MAGIKARP.. . QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD? GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT 71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WA
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MAGIKARP.

QUICK, WHAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POKEMON IN THE WORLD?
GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR
AND PAY ATTENTION GODDAMMIT
71% OF THE PLANET' S SURFACE IS WATER
90% OF LIFE IN THE WATER IS MAGIKARP
100% OF MAGIKARP' S BODY IS PURE PAIN
NO MATTER WHERE
You GO, YOU WILL
NOT BE SAFE.
Let' s give you some simple numbers so you
can comprehend Just how ****** you are,
20 base HP.
1 base attack
80 base speed.
If it' s raining, then its speed DOUBLES.
SWEET GANDHI' S TITS, THAT' S TERRIFYING
Well, guess what? We' re just getting warmed up. It' s
time to show you the deadly attacks Magikarp can use.
SPLASH
A Magikarp that lives for years can use this to LEAP OVER MOUNTAINS.
You can' t even walk over one without losing your breath.
Pictured: A pebble to a Magikarp.
TACKLE
That' s 10 kilograms of solid death being thrown right at your fat face.
FLAIL
If you can somehow get Magikarp to 1 HP, this move gets a base power
of 200. That sound was your bowels leaving your body in sheer terror.
BOUNCE
Because **** your grass types. As a bonus, Magikarp becomes even more
invincible than it nunnally is for one turn.
IF THAT' S SOMEHOW NOT ******** ENOUGH
FOR YOU, LOOK AT ITS SHINY FORM.
AAA»
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
AAA»
taf
KW I
2% italia%
I It I In
Every single word in that title is literal.
w HEY at
Put your pants back on, we' re not done yet.
SPEAKING OF ********
Magikarp is in the DRAGON egg group. That
means that the following Pokemon are lining up
to have sex with it:
THIS IS IN ADDITION TO ANYTHING VAGUELY .
AND IT CREATES EVEN MORE MAGIKARP.
Here' s another terrifying stat for you, *****
Now, I know what your self is thinking.
You' re right, it does have one terrible downside.
ITS EVOLUTION IS COMPLETE GARBAGE.
Not that " matters anyway. The B button was invented for a reason.
on '' MAGIKARP.
...
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Views: 134896
Favorited: 1420
Submitted: 02/08/2012
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Comments(995):

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User avatar #1097 - capslockrage (02/02/2013) [-]
So i was linked to this, and I must say.
It's incredibly ******* retarded.
Magikarp sucks, stop trying to be funny.
#1098 to #1097 - garymuthafuknoak (02/03/2013) [-]
You're just jealous of Magikarps swagger
#1095 - anonymous (08/11/2012) [-]
rolls 12
#1194 - Fgner (03/26/2012) [-]
I bought that Magikarp for a million bucks, because Magikarp is ******* worth it.
So much better than THIS ***** .
User avatar #1193 - logsnackers (03/24/2012) [-]
Just needed to see this again...
#1192 - anonymous (02/24/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 2**
User avatar #1184 - joee (02/13/2012) [-]
**joee rolls 057**
#1179 - fistoftheaxis (02/11/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#1175 - severepwner ONLINE (02/11/2012) [-]
SO SO RELATED!
User avatar #1168 - awesomedudeforty (02/10/2012) [-]
I'm gonna go catch one now...
User avatar #1166 - kliiks (02/09/2012) [-]
laughed so hard at this like i didnt in weeks xD really nice one
User avatar #1121 - docxy (02/09/2012) [-]
i named my magicarp deity fish
#1118 - anonymous (02/09/2012) [-]
how do you reply to a comment
#1172 to #1118 - anonymous (02/10/2012) [-]
like this you idiot.
User avatar #1096 to #1172 - darkjustifier (08/13/2012) [-]
It could have been the exact same person insulting themselves O_O
#1117 - anonymous (02/09/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 69** to # 1102 i want dubs all so
#1116 - anonymous (02/09/2012) [-]
*1102* my dubs
*1102* my dubs
#1115 - anotherbassist (02/09/2012) [-]
This is the best Pokemon.
#1113 - anonymous (02/09/2012) [-]
#1102 hey my dubs
User avatar #1176 to #1112 - severepwner ONLINE (02/11/2012) [-]
Now you're just stating extremely easy possibilities. Chuck Norris beat the Elite Four with a Metapod.
User avatar #1181 to #1176 - notsureifanon (02/13/2012) [-]
...and he didn't used harden...
#1110 - lucidplatypus (02/09/2012) [-]
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