Its hard to be a guy. on the plus side, we can piss standing up. It' s tough to be a Man Do you know how tough it is being a man,,,'? If you put a woman on a pe hard to be a guy Damn it
x

Its hard to be a guy

Its hard to be a guy. on the plus side, we can piss standing up. It' s tough to be a Man Do you know how tough it is being a man,,,'? If you put a woman on a pe

on the plus side, we can piss standing up

Tags: hard | to | be | a | guy | Damn | it
It' s tough to be a Man
Do you know how tough it is being a man,,,'? If you put a woman
on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you' re a
male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you' re a pansy. If you
work too hard there is never any time for her. If you don' t work
enough, you' re a bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get
off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets
a job ahead of you, it' s equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it' s sexual harassment. If you
keep quiet, it' s male indifference.
If you cry, you' re a wimp. If you don' t, you' re an insensitive
bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you' re a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she' s a liberated
woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn' t enjoy, that' s
domination. If she asks you, it' s a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you' re
pervert. If you don' t, you' re gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you' re
sexist. If you don' t, you' re unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you' re vain. If you don' t,
you' re a slab,
If you buy her flowers, you' re after something. If you don' t,
you' re not thoughtful.
If you' re proud of your achievements, you' re full of yourself. If
you don' t, you' re not ambitious.
If she has a head ache, she' s tired. If you have a headache, you
don' t love her anymore.
If you want it Too often, you' re oversexed. if you don' t, there
must be someone else.
NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! I I I I I I .. THEY WANT TO!!
...
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Views: 24410
Favorited: 188
Submitted: 04/10/2010
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Comments(292):

[ 292 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #76 - Noah (04/11/2010) [-]
I had a girl friend and after a couple days she cheated on me, now her boyfriend cheated on her and I'm supposed to comfort her? **** that
User avatar #92 to #76 - Antonymous (04/11/2010) [-]
My fiance's first girlfriend got pregnant with another guy and got mad at him(my fiance') for not helping her take care of her baby. They never even had sex.
User avatar #129 to #92 - Dmeet (04/11/2010) [-]
your fiance did the right thing finding you
User avatar #140 to #129 - Antonymous (04/11/2010) [-]
Lol, thanks. :D
User avatar #50 - Demonic Leprechaun (04/11/2010) [-]
Man: "I love you!"
Woman: " **** OFF! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT!"
Man: "But I do love you!"
Woman: "LIES!"
Man: "Honey, I think you're on your period."
Woman: "AND WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN?!"
>.>
Then once the demon inside her finally throws up blood, everything suddenly turns back to normal.
User avatar #103 to #50 - balognaeatyou (04/11/2010) [-]
NEVER trust anthing that bleeds for five days but doesn't die
User avatar #53 to #50 - CarlTheHobo (04/11/2010) [-]
every time i hear girls talking about being on their periods i immediately hear "welcome to the daanger zone!"
#12 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
I'm a girl and I hate it when other girls do this to their bfs, it's annoying.
User avatar #18 to #12 - FatterKid (04/11/2010) [-]
I thank you for being a reasonable girl.
User avatar #110 - angrysaget (04/11/2010) [-]
you know what? I would still rather go through that than give birth.
#123 to #110 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
A doctor once did some research and found out that the equivalent in pain of a woman giving birth is equal to a man having his testicles pulled over his head. :(
#131 to #123 - Jero (04/11/2010) [-]
who the hell found a volunteer for that and how did they compare the two?
+1
#114 to #110 - pwnthatbetch has deleted their comment [-]
#169 to #114 - captininsanoobacon (04/11/2010) [-]
if a religious women ever complains about the pain of child birth tell her to read genesis and then tell you who's fault painful birth is.
User avatar #135 to #110 - CarlTheHobo (04/11/2010) [-]
well in this day and age, a lot of the pain is taken away by medicine :D
so yay 1,000cc's of vicodin :]
User avatar #119 to #110 - Bryantgodin (04/11/2010) [-]
im with you on that
User avatar #211 - CaptainPicard (04/11/2010) [-]
the one i hate the most is when women yell "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE" when its not even there house or its both the husbands and wifes
User avatar #284 to #211 - CarlTheHobo (04/12/2010) [-]
but picard, you live in a spaceship
#171 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
and they can run these ******** 10 min times on the ******* mile, when the guys have to get it in like 7 flat
#174 to #171 - captininsanoobacon (04/11/2010) [-]
wondered that for years, yet the truth is( and im not hating on women) but on average women have a lower peak of physical ability then men. It has nothing to do with drive or mental toughness as both are equal, it comes down to men being slightly larger in size and having more muscle then women. It is just the dice roll of nature. This being said i know a girl that can beat most guys in ju jitsu even ones who have 50 pounds on her. So in terms of one on one the sexes are equal but on the overall level there is some odds stacked in mens favor in regards to physical ability.
#189 to #174 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
jiu jitsu j-I-u j-i-t-s-u jiu jitsu
#192 to #189 - captininsanoobacon (04/11/2010) [-]
i stand corrected jiu jitsu
User avatar #195 to #174 - ThuCheef (04/11/2010) [-]
yeah, its kinda hard to beat a hand at martial arts
#194 to #171 - Tor **User deleted account** (04/11/2010) [-]
i hate running the mile my girlfriends like "your fat" i get 7:48
User avatar #150 - Philisophoraptor (04/11/2010) [-]
The way I figure it, one day either gender will find a useful way to reproduce without the opposite sex, and wipe out the other sex completely, in favor of making the world a "better" place. However, it will only cause things to collapse, and thus end life as we know it.
If the Women wipe out the Men, society and the economy will collapse due to lack of strong and dispensable resources and most leaders, sending the world into an anarchy in most cases.

