Choose your destiny. tags.. NONE OF THEM BECAUSE THEYRE STUPID Honestly, if you pick anything that you think "lol kill lotz of zombes hurr hurr i wil save humanty" then you're go description
Upload
Login or register
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (143)
[ 143 comments ]
Anonymous comments allowed.
64 comments displayed.
#47 - gammajk
Reply +4
(04/07/2012) [-]
NONE OF THEM BECAUSE THEYRE ******* STUPID

Honestly, if you pick anything that you think "lol kill lotz of zombes hurr hurr i wil save humanty" then you're going to die instantly. Have fun swinging a chainsaw around.
#3 - iamnits
Reply +4
(04/07/2012) [-]
1. a
2. c
3. d
4. b
5. a
6. b
7. c
#88 - danielzysix
Reply +3
(04/08/2012) [-]
C: Although ammunition isn't common, if you're accurate enough, you'll only need about a clip to make it through to places :/
C: silent as ****, no worries.
D: medium reach and durable, most katanas are fake and will break on contact. And even if it is real, its too long.
C: destroy stairs, zombies can't climb ******* ropes
B: Bikes make it easy to maneuver by zombies
C: easy to escape if problem, out in country
D: confident with my own survival skills and the others could ******* take my stuff and kill me. ( small body size and use for sex is a perk too of course ) :/
also the sex would definitely relieve you both of the stress brought on by post apocalyptic trauma.
#91 to #88 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Note, you can hide multiple people in a tank with no way of zombies entering, plus a bike with two people is a terrible idea in almost any situation. logic'd.
#108 to #91 - Zenos
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
yeah, then you run out of gas and food, that gun of yours is gonna start looking real friendly.
#97 to #91 - danielzysix
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
referencing the zombie survival guide:
The Motorcycle:
Definitely the best choice for fleeing an infested area. The motorcycle (specifically the dirt bike) can reach places inaccessible to four-wheeled vehicles (much less a ******* tank). Their speed and maneuverability allows them to be ridden right through a crowd of zombies. Their light weight allows them to be pushed for miles. Of course, they are drawbacks. Motorcycles have small gas tanks, and offer no protections whatsoever. The statistics show, however, that these are small disadvantages. When compared to other motorists attempting a zombie outbreak, dirt bike riders have a 23-1 survival rate. Sadly, 31 percent of the fatalities come from ordinary accident or crashing into a large group of zombies.

also, what're you gonna do when you run outta gas/food. you're gonna have a hell of a hard time getting out of that tank :/

logic'd bitch
#102 to #97 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
The zombie survival guide is extremely flawed... honestly I wouldn't use any of the weaponry on this list. A rugar 10/22 is the best choice, mainly because it fires a .22 lr and will destroy a zombies brain easily, as well as being the smallest and lightest round to carry.
#141 to #102 - lilnuggetbob
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
i know, i have a .22 rifle that carries 8 shots and only weighs about 5 pounds, i woud use that.
#113 to #102 - Zenos
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
The guide actually supports your .22 and almost ALL weapons can easily destroy a zombies brain, the problem starts when your ruger attracts zombies for blocks, unlike a crossbow or melee weapon
#119 to #113 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Do you know how quiet a silenced .22 is? Also I would be out in the country, it's my home and I probably at most have to kill the 1,000 people in my town. But hey, they zombies now to whatevs xD
#111 to #102 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
but having shot a lot of .22, I wouldnt trust it to down a man. Much less one that is abnormally hard to kill. I have shot rodents with .22 and they sometimes still run away. 9mm is better, just because it has the stopping power and muzzle velocity to stop a man in his tracks. However, it is only a pistol round, meaning you would be limited to about 20 yards. (unless your day job is to shoot firearms. If not, you won't hit anything farther, much less pop a head shot)

If you take a 10/22, get bananna clips, and ******* pump five rounds per target. Dont get conservative, but dont get carried away. Thats the trick.

-Sincerely, A gun nut.
#115 to #111 - dppwrestler
Reply +1
(04/08/2012) [-]
Having shot many .22 rounds, you must understand what it does when fired into the skull. It doesn't pass through like a higher caliber round... it bounces around the skull, basically turning the brain to mush. Look it up on YouTube. Also, a .22 is effective up to about 100 yards, at least for someone who shoots them as much as me.

