whahuh?. . I am pretending that I am dead'? Help..‘? 55?, " Hey guys, my name is Courtney and I am Tr. Courtney Se there is this girl I hate named Jane who had  intensity in ten Cities
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whahuh?

I am pretending that I am dead'? Help..‘?
55?, " Hey guys, my name is Courtney and I am Tr.
Courtney Se there is this girl I hate named Jane who had a big party and I went. We got into a
huge argument and I left and went into the backyard to get away frem her. She
fallowed me outside and she was arguing with me and stuff and then out of nowhere
she pushed me hard! She grabbed me and tried to take me down and I was down
en the ground and she climbed en top of me and she was choking me and smashing
me ente the ground
I pretended I was and she was freaking em.
She picked me up and started dragging me even though I was awake, I was
pretending I was unconscious_
I peeked and saw she was dragging me towards the peek! I quickly teek in a huge
breathe and she held up my body beside the water and she threw me into the peel! I
did the dead mans float and I held my breathe as long as I meld then I turned amend
to breathe and Jane was gene.
I heard her teeming back I quickly started Heating again and then sameone grabbed
my leg and pulled me out of the water. It was Jane and her boyfriend, I kept
pretending to be unconscious. Jane said she threw me in the water to get off any
evidence that was me me. She said I was in the water fer about IO minutes
probably dead and she checked my pulse and I kept pretending I was
and that IDIOT eould find anything and assumed i was dead.
i saw my cellphone en the ground, it fell out of my pocket before jane threw me into
the peel. they left fer a second i turned en the ‘melee recorder and put the phone in
my pocket. they dragged me areas the grass around to the front tsf the house and
then they lifted me up and took me upstairs and put me in the closet in janes reem!!
when they left i get out and dried my self off and i didnt leave behind any clues, i
climbed em of janes winder and went home.
help! what should i not
...
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Views: 79236
Favorited: 514
Submitted: 03/29/2012
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Comments(488):

[ 488 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #33 - Imbtrtenu (03/29/2012) [-]
OK heres a list of exactly what to do next

> Leave a note that says, "I know your secret." Exactly where she hid you in your closet.
> Skip school for awhile (Tell parents you have severe herpes of the anus and need to rest)
> Have a single friend who you can trust start dropping hints to your murderer about that night
> Keep this going for a couple weeks
> Eventually it will get in the girls head and she will soon have a breakdown
Ok now here's where one of two things could happen. She could a) Confesse to attempted murder and attempted hiding of evidence, or b) Just go insane and be checked into a mental institution.

Congradulations! You have failed school from missing so much, enjoy repeating your grade.
#480 to #33 - anon (03/30/2012) [-]
Or this:    
1. Leave home and live at your friend's house or somewhere    
2. Dig a tunnel(hideout) next to her house, especially where there are bushes and trees    
3. Buy Death's Mask and the toy scythe(or a real one)    
4. When you see her walking alone or with the friends on the street, make a noise (but before that put on the mask and the scythe)    
5. Eventuall she'll look at you and when she looks at you point the scythe towards her    
6. Run to the hideout (just make a good one). She'll run to you but she won't find you    
7. Enjoy    
<< MFW
Or this:
1. Leave home and live at your friend's house or somewhere
2. Dig a tunnel(hideout) next to her house, especially where there are bushes and trees
3. Buy Death's Mask and the toy scythe(or a real one)
4. When you see her walking alone or with the friends on the street, make a noise (but before that put on the mask and the scythe)
5. Eventuall she'll look at you and when she looks at you point the scythe towards her
6. Run to the hideout (just make a good one). She'll run to you but she won't find you
7. Enjoy
<< MFW
User avatar #42 to #33 - cocktopuss (03/29/2012) [-]
Dude I missed two years off school, and never had to go back grades.
User avatar #47 to #42 - wiredguy (03/29/2012) [-]
I missed just over half a year and had to work my ass off to keep up, and I was pretty young so the year I was in didn't have any exams or anything.
If 2 years of school didn't mean anything where you go, I'm sorry but you might just secretly be in a school for the mentally retarded.
User avatar #525 to #47 - doctornick (03/30/2012) [-]
let's hope he knows not too many people like onions on their Big Macs
User avatar #483 to #47 - cocktopuss (03/30/2012) [-]
Dude im not retarded I passed my A levels.
User avatar #521 to #483 - auesis (03/30/2012) [-]
A "pass" is an E grade, and we all know that Es are useless. It depends on how WELL you passed your A levels, not IF you passed them.
User avatar #520 to #33 - rolfface (03/30/2012) [-]
Or, show up at school the next day and tell them you know nothing about the death, but make it look like you have turned twisted ( watch hagurashi ) try to act like rena, every time she lies or such do the LIAR part and act like you have a split personality.
#102 to #33 - rickyman (03/29/2012) [-]
like that gay show " pretty little liars"
#526 to #102 - wiredguy (03/30/2012) [-]
This image has expired
How would you know unless you've watched it.
User avatar #116 to #33 - dicocito (03/30/2012) [-]
i lost at " (Tell parents you have severe herpes of the anus and need to rest) "
lol'd
#288 to #116 - anon (03/30/2012) [-]
"lost" means you lol'd you didn't need to post it again -.-"
#32 - tigerstyle (03/29/2012) [-]
ask /b/
0
#523 to #32 - urallnoobs has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #59 to #32 - xshadeeisafag (03/29/2012) [-]
that's actually where he got this
#328 to #59 - tamojikato (03/30/2012) [-]
actually its from Yahoo Answers. You can see it right there duh!
#51 to #32 - thumbeldore (03/29/2012) [-]
**thumbeldore rolls 3,975** number of times I have asked /b/ for help and it always backfires
User avatar #290 to #51 - Galante (03/30/2012) [-]
All the times I've asked /b/ for help they've been more than helpful and inspiring. Maybe it's the way I act, as one of them. Maybe...maybe I have become one of them.


