Duke Nukem. I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. TEXT HER "HEY THERE BEAUTIFUL" POST RESULTS I Anonymous (( Sun) 13: & 56 65 KB, 352x300, Duke Nukem, jp im all out of bubblegum
x
Click to expand

Duke Nukem

(Enlarge)
Duke Nukem. I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. TEXT HER "HEY THERE BEAUTIFUL" POST RESULTS I Anonymous (( Sun) 13: & 56 65 KB, 352x300, Duke Nukem, jp

I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum

TEXT HER "HEY
THERE BEAUTIFUL"
POST RESULTS
I Anonymous (( Sun) 13: & 56
65 KB, 352x300, Duke Nukem, jpg)
Me: Hey beautiful
Her: Wow, thanks. That was unexpected
Me: I' m not saying it because it' s nice, I' m saying it because it' s true.
Her: My my, whats gotten into you? Youre in a really sweet mood rite now it
Me: I realized It' s time to talk to beautiful girls and chew bubble gum, and I' m all outta gum.
Her: You know I have a boyfriend right? Why are you saying this to me anyway?
Me: We got balls M steel!
Her: lei you probably do cause he' d be pissed if he saw this.
Me: I' m an equal opportunity ass kicker!
Her: HAHA em, yeu' re so weird taday_ You tell me I' m beautiful and now yeu' re acting all alpha
Me: Balls of steel!
Her: Right right. Look, honestly I think youre kind of cute so if youre net doing anything right now, why dent you come over? Just dent tell anyone okay it
Me: Hail tithe king, baby
Her: lei, just get the hell over here
Me: Damn I' m good
Did I really just get a booty call hem a girl with a boyfriend using Duke Nukem lines?
I ******* LOVE YOU
...
  • Recommend tagsx
+4430
Views: 93735
Favorited: 1196
Submitted: 12/27/2011
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to xXxCoolBeansxXx Subscribe to 4chan submit to reddit

Comments(772):

[ 772 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #391 - wacht (12/28/2011) [-]
My attempt:

>Hey beautiful
>Dude wtf. Are you gay or something?
>Im not saying it because its nice im saying it because its true.
>Wtf dude
>I've got balls of steel
>(no reply)
>Damn I'm good


#287 - JustForTheLulz (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: Hey there, beautiful
Her: Aww thanks, what brought this on?
Me: I'm not saying it because it's nice, I'm saying it because it's true.
Her: You're so sweet! <3
Me: It's time for me to talk to beautiful girls and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum.
Her: Lol, wanna hang out after class tomorrow?
Me: Eat **** and die.
Her: Wtf asshole
Me: Damn I'm smooth.


User avatar #902 to #287 - roflstorm ONLINE (12/29/2011) [-]
you will never know how much trouble i am in because i am laughing so hard
User avatar #295 to #287 - hydraetis (12/28/2011) [-]
OMFG ROFLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

SO MUCH WIN!!!!!!!
#903 to #287 - auesis (12/29/2011) [-]
My chest hurts, oh my god
My chest hurts, oh my god
#843 to #287 - robsterthelobster (12/28/2011) [-]
**** I killed myself with laughter
#306 to #287 - shrike (12/28/2011) [-]
I laughed so hard.
I laughed so hard.
#307 to #306 - shrike (12/28/2011) [-]
so hard that i'm posting 2 gifs.
so hard that i'm posting 2 gifs.
#303 to #287 - thatguybythetree (12/28/2011) [-]
How i imagine you
How i imagine you
#45 - gumdropking (12/28/2011) [-]
me: hey beautiful
her: excuse me?
me: ive got balls of steel
her: please stop texting me i am shopping
me: blow it out your ass
her: i am going to have to talk to you when i get home
me: sorry mom
-1
#897 to #45 - mrkek has deleted their comment [-]
-48
#174 to #45 - sammae has deleted their comment [-]
#159 to #45 - Sebright (12/28/2011) [-]
i thumbed you down, then back up again so that it could feel like i was thumbing you twice.
User avatar #84 to #45 - wargriff (12/28/2011) [-]
I haven't lol'd that hard in days!
User avatar #47 to #45 - xXxCoolBeansxXx (12/28/2011) [-]
I lold.
#69 - lenus (12/28/2011) [-]
>Hey beautiful
>Hi.



