Tard Stories 17 (18 in desc.). 16: /channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+16/TlGvDGy/ 18: /channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+18/LcRvDYp.. >5th grade. >leave class to go to the bathroom >walk in to see tard taking a in urinal >tard stares at me >he starts to clap his hands and bark l roll post
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#7 - Klusterpuck
Reply +76
(01/05/2012) [-]
>5th grade.
>leave class to go to the bathroom
>walk in to see tard taking a **** in urinal
>tard stares at me
>he starts to clap his hands and bark like a seal
>i run out of bathroom
>turn around and see normal kid walk out of bathroom
>we looked at each other and walked away
>a few days later i see non tard kid at recess
>he stares at me for a few seconds
>starts clapping his hands and barking like a seal
>mf every time i've seen him since
#48 to #7 - chewythewolftwo
Reply +1
(01/05/2012) [-]
This is one of the best I've read
#138 to #7 - stebok
Reply +6
(01/06/2012) [-]
I like how this one sort of has a happy ending.   
   
gif unrelated.
I like how this one sort of has a happy ending.

gif unrelated.
#14 to #7 - finalfantasyfan
Reply +7
(01/05/2012) [-]
You, sir, have made me guffaw in a loud manner.
#166 - HellsSponge
Reply +67
(01/06/2012) [-]
>tard in my class a few years ago, pretty sure he's autistic
>sucks pinkie and programs HTML all day
>rages easily about stupid computer ****
>I go over to him one day in highschool with my friends
>I intend to make him rage
>I ask him why he is so bad at programming unix (I know it's not unix)
>tard rages out, jumps up with tard yell
>I back up
>he starts screaming at me that its not unix
>throws keyboard
>i duck
>hits other kid, kid cries
>tards wrangler steps in and wrangles him
>he gets pulled off to some tard school
>I hear later that year that he made a tard website for all the tard kids at the tard school
>I have to look
>I go to the tard website
>I look at it
>site is well-designed but full of retarded ****
>site is just a bunch of pictures the tards found and thought were funny
>all the pictures have tards commenting on them
>comments are complete gibberish
>laugh hysterically at site
>leave ****** site we should ignore
#381 to #166 - lolfish
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#384 to #381 - xxTheJesterxx
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
he did... at the beginning it says "leave ****** site we should ignore" as a joke, when you post 9 g a g without the spaces its ****** site we should ignore
#169 to #166 - holyshitxd
Reply +22
(01/06/2012) [-]
Did NOT see that coming. pinkie!!
#96 - remsaman
Reply +60
(01/06/2012) [-]
>Year 8
>in a private school
>school ends 10 minutes before others
>school ended, walking home
>pass by a 'special' school(tard central)
>tard centrals bell rings
>oh god no
>hundreds of tards pour out the front gate almost simultaneously
>three almost get hit by a car, even though the speed limit was 5 KMPH
>watch as a biker, who was passing the school at the time, turns around with a horrified look on his face
>biker fails to pick up enough speed to escape the tsu-tardy
>he gets surrounded by tards
>one rips off his helmet and runs away
>suddenly realise im standing in their path
>**** **** **** ****
>run
>running past a small indent in the wall
>hand pulls me in
>its a teacher at the school
>he keeps hold of me until the hundreds of tards run past
>lets me go and apologizes
>give him a nod and walk off


#113 to #96 - anon
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
Reminds me of Lion King
Tards= Wilda Beasts
#296 to #113 - perfectionx
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#297 to #96 - perfectionx
Reply +6
(01/06/2012) [-]
You god amongst men, Tsu-tardy got me cracked up all day.


