MAGIKARP.. . QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD? GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT 71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WA Get a magikarp
x

MAGIKARP.

QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD?
GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR
AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT
71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WATER
90% OF LIFE IN THE WATER IS MAGIKARP
100% OF MAGIKARP' S BODY IS PURE PAIN
NO MATTER WHERE
You GO, YOU WILL
NOT BE SAFE.
Let' s give you some simple numbers so you
can comprehend Just how ****** you are,
20 base HP.
1 base attack
80 base speed.
If it' s raining, then its speed DOUBLES.
SWEET GANDHI' S TITS, THAT' S TERRIFYING
Well, guess what? We' re just getting warmed up. It' s
time to show you the deadly attacks Magikarp can use.
SPLASH
A Magikarp that lives for years can use this to LEAP OVER MOUNTAINS.
You can' t even walk over one without losing your breath.
Pictured: A pebble to a Magikarp.
TACKLE
That' s 10 kilograms of solid death being thrown right at your fat face.
FLAIL
If you can somehow get Magikarp to 1 HP, this move gets a base power
of 200. That sound was your bowels leaving your body in sheer terror.
BOUNCE
Because **** your grass types. As a bonus, Magikarp becomes even more
invincible than it nunnally is for one turn.
IF THAT' S SOMEHOW NOT ORGASMIC ENOUGH
FOR YOU, LOOK AT ITS SHINY FORM.
AAA»
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
2% italia%
I It I In
Every single word in that title is literal.
w HEY at
Put your pants back on, we' re not done yet.
SPEAKING OF ORGASMIC
Magikarp is in the DRAGON egg group. That
means that the following Pokemon are lining up
to have sex with it:
THIS IS IN ADDITION TO ANYTHING VAGUELY .
AND IT CREATES EVEN MORE MAGIKARP.
Here' s another terrifying stat for you, pussy
Now, I know what your self is thinking.
You' re right, it does have one terrible downside.
ITS EVOLUTION IS COMPLETE GARBAGE.
Not that " matters anyway. The B button was invented for a reason.
on '' MAGIKARP.
...
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Views: 148070
Favorited: 1410
Submitted: 02/08/2012
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Comments(997):

[ 997 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#400 - simfar (02/08/2012) [-]
like a baws
#815 to #400 - diddilydiddily (02/09/2012) [-]
i never thought i would live in a world where this was a compliment.   
   
My life is complete.
i never thought i would live in a world where this was a compliment.

My life is complete.
#136 - tkuja (02/08/2012) [-]
Oh ******* hell
#573 to #136 - anon (02/08/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 1,348**
User avatar #145 to #136 - thepoopshivers (02/08/2012) [-]
hahahaha and every one of those ******* is a magikarp
User avatar #152 to #145 - thedeviousfaggot (02/08/2012) [-]
That's the joke.
User avatar #424 to #170 - Scandium (02/08/2012) [-]
I love you're name.
#537 to #424 - thebacondanneh (02/08/2012) [-]
>love you're name   
>you're name   
>you're   
your*
>love you're name
>you're name
>you're
your*
#1093 to #537 - Scandium (02/09/2012) [-]
I've failed as a Grammar Nazi.
#1096 to #1093 - thebacondanneh (02/09/2012) [-]
Happens to the best of us.
Happens to the best of us.
User avatar #912 to #424 - dualshooter (02/09/2012) [-]
SON, YOU ARE NAME
User avatar #770 to #424 - thepoopshivers (02/09/2012) [-]
Thanks. It was inspired during a football practice when my defensive line buddies and I were on the sideline talking about pooping and then I brought up that ecstasy feeling when the turd passes the sphincter - magical. It was my xbox tag too.
User avatar #850 to #152 - buumblebee (02/09/2012) [-]
that's the joke.
0
#706 to #152 - concentratedjuice has deleted their comment [-]
#396 - proton (02/08/2012) [-]
Scumbag magikarp.
#134 - AwesomeAnonomous (02/08/2012) [-]
I just remember all those fishermen with their team full of Magikarps...

Hooooly ****
+53
#128 - jmozziel **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#88 - skwirl (02/08/2012) [-]
> Starts to play Pokemon to get a Magikarp   
> Gets Magikarp   
> Goes to train Magikarp   
> First battle   
> Sudden realization 'What the 			****		 am I doing?'   
   
You sir, need to go into sales.   
<- You in sales
> Starts to play Pokemon to get a Magikarp
> Gets Magikarp
> Goes to train Magikarp
> First battle
> Sudden realization 'What the **** am I doing?'

You sir, need to go into sales.
<- You in sales
#95 to #88 - anon (02/08/2012) [-]
Almost as good in sales as the powerthirst people.
#1104 to #1076 - rikusorax (02/09/2012) [-]
And so it was, that Magikarp later became Ash's pokemon bff.
#930 - blacksmokey (02/09/2012) [-]
Basically **** your pants when you encounter this in the water.
+39
#462 - sevant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#122 - hockeykicksass (02/08/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#1175 - severepwner (02/11/2012) [-]
SO SO RELATED!
#748 - evilpotato (02/09/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#680 - homicidalpickle (02/08/2012) [-]
But... so tasty
#714 to #680 - chezburger (02/08/2012) [-]
No f 'ing way!
#317 - grimmwaters ONLINE (02/08/2012) [-]
And with this..   
I shall RULE THE WORLD!
And with this..
I shall RULE THE WORLD!
#457 - chuckrodder (02/08/2012) [-]
&lt;----- Anyone remember this episode? :D
<----- Anyone remember this episode? :D
#486 to #457 - newzealander (02/08/2012) [-]
yes Hypno.......
yes Hypno.......
#480 to #457 - ruleroftheworld (02/08/2012) [-]
If anyone wonders - this if from episode 27 - when she is hypnotized by a hypno
If anyone wonders - this if from episode 27 - when she is hypnotized by a hypno
#24 - dafunkad (02/08/2012) [-]
magikarp !!!
magikarp !!!

#2 - tricher (02/08/2012) [-]
PIKACHU! Thunderbolt NOW!
PIKACHU! Thunderbolt NOW!
0
#493 to #2 - davegrowl has deleted their comment [-]
#27 to #2 - untamedlazyeye ONLINE (02/08/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#3 to #2 - tricher (02/08/2012) [-]
<-------- Your Magikcarp
User avatar #191 to #22 - RedPurpleRain (02/08/2012) [-]
That's cool, it only raped my childhood a little bit
User avatar #235 to #191 - virtigo ONLINE (02/08/2012) [-]
You know it's real, right?
User avatar #238 to #235 - RedPurpleRain (02/08/2012) [-]
Yep.
User avatar #4 to #3 - burgermeatt (02/08/2012) [-]
I would totally eat Magikarp right now, that hungry.
User avatar #5 to #4 - gahblah (02/08/2012) [-]
You must be a gay fish.
User avatar #6 to #5 - burgermeatt (02/08/2012) [-]
that's great.
#915 to #3 - qazaibomb (02/09/2012) [-]
also, unnecessary c is unnecessary.
also, unnecessary c is unnecessary.
#25 to #2 - dafunkad (02/08/2012) [-]
magikarp rapes your pikachu
magikarp rapes your pikachu
#31 to #25 - tricher (02/08/2012) [-]
I lost to a Magikcarp..........
I lost to a Magikcarp..........
#99 to #31 - dafunkad (02/08/2012) [-]
PIKACH, OK !    
Come back !    
   
Do it! MAGIKARP!
PIKACH, OK !
Come back !

Do it! MAGIKARP!


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