Tard Stories 10 (by FJ). Thought i'd make a comp out of some of my favorites. If yours didn't get posted don't feel bad if people like ill include more. Thanks  does this belong
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Tard Stories 10 (by FJ)

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Tard Stories 10 (by FJ). Thought i'd make a comp out of some of my favorites. If yours didn't get posted don't feel bad if people like ill include more. Thanks

Thought i'd make a comp out of some of my favorites. If yours didn't get posted don't feel bad if people like ill include more. Thanks again for all the support on these. Thanks to PigeonOnKrak for giving me some comp making tips.
9: /funny_pictures/3117082/Tard+Stories+9/
11: /channel/4chan/Tard+Stories+11/fmuuDsz

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Views: 103235
Favorited: 447
Submitted: 01/03/2012
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[ 933 comments ]
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#176 - nunchuck (01/03/2012) [-]
>at a tard camp earning service hours as a buddy
>I get some weird autistic kid
>thinks he's troy from high school musical
>jumps around the camp constantly screaming, "I'm troy! I'm a guy!"
>some non-tard girl gets fed up and tells him to stop saying that
>a fire is lit in his eyes as he prepares to rip the girls ****
>he grabs her arm and presses his foot against her boob
>he pulls with all of his tard strength
>I am frozen as I watch
>just as he's about to rip the poor girl's arm off 3 other buddies grab him
>they start to drag him away but he breaks free and runs away
>he takes of his pants as he flees
>I try not to look at his bouncy tard cock, but I can't resist watching what he'll do next
>he starts vigorously beating off
>the 3 buddies eventually catch up to him after he climaxes and hold him down
>they tie his hands behind his back and drag away on his ass
>he's still not wearing pants
>while being dragged away half naked he looks into my eyes
>as he stares into my very soul he sprouts an evil grin and utters something I will never forget
>"The boys are back."
>mfw

-10
#354 to #176 - cpawsome has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #525 to #354 - jrdnlws (01/03/2012) [-]
Tard story failure
0
#542 to #525 - cpawsome has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #594 to #542 - jrdnlws (01/03/2012) [-]
Can you not read? Are you a tard disguised as a FunnyJunker?
#774 to #176 - puggles (01/03/2012) [-]
tard strongth!
User avatar #987 to #774 - Edrosty (01/04/2012) [-]
strength*
#991 to #987 - puggles (01/04/2012) [-]
yep, kinda the point, the whole 'tard thing and all.
#458 to #176 - molotowone (01/03/2012) [-]
funniest one i've seen so far!
funniest one i've seen so far!
User avatar #213 to #176 - tireyhawnuyu (01/03/2012) [-]
I'd just go get my gun...
User avatar #342 to #213 - SonicTeam (01/03/2012) [-]
exactly what I was thinking.
#864 to #342 - John Cena (01/04/2012) [-]
Go **** yourself.
User avatar #179 to #176 - bandhagen (01/03/2012) [-]
pinkie for "The boys are back." :D

#304 - ICEDgrunge (01/03/2012) [-]
retoasting my own, most glorious retard story :D

>In 8th grade
>English class, 2nd period
>Teacher thinks it's good idea to bring in tards to do a song in our class relating to the book we're reading (can't remember which one)
>surprised at first to discover tards' capacity for knowing lyrics
>tards enter class
>one of which being a mildly aggressive gorilla-tard hybrid
>On an off note, our class is divided very awkwardly in desks arranged in 4 rows on each side of the class, facing eachother, leaving a divide in the middle
>Gorilla-tard hears a girl's cellphone go off in class right in front row, opposite of my row, in which I sit in the front
>He goes total *******
>screams, starts charging at the girl
>I see what the **** is going down quickly
>react by flipping desk into middle of the divide
>Gorilla tard trips over desk and faceplants
>Bloody nose'd gorilla-tard starts crying
>Gorilla-tard handler's drag him out of class.
>We never hear the ******* song.
User avatar #995 to #304 - tallestmidget (01/04/2012) [-]
i lost it at gorilla-tard hybrid
User avatar #591 to #304 - bannon ONLINE (01/03/2012) [-]
lost it at gorilla tard hahaha
+14
#389 to #304 - darthcurtain **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#287 - jakekel (01/03/2012) [-]
-Be 10
-In class with tard named "Jared"
-He hates this certain kids show
-If you say it to him he goes ape ****
-New kid is informed not to say it
-Sits next to him in geography
-Me not to far away
-He leans real close to the tard and whispers
-"TWEENIES"
-Whole ******* class turns around
-Silence
-Flips the ******* table
-Punches new kid in shoulder (knocking him off chair)
-Retard squeal as he runs around the classroom flailing his arms
-His tard wrangler (his mom) who works at the school bursts in
-He punches her right in the pussy
-She falls to floor
-Other teachers flee room to stop him
-Whole class just sitting there with a crying woman on the floor
-Awkward as ****
-MFW
#177 - braviary (01/03/2012) [-]
> Be in maths
> Shetard in our class
> Nothing ******* outlandish or interesting happens

