Fucked Up Jokes vol 1: Babies. Credit to deadbabyjokes and sickipedia, and to me for second joke . Ill] Mes vol 1: Babies hall}: and a tr), Yamaha smut hunts on fucked up jokes dead baby
x
Click to expand

Fucked Up Jokes vol 1: Babies

Fucked Up Jokes vol 1: Babies. Credit to deadbabyjokes and sickipedia, and to me for second joke . Ill] Mes vol 1: Babies hall}: and a tr), Yamaha smut hunts on

Credit to deadbabyjokes and sickipedia, and to me for second joke

****** Ill] Mes vol 1: Babies
hall}: and a
tr), Yamaha
smut hunts
on a
...
  • Recommend tagsx
+492
Views: 20918
Favorited: 58
Submitted: 06/25/2012
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to SwiftNinja Subscribe to morbid-channel submit to reddit

Comments(99):

[ 99 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #24 - rainbowrollcake (06/26/2012) [-]
How do you put a baby in a blender?
Feet first so you see the facial expression.

How do you get a baby out of a blender?
Tortilla chips.

What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.

How do you keep a baby from spinning on a clothes line?
you hit it with a shovel.

Why did the baby cross the road?
It didn't, it got hit by a bus.

What's worse than hitting a baby with a bus?
Scraping it out of the tires.

And a story.

After 30 hours of painful labor, a mother finally gave birth to a baby boy. The doctor then took it, slapped it on the ass, threw it down the hallway, soccer kicked it back to the room, and slam dunked it in a trash can. The doctor then turned to the mother who was now sobbing, asking why he did that. The doctor had a look of sincerity on his face and said "Don't worry, I was just ******* with you, the baby was still born"

God I hope someone reads this.
#63 to #24 - anon (06/26/2012) [-]
personal favorite:

whats more disgusting than a pile of dead babies?

the live one in the center trying to eat its way out.
#101 to #63 - anon (06/26/2012) [-]
Worse yet? It comes back for seconds.
#83 - patchesdacrazy (06/26/2012) [-]
I've never liked these jokes. Im one of those people where I hear something, and I instantly visualize it. Not a fun combination.
I've never liked these jokes. Im one of those people where I hear something, and I instantly visualize it. Not a fun combination.
User avatar #85 to #83 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
but that's what makes the jokes fun!
User avatar #86 to #85 - patchesdacrazy (06/26/2012) [-]
Meh. I got a little baby sister at the time I started hearing these jokes, so I didn't particularly care for them.
User avatar #90 to #86 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
damn, you can't throw family into jokes like that, they become terrifying. thumbs for your temporary anguish from these posts.
#91 to #90 - patchesdacrazy (06/26/2012) [-]
thumbs to you for being Human.
thumbs to you for being Human.
User avatar #94 to #91 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
i am very humane when it comes to real life, but in terms of jokes (and while raging with some video games) i can go to very very dark places.....
User avatar #67 - chokesondik (06/26/2012) [-]
How do you make bad baby jokes?

Take ****** jokes and replace them with the word "baby"
#100 - Duckmunky (06/26/2012) [-]
who sticks a fork in a ******* toaster
User avatar #102 to #100 - SwiftNinja (06/26/2012) [-]
It's common among children actually.
#61 - jilliebean (06/26/2012) [-]
MFW comments, and the mental images that followed.
#27 - nyankat (06/26/2012) [-]
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?   
   
   
   
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?



Depends on how hard you throw them.
User avatar #12 - captainchina (06/25/2012) [-]
whats funnier than a dead baby?


a dead baby in a clown suit.
User avatar #8 - toxicwastedump (06/25/2012) [-]
whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree.

