Joke. Just a joke that I remembered right now. EDIT: Thanks for Top 20 guys! This is the first time I got front page! THANK YOU ALL WHO THUMBED EITHER WAY!. So, Russian joke i am epic
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Joke

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Joke. Just a joke that I remembered right now. EDIT: Thanks for Top 20 guys! This is the first time I got front page! THANK YOU ALL WHO THUMBED EITHER WAY!. So,

Just a joke that I remembered right now.
EDIT: Thanks for Top 20 guys! This is the first time I got front page! THANK YOU ALL WHO THUMBED EITHER WAY!

So, China scientists invented a clock, that when it
hears' cursing it moves 1 minute further.
First, they placed it in an English bar. The clock
was 5 minutes further.
Second, they placed it in a Sweden bar. The clock
was 7 minutes further.
Third, they placed it in a Russian bar. The clock
was missing.
Where is the clock that we placed?" asked the
scientist.
Oh, that was a clock? We thought, why would we
need a fan in winter..." said the Barkeeper.
...
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Views: 44298
Favorited: 271
Submitted: 12/13/2011
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Comments(207):

[ 207 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#68 - jettripleseven (12/14/2011) [-]
meanwhile in russia
#164 to #68 - xsynysterx (12/14/2011) [-]
Putin approves
#117 - mytrakytra (12/14/2011) [-]
This image has expired
Well that was fan-tastic.
#122 to #117 - omwtfbbq **User deleted account** (12/14/2011) [-]
I see what you did there.
User avatar #38 - urok (12/14/2011) [-]
INSTALL IN ALL HIGHSCHOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User avatar #62 to #38 - roflstorm (12/14/2011) [-]
INSTALL IN ALL THE MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASSROOMS
#63 to #62 - urok (12/14/2011) [-]
that too.
that too.
User avatar #7 - tolikbro (12/13/2011) [-]
It's true. I'm Russian and been living in the states for a while so I only hear the typical American swears. When I hear a Russian curse someone out, it hurts my soul because it's just so elaborate and so much more scathing.
User avatar #33 to #7 - Gravehopper (12/14/2011) [-]
а ну давайте перестанем материть... а?
User avatar #56 to #33 - unhappytaco (12/14/2011) [-]
Look at these pansy ass translator russians. I can see your mistakes. ******** . I am russian, and I tend to swear a lot. But still less than americans.
User avatar #73 to #56 - Gravehopper (12/14/2011) [-]
feels bad when you have been away from the home country for so long that you type like an American with google translate :(
User avatar #130 to #7 - mothertrollbegood ONLINE (12/14/2011) [-]
Shoulda tried it in Australia, it'd be like one of them industrial fans
User avatar #166 to #7 - killburn (12/14/2011) [-]
i heard one guy tell me to "suck a wheelbarrow full of dicks"
User avatar #15 to #7 - commy (12/13/2011) [-]
да не пизди ты, блять! в россии не ругаются матом, им разговаривают, lol
User avatar #20 to #15 - tolikbro (12/13/2011) [-]
так и я про то. просто отвык от настоящего мата
#116 to #20 - anon (12/14/2011) [-]
я помню, когда я узнал, как использовать Google Translate
User avatar #177 to #15 - RomanR (12/14/2011) [-]
Русский язык без мата... Это не Русский язык ебять...
User avatar #178 to #177 - RomanR (12/14/2011) [-]
ебать*
0
#126 to #15 - PsychoBrains has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #14 to #7 - martiini (12/13/2011) [-]
бля
User avatar #9 to #7 - euphoricturtle (12/13/2011) [-]
I once heard a russian gay say to my friend "You're gay with your mom." I was wat for days.
User avatar #40 - AGuyThatLaughs (12/14/2011) [-]
So a man died and went to heaven. When he got there an angel greeted him and showed him everything. The angel showed him a wall of clocks and said "This is how much time they have in their lifes. Every time they lie, cheat, steal, commit aldultery, or get drunk it moves 1 minute further." He saw that his clock moved 400 times in his life and felt greatly bad about it. He went exploring around many peoples clocks and saw his wifes had moved 1000 times and was angered. He asked to see Bill Clinton's and the angel replied
"Oh, thats our fan"
User avatar #30 - burtonkillz (12/13/2011) [-]
uhm....irish bar? anyone?
User avatar #49 to #30 - zcdzcd (12/14/2011) [-]
No...There was no bar remaining to ask questions about the clock....This was classified information...I should not have said that...Well enjoy the next 10 minutes of your life
User avatar #64 to #30 - reapuh (12/14/2011) [-]
aye that wus a foony lewkin dart board.
User avatar #34 to #30 - lolollo (12/14/2011) [-]
The clock would commit suicide...or run out of energy.
User avatar #35 to #30 - gildemoono (12/14/2011) [-]
The clock proceeded to power the entire nation when a generator was hooked up to it.
User avatar #67 - trollmetoday ONLINE (12/14/2011) [-]
To those who don't get it: The clock isn't digital.
User avatar #155 to #67 - ViXi (12/14/2011) [-]
When my sister was 12, she told me she didn't know how to read analog clocks...
User avatar #199 to #155 - exoh (12/14/2011) [-]
my sister is 15 and doesnt know how to read one
User avatar #205 to #199 - ViXi (12/14/2011) [-]
On a scale of 1-10, how disappointed are you?
User avatar #207 to #205 - exoh (12/14/2011) [-]
well on her common sense skills and spelling skills id say about a 10, she has trouble spelling words more then 6 letters. also cant spell the word knee correctly
