Funny true story. Look I know, I've heard the story before too where<br /> do you think I got the idea . When she asked me i <br /> remebered it and funny
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Funny true story

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Funny true story. Look I know, I've heard the story before too where<br /> do you think I got the idea . When she asked me i <br /> remebered it and

Look I know, I've heard the story before too where<br />
do you think I got the idea . When she asked me i <br />
remebered it and said here we go hope she gose<br />
for it and she did so i posted it believe me or not<br />
I really don't give a **** It's still funny

Tags: funny
Banned from .
Thought I would share this True story with everyone.
Saturday I was at my local Petco buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my . Doberman. While in the
checkout line a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? Pausing for a
moment at her stupididty told her that no, I didn' t have
a dog. I was starting the Purina Uget again. I added that I
probably shouldn' t because I ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I' d lost . before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her, that it was
essentially a perfect diet, and that the way that it works
is to load your' pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The
food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was
going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in line woe now engulfed with my
story) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food poisoned me, I told her no
that I was pissing on a fire hydrant, and when I stopped
and stepped off the curb to sniff a Labrador' s ass a car
hit us both! I thought the entire line was going to ****
themselves laughing at her including the girl at the
register, Needless to say she became enraged and began
cursing everyone, and had to be escorted out. They told
her not to come back. My girlfriend said I was mean for,
doing . I told her it was hilarious, and I was going to put
it on RT she said I shouldn' t, What do you guys think?
...
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Views: 28892
Favorited: 109
Submitted: 04/06/2010
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Comments(285):

[ 285 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#108 - Triplesod **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
I'm not allowed to thumb this yet, funk!

