Tard Stories 17 (18 in desc.). 16: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+16/TlGvDGy/ 18: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+18/LcRvDYp.. >5th grade. >leave class to go to the bathroom >walk in to see tard taking a in urinal >tard stares at me >he starts to clap his hands and bark l
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Tard Stories 17 (18 in desc.)

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Views: 66473
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Submitted: 01/05/2012
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#7 - Klusterpuck (01/05/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>5th grade.
>leave class to go to the bathroom
>walk in to see tard taking a **** in urinal
>tard stares at me
>he starts to clap his hands and bark like a seal
>i run out of bathroom
>turn around and see normal kid walk out of bathroom
>we looked at each other and walked away
>a few days later i see non tard kid at recess
>he stares at me for a few seconds
>starts clapping his hands and barking like a seal
>mf every time i've seen him since
#166 - HellsSponge ONLINE (01/06/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>tard in my class a few years ago, pretty sure he's autistic
>sucks pinkie and programs HTML all day
>rages easily about stupid computer ****
>I go over to him one day in highschool with my friends
>I intend to make him rage
>I ask him why he is so bad at programming unix (I know it's not unix)
>tard rages out, jumps up with tard yell
>I back up
>he starts screaming at me that its not unix
>throws keyboard
>i duck
>hits other kid, kid cries
>tards wrangler steps in and wrangles him
>he gets pulled off to some tard school
>I hear later that year that he made a tard website for all the tard kids at the tard school
>I have to look
>I go to the tard website
>I look at it
>site is well-designed but full of retarded ****
>site is just a bunch of pictures the tards found and thought were funny
>all the pictures have tards commenting on them
>comments are complete gibberish
>laugh hysterically at site
>leave ****** site we should ignore
#96 - remsaman (01/06/2012) [+] (3 replies)
>Year 8
>in a private school
>school ends 10 minutes before others
>school ended, walking home
>pass by a 'special' school(tard central)
>tard centrals bell rings
>oh god no
>hundreds of tards pour out the front gate almost simultaneously
>three almost get hit by a car, even though the speed limit was 5 KMPH
>watch as a biker, who was passing the school at the time, turns around with a horrified look on his face
>biker fails to pick up enough speed to escape the tsu-tardy
>he gets surrounded by tards
>one rips off his helmet and runs away
>suddenly realise im standing in their path
> **** **** **** ****
>run
>running past a small indent in the wall
>hand pulls me in
>its a teacher at the school
>he keeps hold of me until the hundreds of tards run past
>lets me go and apologizes
>give him a nod and walk off


