Best Comebacks In History. One word, two word, red word, blue word.. SDMB DE THE BEST ll HISTERY DAMN VS. SM! RANDEH LADY AT A WHITE MUSE DINNER Woman: MMW, id  no
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Best Comebacks In History

Best Comebacks In History. One word, two word, red word, blue word.. SDMB DE THE BEST ll HISTERY DAMN VS. SM! RANDEH LADY AT A WHITE MUSE DINNER Woman: MMW, id

One word, two word, red word, blue word.

Tags: no
SDMB DE THE BEST
ll HISTERY
DAMN VS. SM! RANDEH LADY AT A
WHITE MUSE DINNER
Woman: MMW, id C, ll t? made H bet
agaist fl t' cll" rha, soul was
impossible to ger, moire than two words
Coolidge: You lose. _
CHURCHILL VS. A MEMBER DE 'fl,'
MP: Mr. Churchill, must you fall
Churchill: Nd '' sparely voluntary.
ill;
E Churchill: , Heme
ugly But toinen' o\\' . I' ll be sober.
skill be ugly "
i' luh. lle HAZARD VS. TI ADMIN!
Admire: ; [kn Mann. I am
Can you give me ' to
ho“ In an stalled?
Mozart: A symphony 15 it my complex mm
Perhaps you should begin “ill: some simple wmm and
uvek yum way up to an symphony,
Admirer: But Hen Mosaic, you urn:
ashen you M as S wan» old,
Mozart: Yes, but I Iit: VCI an) body how
TNMMAS REED VS. HENRY MN
In (' Mra Imus in “Hill TD MD!
REVEREND EDWARD EVERETT HALE VS. THE Jha SENATE
No. I Irrhl? the Senators
and may (thm the country."
not ASKED If Hi mm: ml THE warm
SHAWN FRITZ VS. HEN“
WEI manure» Iv HTS , amour will mm m IO", A DIME .
DOROTHY PARKER VS. NEW YORKER EDITH! HARDED TESS
I' m too ******* busy, and
vice versa."
My Ill an luv an In um In I DWI ism.
DEAR WINE VS. LEWIS HARRIS
...
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Views: 81273
Favorited: 836
Submitted: 05/07/2012
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Comments(276):

[ 276 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#19 - madsnyeng (05/07/2012) [-]
Best on is between the two cricketers Glenn McGrath and Eddo Brandes

GM: Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?
EB: because every time I sleep with your wife, she gives me a biscuit.
#111 to #19 - lessthanthreecmt (05/07/2012) [-]
i always thought he asked "Why are you such a fat **** ?"
User avatar #190 to #19 - iisammehii (05/07/2012) [-]
I'm pretty sure that's just a rip from a TV series.

"That's right, every time I shag your wife she makes me a sandwich"

I could be wrong depending on when each quote was said, when was this Eddo Brandes one said?
User avatar #145 to #19 - iloverapingmen (05/07/2012) [-]
Does someone else on Funnyjunk watch cricket?
#193 to #145 - avyon (05/07/2012) [-]
i would if i knew what chanel it was aired on in america, but sadly it is not a major sport over here and somehow baseball is.
i would if i knew what chanel it was aired on in america, but sadly it is not a major sport over here and somehow baseball is.
#13 - RandomDoofus (05/07/2012) [-]
Moral of the story: Churchill is 			*******		 badass.
Moral of the story: Churchill is ******* badass.
User avatar #298 to #13 - brianhanerjr (05/08/2012) [-]
No, the moral of the story is... You can't trust the system!


...MAAAANNNN!!!
#110 - lolfire (05/07/2012) [-]
The best story I've heard about Churchill is when he walked into a bathroom and walked out less than a minute later.

A woman turned to him shocked and said "Mr Churchill, that was incredibly fast, you couldn't have washed your hands. We were taught always to wash our hands after using the bathroom!"

Churchill turned to the woman and said "My dear, where I'm from we were always taught not to piss on our hands."
User avatar #5 - brockyboi (05/07/2012) [-]
Woman: If you were my husband, I would poison your drink
Churchill: If you were my wife, I would drink it.
That's my favorite comeback.
#142 to #5 - anon (05/07/2012) [-]
Moral of the story: Churchill is ******* badass.
#160 to #142 - grutloo (05/07/2012) [-]
Great copypasta of the 2. top comment.
Great copypasta of the 2. top comment.
#169 to #160 - anon (05/07/2012) [-]
Either your blind or have a terrible memory, even though 2 Churchill quotes were used that one wasn't, the guy's a dissing machine
#212 to #169 - anotherjoenobody (05/08/2012) [-]
he said "2nd top comment"
and he was right, faggot.
#179 to #169 - grutloo (05/07/2012) [-]
what? anon just commented the same as the 2. top comment?