If women are eliminated, we'll all starve.
#158 to #150 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
clearly this bitch must fix my sandwiches
+29
#85 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #291 to #85 - TheseChocodiles (04/12/2010) [-]
No offence, but kiss ass.
-1
#294 to #291 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #297 to #294 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
I couldn't be bothered explaining. Just shut the **** up.
Your bad craic, actually just melt my brain.
0
#298 to #297 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #299 to #298 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Fine, you want to know why I called you a kiss ass? Because you fall into that stereotype of trying to please guys with what you say, I think the same as you but I don't go waving it around so guys will like me, and the sammich thing just feeds into it even more! To me it was pathetic, if girls act like that let them, don't bitch about it. And the reason I swear like that is because I'm irish, and if you think I'm bad? You shouldn't ******* come here.
+1
#300 to #299 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #301 to #300 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Are you really irish or one of those people who say they are irish because their granny is? I told you to shut the **** up because I thought you needed to. What the **** is a skeeze? And of course it does? I don't understand why girls can't keep that **** to themselves, if you don't like girls like that, then leave it. Don't even try to ******* deny it that you did it to try and prove that your not one of those girls to guys.
+1
#302 to #301 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #303 to #302 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Are you from Ireland? Are you in Ireland right now? Have you ever even been? Because 14 year old kids here, smoke and drink, drugs and sometimes have knives on them. The word **** doesn't even phase us, its a part of us. Yeah people thumb me down sometimes because I say my own opinion and I don't try to please anybody.
You are so not irish.
+1
#305 to #303 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
0
#304 to #303 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #306 to #304 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Nope you're a wannabe. You don't know the culture, you don't have the accent, you haven't been, I ******* hate when people do that. I didn't ask you to please me, no you are being a kiss ass.
You knew rightly that the comment would please guys, we had MissFunnyJunk? You are exactly as pathetic as her.
0
#307 to #306 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #308 to #307 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Sorry didn't see it. Stop being so american. It's melting my brain.
What part is he from?
0
#309 to #308 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #310 to #309 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Fair enough, I may be a douche but I can admit my defeats.
0
#311 to #310 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #312 to #311 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
No about the whole thing, I was being pretty hypocritical, saying you should just leave it if you dont like girls like that, meanwhile I was bitching to you and I don't even hate you or anything I just didn't like your comment which I just could of thumbed down if I didn't like it but I was a dick over it. It was pretty pathetic. I should probably think before I type.
0
#313 to #312 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #314 to #313 - TheseChocodiles (04/13/2010) [-]
Haha, I just realised I WAS being a douche, so I am saying sorry.
#292 to #85 - keegant **User deleted account** (04/12/2010) [-]
get back in the kitchen, make me a sammich then....TITS OR GTFO!
User avatar #125 to #85 - Dmeet (04/11/2010) [-]
where do women like you exist? im surounded by needy, sexist women. i feel like im in the twilight zone
#133 to #85 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
anon agrees, thank you for the sammiches
User avatar #144 to #85 - Alimosaka (04/11/2010) [-]
You shall have a thumbs up from me since you're now the next thing to perfect..*drools* mmm bacon
#185 to #144 - BlockJuice (04/11/2010) [-]
next to?

she is perfect.
#172 to #85 - captininsanoobacon (04/11/2010) [-]
will you marry me?
#183 to #85 - BlockJuice (04/11/2010) [-]
y'know what they say.