I think it was awesome what you did, if my boyfriend did that I would give him a blow job on the spot.
User avatar #119 to #108 - SquishyHaribo (04/07/2010) [-]
what about the sammich?
User avatar #131 to #108 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
You most definitely = WIN!!!
#50 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/06/2010) [-]
u should definitely put it on, i wanna hear the story
#285 to #50 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
i kno this will result in negative thumbs, but number 1 comment bitches
XD
#292 to #285 - jonagoo (04/08/2010) [-]
i ***** your grandmother,, multiple times with rusty shoe. as they say in soviet russia. YOUR MOTHER ****** ME
#293 to #292 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/08/2010) [-]
haha, **** ur electrode
User avatar #274 to #50 - TweakyBoy (04/07/2010) [-]
i agree. i bet its amazing.
User avatar #276 to #50 - BeastlyElemental (04/07/2010) [-]
dude what ever you do do not put it on funnyjunk she could ok sue you... no probably not
User avatar #66 to #50 - kadabra (04/07/2010) [-]
hahahahaha this comment is as funny as the picture
#68 to #66 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
use teleport!
User avatar #71 to #68 - kadabra (04/07/2010) [-]
where to mr fly?
#72 to #71 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
playboy mansion, then a pokecenter and find a ditto
User avatar #75 to #72 - kadabra (04/07/2010) [-]
sounds good mr fly i need to go hypnosis a playboy bunny :D
#76 to #75 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
I'm so glad you leveled up a couple days ago.
User avatar #51 to #50 - Butterballs (04/06/2010) [-]
hey... wait a minute....
somethings not right here....
#52 to #51 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/06/2010) [-]
i think its the butter on your balls...wait a minute...thats not butter
User avatar #53 to #52 - Sylace (04/07/2010) [-]
I can't believe it's not butter.
#54 to #53 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
chuck norris can
User avatar #59 to #54 - nerikm (04/07/2010) [-]
its the bengay on your balls( try it)
#61 to #59 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
Is that what you tell the parents when they walk in?
#62 to #61 - thatoneguyuknow (04/07/2010) [-]
THIS IS SUCH A RANDOMLY EPIC WIN!
#63 to #62 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
wait, theres no clever response to this
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
+5
#67 to #63 - flusterXcuck **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#73 to #67 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
i see what you did there
#80 to #73 - Rascal (04/07/2010) [-]
I SEE WHAT U DID THAR!!
#81 to #80 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
oh poor little anon
User avatar #283 to #81 - SQUIRTLE (04/07/2010) [-]
You guys ruined a perfectly funny comment.
#289 to #283 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/08/2010) [-]
still not a wortortle???
User avatar #83 to #59 - IPedotheFool (04/07/2010) [-]
ITS A TRAP
#58 to #50 - DashDashTS (04/07/2010) [-]
This is the first comment I've ever actually laughed out loud at. Way to draw attention to me in class, asshole.
#60 to #58 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
Let It Fly, at your service, asshole
User avatar #287 to #60 - IPedotheFool (04/07/2010) [-]
oh god... I've been misreading your name as
Left Tit Fly
#288 to #287 - Letitfly **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
haha well now u kno
User avatar #137 to #58 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
Thanks, glad I could be of assistance. :)
#93 - gamergurlone **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
I worked at petsmart for over 2 years and you wouldnt believe how many hysterical people had to be escorted out. people are crazy. i had one lady start yelling in my face because i asked her to pick up her dog's poop. she told me it was my job. idiot
#94 to #93 - gamergurlone **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
if it was my job, why on earth would there be OOPS stations all over the place? and im not picking up your dog's **** . i dont know what that thing has. i could get some kind of worm. but she and her min pin had to be banned from the store.
#99 to #94 - Rascal (04/07/2010) [-]
hey i have a min pin
yes i pick up the crap
-Lucario
#100 to #99 - gamergurlone **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
thank you! lol i hope for your sanity it doesnt yap all day like the rest of them do. i would much rather have the full size than the miniature.
User avatar #133 to #100 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
Me too, I hate little dogs that bark all the time.
My Doberman is full size he's a red one and his
name is Diablo he's awesome I've trained him to
get me a beer out of the fridge I need to post
a video of him doing it.
#271 to #133 - gamergurlone **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
oooh i love the red ones, you usually only see the black or chocolate ones. one time i saw a steel grey one, man was she beautiful. she was over 100 lbs too, just humongous. Her "boyfriend" was a red and about 130 lbs. they were going for giant pups
User avatar #97 to #94 - jogz (04/07/2010) [-]
why didn't you post your story?
#98 to #97 - gamergurlone **User deleted account** (04/07/2010) [-]
because that was before I knew what fj was. i know, sad huh?
User avatar #102 to #98 - jogz (04/07/2010) [-]
yes.... :(
#96 to #94 - Rascal (04/07/2010) [-]
cool story
User avatar #180 - TheExile (04/07/2010) [-]
The original version is better, but it was still pretty good.
User avatar #204 to #180 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
refer to comment #140
User avatar #193 - racingking (04/07/2010) [-]
you deserve a ******* medal
User avatar #179 - bPurplEd (04/07/2010) [-]
logged in just to rate this. However i was in school and my teacher caught me and now knows my password to a lot of stuff. Turns out my school uses key loggers...
User avatar #195 to #179 - NinjaRiCe (04/07/2010) [-]
Use multiple passwords, and i change them every two weeks.... this caution is well noted, due to the huge amounts of pr0n on my computer.....
User avatar #181 to #179 - ThePedoTerminator (04/07/2010) [-]
That ****** sucks.....You know that's illegal for them to do that right?
User avatar #183 to #181 - TheBobby (04/07/2010) [-]
its not illegal to do on your own computer
User avatar #208 to #179 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
Damn dude that sucks thanks though.
I'm gonna go to your account and give you
10 thumbs for all your trouble.
User avatar #91 - godslam (04/07/2010) [-]
Even if this isn't real, I still love it.
#45 - MtDewMan (04/06/2010) [-]
Old story with your own little bits added in.
User avatar #154 to #45 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
refer to comment #140
User avatar #111 - godisfake (04/07/2010) [-]
**godisfake rolls 150,997,183**
real life hero
User avatar #105 - babyblues (04/07/2010) [-]
so the diet works right?
User avatar #109 to #105 - LordRaymond ONLINE (04/07/2010) [-]
Yes, go home and try it, It's amazing!
#198 - Rascal (04/07/2010) [-]
ahhahhaa too bad you didn't do this. I've heard this joke hundreds of times faggot
User avatar #92 - funnykunkpwn (04/07/2010) [-]
repost? i think so
User avatar #82 - PointsMan (04/07/2010) [-]
This is an old joke, dickwipe. You didn't do this.
User avatar #151 to #82 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
refer to comment #140
#84 to #82 - Rascal (04/07/2010) [-]
so is a dickwipe like a napkin? Why didnt' you just call him a napkin...?
User avatar #85 to #84 - PointsMan (04/07/2010) [-]
Does napkin sound mean?
User avatar #87 to #85 - kadabra (04/07/2010) [-]
touche mr points man
#86 to #85 - Rascal (04/07/2010) [-]
yea, it hurted my feelings even though you called him a napkin.
#20 - Rascal (04/06/2010) [-]
Copy-paste troll.
User avatar #48 - SexPics (04/06/2010) [-]
Do i think you should put it on FJ?
hmmm.....
something tells me my opinion doesn't matter here.
User avatar #55 to #48 - Sylace (04/07/2010) [-]
For the days a man needs to remind himself the world doesn't revolve around him.
User avatar #57 to #55 - SexPics (04/07/2010) [-]
-_-
User avatar #69 to #57 - Sylace (04/07/2010) [-]
Just get a sandwich! you'll feel a lot better, trust me.
User avatar #33 - Mswati (04/06/2010) [-]
i think that you're a ******* liar and and you took an old story that you read somewhere (that i have read somewhere else) and edited it to seem like it happened to you in order to score some thumbs. well sir, i am aware of your schemes.

if you want to know i read it a long time ago on atlantaga *dot com*(dont want the url to be deleted) im not sure if its still there. its obviously under the jokes section.
User avatar #157 to #33 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
refer to comment #140
User avatar #64 - Mysterymeato (04/07/2010) [-]
**Mysterymeato rolls 535,740,473**this entire time I've been expecting the cashier to say "You're moving with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-air.
#24 - furfag **User deleted account** (04/06/2010) [-]
ive heard this story soooo many times
User avatar #159 to #24 - stanthemancarter (04/07/2010) [-]
refer to comment #140
User avatar #13 - VladTheInhaler (04/06/2010) [-]
I think you're an idiot for disobeying your girlfriend. Hope she doesn't see it :P
-2
#16 to #13 - yourstrulyanon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #17 to #16 - VladTheInhaler (04/06/2010) [-]
i think I'LL **** YOU WITH A RAKE
-4
#18 to #17 - yourstrulyanon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #19 to #18 - VladTheInhaler (04/06/2010) [-]
alright I've just gotta go buy a new rake, the last person i ****** with one it just kinda disintegrated
#25 to #19 - Rascal (04/06/2010) [-]
hes not ganna **** right for a week (:
User avatar #28 to #25 - airguitar (04/06/2010) [-]
Dude, by the time he gets the rake "yourstrulyanon" will have transformed into EpicBeardMan and will pound the **** out of him and his gardening tools
User avatar #113 - MildlyMetal (04/07/2010) [-]
Did you just ask us if you should put this on funny junk?
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