Tard Stories 17 (18 in desc.). 16: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+16/TlGvDGy/ 18: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+18/LcRvDYp.. >5th grade. >leave class to go to the bathroom >walk in to see tard taking a in urinal >tard stares at me >he starts to clap his hands and bark l
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#381 - anonymous (01/03/2013) [-]
>In a 2/3 split class with a short, friendly, and rather calm downy kid and his older sister coming to visit
>Downy kid has some weird stringy **** all over his face, and I have no clue what it was or where it came from.
>Sister starts picking the stringy **** off his face, I am lead to conclude it was fiber from a banana peel
>NOOH I GAUT ITT
Can't remember the rest, because I got to my work after
#382 to #381 - anonymous (01/03/2013) [-]
also another time
>Be in 1st grade
>Same tard as before was doing some artwork (a coloring book of course)
>He starts moaning out of stress of not knowing what the **** he was supposed to do
>Tardwrangler says "Don't do that, that's what kindergarten students do!" in attempt to make him feel like the kinders were all stupid and that he was dropping to their level
>continued moaning for a while
Once again I don't remember anything after that
0
#394 - cursedheretic has deleted their comment [-]
#389 - bannanpojk (01/07/2012) [-]
> Tard walks around in the hallway
>Suddenly a huge turk appears
> "EYYY Morgan, what's up?!"-Turk
> Tard slowly turns his head, looking straight into the turks eyes
> "I don't talk to melon munchers"- Tard

<----- everyone nearby's thought.
#388 - goonmcnasty (01/07/2012) [-]
MFW When my name is Jordan and you've just ruined my dreams for tonight and possibly my life.
User avatar #383 - zafara (01/06/2012) [-]
My older brother has some mental retardation, but he's high functioning. He's more of a "I reject your reality and substitute my own" kind.
>Thinks the Queen of Englasnd Never exsited
>Believes that he doesn't have to pay bills or taxes and makes our parents do them becuase they don't want to see him arrested.
>I Swear he's an alcoholic, goes out drinking till three in the morning
>I swear he also smokes weed or something strong
>Tard job selling cigs at gas stations
> never Finished High School
>Swear he's only faking it so he can do what he wants and not get in trouble.
#380 - unrealthrash (01/06/2012) [-]
Oh god, I almost pee myself , and I'm my ******* job, damn you OP....
#376 - thegameop (01/06/2012) [-]
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee god damnit more!!!! moar!!! moar!!!!!!!!
+2
#371 - leveetothechevy **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#369 - exoh (01/06/2012) [-]
&gt;hanging with my friend at his place   
&gt;he has an older autistic brother (roughly 5'8 at this point and probably close to 250lbs) and a younger mildly autistic ADHD brother (4'7 and probably around 60 lbs)   
&gt;playing mortal kombat when he tells me &quot;hey wanna have a lot more fun?&quot;   
&gt;being curious say yes   
&gt;calls down his brothers from upstairs and tells me to grab a laser pointer and follow his lead   
&gt;come back and see his tard little brother in tighty whities and a luchador mask while carrying a broom and tard older brother in a plastic knight helmet and carrying a hose   
&gt;confused as 						****					   
&gt;friend has a laser pointer and yells &quot;MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!&quot; and points the laser pointer on his older brother, i do the same but at his younger brother.   
&gt;tardese screams from both ends that seep into my soul and then all hell breaks loose   
&gt;luchador tard is a 						*******					 monkey and tries climbing on the older tard and trying to punch him in the head   
&gt;older tard summons tard strength with a huge bellowing yell and throws him into a door   
&gt;luchador tard tries lancing with the broom but fails horribly and falls   
&gt; larger tard sits on top of him and claps while repeating the word hose   
&gt;friend yells &quot;finish him!&quot; in his best shao khan voice   
&gt;giant tard picks up little luchador as if it was nothing   
&gt;bellows another scream and runs to back porch and throws luchador tard off the edge of the porch   
&gt;friend sits there laughing while i realized i just witnessed   
&gt;mfw   
   