-Sincerely, someone who gets paid to shoot guns.
#123 to #115 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
But that's assuming that everyone could pick up a gun and get a head shot. Every time. As someone that shoots a lot, you should have an idea how often someone new to holding a gun get s a perfect bullseye their first go. Let alone every shot after. I can't even do that, and I have been shooting since I could hold a gun. Thats my take on it. The head shot would do the trick, I don't doubt that, but I don't see your average joe picking up a gun and being able to use it effectively like that.
#124 to #123 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
This is true, but remember in a zombie apocalypse with 3 billion zombies... 3 billion average joes have to go for there to end up with 3 billion zombies. In a situation like that, only the top are gonna survive, the smartest probably being the most well off :P
#127 to #124 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Excellent point. But my purpose is in the hopes of preserving more people form becoming a people burger. I would think a higher caliber with more muzzle velocity and more stopping power would be more effective, and to disregard head shots entirely and aim for the chest (biggest target) and hope to hit something important. May take more hits, but you will score more hits. And that by itself could help you mentally. If you miss, you become sloppy, and miss again. I find that is often my case. I usually have to pause and take deep breaths, and reset myself to make sure that next shot goes where I want it.

this is fun...
#128 to #127 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
This is fun as hell, but may I remind you of zombie misconception #1? To kill a zombie... you must destroy the brain. The whole key to becoming a zombie is a new organ developing in the frontal lobe of the brain to allow function with minimal need for internal organs.
#129 to #128 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Is that from the zombie guide?
#130 to #129 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
No, from the definition of the zombie causing disease, I forget what it is called though, so google away!
#131 to #130 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
I guess my view on it was always "it's kinda hard to chase me when your lungs are collapsed and spine shattered."

Lets assume its shoot the brain or nothing.

Immobilize them, then crown them.

If not an option, run.

If not an option, time to learn to shoot.
#132 to #131 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
This is not a bad philosophy, but I'm too old fashioned, I prefer a dead zombie rather than immobilized pet braindead human, although that sounds pretty sweet. Train him to like distract other zombies for me or something.
#134 to #132 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Can we start Z day already? Im pumped, lets do this!
#135 to #134 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Will anyone be mad if I "accidentally" infect the jersey shore cast and Justin Beiber just to start it off?
#136 to #135 - patchesdacrazy
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Only if someone else manages to shoot him first. Can we Immobilize him? PLEASE!
#109 to #102 - danielzysix
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
yes, but we were talking about a motorcycle compared to a motorcycle...
and yes, lightweight rifles are the best choice in my opinion
#112 to #109 - dppwrestler
Reply +2
(04/08/2012) [-]
Motorcycle vs Motorcycle? /thread
#114 to #112 - danielzysix
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
oh wow, derp.
I'm multitasking, video games, homework, and fj
give me a break
****motorcycle compared to a tank****
#118 to #114 - dppwrestler
Reply +1
(04/08/2012) [-]
Am I the only one that kinda wants to watch people jousting with katanas on motorcycles through a zombie apocalypse right now?
#34 - watuppig
Reply +2
(04/07/2012) [-]
alright my mate sent this to me on fb earlier so I prepared this earlier

some basic assumptions: romero type dawn of the dead zombies, but the current dead do not rise again only infection passed on to the living. if an infected doesn't feed for long enough it will die, assume about a month with 0 meat equals death, giving about 6 months minimum till all zombies are dead due to consumption of the rest of mankind, probably should wait 8 months from outbreak and minimum 1 month without seeing a zombie to be able to say you are truly safe

1. C- assault rifle, the sniper rifle is impractical to carry and is only useful at long distance in short range it can be a hindrance, really!? a rocket launcher?, while the shotgun is useful in close combat it has a low number of rounds and takes too much time to reload which is too risky.
2. A- basic handgun either is acceptable, the crossbow is unnecessary because the bolts will be unrecoverable and the ammunition for it will be difficult to acquire and the uzi will use too much ammo too quickly. the suppressed handgun would not be significantly better because suppressors do not silence a gun merely change the sound of the weapon which means nothing to a zombie.
3. D- machete, baseball bat requires too much time to kill a single zombie, katana slices deeply rather than cuts through and as such is ineffective on zombies, chainsaw is useless when out of fuel.
4. C- the rope, binoculars will be mainly unnecessary because almost all problems will occur in the immediate vicinity, torch will only attract more zombies and is a hazard, the Swiss army knife is incredibly useful but the rope will be even more necessary and most of the army knifes uses can be done albeit with difficulty by the machete.