tis better to give than to receive.
#100 to #85 - whaaataloser (04/11/2010) [-]
whoa. i totally agree with ya.
and i'll help make the sammiches lol
User avatar #87 to #85 - DaisyDavis (04/11/2010) [-]
FINALLY.
Another girl like me :D
I love you in a non-lesbian-but-friendly way!:)
+3
#88 to #87 - FruitPunchFountain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #91 to #87 - xxbellaxx (04/11/2010) [-]
Rawr Me too ^_^
User avatar #13 - FatterKid (04/11/2010) [-]
seriously. These thing are sadly true. Once at my school, I opened a door for a girl, and she went off on me about how chauvinist and insensitive I was. So, already late to class, I decided not to argue, apologize and agree. the VERY next day, same girl, I didn't open the door for her. She came at me a second later, red with rage, "WHAT THE **** ! Why the **** didn't you open the door for me you JERK! Didn't your mother teach you go be polite to women?"
0
#64 to #13 - Lunarwolfdemon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #288 to #64 - FatterKid (04/12/2010) [-]
never a good thing
0
#296 to #288 - Lunarwolfdemon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+1
#14 to #13 - Nachodood **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #15 to #14 - FatterKid (04/11/2010) [-]
Seriously. I hate this girl! and what's worse, she doesn't even like hotel California, and she can BARELY SPELL. HOW DID SHE MAKE IT TO HIGH SCHOOL!?
+3
#16 to #15 - Nachodood **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #17 to #16 - FatterKid (04/11/2010) [-]
yup. Normally, I don't care for sammich jokes (don't like don't hate) but seriously, this girl's only purpose should be that. She can't spell, she can't LISTEN IN CLASS, she's always asleep. She has the brain of a 2nd grader.
+1
#19 to #17 - Nachodood **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
+1
#20 to #19 - Nachodood **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #21 to #20 - FatterKid (04/11/2010) [-]
yup....she was kinda hot. Tits works.
+1
#22 to #21 - Nachodood **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #25 to #22 - FatterKid (04/11/2010) [-]
yeah I doubt I could find any.
#27 to #13 - slapyousillyfoo (04/11/2010) [-]
wow. i'd just say thanks because people don't do that for me anyway unless the teacher says we do. LOL.
#29 to #27 - slapyousillyfoo (04/11/2010) [-]
says we have to*
User avatar #36 to #13 - RevolverOcelot (04/11/2010) [-]
give her a death stare and call her a cunt, works every time 4 me
User avatar #37 to #13 - SteyrAUG (04/11/2010) [-]
Next day you should have gone in right before her, let the door almost close, then turned around and spartan kicked it right into her face. Then made a smart-ass comment. Problem solved.
#190 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
**anonymous rolls 448,137,231** if i roll an odd number, i will shoot justin
#191 to #190 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
yeeeeessss!!!! TvT
#197 to #191 - pizzabob (04/11/2010) [-]
do it somewhere sensitive, i what him to die slowly and painfully
User avatar #83 - JimiHendrix (04/11/2010) [-]
If you **** her with a rake you go to prison
if you dont
your not insane
theres no right answer! :(
#45 - lawrenceguitars (04/11/2010) [-]
period pain?

ha, try missing a ledge grab on assassins creed
#236 to #45 - fergetcom (04/11/2010) [-]
Lol I was just playing assassins creed 2 about 6 seconds ago, a crack was released a few days ago
User avatar #52 to #45 - Setari (04/11/2010) [-]
OH GODS SO ANNOYING T_T Especially when guards are after you, and there are more guards at the bottom. -.-'
User avatar #48 to #45 - kingpoopdog (04/11/2010) [-]
or getting ******* NOOB TUBED!
User avatar #139 - dragunsfire (04/11/2010) [-]
and u know what, we can always hold this over their heads... we men can write our name in the snow :D
User avatar #120 - LastCall (04/11/2010) [-]
Pfft... Really, Men don't have it that hard. Of course, I don't buy into the whole "Gender Roles" ******** . I do whatever the **** I want.
User avatar #122 to #120 - CarlTheHobo (04/11/2010) [-]
eh, its been like that for me :P i dated some pretty odd feminists
thats why i made this, and hey..it turned out funny to some people
#168 to #122 - captininsanoobacon (04/11/2010) [-]
im all for equal rights but some of those feminists are freaking crazy. They will not stop unless they have complete supremacy
User avatar #178 to #168 - CarlTheHobo (04/11/2010) [-]
some people are just freaking crazy, like the evangelical christians and the religious people who protest iraq soldier weddings, those people just are plain bat **** crazy.
User avatar #181 - kirbyy (04/11/2010) [-]
on the plus side we can have a one night stand and not have an abortion.
#187 to #181 - anon (04/11/2010) [-]
or a baby
User avatar #245 - nebraksa corn (04/11/2010) [-]
it is "hard" to be a guy
#204 - denizenn (04/11/2010) [-]
heres a few you missed:
-a man saying something rude to a woman is sexual harrasment, they'll sue you for ur **** ,
a woman doing the same to a man is flattering, but if we find it sexually harrasing, we can't do ****
- If a man attacks and robs a woman or even another man, the victim is allowed to hurt or kill the thief as an act of self defence
BUT in 2006 a woman attacked a man and stole his wallet, he reported to the cops and he got in trouble instead for striking the woman in self defence
#218 to #204 - captininsanoobacon (04/11/2010) [-]
that last one is ****** up dude. Anyone who attacks me and wishes me harm to me is saying i give you permission to hurt me as bad as you see fit and as far as your rage takes you.
#220 to #218 - denizenn (04/11/2010) [-]
I know it's ****** bull **** , i like women and all but they can be ****** bitches
#80 - nycinsanity (04/11/2010) [-]
when you get married (and your a man) and you say "till death do us part" you realise later in life your actually setting a goal. XD anyone else like jeff dunham :P
User avatar #128 - eveon (04/11/2010) [-]
*sigh* damned if ya do, damned if ya don't... right guys?
#38 - ieatfetuses (04/11/2010) [-]
this is so ******* true it makes me sad :(
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