#150 - DmOnZ (01/03/2012) [-]
>Be 13 years old at a public school
>Walking down hall after going to the washroom
>See a tard in a tard cart (wheel chair)
>Wearing oven mits and staring off into space
>I walk by and I **** you not she does the exorcist neck turn
>Turns her wheel chair around
>Lets out her tard battle cry
>She has summoned her kin
>I bolt it down the hall
>I swear to god she has re wired the chair to go faster than a car
>The rest of tard army crashes through doors and pursues me
>All the time this tardete is riding at the front of the pack like tardpoleon on her tard cart
>Run into washroom and lock the doors
>School had to call police to get them to get me out of the washroom stall
>Find out she attacked me because she doesn't like red shirts
User avatar #514 to #150 - jrdnlws (01/03/2012) [-]
Tard cart- MFW
User avatar #711 to #150 - xXthabeastXx (01/03/2012) [-]
I don't think I have EVER actually laughed out loud because of something on this site... Good job sir!
#899 to #150 - thisitesux (01/04/2012) [-]
probably the funniest thing i have ever seen on fj pinkie for you!
probably the funniest thing i have ever seen on fj pinkie for you!
+4
#747 to #150 - JohnMarston **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#737 to #150 - xxTheJesterxx (01/03/2012) [-]
**** I can't stop laughing oh my god... tardpoleon
#449 to #150 - captainamazingjack (01/03/2012) [-]
" tardpoleon"
#845 to #150 - capslockftw (01/03/2012) [-]
i couldnt help it :P
#852 to #845 - John Cena (01/03/2012) [-]
Now it just needs a tardpoleon ;P.
-3
#869 to #852 - capslockftw has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1038 to #869 - DmOnZ (02/03/2012) [-]
Napoleon, except I replaced the Na with tard... tradpoleon, hence the picture of napoleon on the motorcycle.
#257 to #150 - starchild (01/03/2012) [-]
tardcart - lol
#325 to #150 - demenik (01/03/2012) [-]
Lost it at "She has summoned her kin "
#122 - kptkegger (01/03/2012) [-]
-be senior year   
-be at lunch   
-slow kid ryan sits with us sometimes   
-funny 			****		   
-laugh at his joke   
-Ryan slaps me   
-i slap ryan   
-Ryan yells " OOOOHHHOHHHH HE HIT A WEETARD!"   
-principal comes over   
-"Did you hit ryan?   
-Ryan hit me first... everyone saw   
-Principal to Ryan... Go back to ed class ryan youre in big trouble   
-exit ryan   
-principle to me " Thats funny... i wanted to hit that kid since he waved his dick at the superintendent. 			*******		 tard lol   
- mfw
-be senior year
-be at lunch
-slow kid ryan sits with us sometimes
-funny ****
-laugh at his joke
-Ryan slaps me
-i slap ryan
-Ryan yells " OOOOHHHOHHHH HE HIT A WEETARD!"
-principal comes over
-"Did you hit ryan?
-Ryan hit me first... everyone saw
-Principal to Ryan... Go back to ed class ryan youre in big trouble
-exit ryan
-principle to me " Thats funny... i wanted to hit that kid since he waved his dick at the superintendent. ******* tard lol
- mfw
#121 - stalk (01/03/2012) [-]
>be 16
>in german class
>sitting in class next to tard
>teacher asks question to class
>everyone keeps their hands down cause they know tard will say someting stupid
>tard raises hand
>teacher picks tard
>tard stands up and starts farting
>tard **** his pants while farting
> **** starts to pour out of his boxers
>tard starts screaming like someone is trying to kill him
>runs out of class, still screaming and with **** falling down his shorts
>teacher and class is like wtf
