Don't Fuck Up. I think if someone drew our solar system like that, they would think our entire world had autism. You should probably enlarge it because it's a t
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Don't Fuck Up

I think if someone drew our solar system like that, they would think our entire world had autism.

You should probably enlarge it because it's a tough thing to read just as it is. All dedz to ian@ You need to login to view this link . Not real sure who/what that is. Whatever, enjoy.

-Trojanmannn

LET' S (tillet"
RE THE FIRST HUMAN
EVER TO Col) ' r
yea, imod, prettymuch. moods»; ian' tgod' . broteam. btl. . . mtd& ? weii, fame:
MOST HIST ARIANS
AND SCIENTISTS
AGREE THIS WOULD BE
THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT
Pill ALL OF Hll,, " ORY'
in fact. he generally
accepted that in
to come. " of history would
instead of the we t '. . At the point, the aliens viii know we' re
distinction's use new. ..,..I" £ somewhat . Rut let' s face in 'l' '
so, to put it one way; spam a few hours on some kind of alien craft and
re going to be the most you want to got home and probably take a
III , or an was twot n s: as our ire to earn at
Tl',', day you man will We in through all 'i, ? cillit' ,' iitt,' as t sir spokesperson for the
cultures and civilizations. for eat as the . . the throat _
Draw Emmi similar to what' s on the left
ill “hm” appetites here. It' ll let the etat" ' tre know that we
BUT TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT THAT archenemy. Make an otter around the third not
fen will get nervous tip. that keep from the sun; That way tit I know we under-
e few key poets in your head and try to keep your cool. stand our place. That' s tee , really important
Side note: Make the orbit an oval. not a circle.
HOLD THE @!&#$ STILL I it mt"
in the Universe is ',' This will show
The aliens not be one used to till shelling like may 'dit','? that “E " Comms, 5 c, tmd wiring tgs
and in to one . e lmost It have tolled u a moe debout ttm cosmos.
fish are ( g, it its Ike an Idiot on I it CE)
tied. They know this is what non so -aware organisms do.
Holding still is the liest thing you need to do to show them .2, at
we' re worth our weight in wags its ta
also. some basic stealer we tell you why you don' t a SOME
need to panic'. Between the insane rate at which I
advances. and the massive of one a species most I: D AM NED ') a,
exist to have titres h space. the odds that we
will be '' ' ll' gfle' , within s. eeo years of the aliens are E
roughly absolute zero. Think about it the w t It won' t be I y C) in
lasers vs. machine guns", it' ll be more Ike “nuclear m _ u: ttd)
weapons vs. span . The fact that you' re still alive will
mean t are g rm on allow us to atrial. Fighting them, To conclude. you' re who to
Insulter ' eject going to happen. Relax and make need to let the aliens know we' ' -'
the count. unearthed our own evolutionary
we panic when you see them. They' re going to look mete . Put your at feelings Urls'
weird, if they have physical bodies at all. They likely won' t aside ate: on not we an alien race
look like anything that has ever evolved on Earth. Hold still, in the eyes {wees} and tell them the
be deliberate, and react cautiously. universe was created for us.
A good number of scientists believe the mi ht be the
NEXT UP: FINDING A MEDIUM "Ultimate" agent. In sew. bar by Etti' ihs' legl' t, t .....e.
measure so -awareness. wanna we were
I I WEI
Th s are Innovate. and were be this to Emma“ A nuit' tee dmin ' , 'lfi' J' ',
through sounds. and may not even hear the frequencies we
talk thro h. language. with its the syntax. won' t
do. Feel e to talk. but knew that this will just hm the
aliens it general feel for how we sound. Tau won' t e able
to oenu ideas at first,
In aliens seem to respond to visible tight, writing
things down is r best bet. Toll can tell whether they : L
respond to min a light b checking out their let: . is
it in an{ is it ? falt, 1 or decorated L
with text of some ind It so. on T, that makes things
If not, they meet Hillel respond to other types of {draw something In this
