I almost died tonight. I didn't want to sleep ever again anyways. Me in the dark, browsing the interwbs like nermal. Suddenly, the hem my pants brush my feet. b I almost died tonight didn't want to sleep ever again anyways Me in the dark browsing interwbs like nermal Suddenly hem my pants brush feet b
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I almost died tonight

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I almost died tonight. I didn't want to sleep ever again anyways. Me in the dark, browsing the interwbs like nermal. Suddenly, the hem my pants brush my feet. b

I didn't want to sleep ever again anyways

Me in the dark, browsing the interwbs like nermal.
Suddenly, the hem my pants brush my feet.
brush hem eff .'
tether :Photot,: t: , browsing*
The hem brushes my feet again
elsker my tees.
HOLY ;
OF FUCKING FUCK DAMN
FUCKER SHIT FROM
HELL GOING TO EAT
ME WHILE I SLEEP
FUCKING HELL I' M
GONNA DIE FUCK
SOMEONE HELP PLEASE
KILL THE BITCH WITH
NUCLEAR WARFARE SHIT
BITCH FUCKING SHIT
HOLY FUCKING HELL
I' LL SHIT BRICKS
IF IT FUCKING
FLIES FUCK
IT' S GOTTA
BE FROM A
BOUNTY HUNTER
TU FUCKING KILL
ME WHILE I SLEEP
HOLY SHIT I' M
GOING TU DIE
THIS BITCH
IS IMMORTAL
FUCKING FUCK ,
DAMN SHIT .
BASTARD ATE J:
MY FOOT OFF
HOLY GOAT BALL
MOTHER OF FUCK I' M 'd
GONNA DIE DAMN BITCH
...
+2209
Views: 50052 Submitted: 06/14/2012
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[ 315 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
User avatar #7 - avastbluesky
Reply +61 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
i ******* hate that ****!
i had one of those ******* on the back of my door when i closed it.
smacked the **** out of it with a wooden plank.

also, similar story.
few nights ago, laying in bed. left bicep is a little itchy.move my arm.feel it again.
all the lights are off so i use my phone light and look at my arm.
******* big brown spider.
flip ****, jump up, turn light on, bust out plank, kill that ******.
#97 to #7 - ipkforfun
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
this plank ?
User avatar #109 to #7 - milkandmore
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
Do you just have a plank near you at all times?
#199 to #109 - avastbluesky
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
this ************, right by my bed.
User avatar #46 to #7 - TigerShark
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Damn... I need to get myself a plank for my room, that's fukkin smart

User avatar #200 to #46 - avastbluesky
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
hell yeah man.that and a can of bug spray just in case you dont wanna use the plank.
#39 to #7 - oliphan
Reply +29 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
my story

>have loft bed, face close to ceiling
>trying to get to sleep
>open eyes
>************* big ass spider directly in front of my face
>try to slowly move away and get something to kill it
>it drops down onto my bed
>flip ****, climb down ladder faster than Usain Bolt
>ishouldntbealive.jpg
>get spider catcher
>go back to check bed
>spider gone. probably under covers or mattress ready to crawl on me when I try to sleep
>nope.
>sleep in chair, feet off ground, in middle of room
>next day, get up the balls to be alpha and turf that ****** out of my bed
>pull off covers, mattress, etc. and beat the **** out of them with a broom to try and kill it or get it to drop onto the floor so I can kill it
>never found spider
>sprayed half of the room that I sleep on with bug spray
>never saw the bastard again, fearfully awaiting his return

TL:DR? ************* spiders, up in yo bed and ****!
#8 to #7 - rachaelalana [OP]
Reply +31 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
We could have died bro.

Pic related.
#64 - Nickdowgg
Reply +39 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
I have a story kinda like this   
> fapping one lonely night   
> feel itch on back   
> scratch that ****   
> almost done fapping   
> feel itch again but lower   
> scratch that *****   
> finish fapping and get ready to shower   
> forget towel and no ones in the house   
> trying to find one while nude   
> don't notice the blinds are open and crystal clear windows to neighbors house   
> feel that damn itch again but near my ass   
> look in mirror   
> BIG ASS ******* SPIDER CHILLING ABOVE MY ASS   
> flip **** trying to get that bitch off   
> hit lamp, picture frame, vase   
> see neighbors looking in disgust   
> spider is gone   
> calmly walk back to shower   
> get done and look at floor where I had a battle with the ******   
> the spider splattered all over the floor   
> laugh   
My neighbors never liked me anyway.
I have a story kinda like this
> fapping one lonely night
> feel itch on back
> scratch that ****
> almost done fapping
> feel itch again but lower
> scratch that *****
> finish fapping and get ready to shower
> forget towel and no ones in the house
> trying to find one while nude
> don't notice the blinds are open and crystal clear windows to neighbors house
> feel that damn itch again but near my ass
> look in mirror
> BIG ASS ******* SPIDER CHILLING ABOVE MY ASS
> flip **** trying to get that bitch off
> hit lamp, picture frame, vase
> see neighbors looking in disgust
> spider is gone
> calmly walk back to shower
> get done and look at floor where I had a battle with the ******
> the spider splattered all over the floor
> laugh
My neighbors never liked me anyway.
User avatar #72 to #64 - moooossseeee
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
That had to be one of the single funniest stories I have ever read. Thank you man, you made me thoroughly lol
#71 to #64 - ohmahgaz
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Nice one,

