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#77 - ColorfulPenguin
Reply +291
(03/03/2012) [-]
Now let's try finding some usages!
To move through time at the speed of time: When you close in on an extreme source of gravity, time slows. If you move at normal speed now, you could break this effect and effectively travel to the future.

13% bulletproof: This means that you are more durable than normal people. It might not stop a bullet, but it will stop a knifecut.

Transforming into an 82-year old hungarian woman with a weak bladder: The perfect disguise.

Walk through walls but fall through floors: Jump when going through a wall. Problem fixed and you may now break into anywhere with a wall less than your jumping length.

3 cotton balls every 10 days: Free cotton! Also great for surprising people!

Automated doors open sooner: You can now run into stores with automatic doors without slowing down.

Smell the future: Well you're at a restaurant and got no idea what anything is. What do you do? Change the choice you make and check what smells best!

Slightly moisten objects: *wink wink* If you know what I mean.

Turn gold into silver: Invest a lot of money in gold. Turn all other gold companies' gold into silver. Your stocks are now worth more than their worth in DIAMONDS.

**** bricks: You can a house, literally all on your own. (no machines).

Read minds of the mentally disabled: Nobody know what they think if they cannot speak. You would make major improvements in psychology in that field, and could make a lot of money from parents of mentally disabled children who wonder what they think.

Incredibly big erection in front of your mother: Can't find one. Unless you're incestuous.
#585 to #77 - edlias
Reply 0
(03/04/2012) [-]
I thought that the wall/floor thing applied to anytime you are on a floor, not just going through a wall, and anyways the main point of my comment, film your mom looking directly at a camera for a decent time, when having sex put the tape on loop.
#584 to #77 - anon
Reply 0
(03/04/2012) [-]
Don't type a ******* book, please.
#583 to #77 - poppingpins
Reply 0
(03/04/2012) [-]
The cotton one is kind of stretching it. Other wise good job.
#577 to #77 - rel
Reply +7
(03/03/2012) [-]
"You can a house"
You accidentally that sentence.
#459 to #77 - mrsgttaters **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#434 to #77 - breakfastlunch
Reply +7
(03/03/2012) [-]
Most of those make sense, but I must point out an error: Bulletproof materials like Kevlar do not stop thin, pointed objects like knives. A bulletproof vest is not necessarily knife-proof.

<--YFW
#257 to #77 - kinggkinggk
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#231 to #77 - anon
Reply 0
(03/03/2012) [-]
don't forget that time is merely something man made up. The relevance of time is made for our planet Earth. This super power can be used if you were, say, from a different planet. So if you're using the time from somewhere else "where time moves faster" then potentially you would be able to time travel. Time is merely a facade created by man to measure his length on Earth.

it's a relevant measurement which always changes because it is not absolute.
#140 to #77 - reinmar
Reply +3
(03/03/2012) [-]
'Nuff said
'Nuff said
#589 to #140 - walrusnipples
Reply 0
(03/08/2012) [-]
I know how to handle myself
#555 to #140 - ville
Reply -2
(03/03/2012) [-]
the gif said i am hilarious! :D
#85 to #77 - mcsloth
Reply +1
(03/03/2012) [-]
genius
#80 to #77 - legitimacy
Reply +28
(03/03/2012) [-]
She won't abuse you for having a small one and take her anger out on your father. Then your dad comes back in covered in blood saying we have to move and then when you refuse because you don't want to leave your friends he kills your friends. When you ask what happened to mommy and he says she left us, but you know. You know exactly what happened.....