<-- think you forgot this
#192 to #142 - crazypat (05/07/2012) [-]
Moral of the story: Anon is a ******* dumbass.
#79 - SubjectThree (05/07/2012) [-]
Scene: Illinois

Drunk man: I promised myself if I ever met a man uglier than me, I should kill him.

Abraham Lincoln: Go ahead, if I really am uglier than you, then I don't want to live.
+63
#55 - BuddyTorre **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #12 - eikedoffen (05/07/2012) [-]
You can never trust quote on the internet
- Abraham Lincoln
#205 to #12 - anon (05/07/2012) [-]
this is for you
#59 to #12 - jakb (05/07/2012) [-]
Good sir i think you'll find the quote is actually
"The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot confirm their validity."
#103 to #101 - jakb (05/07/2012) [-]
I was correcting a quote which was obviously made up, i was being sarcastic...
#37 - azusa (05/07/2012) [-]
#216 to #37 - anon (05/08/2012) [-]
ur gay
User avatar #217 to #216 - azusa (05/08/2012) [-]
... What?
#219 to #217 - anon (05/08/2012) [-]
...

-jope
#53 to #37 - anon (05/07/2012) [-]
holy **** at first glance i assumed this was vladmir putin
User avatar #54 to #53 - azusa (05/07/2012) [-]
I can't unsee this now.

Thanks, anon.
User avatar #173 to #127 - stallwallwriter (05/07/2012) [-]
Read this in Patrick Stewart's voice = best part of my night.
#74 - itotallylold (05/07/2012) [-]
Winston Churchill
#89 - hauntzor (05/07/2012) [-]
another Churchill quote:

Woman: If I were ever your wife, I'd poison your coffee!
Churchill: And if I were your husband, I'd drink it.
User avatar #7 - SlowpokeForever (05/07/2012) [-]
Maybe I'm the only one, but.

Oh Wilde you glorious conversational bastard you :D
User avatar #9 to #7 - madeyegubbins (05/07/2012) [-]
I love Oscar.

User avatar #223 - absoluteoctane (05/08/2012) [-]
I dont always browse the Internet, but when I do, it's FunnyJunk.

-Helen Keller
#186 - tranminh (05/07/2012) [-]
"Our arrows will blot out the sun."


"Then we will fight in the shade."

Before the battle of Thermopylae, Leonidas' General to a Persian messenger
User avatar #196 to #186 - redwolfradolf (05/07/2012) [-]
Athenians: Your tme is up, shall we come as friends or as enemies
Spartans: Neither
User avatar #200 to #186 - roninpenguin (05/07/2012) [-]
Just so you know who this quote is from a spartan warrior named Dienekes. There is debate over whether he actually said this but the author Herodotus accredits him with it (as well as that being the first quotation) and that is about as close as we are to come to an actual source.
User avatar #201 to #200 - rwnewton (05/07/2012) [-]
There is proof that this quote was actually said by Dienekes. Most of the 300 movie was fabricated for hollywood purposes but this quote was said.
User avatar #211 to #201 - roninpenguin (05/08/2012) [-]
Can you please provide me a link? The earliest piece that I have seen the quote is Herodotus' Histories which he put together about 20 years after the battle and while it is a VERY good source there is some speculation (or at least was when I was studying it) that some of it was added to give the Histories more "Flavor" and this may have been added by him.

And why the heck am I getting red thumbs just because I added detail to the quote?
#141 - iseeafaggot **User deleted account** (05/07/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#102 - Tspdog (05/07/2012) [-]
"It's not what your country can do for you, its what you can do for your country"


-Wernher Von Braun
#104 to #102 - redarmy (05/07/2012) [-]
< mfw I see what you did thar.
-7
#107 to #102 - colonelbyers has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #132 to #107 - mrsirandsir (05/07/2012) [-]
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet"

- George Washington
User avatar #140 to #132 - CountRugen (05/07/2012) [-]
That was actually Abe Lincoln...the internet wasn't around when G Dubs was president...
#143 to #102 - anon (05/07/2012) [-]
My historical-loving jimmies were indeed rustled.
#34 - doopleganger (05/07/2012) [-]
Mfw Winston Churchill's awesome comebacks
Mfw Winston Churchill's awesome comebacks
#207 - jedic (05/07/2012) [-]
**** comebacks. Be like Preston Brooks and beat 'em up with a cane if they're being mouthy.
#159 - whalefister (05/07/2012) [-]
best quote
User avatar #197 to #159 - redwolfradolf (05/07/2012) [-]
That one always brings a little tear to my eye.....
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