inb4 religion war. . Dear Christfags. I have recently converted to christianity. I do need seine advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of Gods
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inb4 religion war

Dear Christfags.
I have recently converted to christianity. I do need seine advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of Gods
Laws and how to feller them.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to "Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can' t I own Canadians?
ltl. N
I I weild like to sell my daughter into slavery. as sanctioned in Exodus alih In this day and age, what do you think wouid be fit
fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uru: bearishness - Lev. I 5: . The problem is how do I tell? I have tried
asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a hull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. I ' The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing
to them. Shouldv smite them?
Sabbath. Exodus 35: 2 clearly death. . er shield
tidbit?
this? Are there ‘degrees ?
20/ 20, er is there some here?
3. Most ofmy get their hair trimmed, including the hair temples, even thouth this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 192?. How die?
Sh kknow: from Lev. 1168 makes , iff wear tkaes?
Ith My uncle has adimn. He violates Lev. : Iel' by planting two different crew in the , as does his wife by wearing garments made different kinds if
thread (cotton/ polyester blend He also tends to curse and blasphemy: a let. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trebble if getting the whole town together to
stone them? - . we just burn them to death at agrivate family affair, like we do with pimple who sleep with their inclass? (Lev. 20: 14)
I know yon have studied these things extensively andthey enjoy considerable energise in such matters, so I' m confident you can help. Thank yeu againsed reminding
us that Gods ward's eternal interchanging-
I. Leviticus 25: 44 states that I may pissess slaves, both male imafemale. provided they are purchased hem neighboring nations.
...
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Views: 12851
Favorited: 90
Submitted: 03/31/2012
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Comments(61):

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#67 - chasermlol (04/02/2012) [-]
lol @ cheesus

(captcha was 69) (tee-hee)
User avatar #56 - bobtheunbeatable (04/01/2012) [-]
this isn't even an intelligent comment half these scriptures are pretty much retconned (for want of a better word) in later scriptures in the new testament
#55 - natgurl (04/01/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#54 - SilverBladeMaster (04/01/2012) [-]
Religion causes this.
Religion causes this.
0
#50 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #46 - nmathreeofive (04/01/2012) [-]
do i have colored text

User avatar #47 to #46 - nmathreeofive (04/01/2012) [-]
no I do not.

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#52 to #47 - shortbusterrorist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
0
#49 to #47 - Marrin has deleted their comment [-]
#44 - sandwicheater (04/01/2012) [-]
maybe I have colored text too
#42 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
BLAH BLAH BLAH. Old Testament = history book. While we can see obvious things that God didn't like (Homosexuality, ********** , being rebellious) THE LAWS BACK THEN DO NOT APPLY TO TODAY CULTURE. The old testament's laws were voided after the ripping of the curtain in the temple. Like I said, while we should go around ********* each other, the old testament laws are not applicable after the death of Jesus. Who am I to determine this? Jesus broke them. And if you're one of those "LUL WHATEVES CHRISTFAG" good for you. If you're going to arguing against anyone using their own religion, please, get your facts about it straight, and stop googling "arguments for atheists."
#45 to #42 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
RED THUMBS? OH MAN THANKS GUISE. I love being an anon.
#37 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
exodus and levitucus is old testament, so unless ur jewish, read the new testament which says listen to the law of your government, unless corrupt against god. our gov. says slaves are illegal, so tat answersmost of the slave things. however the menstrual thing, sadly cant be helped XD
+1
#48 to #37 - bucketoffist **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #39 to #37 - tehrealfluttershy (04/01/2012) [-]
Thank you Anon for telling these people... Now I don't have to explain that.
#34 - rosietheamazon (04/01/2012) [-]
i think people will stop bitching and moaning about the old testament when people stop applying it to modern standards that encroach on others' rights.
#29 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
lol at content
how come he attacks christianity and never even touches the new testament? he should just attack jews in that case
User avatar #20 - amusedrhino (04/01/2012) [-]
It's just not funny anymore. It's gone from funny jokes to just mean mockery of a religion. It's annoying. I ain't even Christian.
User avatar #57 to #20 - creighton (04/01/2012) [-]
I really don't think anyone's making a joke. These kinds of things occur because religions pick and choose the beliefs they follow from their ancient writings, and it doesn't take a genius to show them that they're hypocrites.
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#17 - flaminggodzilla has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #16 - kindofcool (04/01/2012) [-]
The funny thing about this post is that it makes references back to the Old Testament. Go back and look. Every single one. People who want to bash Christianity need to understand that the Old Testament is history! It's not the "code of conduct." That is the New Testament. There is a story in the Old Testament about a girl getting foreskins for her birthday! It is simply history and anyone who takes it for more is a fool.