>i almost **** myself cause i never have laughed so hard
>class and teacher are looking at me
>mfw i cant stop laughing and the tard is still outside of class screaming and ******* himself
#537 to #121 - nimberoxfeii (01/03/2012) [-]
I would have **** myself laughing.
#326 - meinfuhertroll (01/03/2012) [-]
>Be 11
>tard in my class named jay
>goes all ape **** if you say the word "pillow-pet" to him
>I end up sitting next to him in class
>While taking a test, I lean over and whisper "pillow-pet" every ten minutes
>3rd time, goes ******* crazy, yells out in his tard roar" **** PILLOW-PETS!"
>slams kid's face in on the left of him, blood's everywhere
>3 teachers and six tard gaurds dragged him a way
>went to tard camp
>mfw the whole time
+1
#533 to #326 - dodihamad **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#638 to #326 - John Cena (01/03/2012) [-]
There's a tard at my school who goes ape **** if you say the word Cat Dog. I think they all have their own individual trigger words.
User avatar #359 to #326 - genmuzero (01/03/2012) [-]
******* lost it at tard guards.
User avatar #330 to #326 - tokawase (01/03/2012) [-]
"tard camp" lolololololol
#205 - Schultan (01/03/2012) [-]
>5th grade gym   
>finish class every ones changing   
>tard butt ass naked   
>another kid tying his shoe   
>tard mushroom stamps him   
>tard starts running around chasing everyone   
>still naked   
>managed to make it into the hallway   
>tard runs into girls room   
>sounds from locker room sound as if 1000s of pigs being slaughtered
>5th grade gym
>finish class every ones changing
>tard butt ass naked
>another kid tying his shoe
>tard mushroom stamps him
>tard starts running around chasing everyone
>still naked
>managed to make it into the hallway
>tard runs into girls room
>sounds from locker room sound as if 1000s of pigs being slaughtered
#937 to #205 - joyces (01/04/2012) [-]
mfw i read the last line
User avatar #21 - ChuckNorrisTheJew (01/03/2012) [-]
>5th grade
>autistic tard in my class
>we had like this closet thing that we put our backpacks and books in
>one day tard goes into closet randomly during lesson
> ****************** fart
>teacher goes in
>scream
>teacher runs out **** all over her
>tard comes out with handfulls of **** and MY ******* BACKPACK FILLED WITH ****
>starts throwing it at people
>me and friend run from class
>tard chasing us
>being a tard he falls down and spills **** all over self
>starts crying
> **** everywhere
>tard starts ********
> ***************************** .jpg
User avatar #60 to #21 - nuggubler (01/03/2012) [-]
these always get so funnier when **** is involved
User avatar #795 - trolljunkusa (01/03/2012) [-]
>Airsoft war at friends house
>About to leave
>Tards mom drives up and drops off tard
>Tard has extremely expensive gun
>Tards mom found out about the party, even though he wasnt invited the tard mom bought the most expensive airsoft gun she could find
>The ******* tard has a gun
>He acts normal for a while
>We start the war, he's on blue team
>I'm on red (Oh god why)
>Tard goes into mercenary mode
>Tard found face paint
>He looks like rambo
>Is going around breathing heavily
>Starts spraying everyone
>Comes up behind without me knowing
>Beats me down with the butt of his gun
> ******* hell
>Brought a rubber knife
>Starts throwing it at people
>I finally get up
>Shoot him
>Tard mom reported me to the principle for shooting the tard
>I wasn't even on school property..... continued in next comment