#35 to #34 - watuppig
Reply +3
(04/07/2012) [-]
5. A- the hummer, the bike is simply too dangerous both in riding it and as its lack of protection, tank can turn into a prison as quickly as it could be protection as seen in episode 1 of the walking dead, the boat is laughably impractical with the terrain given
6. C- the farm, the forest while low on zombies will have very little supplies and it would be difficult to set up a base with which to survive the zombie invasion for 8 months. while the city has lots of supplies the high amount of zombies and low visibility render it a deathtrap which should only be entered in the most dire of situations. it could be possible to build a makeshift fence around the farm and be able to actually use the farm for farming allowing even longer survival there
7. A- Bear Grylls, he has much survival knowledge that i do not have, such as lighting a fire. Statham and Crews are basically zombie killing bad asses but other than that they will not allow us to survive the 8 months. Megan Fox is essentially useless for survival in this situation which is all we are focusing on here. I would kill and eat the fat kids myself, not for food but for fun and i don't have time for fun in this world.

of course different assumptions would mean different choices but with the assumptions i have made this is the best outcome
#40 to #35 - gjtz
Reply +3
(04/07/2012) [-]
I want you as my survival partner.
#54 to #35 - benbo
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
EVERYONE TEAM UP! Lets see us lose then!
#9 - seeteufel
Reply +3
(04/07/2012) [-]
Katana's are probably the worst melee weapon for a zombie apocalypse. The blades shatter way too easily and you have to sharpen it every few swings.

My martial arts Sensei, who is also the Global Chapter Leader of the Zombie Research Society, told us this when we were doing a weapons class one day. I'm going to go ahead and trust that guy's judgement about this sort of thing.

Just thought I'd let you katana enthusiasts know this.
Go with the bat.



#13 to #9 - lilnuggetbob
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
accualy a machete is better, not for killing, but for practical use. But for killing, yes the bat is good.
#39 to #13 - gjtz
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
Bat can get you through door and such though. Machete can as well, but after some work.
#44 to #39 - lilnuggetbob
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
a crowbar is much better
#22 to #9 - trostell
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
If you're going to carry a bat, you'd need at least some sort of Army-issue combat knife. The serrations on the knife make it ideal for hacking through ropes, and it's sturdy enough to be used as a lever for some less strenuous jobs. However, if you have a sturdy shortsword made to cut through steel plating, that'd be a better weapon than a bat, in my opinion.
#12 to #9 - Marowak
Reply +2
(04/07/2012) [-]
Not to mention you can't just swing a Katana and know how to use it instantly... that **** takes years of training... people are more likely to chop of their own heads than a zombies. (also most Katanas are fake for display rather than weapons, making them basically useless)
#16 to #12 - seeteufel
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
Lol, that is very true. From what I've learned from training with a bokken (wooden replica of a katana) You'd end up chopping off your leg from misuse. I've bruised myself with the things, if that was a real sword I'd be dead XD

The replica sword, which I have one, could be used for a few minutes as blunt objects, before the blade would break off. And it wouldn't be common for someone to just own a real, hand folded katana. They cost in the thousands. 8000$ for a really good one.
#84 - thechosenwon
Reply +2
(04/08/2012) [-]
Primary: C: Holds the most bullets, reliable, not too heavy, and munitions found in Walmart.

Secondary: C: Obviously a silenced pistol would be best in not attracting unwanted attention.

Melee: B: Sword because **** your zombies.

Gadget: B: Flashlight for night times.

Vehicle: C: Tank provides good protection, as well as potential heavy firepower.

Terrain: B: City area because there are stores in which food are kept, and secured buildings. Out in the country most homes are made of wood and don't even have door locks.