Sincerely, I'm-Not-Even-A-Christian
#24 to #16 - grassbear (04/01/2012) [-]
while the Old Testament is filled with crazy **** the New Testament is filled with hypocritical **** .
We should fear God (Matthew 10:28)
We should love God (Matthew 22:37)
There is no fear in love (1 John 4:18)
#43 to #24 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
"Fear" = Respect. I fear my Father. If I do something moronic, he's gonna slug me. Do I love him? You bet. Moron.
User avatar #33 to #24 - jokeface (04/01/2012) [-]
since we're talkin about religion let me be Moses and cross the Red Sea (of thumbs):

it is expressly stated both in the Bible and by others who have analyzed it that in Matthew 10:28 the word "fear" is used to mean "recognize the sheer power of"

love just means love. and you CAN both fear and love God if your using the above defintion of fear. but even back then, words could have multiple meanings, and in 1 John 4:18 they're using the other meaning of fear, which is to be afraid. its no different than when we use the same word for two different meanings, like, for example, the word "cleave" can mean to adhere, or to separate, depending on the context.
#38 to #33 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
yes! ty finally someone gets it, no one does their hw when they want to debate christianity
User avatar #31 to #24 - lordmoldywart (04/01/2012) [-]
Different opinions from two different people

Not everyone thinks the same, you know
User avatar #18 to #16 - flaminggodzilla (04/01/2012) [-]
Sorry, must have missed Jesus come back and rewrite it, when did that happen again?
User avatar #19 to #18 - kindofcool (04/01/2012) [-]
In the New Testament when he stated that the only rules are that you must love your Lord God and love your Neighbor.
+3
#25 to #19 - rottengrits **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #27 to #25 - aqualadFTW (04/01/2012) [-]
thumb for you sir, you seem to be intelligent enough to realize that one ought to truly *READ* the Bible rather than pick thru it :3
User avatar #23 to #19 - aqualadFTW (04/01/2012) [-]
Jesus specifically said that he did not come to throw out the old laws, but to enforce and maintain them whilst adding new ones. If you'll give me a few minutes, i'll find the specific selection if you would rather not take a strangers word for it.
User avatar #26 to #23 - aqualadFTW (04/01/2012) [-]
Matthew 5:17, Jesus says to "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them." Essentially says he has come to uphold EVERYTHING in the Bible which has not been specifically negated. Go ahead and read it in context i'm too lazy to spell it out for anyone who feels as though they must challenge me.
#51 to #26 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
Fulfill (verb) Bring to completion or reality; achieve or realize. Notice the word, "Completion". Notice the invalidity of your argument. /thread.
#12 - lordmoldywart (04/01/2012) [-]
God's word isn't eternal or unchanging, Jesus overturned most of the rulings from the old testament, in the new testament.

Old testament - eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth (Bible tells us to exact revenge on those who harm us);
New testament - Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek (to avoid violence)

Christianity is based on the life and teachings of Jesus, so whatever he says goes in that religion.