Mfw the teacher pushed you back in yelling "LONG LIVE THE KING!"
#87 - snipersaurusrex
Reply +58
(01/06/2012) [-]
>Be in 8th Grade
>World History
>Tard sitting next to me
>Teacher cracks a really bad pun
>Tard gets up
>Death stare at the teacher
>Wrangler trys calming the tard down
>Wrath of Tard invoked
>Tard yells "NO" at wrangler, using the Thu'um of Tards.
>Tard, maintaining stare, walks up to teacher.
>Teacher tries calming him down.
>Tard just repeatedly shouts "NAWT FUNEE" over Wrangler and Teacher's voices
>Entire class just silent but the tard yells
>Tard starts pissing himself
>Teacher tells him to stop
>Tard delivers the kick of destiny right to the teacher's testicles
>Wrangler gets up, tries taming Tardicus
>Tard throwing Punches of Fury
>More wranglers come in
>Tard has his pants off
>******** and pissing everywhere
>Rest of us get sent to library
>MFW
#106 to #87 - heroicnapkin
Reply +13
(01/06/2012) [-]
lol hahahahahah the Thu'um of Tards
#269 - herebedragons
Reply +52
(01/06/2012) [-]
>15 years old, with tard in science class
>copying down note, with tard two seats over, no one in between us
>look over, tard is fapping, nearing climax MFW
>tard cums in hand, makes a piercing scream as he does so
>looks for something to wipe his tard cum on
>looks at me
>****.jpg
>lunges at me, yelling; whole class is frozen in fear, including teacher and tard wrangler
>I barely ******* dodge, and run to the back of the class towards door #2 (classroom has 2 doors)
>bad idea, door is locked from outside
>tard closing in, no escape , make split second decision
>spartan kick him in chest with combat boots (I was a punk rock kid)
>retard goes sprawling back, clutched at chest with cum-covered hand, wiping it on himself
>I ******* haul ass to the first door, with tard close behind
>sprinting down the hall, heavy boots slowing me down and making a tremendous noise, alerting all the classes
>several people look out, see me running, with tard covered in cum in tard dick flopping about making slapping noise close behind
>he starts beating off again, I notice tard wrangler is close behind
>several people scream, I nearly **** myself with terror; tard is yelling
>tard wrangler does ******* flying football tackle, knocking tard to ground, just as he cums a second time.
>drags tard by his ******* ankles (only place not covered in cum or ****/piss)
>Tard looks me in eye; says I GET YUO MAGNEWS
>I get in ******* **** for kicking tard (broke two ribs of his)
>tards never in any of my classes again. I get treated like a hero
>Still have flashbacks
#299 to #269 - jigglepuff
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
You have no idea how much i ******* lol'd
#303 to #269 - professortoast
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
<---Down the hall
<---Down the hall
#330 to #269 - rubylol
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
Oh god lol! Also what type of boots. Yours seem to be the best for self defence against tards e.g docs...!
#392 to #330 - herebedragons
Reply 0
(01/07/2012) [-]
Generic black, steel toe, heavy sole, not good for running.

similar to this:

http://www . fcsurplus . ca/shopping/products/112-Foot-Wear-Accessories/306753-Magnum-Stealth-Force-80-Ta ctical-Unit-Combat-Boots/

remove spaces
#390 to #269 - herebedragons
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#271 to #269 - herebedragons
Reply +8
(01/06/2012) [-]
I have moar, i you want

#282 to #271 - vivial
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
do share, please
#276 to #271 - doctorfailkins
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
moaaaaaaaaaaar pl0x
#280 to #276 - herebedragons
Reply +22
(01/06/2012) [-]
(before above incedent)

-Tard named dhairya
-We call him diarrhea
-gym class, 8th grade
-doing warm ups (stretching, pushups etc.)
-super cool gym teacher, never yells, but gets in **** with principal sometimes
-decides to let tard lead the pushups
-he begins, but instead of dropping shoulders, we moves his hips, so he basically is humping the ground
-making loud noises, grunts, shrieks, crazy ****
-entire class trying to contain laughter, cool teacher turns around and notices this tard frantically humping the ground making ******* tard noises
-teacher totally looses his ****, laughing his ass off, rolling around on the ground, tard still hasnt noticed
-we start laughing; tard gets up runs straight into a wall
-******* goes *******, hitting himself, running around, never seen anyone look so confuser as this tard with a dent in his head;
- teacher still ******** himself with laughter
-******* tard runs off
-MFW we never got caught
-still my fav teacher
#391 to #280 - herebedragons
Reply +1
(01/07/2012) [-]
(Someone archive this ****)    
   
-grade 9, like a boss    
- tard named chris    
-I was lonely kid, literally know friends, before above incident so no fame.    
-sitting eating lunch by myself    
-notice chris has lined up to buy some **** from the lunch lady    
-tard wrangler is trying to teach tard about money    
-chris completely baffled about the concept    
-5 minutes go by with little progress, but then he starts to get it.    
-notices cash register full of money    
-grabs it and tries to lift it shouting MOONNNNNNIIIIEIIEIEIEIEIGGGLAARAGBBALLB????    
-bolted to table, which is part of floor, so even this mighty tard-ercules cant move it    
-keeps trying straining from the effort    
-so much strain he throws up    
-******* all over the register, in the register    
-shouts OOHH!    
-slams the thing shut, puke dripping from it    
-shoves pizza down pants and tries to run out    
-doesnt get half way across cafeteria till he pukes again, slips in it and knocks him self out on a bench    
-puke and **** everywhere    
-MFW janitor has to clean up ****, puke and mushy pizza
(Someone archive this ****)