SHE TEXTED BACK!
+39
#72 to #69 - sethstaysg **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #22 - austinsaget (12/27/2011) [-]
Im gonna try this, gimme a minute im gonna use facebook chat
User avatar #23 to #22 - austinsaget (12/27/2011) [-]
Me: Hey beautiful
her: Who the hell are you
Me: im not saying it because its nice im saying it because its true.
Her: Im gonna tell my boyfriend to beat your ass when breaks over Richard Simmonsgot.
Me: Im a equal opportunity ass kicker.
Her: Bye
Me: Balls of steel.
User avatar #24 to #23 - austinsaget (12/27/2011) [-]
..... ****
#89 to #23 - iamnewhere (12/28/2011) [-]
This image has expired
Content posted 6 hours ago,
Comment posted 2 hours ago,
Comment has 91 thumbs......

If you don't get highest rated comment i'll eat my house..
#101 to #89 - readthisbackwards (12/28/2011) [-]
....Dolphin tits....Not sure if gusta...
#880 to #23 - austinsaget (12/28/2011) [-]
I woke up and I have like 70 notifications O.o
#881 to #880 - haaaxderp (12/28/2011) [-]
Excellent job mate, today, you shall bask in the glory of 1000 green thumbs.

Feel like a sir.
#883 to #881 - austinsaget (12/28/2011) [-]
mmm,yes quite
User avatar #570 to #23 - vanoreo (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: Balls of steel
Her: What?
Me: Balls of steel
Her: Who are you
Me: Balls of steel
Her: I'm scared
Me: Balls of steel
Her: Please stop texting me
Me: Balls of steel!
Her: I don't know who you are, but I'm blocking your number
Me: BALLS OF STEEL!

Then she blocked my number
#337 to #23 - Whipstyle (12/28/2011) [-]
Comment Picture

+8
#484 to #23 - soarinbolt **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#890 to #23 - toweringschlongten (12/28/2011) [-]
hhha sme thin hapan to mi lest wek
User avatar #892 to #890 - xxxherfaultxxx (12/28/2011) [-]
N. O.
-10
#778 to #23 - hidefromme has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #876 to #778 - inku (12/28/2011) [-]
Even if it was fake, so what? It was funny and that's what matters on FUNNYJunk.
#413 to #23 - anon (12/28/2011) [-]
so gud taingka tue gurls
#537 to #413 - budbrown (12/28/2011) [-]
Comment Picture

#525 to #413 - cbawesome (12/28/2011) [-]
I'm not sure if you banged your head off the keyboard or if it's a different language I don't recognize, but I couldn't resist this. No disrespect
#626 to #413 - glasstrampoline (12/28/2011) [-]
Why can't I flag this picture as offensi- OH WAIT! This is funnyjunk.. Haha, oh wow.
Why can't I flag this picture as offensi- OH WAIT! This is funnyjunk.. Haha, oh wow.
0
#622 to #413 - glasstrampoline has deleted their comment [-]
#610 - anon (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: Hey Beautiful
Her: Do i know you?


She wants my dick.
User avatar #612 to #610 - hodgenscon (12/28/2011) [-]
Creepy ass movie.
User avatar #611 to #610 - mahnamesjakers (12/28/2011) [-]
No Country for Old Men <3
#576 - unmercifulgod (12/28/2011) [-]
me: Hey there beautiful
her: um... hi?
me: I'm not saying it because its nice, im saying it because its true
her: um... alright. random lol
me: I just thought it was about time to talk to more beautiful girls and chew some more gum. and i was all outta gum
her: uhhh okay? Haha. What's up?
me: I've got balls of steel!
her: (my name) R u high right now? ...
me: Hail the king!!
her: Yeah, im gonna go now...


+17
#604 to #576 - edielsanchez **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #605 to #576 - DisgruntledTomato (12/28/2011) [-]
not bad, all I got was this
me: Hey there beautiful
her: **** off
#608 to #605 - anon (12/28/2011) [-]
lol
lol
User avatar #641 to #608 - codeboy (12/28/2011) [-]
Thank you for the lol good sir. Have my thumb.
#486 - fistpump (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: Hey there beautiful.
Her: Hello son.

