Tard Stories 10 (by FJ). Thought i'd make a comp out of some of my favorites. If yours didn't get posted don't feel bad if people like ill include more. Thanks
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Tard Stories 10 (by FJ)

Thought i'd make a comp out of some of my favorites. If yours didn't get posted don't feel bad if people like ill include more. Thanks again for all the support on these. Thanks to PigeonOnKrak for giving me some comp making tips.
9: funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3117082/Tard+Stories+9/
11: ...more »

Thought i'd make a comp out of some of my favorites. If yours didn't get posted don't feel bad if people like ill include more. Thanks again for all the support on these. Thanks to PigeonOnKrak for giving me some comp making tips.
9: funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3117082/Tard+Stories+9/
11: www.funnyjunk.com/channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+11/fmuuDsz

Views: 101836
Favorited: 447
Submitted: 01/03/2012
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#1013 - iphony (08/02/2013) [-]
I got a good one that you all may love ( I have more if you want to hear another just ask C
Be freshman in highschool
>Walking up main stairway after lunch
>Group of friends went to their classes
>See tard 1 trying to use water fountian with fat tard
>Tard 1 is splashing water all over his face
>I hear a voice in my head say miss miss miss miss miss miss miss miss
>I snicker at the voice
>Fat tard notices me
>Thinks im laughing at them
>Goes tard rage mode
>I hurry down hall way
>I hear a HHHHHHHRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW (like a retarted L4D2 charger
>Turn around
>See tard charging
>He misses and hits lockers
> ***** pants and has a spaz attack
>I get the hell out of there
>Group of teachers show up
> MFW no one but me and my 3 friends know why he did that
#1011 - anonymous (01/18/2013) [-]
>Went to WalMart
>tardfriend (13) in games isle playing Skyrim
>he starts going ******* rampant after his character dies
>tackles a walmart employee
> ***** all over him
>The ancient tards.. they knew him as.. tardakiin, TARDBORN!
>"OISGJHIFDSJH DIHAIUDSHG UHAU!" tard just ******* wails on him
>tard's 3'9" and 79 pounds and still winning the fight
#1010 - anonymous (09/17/2012) [-]
#1009 - neonspray (09/16/2012) [-]
#1008 - anonymous (09/16/2012) [-]
#1007 - anonymous (09/15/2012) [-]
User avatar #1042 - mrshs (05/23/2012) [-]
Is there a Tard Stories Channel? O___o
#1039 - kidinfinitebillion (02/12/2012) [-]
>8th grade
>sitting next to 3 tards (not really tards just incredibly stupid)
>they start talking about smoking weed and ****
>one tard says "it's not like smoking cigarettes gives you cancer or anything"
>others agree with him
User avatar #1037 - DroyLinker (01/07/2012) [-]
>late november, it's after the finals for our marching band
>boys turn to change into regular clothing out of marching uniform on the bus
>dark as **** , people stumbling to get onto bus
>tard is behind bus masturbating
>crowd of people start forming, two RA's come and stop him

>Honors sophmore english
>Same tard is in the back/left side of the classroom
>White stuff caked on his desk
>He covers his mouth and starts whispering to himself
>Tard wipes his cum on the desk, smears it around

>people ask tard what the white stuff is, he says glue from the text book.
#1030 - anonymous (01/05/2012) [-]
>Sitting in Social Studies >Tard walks in, starts picking his belly button >Teacher politely asks him if he needs anything >Tard starts making a sound like a crazed walrus >It's like a Tard Siren, going EEEEEeEEEEUWHAFHUGA!! >I'm thinking "Good God, he's contacting the Tard Hivemind"
>Pulls down his pants, sits on my desk, and starts ********
>Teacher screams "NOBODY MOVE"
>WHAT THE ****
>Just my luck, Diarrhea
>Oh my God liquid ****
>Special Ed teacher enters
>Immediately leaves without doing anything
>A few minutes later, Tard is still sitting on my desk, squishing his buttcheeks in his **** having a hell of a time
>Now, three teachers enter along with a police officer
>Thank God, help!
>Tard starts his Tard Siren again
>It's louder than ever, he's just completely screaming
>Good God, the Jedis are going to feel this one
>Tard pisses on police officer
>Police officer tries to take out taser, probably an unprofessional move, but I mean, she's just been covered in piss >Fires taser
>Salty piss conducts electricity and she collapses onto the ground convulsing
>The three teachers rush to the policeman's aid
>Come on! HELP ME! I'M COVERED IN **** !
>Tard pushes his fat ass through the three teachers, knocking them out of the way and slapping his hands against his ass, getting tons of **** all over them >Rubs policewoman's face >He starts convulsing as well >In summary, **** all over my face, my desk, and the floor around it. Policeman and tard, Tard's ass covered in **** , are convulsing on the floor
User avatar #1012 to #1030 - vissova (03/27/2013) [-]
This has to be fake, but if I was the one being shat on I would tear the ******** legs off and ram them down his own throat.
User avatar #1031 to #1030 - imaginer (01/05/2012) [-]
I have my doubts that that's a true story
User avatar #1035 to #1031 - wanicochil (01/06/2012) [-]
yea i agree, why would you just sit there letting him **** on you... atleast move to otherside of the room
User avatar #1029 - dunkleosteus (01/05/2012) [-]
>tard runs out of the washroom with his dick out
>hes like 3, same as me
>runs up to the supervisor, 20 something girl, idk
>rubs his dick on her leg
>has what I know assume was an ******
>did it everyday for a week
>supervisor doesn't know what to do