#87 - snipersaurusrex (01/06/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>Be in 8th Grade
>World History
>Tard sitting next to me
>Teacher cracks a really bad pun
>Tard gets up
>Death stare at the teacher
>Wrangler trys calming the tard down
>Wrath of Tard invoked
>Tard yells "NO" at wrangler, using the Thu'um of Tards.
>Tard, maintaining stare, walks up to teacher.
>Teacher tries calming him down.
>Tard just repeatedly shouts "NAWT FUNEE" over Wrangler and Teacher's voices
>Entire class just silent but the tard yells
>Tard starts pissing himself
>Teacher tells him to stop
>Tard delivers the kick of destiny right to the teacher's testicles
>Wrangler gets up, tries taming Tardicus
>Tard throwing Punches of Fury
>More wranglers come in
>Tard has his pants off
> ******** and pissing everywhere
>Rest of us get sent to library
>MFW
#269 - herebedragons (01/06/2012) [+] (10 replies)
>15 years old, with tard in science class
>copying down note, with tard two seats over, no one in between us
>look over, tard is fapping, nearing climax MFW
>tard cums in hand, makes a piercing scream as he does so
>looks for something to wipe his tard cum on
>looks at me
> **** .jpg
>lunges at me, yelling; whole class is frozen in fear, including teacher and tard wrangler
>I barely ******* dodge, and run to the back of the class towards door #2 (classroom has 2 doors)
>bad idea, door is locked from outside
>tard closing in, no escape , make split second decision
>spartan kick him in chest with combat boots (I was a punk rock kid)
>retard goes sprawling back, clutched at chest with cum-covered hand, wiping it on himself
>I ******* haul ass to the first door, with tard close behind
>sprinting down the hall, heavy boots slowing me down and making a tremendous noise, alerting all the classes
>several people look out, see me running, with tard covered in cum in tard dick flopping about making slapping noise close behind
>he starts beating off again, I notice tard wrangler is close behind
>several people scream, I nearly **** myself with terror; tard is yelling
>tard wrangler does ******* flying football tackle, knocking tard to ground, just as he cums a second time.
>drags tard by his ******* ankles (only place not covered in cum or **** /piss)
>Tard looks me in eye; says I GET YUO MAGNEWS
>I get in ******* **** for kicking tard (broke two ribs of his)
>tards never in any of my classes again. I get treated like a hero
>Still have flashbacks
+48
#123 - Rome **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (5 replies)
#133 - LTB (01/06/2012) [-]
My favorite part about this story posts is that even after I've finished reading the content theres always some more stories in the comments.
My favorite part about this story posts is that even after I've finished reading the content theres always some more stories in the comments.
#3 - greatguygabe (01/05/2012) [-]
>Be in 5th grade
>In hallway
>2 tards getting ready for gym
>All of the sudden, 1 tard climbs on top of other
>Starts humping other tard
>Half the class watching now
>Tard 2 likes it, full on dry hump
>Whole class is watching now
>Tard 1 screams out some sort of tard orgasm
>Teacher comes in and pulls them into room
>More moaning
>Screaming
>Tards come out into the hall again
>Full on ************
> ***************************** .jpg
>Gym starts.
User avatar #95 - lemurdecatta (01/06/2012) [-]
>be on funnyjunk
>see a tard post
>hey that's pretty funny
>make up own tard post
>has never met a tard
#74 - foelkera (01/06/2012) [+] (5 replies)
>7th grade
>Going to math class, see tard and tard wrangler walking down the hall
>Tard has a bit of a history
>Always getting in trouble because of his tardy antics
>Tard sees new fire extinguisher
>It's a very glossy red color
>Tard screams "SHINY!"
>Grabs extinguisher
>Wrangler attempts to restrain him
>Tard strength activated
>He grabs her arm in a vicelike grip
>Beating wrangler with extinguisher
>Backup arrives
>Several wranglers surround him
>He sets off fire alarm nearby, sprays all the wranglers with a cloud of extinguisher foam
>Wranglers knocked back from blast
>Tard runs down the hall, beating back wranglers with extinguisher
>Other tards break free from their wranglers, join forces with extinguisher tard
>Start screaming war cries in tardese
>School evacuated, police called
>MFW Tard revolt
#78 - ohharroder (01/06/2012) [-]
>Be in primary school
>Autistic kid goes on a rage
>Tries to kick me
>Catch his leg, He sorta just stands there not knowing what to do
>He tries to kick me with the other ******* leg?!
>Falls on the floor
>I leave, never get blamed
>feelsgoodman.jpg

User avatar #6 - Akinator (01/05/2012) [-]
-In student lounge, during lunch.
-melon munchertard walks up to me and friends
-Walks up to Andrew
-Says "You're really cute.."
-Tard is a guy
-Tard asks Andrew: "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?"
-Andrew scared too ******** to respond
-Tard inches closer
-Licks Andrew's ear
-Giggles and runs away, face peering from around the corner smiling for the rest of the break
-what the ****
#105 - ImaTumor (01/06/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>Be 24.
>Semi-successful Russian Immigrant worker.
>Work as delivery man for meat processing company.
>Get delivery to take to an All Tard School.
>Oh god no, why me.
>Open the main doors.
>Primitive looking Tard art everywhere, it's like some barbarian village of arts and crafts.
>Go to Cafeteria.
>Double padlocked.
>This cant be good.
>Hear loud, off beat stomping coming in my general direction.
>Enter Tardicus, 300lb. monster tard wind sprinting toward me.
>Full force tackles me and my dolly full of hamburger and meat.
>Smash my head on a wall
>Tard tears open a box and starts eating all this meat raw.
>I'm still on the ground trying to figure out what the **** happened.
>Enter Wrangler.
>Pulls tard away from hamburger (at this point, he must've motored 2 lbs of raw hamburger.)
>Vomits all over the floor.
>Screams some archaic warcry in Tardese, pukes again, and sprints out the door, wrangler in chase.
>I can't even bring myself to drive within a kilometer of that school anymore.
>MFW.

