Annnnd i'm moving. .. So a snake notices that the loud ass kookaburra is waking you up in the morning. Then he tries to help by taking the bird out and your like this I'm moving. You
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User avatar #7 - damonisgay (05/26/2012) [-]
So a snake notices that the loud ass kookaburra is waking you up in the morning. Then he tries to help by taking the bird out and your like **** this I'm moving. You rude twat.
User avatar #13 to #7 - drakesblood (05/26/2012) [-]
Except there is no way that is a kookaburra, and kookaburras eat snakes anyway. I have one kill a snake before, they're brutal.
the bird there has the right colouration to be a native noisy minah.
User avatar #16 to #13 - drakesblood (05/26/2012) [-]

User avatar #18 to #16 - damonisgay (05/26/2012) [-]
Oh sorry I don't go bird watching, I yield to your relentless persuite of accuracy when making jokes on the internet.
User avatar #19 to #18 - drakesblood (05/26/2012) [-]
I don't go bird watching either, I just grew up in the bush, in an area that had both types of birds. I just thought you might like to know what kind of bird it was. And I wouldn't call two comments a "relentless pursuit of accuracy". As it is I only corrected two people in the comments, you and some other guy. I didn't go through all the comments. Are you upset because I didn't get a picture to go with yours?

Are you a fellow Aussie btw? Just out of curiosity.
User avatar #20 to #19 - damonisgay (05/26/2012) [-]
If by Aussie you mean Australian than yes I am. I also grew up in rural Australia. Far North Queensland to be exact but never paid attention to the fauna due to my laziness.
User avatar #24 to #20 - drakesblood (05/26/2012) [-]
I grew up in a rural area in North-East NSW without mains electricity, so I didn't have much else to do at the time but watch the local wild-life. That is why I don't find it difficult to tell between a kookaburra and a native noisy miner, since they are a different size and colour, and are only vaguely the same shape.
User avatar #198 to #24 - deltadeltadelta (05/26/2012) [-]
I don't know why either of you or anyone decides to remain in Australia. It's a brutal land where everything wants to kill you. Spiders the size of basketballs and the sun is 10 inches away from your face. It's a god forsaken place.

I get freaked out by any spider larger than a dime.
User avatar #260 to #198 - NinjaPlease (05/26/2012) [-]
Australia is AMAZING though, I had went for two and a half weeks last summer and I gotta tell you the experience was absolutely phenomenal.
User avatar #262 to #260 - deltadeltadelta (05/26/2012) [-]
You're lucky you didn't die from a spider bite or skin cancer.
User avatar #267 to #262 - NinjaPlease (05/26/2012) [-]
But you must remember, in the world people tend to stretch the truth. Like how they say it's not safe to enter Mexico and what not, but if you go there, chances are unless you are involved in some kind of gang/cartel/drug related business, you're gonna be fine. I was perfectly safe in Australia, I had pet some kangaroos, fed crocodiles, all kinds of stuff.
#101 - galkawhm ONLINE (05/26/2012) [-]
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User avatar #249 - subaqueousreach (05/26/2012) [-]
So here's what you do:

First you slap that dead bird out of the snakes mouth, pick it up and eat it yourself while the snake watches.

You've just established a challenge for dominance. The snake will likely try to psych you out with subtle movements. Ignore this. The snake is trying to use it's mind powers.

Now while it's trying to hypnotize you, reverse the effects by mirroring it's every movement until the two of you are in total sync. The snake won't know what the **** is going on, so it will just keep up the routine.

This is the time to strike. The snake will be so mesmerized by your movements that it won't have the time to react. You must briskly grab the snake by the head, but be wary of it's teeth. You don't want to get bit if it's poisonous.

The tail may be a problem. Judging from the size of this snake it can probably get a vice grip on your arm or leg or even your waist and may cut off circulation to certain appendages.

To avoid this you must insert your finger into the snakes anus. This will cause the snake to force a bowel movement. As gross as it may be, keep your finger in that anus at all costs. I mean it.