true story
User avatar #1017 - yesimagirlgamer (01/04/2012) [-]
>Sitting in science today
>Tard in my class keeps staring at me with his creepy lazy eye while we're watching a documentary
> When it ends, we move to the PCs
> He comes up behind me
> Whispers "Tonight you'll be raped"
> Scares the **** out of me
> Spend the rest of science just sitting at the computer, transfixed to the screen
> Walking home, and every other second I turn around to check if someone's behind me
> See tard in the distance
> Start running in fear
> Finally get home, slam the door behind me
> Look out of the window, he's on the other side of the road, staring at me

...I'm not sleeping tonight...
User avatar #1013 - Itsgoodenough (01/04/2012) [-]
>Tard, liked to walk looking up at the sky.
> see staircase approaching.
>I dunno, guess she saw a bird or something, she starts running.
>Heading towards the stairs like its a death wish!
>I watch in pure disbelief as this tard reaches the stairs.
>Not only did she fall down all 24 stairs, she ******* 'supermaned' of the first 12.
>Its ohkay though, she breaks her fall with her teeth.
> whole 1st grade is watching.
#1008 - iliketolike (01/04/2012) [-]
>age 8 bell rings to get back to class
>tard comes towards me shouting my name
>i blend in the crowds and get the **** outa there
>tard screams my name almost crying
>i make it into class feeling awesome
>tard appears at my class door asking for me, i casually face palm
>because of this teacher doesn't recognise me and says im not in
#1004 - tooanontoquit has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #997 - Snailrunner (01/04/2012) [-]
how come all tard stories end in either them ******** themselves or masturbating?
#1010 to #997 - anonymous (01/04/2012) [-]
Because they're made up and most kids have no imagination/are retarded themselves "huhu poopies!!!1".
#1015 to #1010 - anonymous (01/04/2012) [-]
lol silly anon, like you know for sure that it is.
#996 - anonymous (01/04/2012) [-]
>Riding the bus.
>I always sit by my bestfriend (I'm a girl and he's a guy)
>Tard thinks we are going out.
>One day my bestfriend is sick so i'm riding by myself.
>Tard sits next to me, I'm nice and let's him sit there.
>About 10 minutes in, He starts going ape **** like a melonmuncher
>I'm ******** my pants at this point.
>He finally clams down.
>Next thing I know he whispers in my ear, "Do you want me to kill your boyfriend?"
>I'm ******** and ******* my pants now.
>He get off the bus, and i'm sitting there alone.
>After that I'm terrifed to be on the bus with him..
#986 - budbrown Comment deleted by Peterw [-]
#988 to #986 - Peterw Comment deleted by Peterw [-]
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#984 - drhoffable (01/04/2012) [-]
- walking into bathroom - get stopped by tard wearing a suit - tard asks me for password
- i awkwardly stare at him, then attempt to pass him
- tard grabs my arm and throws me back into the hallway
- tard crouches in ninja position and points at me like the monkey in chris's closet from family guy
>i stand up (shocked) > i slowly back away >tard continues to awkwardly point at me
- right as im about to turn around to ask teacher to move him
- tard rips off shirt and pants and is wearing a speedo - tard then reaches into backpack, grabs a jar of honey and looks at me - tard opens jar, and says "ive been waiting my whoel life for this"
- at this point im starting to walk faster into a jog down the hallway, hoping to just use another bathroom
- i turn the corner and i see another tard standing there - i stop and start running back the other way towards the honey jar tard
- when i reach the spot wear the first honey jar tard was
- i see the tard in the bathroom with 14 other tards yelling some special kid chant.
- they didnt notice me peaking in, so i continue to watch.
- the honey jar tard reaches into backback once more and pulls out a grape fruit.
- while the other tards are chanting WALABAH over and over and over again
- the tard then takes the grape fruit, grabs a pen, stabs a hole in the fruit...
- then he decides to pour the honey on his chest and speedo.
-from here he takes off his speedo (and is now ASS ***** .) - he starts ******* the grapefruit
- all the other tards start taking off there clothes and begin to dance around the honey covered tard.
- i then throw up in the hallway... - the tard ritual comes to abrupt stop and all the tards stare at me.
- they then start charging at me
- im at full sprint down the hallway - and right before the tards catch me - the bell rings, and all the tards jump into the garbage can in the hallway one at a time.
.. i never saw the tards again.
#982 - xtremeposting **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
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