THE RACIST TREE
ALEXANDER are canton
Duos upon a time there was a racist tree. Seriously. you are
going to hate this tree.
High on a hill overlooking the town. the racist tree grew
where the grass was half clover. Children would visit dun
ing the sunlit hours and ask for apples. and the racist tree
would shake its branches and drop the delicious red fruit
that cleansed without being polished. The children ate many
of the racist tree' s apples and played games beneath the
shade of its racist branches.
One day the children brought Sam, a boy who had just
moved to town. to play around the racist tree.
Let Sam have an apple," asked a little girl.
I don' t think so- He' s black," said the use This shocked the
children and they spoke to the tree angrily. but it would not
shake its branches to give Sam an apple, and it called him
I can' t believe the racist tree is such a racist," said cue
child. The children momentarily reflected that perhaps this
kind of behavior was how the racist tree got its name.
It was decided that if the tree was going to deny apples
to Sam then nobody would take its apples. The children
stopped visiting the racist tree.
The racist tree grew quite lonely. After many solitary weeks
it saw a child firing a kite nearby across the clover field.,
Can I offer you some apples?" asked the tree eagerly.
Fuck off, you goddamn Nazi," said the child.
The racist tree was upset, because while it was very racist. it
did not personally subscribe to Hitler' s fascist ideology. The
racist tree decided that it would have to give apples to black
children, not because it was tolerant. but because otherwise
it would face ostracised from white children-
And so. social progress was made.