Well...I'm off to see some gore and CP. Good luck with your future questions!
#2 - shaggyhaze (03/29/2012) [-]
Oh, the opportunities
#44 to #2 - dreamthrow (03/29/2012) [-]
Here's my idea
1. Send her a few post-mortem letters saying that she is doomed.
2. after watching her for a little bit, start signing your name on random items that belong to her.
3. When she is on the verge of losing it, give her a call telling her to expect someone that night.
4. Sneak back into her closet and wait until she is in bed, then pop out and say:
"You just lost the game."
#111 - motposters (03/30/2012) [-]
1. Rig speakers throughout jane's house
2. when jane gets home say the following
3. Jane why did you do that to me.
or. Jesus is mad at you Jane.
or. That water was cold Jane.
#138 to #111 - LTB (03/30/2012) [-]
The Doctor can barely think of words to describe how awesome what you just said was.
The Doctor can barely think of words to describe how awesome what you just said was.
User avatar #41 - maxismahname (03/29/2012) [-]
oh the possibilities.
1. send text messages to her "don't look behind you... etc."
2. tell everyone in school to pretend you weren't there or anything, and follow he around like you're very angry. follow her everywhere, EVERYWHERE. and stand in places like the corner of the classroom and stare at her. you would need to have it all setup though.
+152
#25 - jmrking **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#36 to #25 - chiefus (03/29/2012) [-]
I lost it at &quot;or call her a bitch--&quot;   
   
Thank you for lulz, bro
I lost it at "or call her a bitch--"

Thank you for lulz, bro
User avatar #19 - aahrg (03/29/2012) [-]
show up at school the next day and pretend like nothing happend
#239 - anon (03/30/2012) [-]
>find out her schedule at school,
>tell your most trusted friends what happened,
>have them spread rumors that you're missing,
>and go to school dressed like a zombie.
>Have leaves, grass, dirt, whatever in your hair,
>Make yourself look like **** basically.
>try to find clothes similar to the stuff you were wearing and rip it up, get it dirty, and make it look like it's been outside in the weather for weeks.
> scream, for as long as you can to short-term injure your voice, almost as if you really have been rotting since this happened
>make yourself stink, dead things SMELL LIKE THEY'RE DEAD. When you smell death, you know it.
>You know those friends, have them take turns observing her and how the rumors of you being missing affect her
>have your most dramatic friend wear lots of eyeliner and run up to her sobbing, have your friend grasp her arm and scream "people said they saw you with her!!! please, if you know anything then tell the police!! help us find her!!!"
>befriend the janitor, if your friends are following her properly then they'll see her leave class to go to the bathroom, have him cut the power to that corridor of the building
>when this happens dress like a zombie (the WORKS) and scare the living **** out of her
>try to speak, fill your mouth with strawberry jelly (with some added red dye or food coloring) so you like like your mouth is rotting
>try to trap her in the bathroom, moan, rasp, sound dead and you'd have zombie orgasms eating her flesh
>have friends in the guy's bathroom
>when she can't take it anymore one of your girlfriends should walk in, scream blood friggin' murder and as a zombie you go after her..
>head straight to the men's room and de-zombiefy yourself as fast as possible-you should practice this
>make sure mr janitor cuts the power-including the cameras or if he could make the picture distorted that would be even better
>continue this whever you can and turn her life to a living nightmare.