in the end his mom came home and saw the damage to the little luchador and im not allowed back.
>hanging with my friend at his place
>he has an older autistic brother (roughly 5'8 at this point and probably close to 250lbs) and a younger mildly autistic ADHD brother (4'7 and probably around 60 lbs)
>playing mortal kombat when he tells me "hey wanna have a lot more fun?"
>being curious say yes
>calls down his brothers from upstairs and tells me to grab a laser pointer and follow his lead
>come back and see his tard little brother in tighty whities and a luchador mask while carrying a broom and tard older brother in a plastic knight helmet and carrying a hose
>confused as ****
>friend has a laser pointer and yells "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!" and points the laser pointer on his older brother, i do the same but at his younger brother.
>tardese screams from both ends that seep into my soul and then all hell breaks loose
>luchador tard is a ******* monkey and tries climbing on the older tard and trying to punch him in the head
>older tard summons tard strength with a huge bellowing yell and throws him into a door
>luchador tard tries lancing with the broom but fails horribly and falls
> larger tard sits on top of him and claps while repeating the word hose
>friend yells "finish him!" in his best shao khan voice
>giant tard picks up little luchador as if it was nothing
>bellows another scream and runs to back porch and throws luchador tard off the edge of the porch
>friend sits there laughing while i realized i just witnessed
>mfw

in the end his mom came home and saw the damage to the little luchador and im not allowed back.
#368 - nimphorican (01/06/2012) [-]
i am a tard wrangler and i love all these

User avatar #364 - jamrobot (01/06/2012) [-]
this is directed at the person 2 comments below....
1. i am sure we have all had our fair share of struggles, given they may not have been as serious.
2. if you aren't somewhat amused by dark humor, how did you stumble all the way through the internet to funnyjunk?
3. you = sensitive ******** :)
User avatar #397 to #374 - jamrobot (01/23/2012) [-]
yeah yeah
#373 to #364 - sonnyboy (01/06/2012) [-]
There is a "reply" button you know...
User avatar #356 - ihasthepancakemix (01/06/2012) [-]
>me in 4th grade
>go into bathroom, see tard at urinal with pants at ankles
>ew
>see bully tard go up to him and slap his ass cheeks
>I am disgusted at the bully tards behavior and tell him that was stupid of him
>he smacks the pissin tards butt even more
>the pissin tard thinks it's funny that the bully tard is smacking his ass
>pissin tard sharts on bully tards hand while laughing
>bully tard punches pissin tard in the back of the head and runs out of bathroom without cleaning hands
>pissin tard falls and holds head and cries
>i am shocked and don't know what to do
>i leave the bathroom with a pokerface and I laugh once i am in a safe area
>feel guilty about laughing
>go home and play ocarina of time
#366 to #356 - anonymous (01/06/2012) [-]
">Go home and play ocarina of time"
Like a baawwsss
User avatar #355 - jdouglas (01/06/2012) [-]
HAHA! YOU'RE IN SUMMER SCHOOL? SURE YOU'RE NOT A 'TARD?
User avatar #379 to #355 - aisuclena (01/06/2012) [-]
Extra credits, fast tracking, etc.
SURE YOU'RE NOT A 'TARD?
User avatar #353 - elementjif (01/06/2012) [-]
These aren't that funny IN MY OPINION, but I'm still going to pinkie because you've made 17 comps.
User avatar #348 - chuckforit (01/06/2012) [-]
There isn't any didn't read gifs or pic in this hole page of comment, and sadly i don't have any :(
#344 - victoryxgarden (01/06/2012) [-]
Tard cruise ends tard-ly
Tard cruise ends tard-ly
User avatar #343 - nucularwar (01/06/2012) [-]
some of these should be in morbid channel...
#340 - pandamaniac (01/06/2012) [-]
>last October, cousins 15th b-day party
>people start dancing , including tard cousin.
>aunt tries to tell her not to dance in the middle.
>tells her to dance at the edge of the group.
>tard cousin start to yell no.
>she runs like there's no tomorrow
>drop kicks birthday girl and starts break dancing screaming like an ape.
>me looking like retarded seal clapping,
>i was laughing at some thing else.
>tard cousin screams at me and drop kicks me.
>mom yells at me for laughing
>mfw i get in trouble and she doesn't
#359 to #340 - phartzilla (01/06/2012) [-]
now THAT'S funny! (kinda)
#338 - FightClub (01/06/2012) [-]
This image has expired
******** and laughing LOL
User avatar #331 - naginatorz (01/06/2012) [-]
the story with the 8 year old gave me feels inside.
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