> Taking shower
> finish shower, looking for a towel on the shelf
> not much towels in the stack, all in the wash
> grab last towel
> dry my feet before i leave
> walk out of the bathroom towards my room
> proceed to open it to dry myself
> big ass spider falls out as i open it
> it lands on my inner thigh
> heart stops
> React to slapping the spider
> Sac myself in the process
> Everything but my feet are wet
> Nobody can see my tears
#76 - zash
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Isn't that a Silverfish? they're harmless from what I know, there all over my area. Woke up with one on my arm and freaked though. Thumb for you.
User avatar #78 to #76 - rachaelalana [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Thank you, sir!
#79 to #78 - zash
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
No problem ^^
User avatar #80 to #76 - nijd
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
It's a house centipede. They're also completely harmless but they still give me chills. Had a small infestation in my old house. Good news is, they eat other insects and they were the only insects in the house, lol.
#84 to #80 - stizz **User deleted account**
+15 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #81 to #76 - jacefacey
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
That's not a silver fish. That's a house centipede. They eat silver fish and cockroaches.
#90 to #81 - Bobtheblob
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#59 - azsolii
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Holy crap guys, calm the **** down!

First off, that's not a silverfish. A silverfish is the creature on the left. They're usually about an inch long at most and are often found in old books nomming on the pages.

The creature on the right (which is in the OC) is a house centipede. This little guys actually are GOOD to have in the house. They nom on spiders, silverfish, cockroaches, ants, and so forth. They're not often seen out in the open unless they're hunting for prey. Else, they're usually hidden in the shadows. Also? They usually don't bite, because they usually can't penetrate human skin. In the cases when they do (and you'd have to literally PUSH THE DAMN THING AGAINST YOUR SKIN), it's usually no worse than a bee sting.

TL;DR: Calm the **** down. House Centipedes are not only good, they're fairly harmless if you leave them alone.
#120 to #59 - stoffanator
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
it's usually no worse than a bee sting
usually no worse than a bee sting
no worse than a bee sting
bee sting

**** you
#67 to #59 - pupito
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
Harmless if left alone?
I took that advice once, and left the house centipede in our kitchen alone.
Because I let it live, it had babies.
I then had not only one, but hundreds.
#211 to #67 - pineappletime
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
same thing happened with a spider in my bathroom.
#70 - bronydash
Reply +18 123456789123345869
(06/14/2012) [-]
#204 - skuser
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
You lost a glorious opportunity to add "the game" on that text....
#221 to #204 - generalrevan
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
#210 to #204 - doomfish
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
User avatar #244 - muffinsauce
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
>be chopping wood for my grandparents
>feel a little brush on my leg
>tell myself it's just a leaf or something
>feel another brush higher up on my leg
>decide to actually look
>it's one of those *************
>immediately take all of my clothes off
>run into my grandparents house completely naked
>jump into the shower
>grandma comes outside to check on me while I'm in the shower
>sees my clothes on the ground and me nowhere to be found
>calls the police
>they arrive and find me in the kitchen
>they completely understood and we laughed it off
User avatar #247 to #244 - rachaelalana [OP]
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
Hahahahaha :'3 And i'm so sorry bro, that sucks man.
#140 - mistyfyx
Reply +16 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
That moment when your pooping, and one of those little dickheads come scuttling out from under your feet.
So you akwardly start flailing on the toilet like a roaring thunder cunt, because you cant move due to your excrement-covered bottom.
#197 - rachaelalana [OP]
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
My first OC and it's front page?? Thank you so much :D I love you all!!!

....As long as you aren't that creepy ****** that crawled over my foot
User avatar #222 to #197 - Lightclaw
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
Remember that time you hit me with your foot?







Yeah, I remember that too...
#213 to #197 - pineappletime
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
sup
#276 - evanistheman
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
Did anyone else read the entire slue of curse words at the end?
Did anyone else read the entire slue of curse words at the end?
#278 to #276 - madjackal
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(06/15/2012) [-]
yes