#77 - guythatrolls (01/06/2012) [+] (2 replies)
>Be in Health class with tard in middle of room
>He cusses randomly sometimes, random outbursts
>Taking test one day
>Tard walks in late as always
>Starts taking test
>"ERRR, ******* TEST"
>A few people giggle
>Someone farts while laughing
>Like mega fart
>Tard hears fart
>"ERRRRR ,GAS ME UP"
>He starts to ******* spazz, class is staring at him
>Teacher simply think it's another spazz
>Tard looks at teacher, still spazzing
>Tard charges at nearest window near me
>He fails but cracks the glass a bit
>Is near me when he falls
>He looks at me and says
>"Remember me for what I'm going to do"
>Wut.jpg
>He screams and spazzes getting up
>Charges again at window breaking through
mfw
User avatar #356 - ihasthepancakemix (01/06/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>me in 4th grade
>go into bathroom, see tard at urinal with pants at ankles
>ew
>see bully tard go up to him and slap his ass cheeks
>I am disgusted at the bully tards behavior and tell him that was stupid of him
>he smacks the pissin tards butt even more
>the pissin tard thinks it's funny that the bully tard is smacking his ass
>pissin tard sharts on bully tards hand while laughing
>bully tard punches pissin tard in the back of the head and runs out of bathroom without cleaning hands
>pissin tard falls and holds head and cries
>i am shocked and don't know what to do
>i leave the bathroom with a pokerface and I laugh once i am in a safe area
>feel guilty about laughing
>go home and play ocarina of time
#82 - gfourtolip (01/06/2012) [-]
I ******* love you.

>7th grade, 2007
>last week of school
>had detention
>sitting quietly doing homework
>tard walks in
>asks if it is room #(I can't remember)
>teacher says it isnt, asks if he needs security to come help him find it
>upon hearing this tard starts to cry
>goes into fetal position
>pisses himself
>teacher calls tard wranglers
>tard wranglers try to convince him to get up
>he screams louder and shouts "I DONT LIEK THE MEAN MAN"
>tard wrangler trys to pick up tard
>tard bites tard wrangler
>runs out of room, wrangler chasing him
>sitting there for a good 30 seconds when i hear wild tard scream
>he comes running down the halway
>tard wranglers entice him with jolly ranchers
>bring tard down to office
>tard is sent to tard school
>never saw him again
User avatar #72 - ryrywwwyki (01/06/2012) [+] (1 reply)
>in cafateria eating lunch
>hear something
>look to the left
>look to the right
>see tard lift up the microwave and run out off the cafeteria
>hides in janitors closet or something
> all teachers are looking for him
> i really have to **** so i sheepishly go to the bathroom hoping i dont run into tard
>that was a mistake
>tard emerges from his lair (janitor closet next to bathroom), naked, microwave full of steaming **** .
>im in a stall taking a ****
>hear tard walk in
>next thing i know a microwave full of steaming tard **** is hurled over stall door and lands directly in-front of me
> **** goes everywhere
>i cant escape the stall because there is **** all over the floor and tard is still doing something outside of stall
>about 15 terrifying minutes later teachers enter bathroom
>tard screeches and crawls under the stall door and into the stall with me, he's covered in ****
>tard lifts microwave and throwes it out of the stall and it narrowly misses the teacher that is my only hope of survival
>tard gives me some sort of tard lap dance and doesnt stop until the teachers get into the stall and remove him.
>fml D:
#149 - IAMSTEEEVEE (01/06/2012) [-]
> 10th grade   
>computer class   
> everyone hates this kid in class   
> tard hates him even more    
>tard takes  kids earphones and rips them in pieces while teacher is gone   
>tard gets punched in stomach   
>tard gets yelled at a bit   
> tard tells kid he wants to apologize before class    
>next day   
> tard puts meat spin on literally every computer ( i dont really know how he got passowrds for every computer)   
> kid walks in goes has wtf moment    
> class and teacher walk in as bell rings and sees kid trying to get rid of alll the meatspin    
> tard crying in corner saying he put all this stuff on the computer and made him sit here    
>kid suspended for 30 days    
> Tard knows how to 						*******					 plan
> 10th grade
>computer class
> everyone hates this kid in class
> tard hates him even more
>tard takes kids earphones and rips them in pieces while teacher is gone
>tard gets punched in stomach
>tard gets yelled at a bit
> tard tells kid he wants to apologize before class
>next day
> tard puts meat spin on literally every computer ( i dont really know how he got passowrds for every computer)
> kid walks in goes has wtf moment
> class and teacher walk in as bell rings and sees kid trying to get rid of alll the meatspin
> tard crying in corner saying he put all this stuff on the computer and made him sit here
>kid suspended for 30 days
> Tard knows how to ******* plan
User avatar #10 - Jaystray (01/05/2012) [-]
you've brought the funny back to funnyjunk man
#192 - kaneparker (01/06/2012) [-]
>Be home schooled   
>It was my idea   
>Have no friends now   
>I'm the tard.
>Be home schooled
>It was my idea
>Have no friends now
>I'm the tard.
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