Tard Stories Thread?
Tard Sharia: Thread.
work as a Janitor tor a High school
e school to work tor
Carlen one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry
7. wmm is rude, messy, and always shits startled (Which seems to be every single tucking time you speak to him)
haal' s out and I' m mopping the floors
wally comes waddling around the corner and sees the
trl see him
points at the and laughs,
then scuttle: away
the bathrooms on the upperclass
ml just Finished and tell when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking
xterm and one other lard kid are trashing the bathroom
cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped of! the hinges and a Fucking sink ripped out oi the wall
12( sat) 04 we No.
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of the war
other and maintenance crew notice the little fucknugget too
we begin calling Jerry and the lard he' s friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always shits himseld. stain, and the lard kid he' s with always
drags one )
well, alter a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not stain...
Llooking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Grimm
Skimpy grabs it, and using his lard strength or a thousand derps... proceeds no hurl it up into the light "ture above them. Shattering it into pieces.
the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping
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7/ it this paint, ll‘: my and I need to get the we bastard back
A trl notice that he' s always in the art room alter schoor where one of the not teachers always stayed late
swollowing him, I notice that he' s attempting to tint WM her, and leaning in tn smell her butt as she picks up trash
around her tooth
when he' s about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one dime Assisted Admin' s needs her
gives me this hate titled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder
next day, I notice that he has the last lunch atthe day
a watch him wander outside with the rest of the mos to do " exercises"
trl calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the
when the call them all back, Jerry spies the and takes on in the opposite direction
trl turn on the sprinklers " force
why is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while painting at the and
mm his taro guard and I watched him full tome into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mud
m. h the Score I needed to figure out something else
new was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore it he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana
when he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food whit banana' s oi all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten... then walk
1 watch as he walks up, looks around... then starts screeching and nailing his arms wildly, knocking his into the ground and doing some sort oi lard ritual that
involves humping the table
hen... he spots me
full on charges at me, had just mapped the hoot in from oi me.
proceeded to siip... eell down, and then his way down the halfway where the Wranglers secured him.
Bat) 06: _ . 364694545
wow at " we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and lve him alone tor good
Eut no .Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up
won the last week oi school they stayed alter
trl was too busy trying to help the drama department move shit all the stage so they didn' t destroy the lights
I was busy, they snuck into one of the jan' m: closets and shit in the mop bucket, Ming it with water and then using two mops to smear the shit water all over a nice clean hallway
Mt rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench watts item this direction
a round the camellia see the two smearing m down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers
see me, reach dawn into the bucket and grab mounds of she
they try to charge the
seems they forgot that they used shit water on the new and it was still wet
both slipped and tell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again
A was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a lull on ft, just shaking on the ground and screeching
Splain was writing around and crying/ spinning... looking like a tap he was going around so fast
Parta on the way
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called up the Administrators and the school police miner but they didn' t respond
7] called up a m other Jan' tars who were harford at this scene
helped me unit)" some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake at has
Skimpy and stain bath latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them on to the an tooth and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived
that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found , we high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it horn the outside, couldn' t reach, and then just began nailing on the walls, smearing shit
everywhere and even on Empty.
whey both got into a tight, slapping each other on the lace and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the hoot
Admins called his mother and mother to come get them, along with two police meets
tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage or them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in shit
sin the end, his mother had tn pay the damages AND clean up the room by herself as I watched with a smile
Skimpy was Stain was never heard from again.
And that my Friends... is haw the warms won.
I gut to keep my job. and get rid of a gruesome twosome.