User avatar #797 to #795 - trolljunkusa (01/03/2012) [-]
>I get a lecture and suspended
>I have to write an apology
>Give the apology to him
>As I'm leaving he says "I'm proud of you soldier"
>I cry
>He screams at his tard gaurd beats down his tard gaurd
>Rambo mode again
>Hides in the bathroom
>He walks out
>I walk in
> **** everywhere
>Come outside
>He facepainted himself with ****
>Rambo mode again
>He brought his airsoft pistol
>Shoots everyone
>He's never allowed back
#706 - paradenoire (01/03/2012) [-]
>me in grade 8
> tard kid sits next to me everyday
> we are learning about Japan
> he keeps asking me if we live in Japan..well more of a *looks at me and says* this is japan?
> starts pissing me off after the 30th time
> i look at him and grit my teeth
> say, this. is. ******* America. and then glare at him.
> he glared at me, then down at his desk.
>calmly stood up.
>let out a GUURGHHHGH
> flips desk
> runs out of class yelling THIS IS AMERICAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
>mfw.
User avatar #714 to #706 - dessydegreemurder (01/03/2012) [-]
if only you had told him it was sparta.
User avatar #721 to #714 - paradenoire (01/03/2012) [-]
in grade 8 300 wasnt out yet =P
User avatar #217 - xshadeeisafag (01/03/2012) [-]
>4th Week of college
>Be in bathroom having a piss (I genuinely can't piss in urinals if other people are around)
>Only 2 cubicles
>Cubicle next to mine is occupied
>Hear massive slam, tard walks in stomping loudly and unleashed a tard roar all in about 3 seconds
>can't piss, too scared
>Tard Screams "COUGHING BATHROOM" multipled times, with controlled burping occasionally "URINAL SLAM" comes next
>Keeps repeating over and over
>Starts banging on the side of the cubicle next to mine, not the door, the side
>Tard roar
>He leaves
>Calm for 5 seconds
>Door slams again
>Nother tard roar, voice of one thousand tards
>Starts slamming violently into next cubicle again
>Still roaring
>Stops
>Leaves
>Silence for 10 seconds, then rustling noises from other cubicle
>Guy sounding terrified "What the **** "
-2
#462 to #217 - pedobearseviltwin has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #658 to #217 - gitrdunn (01/03/2012) [-]
jesus christ. i love you. this may have made my day. i am still laughing, and it has been a good 30 seconds
User avatar #754 to #217 - Siphus (01/03/2012) [-]
Too bad this is copypasta from the beginning of time.... Way to try and pass it off as your own, doucher.
User avatar #221 to #217 - wagsnej (01/03/2012) [-]
quite possibly funniest thing ive ever seen.
User avatar #447 to #217 - wolfsweater (01/03/2012) [-]
you have tards at your college?? isnt college supposed to separate us from them?
0
#455 to #447 - xshadeeisafag has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #236 to #217 - thatdrummerguy (01/03/2012) [-]
I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at something. Solid ******* gold.
User avatar #63 - callmegtotnameisgt (01/03/2012) [-]
>11th grade
>Same gym period with tards
>I'm in walking because **** sports
>Me and hot chick walking
>One of the tards trips on a rock
>Tard is furious, looks around nobody cares
>Yells, "THEY VOICES KEEP NO STUPID" Grammar and meaning are out the window
>Tard punches tard aid in face
>Tard yells at rest of tards, "WE GOOOO"
>Tards all yell "EIGHNGEONEENEGGGEEEEEEE"
>Me and chick are laughing our asses off
>Tard army jumps the fence and starts running into the woods
>Tard aids chase after them
>Chick and I can't stop laughing for rest of the day
>I'm going to hell
#80 to #63 - goatsforlyfe (01/03/2012) [-]
That is some badass ************* !
User avatar #70 to #63 - jacencaedus (01/03/2012) [-]
don't worry, most of us are right there with ya
User avatar #51 - jellybanana (01/03/2012) [-]
>At summer camp age 12
>Have to share bunk bed with a tard
>She takes top bunk
>Middle of the night, she climbs halfway down step ladder
> Kicks me in the face repeatedly for no reason making odd growling noises
> Instinctively grab foot because she scared the **** out of me
>She falls of bed
>Prepare for her to go freak the **** out
>She climbs quietly back into bed
>What the **** just happened.
User avatar #27 - redneckasian (01/03/2012) [-]
>Go to tutor's to help with bad math skills.
>Disabled kid a year older than me goes there too.
>After we're done with our work we have free time on computer's with unrestricted internet use.
>Notice kid goes to bathroom every day immediately after arriving.
>Go down hall one day to get a soda.
>Hear animalistic grunting followed by a sqeal and maniacal giggle.
>Kid comes out smirking at me.
>Feel raped.
>Sit at computer next to him one day.
>For three straight hours nothing but hardcore gay furry porn.
>OHGODWHY.jpg
>Downloads it to his iPod.
>Next day after he comes out of the bathroom offers me money to get a soda with obviously poorly washed hands.
>HELL NO
>Brings in a book on how to draw furries a day later.
> ******* amazing artist.
>Just kinda sits there drawing porn the whole time.
>Occurs for the next three years.
>Gradually grow to accept it.
>Still see him now and then in school hallway.
>Shudder everytime.
User avatar #457 to #27 - captainamazingjack (01/03/2012) [-]
what the **** .
User avatar #697 to #457 - redneckasian (01/03/2012) [-]
It was...strange to say the least.
#523 to #27 - cptfox (01/03/2012) [-]
mfw when you said hard core gay furry porn
mfw when you said hard core gay furry porn
User avatar #700 to #523 - redneckasian (01/03/2012) [-]
It was some strange **** he was lookin' at to. Well, as strange as it can get considering what it was.
#24 - roxasbaby (01/03/2012) [-]
>Freshman year of High School.
>Anti bullying assembly.
>Bring tard onto stage.
>Ask him to discuss getting bullied.
>Starts to tell a story.
>Immediately stops talking.
>Room is dead silent.
>Tard freaks out, yelling unintelligible tard language.
>pulls down pants, starts crapping on stage.
>Flings crap about.
>Runs out of auditorium screaming.
> MFW
User avatar #26 to #24 - allcontent (01/03/2012) [-]
you have no idea how hard im laughing now
User avatar #35 to #26 - roxasbaby (01/03/2012) [-]
Now you know the story of how i got detention the following week.
User avatar #38 to #35 - allcontent (01/03/2012) [-]
I have laughed at some retarded kids before. I ******* hate when teachers get mad because your laughing.

