MAGIKARP.. . QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD? GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT 71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WA Get a magikarp
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MAGIKARP.

QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD?
GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR
AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT
71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WATER
90% OF LIFE IN THE WATER IS MAGIKARP
100% OF MAGIKARP' S BODY IS PURE PAIN
NO MATTER WHERE
You GO, YOU WILL
NOT BE SAFE.
Let' s give you some simple numbers so you
can comprehend Just how ****** you are,
20 base HP.
1 base attack
80 base speed.
If it' s raining, then its speed DOUBLES.
SWEET GANDHI' S TITS, THAT' S TERRIFYING
Well, guess what? We' re just getting warmed up. It' s
time to show you the deadly attacks Magikarp can use.
SPLASH
A Magikarp that lives for years can use this to LEAP OVER MOUNTAINS.
You can' t even walk over one without losing your breath.
Pictured: A pebble to a Magikarp.
TACKLE
That' s 10 kilograms of solid death being thrown right at your fat face.
FLAIL
If you can somehow get Magikarp to 1 HP, this move gets a base power
of 200. That sound was your bowels leaving your body in sheer terror.
BOUNCE
Because **** your grass types. As a bonus, Magikarp becomes even more
invincible than it nunnally is for one turn.
IF THAT' S SOMEHOW NOT ORGASMIC ENOUGH
FOR YOU, LOOK AT ITS SHINY FORM.
AAA»
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
2% italia%
I It I In
Every single word in that title is literal.
w HEY at
Put your pants back on, we' re not done yet.
SPEAKING OF ORGASMIC
Magikarp is in the DRAGON egg group. That
means that the following Pokemon are lining up
to have sex with it:
THIS IS IN ADDITION TO ANYTHING VAGUELY .
AND IT CREATES EVEN MORE MAGIKARP.
Here' s another terrifying stat for you, pussy
Now, I know what your self is thinking.
You' re right, it does have one terrible downside.
ITS EVOLUTION IS COMPLETE GARBAGE.
Not that " matters anyway. The B button was invented for a reason.
on '' MAGIKARP.
...
+5171
Views: 150074 Submitted: 02/08/2012
Leave a comment Refresh Comments (997)
[ 997 comments ]
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44 comments displayed.
#136 - tkuja
Reply +221
(02/08/2012) [-]
Oh ******* hell
#573 to #136 - anon
Reply 0
(02/08/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 1,348**
#145 to #136 - thepoopshivers
Reply +114
(02/08/2012) [-]
hahahaha and every one of those ******* is a magikarp
#152 to #145 - thedeviousfaggot
Reply -94
(02/08/2012) [-]
That's the joke.
#170 to #152 - thepoopshivers
Reply +66
(02/08/2012) [-]
#424 to #170 - Scandium
Reply +10
(02/08/2012) [-]
I love you're name.
#537 to #424 - thebacondanneh
Reply +39
(02/08/2012) [-]
>love you're name   
>you're name   
>you're   
your*
>love you're name
>you're name
>you're
your*
#1093 to #537 - Scandium
Reply 0
(02/09/2012) [-]
I've failed as a Grammar Nazi.
#1096 to #1093 - thebacondanneh
Reply 0
(02/09/2012) [-]
Happens to the best of us.
Happens to the best of us.
#912 to #424 - dualshooter
Reply +4
(02/09/2012) [-]
SON, YOU ARE NAME
#770 to #424 - thepoopshivers
Reply +3
(02/09/2012) [-]
Thanks. It was inspired during a football practice when my defensive line buddies and I were on the sideline talking about pooping and then I brought up that ecstasy feeling when the turd passes the sphincter - magical. It was my xbox tag too.
#850 to #152 - buumblebee
Reply 0
(02/09/2012) [-]
that's the joke.
#706 to #152 - concentratedjuice
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#2 - tricher
Reply +88
(02/08/2012) [-]
PIKACHU! Thunderbolt NOW!
PIKACHU! Thunderbolt NOW!
#493 to #2 - davegrowl
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#27 to #2 - untamedlazyeye
Reply +16
(02/08/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#25 to #2 - dafunkad
Reply +96
(02/08/2012) [-]
magikarp rapes your pikachu
magikarp rapes your pikachu
#31 to #25 - tricher
Reply +63
(02/08/2012) [-]
I lost to a Magikcarp..........
I lost to a Magikcarp..........
#99 to #31 - dafunkad
Reply +62
(02/08/2012) [-]
PIKACH, OK !    
Come back !    
   
Do it! MAGIKARP!
PIKACH, OK !
Come back !

Do it! MAGIKARP!


#3 to #2 - tricher
Reply +159
(02/08/2012) [-]
<-------- Your Magikcarp
#22 to #3 - holler
Reply +109
(02/08/2012) [-]
#191 to #22 - RedPurpleRain
Reply +33
(02/08/2012) [-]
That's cool, it only raped my childhood a little bit
#235 to #191 - virtigo
Reply +7
(02/08/2012) [-]
You know it's real, right?
#238 to #235 - RedPurpleRain
Reply +6
(02/08/2012) [-]
Yep.
#729 to #3 - breakfastlunch
Reply +13
(02/08/2012) [-]
#4 to #3 - burgermeatt
Reply +12
(02/08/2012) [-]
I would totally eat Magikarp right now, that hungry.
#5 to #4 - gahblah
Reply +52
(02/08/2012) [-]
You must be a gay fish.
#6 to #5 - burgermeatt
Reply -8
(02/08/2012) [-]
that's great.
#915 to #3 - qazaibomb
Reply +8
(02/09/2012) [-]
also, unnecessary c is unnecessary.
also, unnecessary c is unnecessary.
#72 - alostcause
Reply +90
(02/08/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#80 to #72 - naui
Reply +71
(02/08/2012) [-]
#400 - simfar
Reply +89
(02/08/2012) [-]
like a baws
#815 to #400 - diddilydiddily
Reply +3
(02/09/2012) [-]
i never thought i would live in a world where this was a compliment.   
   
My life is complete.
i never thought i would live in a world where this was a compliment.

My life is complete.
#337 - reptarz
Reply +83
(02/08/2012) [-]
#122 - hockeykicksass
Reply +79
(02/08/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#448 - ascian
Reply +58
(02/08/2012) [-]
#481 to #448 - zombiefacepuncher
Reply +12
(02/08/2012) [-]
Not unless you hit the /B/ button
#314 - mathcow
Reply +58
(02/08/2012) [-]
#723 to #314 - icanthinkofname **User deleted account**
-2
has deleted their comment [-]
#1167 to #314 - icanthinkofname **User deleted account**
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#463 to #314 - shitshitshit
Reply +2
(02/08/2012) [-]
all magikarp
#88 - skwirl
Reply +56
(02/08/2012) [-]
&gt; Starts to play Pokemon to get a Magikarp   
&gt; Gets Magikarp   
&gt; Goes to train Magikarp   
&gt; First battle   
&gt; Sudden realization 'What the **** am I doing?'   
   
You sir, need to go into sales.   
&lt;- You in sales
> Starts to play Pokemon to get a Magikarp
> Gets Magikarp
> Goes to train Magikarp
> First battle
> Sudden realization 'What the **** am I doing?'

You sir, need to go into sales.
<- You in sales
#95 to #88 - anon
Reply 0
(02/08/2012) [-]
Almost as good in sales as the powerthirst people.
#128 - jmozziel **User deleted account**
+53
has deleted their comment [-]