Top 100 Funniest One Liners. Some of them are so funny =D<br /> BTW the list changes 4 times per day so there will be some moving about <br /> Edit: Stand Back im a professional

Top 100 Funniest One Liners

You need to login to view this link Some of them are so funny =D<br />
BTW the list changes 4 times per day so there will be some moving about <br />
Edit: WOW! #9 on the front page! thanks guys

TOP 100 FUNNIEST C) lnl
Here are the top 14 of the list 'tit tir)
Click the link below for the full list! itally! ,
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn' t
work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for
forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will ck -
down to his level and beat you with
experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, lill "d
grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling I e
the passengers in his car.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question.
Yes" is the answer.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it' s
still on the list.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But
men can fake a whole relationship.
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
biisi, iil
If I agreed with ' he' d both be wrong.
Going to church doesn' t make you a Christian
any more than standing in a garage makes you
a car.
We never really grow up, we only
learn how to act in public.
Men have two emotions: Hungry
and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
War does not determine who is right - only
who is left.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their
life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you
spend the next 16 years telling them to sit
down and shuttup.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Thanks for iid' ' niitl
...
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Views: 33659
Favorited: 246
Submitted: 04/06/2010
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Comments(79):

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#24 - Beavernator **User deleted account** (04/06/2010) [+] (1 reply)
"I was born and raised in a poor family and we didn't have any money to spare for toys. Heck if I wasn't born a boy I'd have nothing to play with"
#3 - MrSquiggly **User deleted account** (04/06/2010) [+] (1 reply)
wisdom according to rednecks:
"I had two kidney stones but i wisdom both out."
User avatar #62 - sixsix (04/07/2010) [+] (8 replies)
lol " ask for forgive
User avatar #63 to #62 - sixsix (04/07/2010) [-]
Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
User avatar #54 - sheashea (04/07/2010) [-]
"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich."
Ah. That explains it.
User avatar #41 - Blitzz (04/07/2010) [-]
I bet you could've gotten about 1500 thumbs total if you would've kept doing this, but your not a thumbs up whore so Hitler salutes u.
#58 - rovor (04/07/2010) [+] (3 replies)
ok im sure that wasnt 100
User avatar #60 to #58 - iWaffle (04/07/2010) [-]
Read the titles, these are the top 14. The whole thing is in the description, you can submit your own, vote on the best etc.

I could have uploaded the whole 100 separately and got over 1500 combined thumbs but i'm not bothered about thumbs i just thought i'd share this site :P
User avatar #36 - LQTM (04/07/2010) [-]
If the world did not suck, we would all fall off imagine how deep the sea would be without sponges
if barbie is so popular , why do you have to buy her friends
User avatar #30 - KingRANDOM (04/06/2010) [-]
1 in 3 people fantasize about group sex






3 in 1 people is group sex
User avatar #26 - JasonBourne (04/06/2010) [-]
I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.
User avatar #46 - ManinRed (04/07/2010) [+] (6 replies)
The one about "Sex not being a question", caused my brain to autoplay a Nickelback song my sister was listening to earlier today. So now, I've got a Nickelback song stuck in my head. Someone put me out of my misery.
User avatar #4 - TheACEofSpades (04/06/2010) [+] (2 replies)
"The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese."
User avatar #53 - KisameFish (04/07/2010) [+] (2 replies)
Idc what anyone says, we treat a tomato like a vegetable everytime we use it. How often do you say, oh yea, I'm having healthy drinks, I'm getting some Apple juice, orange Juice, and oh can't forget the tomato juice, **** that, idc what scientists say, A TOMATO IS A VEGETABLE.
#55 to #53 - Bordemification (04/07/2010) [-]
You can get tomato juice, it goes in Bloody Mary's *DROOL*
User avatar #40 - twoheadedboy (04/07/2010) [+] (1 reply)
ahhh!i know the site he got these from he didnt even change the order
You need to login to view this link
#42 to #40 - Jesusmandude (04/07/2010) [-]
Captain Obvious failed to read the description!
User avatar #37 - CrushOrange (04/07/2010) [-]
Dear Diary, My mind has exploded.
User avatar #32 - KingAssToucher (04/06/2010) [-]
does that app perhapps come in a blue color?
User avatar #22 - MuthaFuckinTRex (04/06/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Apparently the first one came from a black man
User avatar #12 - adamsvette (04/06/2010) [+] (2 replies)
I DID NOT COUNT 100!!!


MOAR BITCH!
#14 to #12 - notablackperson (04/06/2010) [-]
click on the link in the description
User avatar #20 - MilesVergil (04/06/2010) [-]
Simply awesome...
User avatar #6 - FJalltheway (04/06/2010) [-]
**FJalltheway rolls 164,853,806**Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
User avatar #2 - Broodlord (04/06/2010) [-]
haha had to read the "still on the list" one a couple of times :D
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