Husband banned from Target
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found
shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out- Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store, We cannot tolerate this behavior
and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed
below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
I. June 15: Took 24 boxes and randomly put them in other people' s carts when they weren' t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at intervals.
l July T: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women' s restroom.
A July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'.
This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn
resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August it Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of on Layaway-
5. August It Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
T. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he would invite them in if they
would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
l August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can' t you people just
leave me alone?' were called,
l Septembers: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
ll September IO: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
ll. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
It October E: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look) by using different sizes offence's.
ll October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK MEI PICK MEIR
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH
Not. TS THOSE VOICES AGAIN,
And last, but not least:
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Heyl There' s no
toilet paper in here/ One ofthe clerks passed out.