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I won't murder you

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Horns one
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The Boogie of
online dating
Iastro MAM
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A favorite hangout
for internal goers
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36 Match
Friend
Enemy
M.. M Straight: Single
Boston, Massachusetts
About Photos
I' m a fun loving guy and a who has absolutely no interest
in committing murder. Fm looking for love, companionship, or just
that one lovell evening (and rest assured that that one lovell
evening will end with vou back at your house, safe and
sound!) Let me take vou into my magical world of not murdering
anione, ever, for any reason.
What I' m doing with my life
I' ll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least
of all vou! Behond that, mostly digging.
I' m realty good at
sublimating my baser desires.
The first things people usually! notice about me
is my absolute lack of threatening cues. People are like, "I feel so
safe and comfortable around you,," and then they usually follow it up
with, "I really couldn' t imagine you ever murdering me," at which
point Ital! them that they are ONE HUNDRED PERCENT RIGHT.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music; and food
M, Dexter, Silence of the Lambs, As I Lay Daring {book}, As I Lay
Dvina (band). Note: I unlv like these IRONICALLY,
The six things t could never do without
My shovel [for gardening}
My n' (tarr curing turkey jerky}
My chainsaw (for logging or clearing brush)
My mother' s underwear (as a keepsake)
Children (they are our future]
My freezer (tor keeping m perishable goods from spoiling}
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what it would be like to wear someone else' s skin Cm a metaphorical
sense),
tht a typical Friday night I am
being seen by plenty of people in plenty of different places, such that
I always have an alibi in the INCREDIBLY UNLIKELY event that I
came up as a suspect in a murder trial... WHICH WILL, i' HAS NEVER
The most private thing I' m willing to admit
I once picked up a female hitchhiker off of , handcuffed her, beat
her, strangled her in my , and fed her to my dogs after
masturbating maself with her severed hands .r.
I sometimes wet the bed.
I' m looking for
l Girls who like guys
Ages
a Near me
q who are single
i For new friends
You should message me if
vou want a guy who WON' T murder you.
...
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Comments(41):

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#18 - NinjaFriedBacon (02/22/2012) [-]
Reminded me of this.
#32 - dinokalz (02/22/2012) [+] (1 reply)
He wants to murder someone, I can just tell. I have a talent with these things.
He wants to murder someone, I can just tell. I have a talent with these things.
#3 - zekethedefender (02/21/2012) [-]
Sounds like this one cube I met.
#9 - denonymous (02/22/2012) [-]
wait he wets the bed.......i do not like this person... i do not like this person at all
User avatar #38 - OMGCAA (02/22/2012) [-]
I was sold until he said he wet the bed. Total deal breaker there.
#14 - eiramart (02/22/2012) [+] (2 replies)
Here's love buddy,

StayOutOfMyShed:

Cute
Young
Sexy
Really nice and sweet
Has a pretty shed.
#40 - urallnoobs (02/22/2012) [-]
**urallnoobs rolled a random image posted in comment #106 at An old dog pic ** Why'd I'd go out with him.
User avatar #1 - tehweirdkat (02/21/2012) [-]
Repost
#41 - thedungeonmaster (02/22/2012) [-]
**thedungeonmaster rolled a random image posted in comment #578 at Meanwhile! In Florida. ** MFW i'm not a murderer
#10 - unlimitedsmoof (02/22/2012) [+] (1 reply)
full
#23 - madjackwack (02/22/2012) [+] (1 reply)
i ******* love As I Lay Dying :'D BRING ON DOWNLOAD '12!
#33 - longkatisloooong (02/22/2012) [-]
My face whilst reading this...
#7 - bosman (02/22/2012) [-]
Hilarious but unfortunately it is a repost, no thumbs for you OP
#43 - akdawg (02/22/2012) [-]
sounds like this guy
User avatar #31 - beastymcnasty (02/22/2012) [-]
Im scared that i live in Boston..
User avatar #8 - tacoiiimaniac ONLINE (02/22/2012) [-]
Why must you repost?
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