User avatar #211 to #207 - ViXi (12/14/2011) [-]
I know that feel bro.
#90 to #67 - Darkroyal (12/14/2011) [-]
at first i was like
#91 to #90 - Darkroyal (12/14/2011) [-]
after i read your comment i was like
+16
#170 - doctorlean **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #86 - brianboitano (12/14/2011) [-]
"Oh **** , that was a ******* clock? We thought, why the **** would we need a god damn fan in ******* winter..."
+31
#24 - silenthill **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #26 to #24 - zumbles (12/13/2011) [-]
How i read that: six-ARRRRRRRRRRTBEE
#31 to #26 - Gravehopper (12/14/2011) [-]
that's actually the most used swear word in the Russian language... It can follow anything and be used anywhere as many times as you want in a sentence. It is mostly used by the less educated part of the population and means something like "bitch" though the word for bitch is сука (suka)
that's actually the most used swear word in the Russian language... It can follow anything and be used anywhere as many times as you want in a sentence. It is mostly used by the less educated part of the population and means something like "bitch" though the word for bitch is сука (suka)
#32 to #31 - zumbles (12/14/2011) [-]
I did not know this, thank you for the information.
I did not know this, thank you for the information.
User avatar #50 to #31 - dangler (12/14/2011) [-]
Pronounced... Bliyat?
#75 to #50 - Gravehopper (12/14/2011) [-]
word блять has the letter "ь" after the "т". "Ь" makes the previous letter a soft, so king of like adding a "y" sound at the end. ( quick example- "П" is P in Russian but if you make it "Пь" the sound will be the same as the sound of the letter P in the word "Pew".   
Its kind of hard to explain because English does not have the same sounds :|  
To answer your question simply, yes it is pronounced Bliyat and the last "T" is pronounced like T in the word Tits. I tried explaining that concept to my friend but he wouldn't get it, I hope I didnt make it too hard :|
word блять has the letter "ь" after the "т". "Ь" makes the previous letter a soft, so king of like adding a "y" sound at the end. ( quick example- "П" is P in Russian but if you make it "Пь" the sound will be the same as the sound of the letter P in the word "Pew".
Its kind of hard to explain because English does not have the same sounds :|
To answer your question simply, yes it is pronounced Bliyat and the last "T" is pronounced like T in the word Tits. I tried explaining that concept to my friend but he wouldn't get it, I hope I didnt make it too hard :|
User avatar #77 to #75 - dangler (12/14/2011) [-]
I get it. But I still like my Germanic language setup.
User avatar #79 to #77 - Gravehopper (12/14/2011) [-]
cool
User avatar #76 to #75 - Gravehopper (12/14/2011) [-]
got carried away and made some mistakes + didn't end the bracket :|
#202 - tgrenfell (12/14/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#191 - ilikerolling (12/14/2011) [-]
**ilikerolling rolled a random image posted in comment #34 at Oh god. **
#186 - dimondz (12/14/2011) [-]
mfw i didn't get it because i thought they meant digital clock
User avatar #188 to #186 - abovelawl (12/14/2011) [-]
you're not alone, I was thinking digital clock at first too
0
#193 to #186 - squrrillyadamss **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#190 to #186 - dudeguyFTW (12/14/2011) [-]
I laugh at your stupidity.
I laugh at your stupidity.
#200 to #186 - lladnorf (12/14/2011) [-]
anyone who thinks this a digital clock really is a generation ahead of anyone who knew it was a clock with hands, makes me feel old knowing it had hands.....
#204 to #200 - livinglegacy (12/14/2011) [-]
I assumed because it said "moved", the hands were physically moving, and thus assumed it was an analog clock. Plus, come on now. Flashy lights are nothing compared to a nice set of hands. ;)
User avatar #219 to #200 - bulbakip (12/14/2011) [-]
I thought i had hands... omg you mean they dont make analog clocks anymore?! no wait... these are just mindless kids who cant read analog. yeah.......
#87 - darklit (12/14/2011) [-]
It's sad because i feel a lot of younger people don't get the joke since they don't know what analog is..
User avatar #118 to #87 - jettripleseven (12/14/2011) [-]
are there really people who can't read an analog clock.
ilikethisplanetyougetoff.jpg
#84 - iamphoenix (12/14/2011) [-]
*Insert clever joke about in Soviet Russia thing does you and 140% of the post being funny*
#185 - cinematicbrix (12/14/2011) [-]
Ahhh, now I get it, the clock was moving so fast they thought it was a fan
Ahhh, now I get it, the clock was moving so fast they thought it was a fan
User avatar #153 - Fear The Pie Man (12/14/2011) [-]
Heard a variation of this as a fap joke.

You start the joke saying your friends name, and he has died and gone to Hell. He is in a room full of clocks. But not just any clocks. The Devil says, each one represents a person, and each time they fap, the clock advances 1 hour. Your friend asks, "where is mine?"
Oh, we keep it in the back, using it as a fan!
#10 - dalle (12/13/2011) [-]
Sweden bar??? What the **** is a Sweden bar????
#221 - jaxonnn (12/14/2011) [-]
Fixed *
User avatar #222 to #221 - SkidPig (12/14/2011) [-]
WINRAR
#223 to #221 - ichbinlegion **User deleted account** (12/14/2011) [-]
i lold'
#225 to #221 - playersbewarned (12/14/2011) [-]
oh god i laughed
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