Jimpulse. .. -be on bus with grandma -going to the grocery store like a baus -gonna make some cookies -we come to our stop -she gets off before me -brain "You know if y
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#44 - anon (04/24/2012) [-]
>Be holding baby nephew
>Brain: Hey anon, know what you should do?
>Me: Dammit brain, not again...
>Brain: Hear me out, man... Snap the baby's neck.
>Me: What the hell brain?
>Brain: What? You could totally do it.

Different Day

>Be brushing teeth
>Brain: Hey, anon...
>Me: Don't start, brain.
>Brain: It'd be awesome if you slammed your face in the mirror.
>Me: Da fuq brain?
>Brain: Bitches would love the scars...

Some time later...

>Brain: Hey, anon, you know what'd be cool?
>Me: Omg, brain, fok off.
>Brain: Anon pls.
User avatar #333 to #44 - kiddelicious (04/25/2012) [-]
You are funny. Get an account.
#293 to #44 - wetmouth (04/25/2012) [-]
>be working as dishwasher
>minding my own business
>new cook looks like hes in deep thought
>see him look over at me
>he decides to fill pot with fryer oil and throw it at me
>apologizes and says it was impulse and made wrong decision
>had to go to hospital for third degree burns
>forgave him because i know that feel

User avatar #206 to #44 - stumphyjr (04/25/2012) [-]
My name is Brian, and I read every single one of those as my name...
#142 to #44 - gimmebackmygoose (04/24/2012) [-]
mfw anon pls
#18 - thechosentroll (04/24/2012) [-]
This image has expired
Alternetively, you can just procrastinate. Right brain?
"Kill your family!"
Later.
#6 - DmOnZ (04/24/2012) [-]
-be on bus with grandma
-going to the grocery store like a baus
-gonna make some ************ ***************** cookies
-we come to our stop
-she gets off before me
-*brain* "You know if you pushed her off the bus right now, she'd probably break her hip*
-WTF BRAIN
-*brain* "do it"
-NO BRAIN
-*brain* "imagine her crying"
- **** YOU BRAIN, I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO KI...
-*grandma* "Hey dearie, are you coming?"
-"Yes granny"
-MFW my brain tried to make me break my grandmothers hip
#353 to #6 - Surreal (04/29/2012) [-]
>giving 4 year old nephew a bath
>splashes me
>"you could totally hold him underwater"
>what?
>"you could totally hold him underwater. he weighs like 30 pounds. it would make no noise."
>BRAIN WHAT STOP
>"you'd never have to babysit again."
>wrap up bath time and send nephew to bed
#254 to #6 - bwarexsniper (04/25/2012) [-]
when looking at that picture i immediately thought of these guys with the song "killing in the name" and then thought of san andreas.
#247 to #6 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (04/25/2012) [-]
>Be with father
>Doing stuff with his car
>Ihavenoideawhatimdoing.jpeg
>We are getting tools out of box thing
>Large hammer right next to me
>Brain says "Hey, you should hit him over the head with the hammer:
>NO **** , WHAT?
>"Do it do it do it"
>HOLY **** BRAIN THATS ******* MURDER
>"You should hit him several times"
>WHAT THE ACTUAL ****
>Mfw I could be a potentially dangerous sociopath
#168 to #6 - dopesauceshit (04/25/2012) [-]
goddammit brain.
#46 to #6 - TheNorwegianSmurf (04/24/2012) [-]
When I read it I was worried you actually did it.
When I read it I was worried you actually did it.
#123 - hauntzor (04/24/2012) [-]
>be me
>having conversation with male friend, my dad, basically anyone else who's a man such as myself
>receive brainwave:
>"I could grab this ****** and kiss him, straight on the mouth like a new bride while shoving my tongue straight down his throat and he couldn't do a damn thing about it"
>impulse vanishes as soon as it's conceived
>why brain, why
#112 - iamphoenix (04/24/2012) [-]
"You could throw her to the ground, rape her repeatedly and then stab her until she bleeds to death."
"Stop it brain, I'm at the nursing home."
User avatar #3 - xenophaigus ONLINE (04/24/2012) [-]
I have the weird impulse to smash people's faces into the counter while I'm at work. WTF brain?
#265 - MrFrolo (04/25/2012) [-]
>At school
>Hot chick bends over friend's desk
>Brain: "You know, you can **** that ass right now".
>Me:"Wtf brain... Why would I do that?"
>Brain:"Cmon, It's right there begging for your penis"
>Me:"Well...."
>Brain:"I bet she'll like it"
>Pretend to trip, fall on her, and rub hard penis against her ass.
>She thinks it was an accident.
>Jacked the **** off later.
>Best. Day. Ever.