-grade 9, like a boss
- tard named chris
-I was lonely kid, literally know friends, before above incident so no fame.
-sitting eating lunch by myself
-notice chris has lined up to buy some **** from the lunch lady
-tard wrangler is trying to teach tard about money
-chris completely baffled about the concept
-5 minutes go by with little progress, but then he starts to get it.
-notices cash register full of money
-grabs it and tries to lift it shouting MOONNNNNNIIIIEIIEIEIEIEIGGGLAARAGBBALLB????
-bolted to table, which is part of floor, so even this mighty tard-ercules cant move it
-keeps trying straining from the effort
-so much strain he throws up
-******* all over the register, in the register
-shouts OOHH!
-slams the thing shut, puke dripping from it
-shoves pizza down pants and tries to run out
-doesnt get half way across cafeteria till he pukes again, slips in it and knocks him self out on a bench
-puke and **** everywhere
-MFW janitor has to clean up ****, puke and mushy pizza
#123 - Rome **User deleted account**
+48
has deleted their comment [-]
#131 to #123 - anon
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
This one deserves the next comp.
#277 to #123 - Pedobearchaser
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#360 to #123 - PhoenixD
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
Completely LOST IT at "IT'S GOODNIGHT IRENE"
#172 to #123 - fuckyeaface
Reply +3
(01/06/2012) [-]
Comment Picture

#153 to #123 - liquidassassin
Reply +7
(01/06/2012) [-]
HOLY **** MY IMAGINATION TOOK OVER THIS EPIC SCENE
HOLY **** MY IMAGINATION TOOK OVER THIS EPIC SCENE
#133 - LTB
Reply +34
(01/06/2012) [-]
My favorite part about this story posts is that even after I've finished reading the content theres always some more stories in the comments.
My favorite part about this story posts is that even after I've finished reading the content theres always some more stories in the comments.
#3 - greatguygabe
Reply +34
(01/05/2012) [-]
>Be in 5th grade
>In hallway
>2 tards getting ready for gym
>All of the sudden, 1 tard climbs on top of other
>Starts humping other tard
>Half the class watching now
>Tard 2 likes it, full on dry hump
>Whole class is watching now
>Tard 1 screams out some sort of tard orgasm
>Teacher comes in and pulls them into room
>More moaning
>Screaming
>Tards come out into the hall again
>Full on ************
>*****************************.jpg
>Gym starts.
#95 - lemurdecatta
Reply +32
(01/06/2012) [-]
>be on funnyjunk
>see a tard post
>hey that's pretty funny
>make up own tard post
>has never met a tard
#74 - foelkera
Reply +30
(01/06/2012) [-]
>7th grade
>Going to math class, see tard and tard wrangler walking down the hall
>Tard has a bit of a history
>Always getting in trouble because of his tardy antics
>Tard sees new fire extinguisher
>It's a very glossy red color
>Tard screams "SHINY!"
>Grabs extinguisher
>Wrangler attempts to restrain him
>Tard strength activated
>He grabs her arm in a vicelike grip
>Beating wrangler with extinguisher
>Backup arrives
>Several wranglers surround him
>He sets off fire alarm nearby, sprays all the wranglers with a cloud of extinguisher foam
>Wranglers knocked back from blast
>Tard runs down the hall, beating back wranglers with extinguisher
>Other tards break free from their wranglers, join forces with extinguisher tard
>Start screaming war cries in tardese
>School evacuated, police called
>MFW Tard revolt
#361 to #74 - shitshitshit
Reply +1
(01/06/2012) [-]
i love you and i love this story
#83 to #74 - gfourtolip
Reply +4
(01/06/2012) [-]
a little too unbelievable
#137 to #83 - eskemo
Reply 0
(01/06/2012) [-]
agreed, but still funny as hell

#81 to #74 - graywulf **User deleted account**
+20
has deleted their comment [-]
#90 to #81 - foelkera
Reply +11
(01/06/2012) [-]
VURVA THER ROVELUSHIN