kid wanted to see it really badly at that point, so I told him to wait outside
the basement door SO I could get the games and toys ready for him. I took a bucket of glitter mixed in with super glue and set it up on the top of the basement
door. I gave the kid the cue to come inside, and when he opened the door, I stabbed the ******
eterna I Iogc
...
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Views: 37561
Favorited: 105
Submitted: 07/09/2012
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Comments(70):

[ 70 comments ]
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#49 - scottysglasses (07/10/2012) [-]
>be 15   
>walk girlfriend to her door   
>I open door to let her in, her family is just to the right   
>After we kiss and say goodbye I hear her to talk to her baby sisiter   
>"who was that?"   
>"my boyfriend, why?"   
>"he looks like poo"   
>MFW my girlfriend asks me a few days later if we can take her little sister to the fair
>be 15
>walk girlfriend to her door
>I open door to let her in, her family is just to the right
>After we kiss and say goodbye I hear her to talk to her baby sisiter
>"who was that?"
>"my boyfriend, why?"
>"he looks like poo"
>MFW my girlfriend asks me a few days later if we can take her little sister to the fair
User avatar #70 to #49 - thedarkdefender (07/10/2012) [-]
Sorry you look like poo, bro.
#55 to #11 - anon (07/10/2012) [-]
Wasn't this story written by someone on FJ???
It was top comment and written before 7/9/12 when this was written.
Seems 4chan took from FJ.
#52 to #11 - jinkazama (07/10/2012) [-]
But 9gag posts are on the front page every day too.
#56 to #11 - anon (07/10/2012) [-]
+15
#30 - rumler **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#39 - azusa (07/10/2012) [-]
So a guy is driving along a deserted winding mountain road. He comes across a break in the guardrail and can see smoke rising from below the road. Being the good citizen he is, he stops on the side of the road and rushes down to see what happened.
He finds a badly mangled car and sees a man in the drivers seat, a woman in the passenger's seat and a little boy with a small puppy in his lap in the rear seat, all dead. Horrified, he starts walking back to his car to call the police. But he suddenly hears a whimper from under a bush. He rushes over to the bush and finds an 8 year old blond haired, blue eyed girl. He knees down to the sobbing girl and says, "Little girl, is that your car that crashed?"

"Yes"

"And are those your parents dead in the front seats?"

"Yes"

"And is that your brother dead in the back seat?"

"Yes"

"And is that your puppy dead on your brother's lap?"

"Yes"

The man considers these answers, stands up, looks around, unzips his pants and says, "Well little girl, today is just not your lucky day"
+1
#66 to #39 - themafiafilmscorp **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #13 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
Oh I got tons of these.

-Babysitting this one little girl. She's adorable and she likes me a lot and we get along, but she can be really mean and really blunt.
-Hanging out in my room, showing her little knick knacks that I make.
-"What's in your closet?"
-"Clothes."
-"I wanna see."
-"Okay."
-"I like that one and that one... "
-She pulls out one of my favorite outfits. "this one is ugly."
-"Everyone has their different tastes, I suppose."
-"I dont like it."
-"And that's okay!"
-"Can I throw it away?"
-"No. I like it a lot, actually."
-She doesn't take different opinions very well (heh. A lot like another certain website around here, haha) and sighs frustratedly.
-I convince her to watch Barbie: Princess and the Pauper with me
-Later I catch her picking her nose with the outfit she didn't like.
User avatar #14 to #13 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
-We're watching another barbie movie
-"Why dont you like barbies anymore?"
-"Because I kind of think Barbie's a bit innapropriate nowadays. A lot of girls pressure themselves to look extremely skinny, like her."
-"But I'm extremely skinny."
-She is not extremely skinny.
User avatar #15 to #14 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
-Now we're singing songs (stuff she likes, like Taylor Swift) with my expensive microphone plugged into the computer, on audacity.
-"Okay, now, when you sing in this, you need to be very careful and not get to close, or when we listen to it, it'll be really loud and fuzzy."
-I'm a singer and she's being trained to be a singer, so it's good that she may learn from me.
-"Yeah, okay."
-She starts singing "Mean."
-Too close to mic.
-"That was really good, but you were way too close to the mic."
-"Nuh-uh."
-"You were."
-"No I wasn't! Let's listen to it."
-"Okay."
-We listen to the recording and it's really loud and pitchy.
-"See? You need to be a bit farther away from it, and dont grab on, just leave it."
-"No... I think your microphone is broken or something."
-"I think we were just too close."
-"How come you dont have a better microphone?"
-"I dont have enough money."
-"I do."
-"That's really good!"
-"When I get older and you babysit me again, you could learn a lot from me!"
#16 to #15 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
-She's looking at different characters I draw for concept art or stories
-"How come all of your girl charachters end up with a guy except for this one?"
-"Because I think variety is good, and I'm sure she'll get married eventually. We, as the audience, just wont see it."
-"She's based off of you, isn't she?"