#290 to #265 - anon (04/25/2012) [-]
Tried that a week ago, failed miserably
#295 to #265 - ZenMacros (04/25/2012) [-]
In case anyone wants sauce on the girl, her name in Helga Tocaro and the set is called "Ass Beyond Belief." Look it up and you'll find a huge set of really hot pics.
#272 to #265 - potatotown (04/25/2012) [-]
oh my... magnificent
#182 - duchessofcorn (04/25/2012) [-]
>In kitchen with my sister
>Slicing vegetables
> Think how easy it would be to crawl over the counter and slit her throat.
>Stare at her for a second and grasp knife harder
>Then snap out of it
>What the **** just happened?
#197 to #182 - walkedintomordor (04/25/2012) [-]
I lol'd hard at that picture.
I lol'd hard at that picture.
#207 to #197 - bigshoesdotcom (04/25/2012) [-]
God I love this series. I hope season 3 doesn't take as long to come out as season 2 did.
#214 to #207 - anon (04/25/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #4142985 at FJ Pony Thread **   
   
It's supposed to be out early 2013 I hear.
**anonymous rolled a random image posted in comment #4142985 at FJ Pony Thread **

It's supposed to be out early 2013 I hear.
#218 to #214 - bigshoesdotcom (04/25/2012) [-]
I can deal with a year wait.
#210 to #207 - walkedintomordor (04/25/2012) [-]
Tell me about it. I can't deal with stuff like that.
Tell me about it. I can't deal with stuff like that.
#215 to #210 - bigshoesdotcom (04/25/2012) [-]
I'm guessing that when The Hobbit finishes filming in a few months that BBC will want both Cumberbatch and Freeman asap. At least, that's what I hope they do. :3   
   
   
Btw, I love the gif's. I'm keeping them. :D
I'm guessing that when The Hobbit finishes filming in a few months that BBC will want both Cumberbatch and Freeman asap. At least, that's what I hope they do. :3


Btw, I love the gif's. I'm keeping them. :D
User avatar #217 to #215 - walkedintomordor (04/25/2012) [-]
They better. If they take longer than they need to, I will go on a rampage.

And thanks, I have a gigantic folder devoted to BC and this show.
#75 - TheCodFather (04/24/2012) [-]
related, highly.   
   
>in passenger seat of car   
>brain: Dude   
>me: Yeah?   
>brain: you could totally quickly unbuckle your dads seat belt then yank the wheel down   
>Me: NONONONORESIST BITE LIP PINCH LEG LOOK OUT WINDOW DONT DO IT   
>brain: im getting to you...one day ill win, you'll  see.
related, highly.

>in passenger seat of car
>brain: Dude
>me: Yeah?
>brain: you could totally quickly unbuckle your dads seat belt then yank the wheel down
>Me: NONONONORESIST BITE LIP PINCH LEG LOOK OUT WINDOW DONT DO IT
>brain: im getting to you...one day ill win, you'll see.
#45 - Nails (04/24/2012) [-]
Usually when I walk by people who are bending over, I think "Smack her butt."