Teammate: D: Megan Fox...because it's Megan ******* Fox....Biggest fan right hurr.
#90 to #84 - anon
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
dude your retarded. your trying to be funny and your info isnt even factual
1. that son of a bitch is heavy
2. crossbows are silent too and you can snipe with it as well as silenced pistols are less acurate
3. not funny but reasonable
4. a flashlight wouldnt help you in the city and theres street lights
5. tanks are ******* slow and once you run out of bullet ammo there useless
6. theres food in farms and citys food can easily be infected where as a grain of wheat is immune
7. not funny and terry crews is a bad ass and with your sense of humor and lack of logic megan fox would never hook up with you

have i made myself clear?
#95 to #90 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Please... PLEASE... read my comment above. You may actually be the 4th most retarded being on this planet.
#99 to #90 - thechosenwon
Reply -1
(04/08/2012) [-]
If you're not in a city, where the **** do you plan to get ammo for that crossbow?
And as stated previously a tank is perfect protection you twat.
#93 to #84 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
I agree on most parts...
1: Agree, unless you are a pussy you can carry this weapon. Ammo weight does add up though, especially the 40mm.
2: Yes, also holds most ammo.
3:Yes, also it must be that katana because they can cut through a ton of ****.
4: Yes, for obvious reasons.
5: Yes, no way for a zombie to get in a tank.
6: You are mentally retarded since you would have millions of zombies surrounding you. I live in a fairly rural area, trust me, we all have locks and our homes may be made of wood but the **** is a zombie gonna do? Eat through the plastic siding and everything in between before they can reach sheet rock? They'll be head before they get through a layer of siding. If you are really that stereotypical of country homes you are sadly mistaken.
7: Agreed.

#96 to #93 - thechosenwon
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
If there's no way for a zombie to get in a tank, why would it matter if I was in a city. Your logic is flawed.
#98 to #96 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Well, have fun driving your tank to the third story of a mall to find that food store you've desperately been looking for and teleporting the food into the tank without leaving...
#100 to #98 - thechosenwon
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Canned foods. /thread?
#104 to #100 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Canned foods, for two people, along with water, and supplies to open and cook the canned food. That will take up no space at all right?
/thread.
#106 to #104 - thechosenwon
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Pfft.....just...pfft....