Sorry, out of order (kinda)
#332 to #239 - bothemastaofall (03/30/2012) [-]
And if she tests you to see if you are joking, eat her face.
User avatar #264 to #239 - Darianvincent ONLINE (03/30/2012) [-]
One flaw. One simple flaw. That guy that's like many of us that isn't in on this plan and has been waiting for zombies all his life to experience the anarchy. What if he just impales some object into her head thinking the day has come? Talk about a backfired plan.
#295 to #264 - anon (03/30/2012) [-]
Does this one guy bring his weapons to school? Doubt it.
#254 to #239 - anon (03/30/2012) [-]
I don't do it for the thumbs, I do it because it needs to be done.
#240 to #239 - naggerbatch (03/30/2012) [-]
Anon is an evil genius
User avatar #100 - turtlefucker (03/29/2012) [-]
1. Return to school the next day.
2. Remain perfectly silent and expressionless.
3. Any classes you have her in, do no work. Just sit patiently. Glance at her from time to time, and make sure she notices.
4. Follow her home from school. Keep a good distance. Walk slowly. If she turns around and notices you following, freeze in place. Do and say nothing. Poker face.
5. Right as she's reaching her house, hide. Make it look like you disappeared.
6. Repeat for days.
7. She is scared ******** of you and scarred for life.
8. ??????
9. Profit.
User avatar #101 to #100 - nyxie (03/29/2012) [-]
Bravo.
#310 - carmelrenee (03/30/2012) [-]
her face when she answers!
her face when she answers!
#296 - psychobear (03/30/2012) [-]
HFW
HFW
User avatar #303 to #296 - nishi (03/30/2012) [-]
Haha! I literally JUST watched that episode!
User avatar #107 - lunacy (03/30/2012) [-]
1. Get everyone to pretend you don't exist.
2. Pad the bottom of your shoes so they don't make any noise when you walk.
3. Follow her around silently with a sad look on your face.
4. ????
5. Profit!
#56 - Nickdowgg (03/29/2012) [-]
Courtney's face when she sees her the next day
Courtney's face when she sees her the next day
#57 to #56 - Nickdowgg (03/29/2012) [-]
Jane's face when
Jane's face when
User avatar #48 - fizzythunder (03/29/2012) [-]
miss school for a few days and during that time dye the clothes you wore that night red unless they're expensive, then when she's a school buy a tonne of red dye and empty it into her pool. Go to school wearing the red dyed clothing and just ignore her completely when she's around while having a bottle of water which you should drink regularly from. then with red paint write 'so much water' on her locker. make sure her pool stays red and leave notes about different types of swimming on damp paper and leave it in her locker. make sure to try and wear at least one type red clothing and carry around water
#3 - anon (03/29/2012) [-]
she should hide back in the closet again then in the middle of the night start quietly singing the creepiest song she knows.
I would've done that :D
User avatar #333 - eatallthecake (03/30/2012) [-]
>wait 3 days before going back to school/next time you see her
>put on same clothes as the night this happened
>make yourself soaking wet
>go to where ever she is and wait for her
>hfw=priceless
#49 - bkster (03/29/2012) [-]
#24 - comradewinter ONLINE (03/29/2012) [-]
1. Show up at school
2. Always look at her, never look away even if she looks back
3. Walk like you can barely move, not like a zombie, but more like if you've been working out your legs for hours and are really tired
4. Follow her the entire day
5. Follow her home when you're done for the day
6. Keep looking at her through the window, make sure she knows you're out there
7. Next day, send her a Facebook message with a picture of yourself having blue-ish skin, and frowning from the mouth (common indications that you've drowned)
8. Apply blue-ish transparent paint to the body, get a tube of toothpaste
9. After the day is over you walk into her house and over to her room while she's away (most people leave their front door open)
10. Sneak into closet
11. Wait
12. When she returns, take the tube of toothpaste and apply some into your mouth so it looks like you're frowning
13. Exit closet with a creepy smile, and crawl towards her with a mindless facial expression
14. She'll never try to kill anyone again
15. ???
16. Profit!
#4 - jerkyninja (03/29/2012) [-]
whats going through her mind when she was in the pool.
#410 - bazda (03/30/2012) [-]
Oh man I would start ******* that girls life up.

Example:
1. Ring doorbell when you know she is the only one home
2. Hit her in the face with a shovel
3. Run away into the night
4. Repeat
User avatar #426 to #410 - skatepimp (03/30/2012) [-]
Genuine lol at that xD
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