1 baby nailed to ten trees.
+3
#6 - spectorial **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#1 - doggstar (06/25/2012) [-]
what's the difference between a baby nd a sandwich?
i dont come on a sandwich before i eat it
what's the difference between a watermelon and a baby?
ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon
User avatar #2 to #1 - SwiftNinja (06/25/2012) [-]
How do you recycle dead babies?
Meat pies and lasagne.
+3
#40 - jmbraze **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #41 to #40 - sanshiiuum (06/26/2012) [-]
How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand down.
-1
#42 to #41 - jmbraze **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #44 to #42 - sanshiiuum (06/26/2012) [-]
hm. Whats the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
One's fun to hit with a hammer, and the other is a watermelon.
-1
#46 to #44 - jmbraze **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #47 to #46 - sanshiiuum (06/26/2012) [-]
Fff. Alright uhm. Whats the difference between Dance Dance Revolution and a dead baby?
One's fun to dance on while listening to rave music, the other is Dance Dance Revolution. (not the best, but original.)
-1
#53 to #47 - jmbraze **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #54 to #53 - sanshiiuum (06/26/2012) [-]
I tried. :x
User avatar #48 to #47 - kerfufflemachtwo (06/26/2012) [-]
What's the best present for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.
#50 to #48 - anon (06/26/2012) [-]
What's the difference between tin foil and a baby?

You can't put tin foil in the microwave.
User avatar #51 to #50 - kerfufflemachtwo (06/26/2012) [-]
How do you empty a truck full of dead babies?
With a pitchfork.
-2
#43 to #41 - jmbraze **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #49 to #40 - joestraightballa (06/26/2012) [-]
laughed at the helen keller one
+2
#38 - imanorphan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #99 - Rollerofdouble (06/26/2012) [-]
What's the worse than 5 babies in a bin?

1 baby in 5 bins
#62 - anon (06/26/2012) [-]
My favorite was always:

What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead babies?

My dick
User avatar #80 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?

i don't kiss my girlfriend after sex
User avatar #81 to #80 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what do you get when you break a baby's jaw?



deepthroat
User avatar #82 to #81 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's the difference between a bucket of baby guts and a bucket of gravel?


you can't gargle gravel
User avatar #84 to #82 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's the difference between an old lady and a dead baby?



a dead baby can't die when you **** it up the ass
User avatar #87 to #84 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?



you can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
User avatar #88 to #87 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
why do you unload a truck full of dead babies with a pitchfork?


in case there are some that aren't dead.
User avatar #89 to #88 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's blue, orange, and sits at the bottom of the deep end of a pool?


a baby with burst water wings.
User avatar #92 to #89 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's red, pink, and sits in a corner?


a baby chewing on razor blades.
User avatar #93 to #92 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
what's green, brown and sits in a corner?


the same baby 2 weeks later
User avatar #106 to #93 - madeyoulooknana (10/23/2012) [-]
jesus.....stop. My Sides.....Please, no MOAR
User avatar #96 to #93 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
well, that rustled someone's jimmies
User avatar #98 to #96 - kasperscar (06/26/2012) [-]
Thankyou Laugh after laugh
User avatar #103 to #98 - gobnick ONLINE (06/26/2012) [-]
glad to see someone saw that i wasn't serious, just making jokes.
User avatar #104 to #103 - kasperscar (06/27/2012) [-]
dickhead thumbed you down dw Im here for you fellow dead baby joke teller
Can you believe i was at a dinner with my girlfriend and her parents and we were telling dead baby jokes
User avatar #105 to #104 - gobnick ONLINE (06/27/2012) [-]
lol, i can't believe so many people take this so seriously, it's not our fault they have a bad time, maybe they shouldn't let it get to them so much.
User avatar #25 - myballsonyourchin (06/26/2012) [-]
whats the differenca be tween a baby and an apple.
I don't cum in the apple be fore i eat it.
User avatar #5 - kasperscar (06/25/2012) [-]
Why the Baby cross the road?



Cause it was stapled to the Chicken
User avatar #4 - ianus (06/25/2012) [-]
how much babies do you need to paint a wall red? it depends on how hard you throw
User avatar #9 - eminempackerfan (06/25/2012) [-]
When do u take a dead baby out of a micro-wave?
When your done masturbating
#13 - reptarrawr (06/25/2012) [-]
whats the difference between a dead pile of babies and a ferrari?

i dont have a ferrari in my garage
[ 99 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)