yfw
User avatar #32 to #16 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
-Before all this, I first showed her my room
-"This one is my room, you can tell because it's girlier than the other one."
-"Heh. It's not that girly."
-There's glow-in-the-dark, sparkly stars on the walls and a small counter there for jewelry and hair stuff.
-She looks at me and says "You have a small room!"
-"I know."
-"My room's bigger and I have more toys than you."
-Proceeds to go on with all the things her room has that mine doesn't.
#19 to #16 - bakeeater (07/10/2012) [-]
That girl will grow up to be a bitch, I CAN FEEL IT.
I feel so bad for you. Here, take this dog.
User avatar #29 to #19 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
Forget the dog, gimme the cola!
#25 to #16 - anon (07/10/2012) [-]
what a cunt
User avatar #26 to #16 - axeul (07/10/2012) [-]
Why the **** do you babysit her? I would dump her dumb bitch onto her parents and tell them all the **** she does.
User avatar #28 to #26 - AnonymousWraith (07/10/2012) [-]
This all happened in one day. She's really adorable but I think she'll out-grow her bluntness as she gets older. I did get paid a lot.
#17 to #10 - ultimateninja (07/10/2012) [-]
MFW watching this.
MFW watching this.
#31 to #17 - mrhirxes (07/10/2012) [-]
MFW Watching this
MFW Watching this
User avatar #65 - lolkoi (07/10/2012) [-]
And took his mints?
#62 - PenguinsOfMars (07/10/2012) [-]
My dad's friends 5 year old daughter once asked me why I had pimples all over my face.
#8 - pyrothermal (07/10/2012) [-]
An 8 year old once questioned if I was mentally retarded.
User avatar #3 - torchrose (07/10/2012) [-]
I was babysitting for my sister this morning. My nephew asked me where Lady was. (She's my dog that died two months ago). I told her that she died. "Lady was killed" "Yes Marley, I know." "You killed Lady."

I would have punched him if he wasn't 3.
User avatar #61 - sgc (07/10/2012) [-]
hanging out at a local boys and girls club for career hours (for school)
one of the kids (grade 6) being a smart mouth and talking **** about me to my face
warn him about being banned from the club a few times like i am supposed too
find him spray painting the building alone
lose it
grab the paint, paint his ******* shirt over
grab the ****** and walk into the club to the supervisor.
tell him i found the kid outside valdinlizing and trying to inhale fumes from the can
kid is banned from the club and no one ever believes that i was the one who sprayed him over.
#50 - MakesTigersGoRawr (07/10/2012) [-]
Reminds me of that book the Lovely Bones when that crazy guy lures her into the room under the corn field...
#9 - ragingbrony (07/10/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Some douche called me a Poop nose once.
+5
#7 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#6 - anon (07/10/2012) [-]
But did you take his mints?
User avatar #22 - unicornmangina (07/10/2012) [-]
>kid age 4 on my street
>i was in the front yard sunbathing
>"hey do you have cushions yet?" *his word for boobs*
>me "yes i do"
>4 year old lkid "well where are they? are they hiding"
>little ****
#2 - Moog (07/10/2012) [-]
#71 - Flfootball (07/10/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#23 - anon (07/10/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #38182 at Anime & Manga ** picture resembles story of my live.
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