red alien. Thorsten her. You I need to use rocks, or other to In them, lovely we went
ob acts. to communicate. to mean}
b? you should probably tht your
own pen. If they provide any k ltd of
writing mechanism, it won' t Itt,
it y
TIME TO GET OUTTA
The hardest part is over. New its time to get back to
So h thy, I at Itr, 000 of , ttwtt that shorter. and become the most famous
they' ll sure E **** know his theorem. T a right triangle will
show our alien venom. without any doubt. that humans are
r Get dropped off in a major city
if ' bl tom one strata trials
them get quite the reaction I
out of them. Label the sides I I
as such. They' ll probably
love that Forget your pen. or
do the aliens only respond to It
gamma radiation? Well than
you' ll need to males do. Get a dollar HI and some coinage?
be tau ' since they won' t know what a mic
is, what north or someth are, or and
longitude. 'P/ / / gill'; hands is also not
you friend here. as: -‘T the local
inkscape or co no. as t rally ems-
sizzle. Tell baii. ' should be made o s.
Time he get deans. Fold up a an as
fll, ' l clubs late makes Stat
angerpull' e
lagt, " ff your mm,“ the mm , r Involve the local news
Matt be major "Emit timy may of Interests parties , military, new
league. feel bad; meets Einstein. . picture, even, "OWS the
we matta t: in ‘ . meet person
sand. something like this might suffice:
tint's' H. “May , a I " a" r Seriously? No pop culture references
stand that we' re a
kinda species. and with any Err” “El dro off in front ofa ', ', t of
lost. that can More who our " to to at g. on 'dig Sfl' ' lle 'rall' ill WEE 'i' f' r' rt.
tehkiller WW” T 'lg' i' ' A' i doesn' t deserve that. keep your
l! Timy might prtsc We , " first, immortal words something simple:
hm“ in ytou, M no "They' re peaceful”, “we' made contact“. you
Pt, tta "M' new something that' go on to plague. if
mt? , tta iain you' re dro pod off in a foreign country
you said. Don' t start grl. Itting or attempt to
kind of obvious have no idea" ashes. so they can tell
when you' re in way over m h . highly suggest
you yourse with basic and algebra
now, so you don' t make Earth look amit by not knowing
new to ttntt the diameter of a biggie‘ circle if you' re the first
they abduct.
Milli HIS STUFF
They won' t know who Einstein was but they' ll know atemt
raiser‘ . may won' t call it “Newton' s Laws“. but they' ll
know a out the conservation of energy. They won' t know
the Mona Leo. but 'll kniow Hydrogen has one proton.
The won' t know any our religions. but the I knew Pi is
lost anal. They won' t know the name “Danni , butthen' be
familiar with neutral selection. They' ll be familiar with
binary. but it won' t be zeros and ones. If they send u a
message with only two characters. repeating, that' s tr rm .
ideas miner fft' u' rt, chainletter is fri,' tlt' and
our "one'. universe enlists u
meter" or a "second" is. T 'll new mathematical
ate what its all taboo
speak the bit of French you teamed freshman
year.
You' ll probably be killed
1, . You' ll be the most importa.
human on Earth, and no matter what you do,
you' ll be extremely controversial. There we
simply too ma subversive parties who wot
want you don for whatever reason and
gear to ‘It most likely succeed eventually. There
tan with you can do about this one, sorry.
Reproduce as much as possible
its 1., titty, of t'. taig' t,' tgetit Whig?“ its
some kind race in the Tutors.
Descendants of '', has a
good ring to it, don' t you , Plus it' ll keep
...

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User avatar #1 - jewbob (04/24/2012) [+] (2 replies)
This deserves front page.
#4 - psychotimo (04/25/2012) [-]
true, deserves frontpage, is pure awesomness ^^ pretty sure that it wont get that far though, too many peeps will just go TL;DR and downvote or skip :'(

on another note: if i'm the first to make contact with them, at first i'd just hope they won't use me for experiments xP (i'd really hate the cliché anal probe and i just don't feel like being cut to pieces xP )

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