I've always wondered what would happen.
User avatar #58 to #45 - redneckhokage (04/24/2012) [-]
honest to god true story, my parents was letting this red headed milf stay with us and i had that exact same impulse idea while she was bent over unpacking, and i did it, she turned around looked at me with a smile, later that night she came in my room and we ****** all night. moral of my story: go for it
#71 to #58 - sleepymata (04/24/2012) [-]
and then you woke up
User avatar #73 to #67 - redneckhokage (04/24/2012) [-]
i knew i wouldnt be believed but i swear its true
#16 - suckmyanon (04/24/2012) [-]
When I'm in the kitchen I think about how I could grab a knife and kill everyone and nobody would be able to defend themselves .. then I feel disgusted at myself for thinking about it.
User avatar #37 to #16 - theaddviser (04/24/2012) [-]
i don't
#61 to #37 - dnbvchemo (04/24/2012) [-]
that's a tough statment...

still funny tit-for-tat response
#274 - jremzthedragon (04/25/2012) [-]
>Be driving car
>friend in passenger seat refuses to buckle
>annoying beeping sound indicating seatbelt is not buckled keeps going off
Brain: "hey you could totally drive right into that pole over there and send him flying, that'll show him to listen to you."
Me: "That might just be crazy enough to wo- HEY NOT THIS TIME BRAIN!"
MFW I finally fall for it...
+28
#118 - jmrking **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #300 to #118 - evilmagic (04/25/2012) [-]
I read Deli as Dell, because they look almost similar on my computer, and was like "Why the **** would an old lady be coming into a computer company to buy some meat?"
#35 - codyklim (04/24/2012) [-]
>Be in class
>Brain: Hey Cody?
>Cody: Yeah Brain?
>It would be really cool if you would get up and stab your bitch teacher in the eye with a pencil right now
>dafuq brain
>Later on at my house
>Hey Cody, you should drown your dog in the bathtub since it keeps whining for food
>BRAIN GO **** YOURSELF
never able to get over my brain's blooslust
#36 to #35 - codyklim (04/24/2012) [-]
bloodlust*
User avatar #47 to #35 - Awesomenessniss (04/24/2012) [-]
I read "never able to get over my brain's bloodslut.
#51 to #47 - codyklim (04/24/2012) [-]
bloodslut
blood slut
well **** me dry
#241 - ponaniwhisperer (04/25/2012) [-]
>Eating lunch liekabauz
>Kid throws Spanish rice all over my pony shirt
>in a mad fury i punch him in the face with all my might
>broken pinky finger
>he's unconscious
>everyone silent looking at me
>black monitor sees
>"Dayum, fool got decked"
>get away with crime
>MFW
#216 - barpmeep (04/25/2012) [-]
>sitting in class, start to daydream....   
>get up to turn test in   
>walking back to desk   
>douchebag trips me and i fall   
>whole class starts to laugh   
>grab douches pencil and jam it into his eye socket   
>i laugh maniacally   
>one by one each classmate gets out of their seat and charges at me   
>spend the rest of class daydreaming about massive kung fu fight using tools around the classroom at my disposal: staplers, rulers, pencil sharpener, etc   
>MFW when kung fu
>sitting in class, start to daydream....
>get up to turn test in
>walking back to desk
>douchebag trips me and i fall
>whole class starts to laugh
>grab douches pencil and jam it into his eye socket
>i laugh maniacally
>one by one each classmate gets out of their seat and charges at me
>spend the rest of class daydreaming about massive kung fu fight using tools around the classroom at my disposal: staplers, rulers, pencil sharpener, etc
>MFW when kung fu


User avatar #243 to #216 - thebeardguy (04/25/2012) [-]
I always seem to catch Kung Fu Hustle in the wee hours of the night when I am stoned as hell. Always fun to watch baked
#248 to #243 - barpmeep (04/25/2012) [-]
one of my  top ten movies
one of my top ten movies
#259 to #216 - natanhiel (04/25/2012) [-]
"MFW when"
"My face when when"
>MFW
#209 - lordgandalf (04/25/2012) [-]
MFW I see all these stories people post.
MFW I see all these stories people post.
+18
#62 - graywulf **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+11
#66 to #62 - graywulf **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#60 - koficola (04/24/2012) [-]
>Be 7, in school
>2 girls being mildly annoying
>Brain: You know what you should do?
>Me: Indulge me
>Brain: Kill 'em
>Me: I'm disappointed brain
>Brain: Kill their family's too
>Me: I want their family to suffer, this is too good for them
>Brain: I got nothin' then
>Me: Dafuq brain
I out scum-bagged scum bag brain.
I need help.
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