4th.. maybe 3rd grade
-teacher goes over to help tardo
-cant figure out how to use pencil/pen
-gets pissed, starts screaming and throwing school supplies
-starts throwing a complete *******
-storms out of the room
-teacher following
-entire class sitting wide eyed bushy tailed amazed and laughing
#33 to #24 - roxasbaby (01/03/2012) [-]
One more story for fun.
>Advanced math class.
>Tard kid who is only smart in math.
>Yelling "School is fun in class."
>Teacher asks kid to be quiet.
>Tard yells at teacher running around room,knocking **** over
>Teacher calls security guard.
>Security guard tackles tard.
>Police arrive.
>Police take kid away.
>Continue on with class
>Tard never heard from again.
#964 - John Cena (01/04/2012) [-]
>I was 14
>I'm at girl scout camp as an aide
>Making sure all the girls are in bed
>see tard crying
>ask tard if she's okay
>she wants to know if I'm coming to beat her
>I, confused, say no I'm here to tuck you in
>She stops crying
>asks what a 'tuck-in' is
>I show her, tucking the blankets around her
>she confesses in a tardish way that her parents beat her because she is a tard
>I report to a counselor what she said
>tard is with good parents now
>she can potato all she wants to now
>what her face looked like when she was crying
User avatar #622 - makmeasammich (01/03/2012) [-]
>7th grade
>Tard named Jean
>Playing basketball in gym class
> Tard starts screaming HIII RYAN to me
>Act like GGG and say "whats up jean!"
>He runs over to me
>Hugs me
pic unrelated
>I can feel his tard boner sticking out, poking me in the gut
>what the ****
>I get up and play in the next round of ball
>gym is over and everyone takes the balls back to the rack
>I go to pick one up
>Tard slaps me on the ass
>WTF
>I casually get the ball and take it to the rack
>I feel him hug me from behind and yet again his dick pierces my back
>he says I LOVE YOU BUDDY RYAN
>I just got raped....
#422 - missingsin (01/03/2012) [-]
>at lunch in school
>tard decides to say Hi to hot girl
>girl says get away retard
>tard walks away
> runs back and clothesline the **** out of the girl
>continues to run in circles yelling can you smell what the rock is cooking!
>mfw
#452 to #422 - someponyspechul (01/03/2012) [-]
I laughed my 			*******		 ass off at the end XDDDDDDDD
I laughed my ******* ass off at the end XDDDDDDDD
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