User avatar #500 to #486 - waywayjew (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: hey beautiful.
Her: meow...
User avatar #507 to #500 - dworpss (12/28/2011) [-]
the girl that i texted did the exact same thing,
Me: Hey beautiful.
her: Meow.
me:Is that good or bad?
her:*purrr*

Any help translating this? cuz i got nothing
#458 - mazlum (12/28/2011) [-]
Me:Hey beautiful
Ex Girlfriend: Hey sexy :))
Me:Eat **** and die!
Ex Girlfriend: asshole


#492 to #458 - anon (12/28/2011) [-]
You, sir, have deserved an internet! Here you go!
#462 to #458 - sebble (12/28/2011) [-]
You won
0
#468 to #462 - kuukautisveri has deleted their comment [-]
#411 - lolzordz (12/28/2011) [-]
real life:

me - im an equal opportunity ass kicker
her - lol umm i need to go, bye.
#345 - VaultTechy (12/28/2011) [-]
'Cause real girls say stuff like &quot;acting all alpha&quot;
'Cause real girls say stuff like "acting all alpha"

#395 to #345 - shekoru (12/28/2011) [-]
you made me laugh more than the actual post thumb for you.
you made me laugh more than the actual post thumb for you.
#158 - matssundin (12/28/2011) [-]
-hey there beautiful
--soo random..
-im not saying this to be nice im saying it because its true
--still really random..
-i realised its time to talk to beautiful girls and chew some bublegum and i have no gum
--..... wtf HAHHAHAHAH
-ive got balls of steel
--mmmhmmm.. i bet ?
-im an equal oppertunity ass kicker
--alright enough
User avatar #148 - thatevanguy (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: Hey baby.
Her: What?
Me: I'm gonna break a broomstick off in your ass.
/disconnected

Me: **** ...wrong line...
#167 to #148 - douchec (12/28/2011) [-]
HAHAH WTF!!!!
User avatar #152 to #148 - TardytheTurtle (12/28/2011) [-]
i don't know why but i can't stop laughing from your comment
+3
#457 to #148 - thelonebackpack **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#65 - Lmaoplanes (12/28/2011) [-]
> Hey beautiful.
> STOP ******* CALLING ME GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

>Gosh; okay grandma.
#541 - FUUUUUCKYEAH (12/28/2011) [-]
Smooth as a babies bottom.
You'll have to enlarge.
#802 to #541 - crappidgeon (12/28/2011) [-]
I don't even give a **** if this was fake, it was ******* hillarious!
User avatar #564 to #541 - madobnoxious (12/28/2011) [-]
all hail FUUUUUCKYEAH
User avatar #617 to #541 - masterofallgoats (12/28/2011) [-]
Guys, his username is Herp Derpington Herpson and the girl still talks to him as if she knows who he is. How can this possibly be real? Feel free to prove me wrong, though. If this actually happened, it would be the funniest thing ever.
User avatar #631 to #541 - maddcarrot (12/28/2011) [-]
MAOR
#557 to #541 - hydregion (12/28/2011) [-]
OMG THATS ******* HILARIOUS
#554 to #541 - invaderzimandgir (12/28/2011) [-]
I have never laughed so hard in my life, good sir.
User avatar #544 to #541 - aroguepixel (12/28/2011) [-]
You hero.
#546 to #541 - anon (12/28/2011) [-]
XDDD I ******* LOVE YOU
#579 to #541 - cheetahface (12/28/2011) [-]
use duke nukem lines to pretend to hit on a girl and ruin relationship with her


"everyone on FJ will think i'm hilarious!"
#512 - ishitbricks (12/28/2011) [-]
Me: Hey beautiful.
#536 to #513 - khakykage (12/28/2011) [-]
**khakykage rolled a random image posted in comment #11 at Weekend at grandpas pt. 2 ** Him: Who the **** are you?! and you bitch! the **** are you doing outside the kitchen?
#403 - klondikemonster (12/28/2011) [-]
Hey there beautiful!

.....
User avatar #401 - desuforeverlulz (12/28/2011) [-]
>Hey there beautiful.
>Aren't you married? I'm not a homewrecker lol.

Dammit.
#379 - ethaelso (12/28/2011) [-]
This is as fake as aids
User avatar #384 to #379 - lokiwins (12/28/2011) [-]
Get down from there cats, you aren't facial hair. You are cats.
User avatar #390 to #384 - xxcouragewolfx (12/28/2011) [-]
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, CATS, YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE. YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION. YOU CAN BE FACIAL HAIR IF YOU WANT TO.
+39
#214 - fivebecomesfour **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #712 to #214 - Surreal (12/28/2011) [-]
did.....that just.......i....what?
[ 772 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)