The snake will be so overwhelmed by this forced penetration that it may begin to thrash wildly. This is what you want.

Without losing grip on the snake (both head and anus) raise it into the air above your head and proclaim loudly "I am Serpentor!"

The snake will pass out and fall limp. After a couple hours it will awake and be ready to serve you, its new master. You can now send it off as a missionary and it will indoctrinate new, more powerful snakes to your cause.
#252 to #249 - betothetroll (05/26/2012) [-]
Good point, my friend. if only i had bacon for your intelligence. heres a thumb.
#68 - tailsx (05/26/2012) [-]
**tailsx rolled a random image posted in comment #5042188 at FJ Pony Thread ** that's kinda awesome
#173 - carnagejc (05/26/2012) [-]
Don't know why everyone is terrified, its awesome.   
I love snakes   
Don't know why everyone is terrified, its awesome.

I love snakes

#154 - waterlinx (05/26/2012) [-]
Oh, I see you have a cool roof guardian.  Maybe we can feed my hamster to it?
Oh, I see you have a cool roof guardian. Maybe we can feed my hamster to it?
#183 to #154 - crawlingninjabear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#123 - clockninja (05/26/2012) [-]
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#63 - dehymenator (05/26/2012) [-]
That'll teach you to **** on my car bitch.
#133 - Schadenfreude (05/26/2012) [-]
#137 to #133 - grimmwaters ONLINE (05/26/2012) [-]
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#164 to #157 - garykn (05/26/2012) [-]
Oh hey guys what's going on in thi- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Oh hey guys what's going on in thi- AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
#210 - Webahitla (05/26/2012) [-]
**Webahitla rolls 99**
#212 to #210 - musicbook has deleted their comment [-]
#72 - johnnyred (05/26/2012) [-]
Pretty ironic how this post is right after this one
User avatar #96 to #72 - WolfPrince (05/26/2012) [-]
Yay my post is next!
#92 to #72 - anon (05/26/2012) [-]
not if you know what irony means
#11 - camwilskel (05/26/2012) [-]
*******		 australia, i hate living here
******* australia, i hate living here
#25 to #11 - Cooey (05/26/2012) [-]
Then get the **** out.
#26 to #25 - porridgesque (05/26/2012) [-]
As seen, stuck to the back of most Holden Commodores.
#27 to #26 - Cooey (05/26/2012) [-]
As seen, on the barbecue, next to the Kangaroo while cooking snags.
#28 to #27 - porridgesque (05/26/2012) [-]
As seen, down by the pub, served cold and often with coke.
#29 to #28 - hottea (05/26/2012) [-]
**hottea rolled a random image posted in comment #5815 at Social Board ** mfw the second one is OP rum
#128 to #29 - watuppig (05/26/2012) [-]
brutal stuff bro, ***** your throat on the way in and your ass on the way out.
#119 - Ulmer (05/26/2012) [-]
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User avatar #99 - tomhefailin (05/26/2012) [-]
why? thats aweesome. ekans use bite on spearow!
#263 - thatstraightop **User deleted account** (05/26/2012) [-]
How unappreciative. The snake has seen that bird ******** on your car, and decided to help you.
<What the snake is.
#276 to #263 - killyojoy (05/27/2012) [-]
<---(I don't have a blank one)
#30 - killyojoy (05/26/2012) [-]
I live in Texas so copperheads, copperheads everywhere.
User avatar #32 to #30 - sexybarracuda (05/26/2012) [-]
Almost got bit by one of those ******* . Scared the **** outta me.
#245 to #32 - killyojoy (05/26/2012) [-]
Same I was walking out in the drive way (Barefoot) then one that was at least 2 feet long starting coiling up (me not even seeing it). So then it stuck at me luckily it missed and I survived that night but my underwear didn't.
User avatar #274 to #245 - sexybarracuda (05/27/2012) [-]
I guess you could say there was a little brown coil in your shorts afterwards.
#238 - lolmasterx (05/26/2012) [-]
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#170 - dollydagger (05/26/2012) [-]
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