Christians: 0
Atheists: 0
Me: 1
-1
#41 to #12 - trollsniper **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #60 to #41 - lordmoldywart (04/01/2012) [-]
Old testament - eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth (Bible tells us to exact revenge on those who harm us);
New testament - Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek (to avoid violence)

^ This is a good example, Jesus did overturn rulings from the old testament, your quote proves that the Bible does contradict itself sometimes, though
0
#69 to #60 - trollsniper **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #71 to #69 - lordmoldywart (04/02/2012) [-]
I know I know, I just like to use that example
User avatar #36 to #12 - jokeface (04/01/2012) [-]
well christians believe Jesus IS god, so He would be overturning His OWN word. and im pretty sure the all-powerful deity who created the universe can do pretty much whatever the **** He wants
User avatar #59 to #36 - lordmoldywart (04/01/2012) [-]
No, Christians believe he is the SON of God

He prays to his Father many many times in the Bible, they're not the same person
User avatar #61 to #59 - jokeface (04/01/2012) [-]
how would you know what it says in the Bible? that comment implies that you haven't read it. because if you had, you would know that after He was crucified and resurrected, He became one with God, and then they DID become the same

the Holy Trinity includes God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. they are all the same, and at the same time, they are each their own self-contained entity. and the human mind literally cannot comprehend that, which is one of the reasons why so many people fail to understand God. and out of misunderstanding stems fear, and out of fear stems anger, and out of anger stems resentment, which is the point of atheism. some people dont trust what they dont understand, and so they reject it. its natural for people to want to know as much as possible, because we're a very egocentric species. we think we know everything. and anything that indicates that we're not the smartest creatures in the universe, we dont like.

open your mind once in a while...says the christian
User avatar #62 to #61 - lordmoldywart (04/01/2012) [-]
Jesus prays to his Father

This means:
1) Jesus is praying to his Father (God), so this means he is the son (of God)
2) I don't think Jesus ever suffered from schizophrenia, so if he's praying to God (his Father), he's not praying to himself

When it says he became one with God doesn't mean they blended to become one being like you imply, it means he joined his Father in heaven.
User avatar #63 to #62 - jokeface (04/01/2012) [-]
1) He prayed to God BEFORE joining Him in heaven. they were not the same yet.
2) If all your arguments are going to be based on arbitrary details of the Bible - which even i as a christian will admit contradicts itself many times - then you're going to lose this debate. thats not to say i'll win, because no one ever wins a religious debate, but my point is that your talking out your ass, and thats not gonna get you anywhere
User avatar #64 to #63 - lordmoldywart (04/01/2012) [-]
I was wondering when you were going to flip, everyone interprets the Bible differently, I guess there is no right or wrong interpretation, we won't know that till we die

I know what I'm talking about. I interpret the Bible using logic, instead of the outrageous (and humorous) observations you, and Catholics seem to make

Jesus and his Father are the same person? Get over yourself, and stop trying to make me laugh
User avatar #65 to #64 - jokeface (04/01/2012) [-]
dont be a troll. its not very becoming of you
#53 to #11 - anonymous (04/01/2012) [-]
Ironic you put that here.
#9 - thelastolympian (03/31/2012) [-]
I'm going to hell for laughing at this.
I'm going to hell for laughing at this.
User avatar #8 - houseofbrick (03/31/2012) [-]
Agnostic here: I'm getting bored of picking **** out of the Old Testament to show how crazy Christianity is because it's only the insane Christians who doggedly follow the Bible's every law rules they pick and choose are right and wrong.

How about some work on the New Testament and from Catholic Saints (like that one who says that NO Christian should EVER have sex)?
User avatar #15 to #8 - Daeiros (04/01/2012) [-]
i like that one, i haven't heard that before. We should launch a massive campaign to push that rule, then 100 years from now, one less crazy group ruining the world.
#7 - anonymous (03/31/2012) [-]
This was copy/pasted from a letter to some politician, I have it in my reaction folder somewhere, nice try being original. (not that the 4chan op will read this)
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