This much is painfully obvious...which is why I would stay somewhere classy like the empire state building. Top floor bitches.
#107 to #106 - dppwrestler
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
So... zombies are still going to work in plants to keep electricity running? Have fun in the elevator down when zombies are in the staircase... OH WAIT. lulz.
#110 to #107 - thechosenwon
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Zombies are lazy. They don't understand staircases.
#11 - trostell
Reply -4
(04/07/2012) [-]
I'm gonna have to change a few things. One, I'd bring a Kel-tec Scatter Gun, just to have more ammo per magazine, for a back-up, my model 1944 Mosin-Nagant, for a melee weapon, my own sharpened sword, for a vehicle, an older-model light tank, like, say, an MS-1. My "partner" would be my tank-loving murder-happy friend, and It'd be in a city, obviously, because there's enough food and fuel there to go on for months. And I could stockpile enough fuel on the side to travel to another area with a ******* of fuel. All the "gadgets" and even more useful items I could literally find in my own home. And I know a bit about making metal into wearable items, so armor wouldn't be a problem either.
#17 to #11 - lilnuggetbob
Reply +1
(04/07/2012) [-]
dont get so overconfident is seems like you will be ok, but your fine (physicality) but if you in the city, there are zombies everywhere, you and your freind will most likely go mad and kill everything (including non infected people) i suggust going to the farm, because there will be TONS of extra metal, and food, that is very good, and not to many zombies, you can easaly clear out 1-3 miles of land and live on it
#20 to #17 - trostell
Reply -2
(04/07/2012) [-]
The point is, we're in a mother ******* tank. Preferably a super-customized one bristling with extra armor and machine guns. When we want to clear out an area, we can fire off one of the 37mm shells into the area from the main gun. Boom, no more zombies around. No one said these zombies are attracted to loud noises, so, my guess is they hunt by smell. And have you ever smelt burning aviation fuel? It's overpowering. And a customized tanks fitted with an aviation engine to boost power, a city would be the IDEAL place to hole up. Airfields don't show up around farms. And they have RIDICULOUS amounts of fuel at airfields. They also have large, steel buildings in which to hide with many MANY tools to repair weapons, armor, and our vehicle. Along with things like propeller blades for extra defensive armament. A steel propeller makes a mighty-fine whirling arc of death.
#23 to #20 - lilnuggetbob
Reply +2
(04/07/2012) [-]
" And they have RIDICULOUS amounts of fuel at airfields" yes, also swarming with zombies, and still you are not the brightest are you? shoot one gun in the city, every zombie in the city is after you in an instant, and a 37mm shell will probably kill i dont know 20 zombie? well you most likely only have  a few, and once you fire that all zombies withing a 1-3 mile radius will instantly come runing tward your location, stay safe, never go to areas with high zombie populations EVER that is the basic #1 rule of zombie survival, unless you plan on bringing the entire military with you ******* dont,
" And they have RIDICULOUS amounts of fuel at airfields" yes, also swarming with zombies, and still you are not the brightest are you? shoot one gun in the city, every zombie in the city is after you in an instant, and a 37mm shell will probably kill i dont know 20 zombie? well you most likely only have a few, and once you fire that all zombies withing a 1-3 mile radius will instantly come runing tward your location, stay safe, never go to areas with high zombie populations EVER that is the basic #1 rule of zombie survival, unless you plan on bringing the entire military with you ******* dont,
#25 to #23 - trostell
Reply -1
(04/07/2012) [-]
I said these zombies were never specified to be attracted to noise. You can't go making arguments using points that aren't valid. Let's say, for a moment, that these are like traditional zombies, even if they can still run. They hunt by smell, not sound. Because the city is going to be falling apart, for sure. Burning aircraft fuel will mask the smell of human blood, so the zombies would not be following us for very far. And if the tank cannon FIRING would make the zombies chase us, so would firing ANY WEAPON IN ANYONE'S ARSENAL! Also, if they ARE attracted to sound, fire a shell into a skyscraper a mile away. The explosion will attract them over there instead. See? I just threw your argument for a loop with your own points.
#28 to #25 - lilnuggetbob
Reply +1
(04/07/2012) [-]
i am going to stop now, i dont want to catch your stuipid.
#30 to #28 - trostell
Reply -1
(04/07/2012) [-]
You made very good points, but there's viable solutions to those points. I'm not saying your wrong, just saying that with proper planning you could do it easily.
#69 - pvtmonkey
Reply 0
(04/07/2012) [-]
1: Assault Rifle - Never shot any kind of weapon before. Shotguns seem like there's a lot of force behind them and being that I'm a girl with no experience, those are out. Snipers and rpg's don't seem very versatile either.
2: Crossbow - Already have a "close quarters" weapon so pistol is out. Why the hell would I want a silencer when I'm pretty sure a crossbow is pretty quiet, and uzis seem hard to control.
3: Baseball bat - Has the most force behind it. Can also be used for purposes other than killing stuff.
4: Binoculars - Seems like I'd be able to find most of the other stuff around in peoples' houses, but a good pair of binoculars is hard to come by.
5: Car - its the most farmiliar to me and there's the most cargo room
6: Farm - middle of everything. If zombies get too overwhelming, retreat to forest, if you run out of supplies, take a trip to city
7: Bear Grylls - simply because I don't know the rest of them and dying next to Megan Fox isn't appealing to me haha.
#92 to #69 - nativninja
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
use logic. you have a scope on youre crossbow.
#103 to #92 - pvtmonkey
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
Yes... You have an AR which can be used at relatively close range, and then a crossbow for long range...
i dont understand what im apparently not using logic with...
#133 to #103 - nativninja
Reply 0
(04/08/2012) [-]
you say you need binoculars... you have a scope. sorry i should of been more Straight forward.
you say you need binoculars... you have a scope. sorry i should of been more Straight forward.
#137 to #133 - pvtmonkey
Reply +1
(04/08/2012) [-]
Ohh. Okay I understand. Touche
#31 - lifetakers
Reply +1
(04/07/2012) [-]
B. So I can shoot on the floor and kill myself.
Why would I need a secondary? I'm already dead.
My terrain would be a city, because I live in one.
And my teammate would be a fat kid, because no famous people live near me.
#29 - foreversevenfold
Reply +1
(04/07/2012) [-]
Spas 12
Mac
Machette
Swiss Army Knife
Hummer
Farm
Bear