Joke. Just a joke that I remembered right now. EDIT: Thanks for Top 20 guys! This is the first time I got front page! THANK YOU ALL WHO THUMBED EITHER WAY!. So, Russian joke i am epic
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Joke. Just a joke that I remembered right now. EDIT: Thanks for Top 20 guys! This is the first time I got front page! THANK YOU ALL WHO THUMBED EITHER WAY!. So,

Just a joke that I remembered right now.
EDIT: Thanks for Top 20 guys! This is the first time I got front page! THANK YOU ALL WHO THUMBED EITHER WAY!

So, China scientists invented a clock, that when it
hears' cursing it moves 1 minute further.
First, they placed it in an English bar. The clock
was 5 minutes further.
Second, they placed it in a Sweden bar. The clock
was 7 minutes further.
Third, they placed it in a Russian bar. The clock
was missing.
Where is the clock that we placed?" asked the
scientist.
Oh, that was a clock? We thought, why would we
need a fan in winter..." said the Barkeeper.
...
+2599
Views: 44369 Submitted: 12/13/2011
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[ 207 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#68 - jettripleseven
Reply +178 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
meanwhile in russia
#168 to #68 - mmgmm
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
#164 to #68 - xsynysterx
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
Putin approves
User avatar #7 - tolikbro
Reply +59 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
It's true. I'm Russian and been living in the states for a while so I only hear the typical American swears. When I hear a Russian curse someone out, it hurts my soul because it's just so elaborate and so much more scathing.
User avatar #33 to #7 - Gravehopper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
а ну давайте перестанем материть... а?
User avatar #56 to #33 - unhappytaco
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
Look at these pansy ass translator russians. I can see your mistakes. ********. I am russian, and I tend to swear a lot. But still less than americans.
User avatar #73 to #56 - Gravehopper
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
feels bad when you have been away from the home country for so long that you type like an American with google translate :(
User avatar #130 to #7 - mothertrollbegood
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
Shoulda tried it in Australia, it'd be like one of them industrial fans
User avatar #166 to #7 - killburn
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
i heard one guy tell me to "suck a wheelbarrow full of dicks"
User avatar #15 to #7 - commy
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
да не пизди ты, блять! в россии не ругаются матом, им разговаривают, lol
User avatar #20 to #15 - tolikbro
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
так и я про то. просто отвык от настоящего мата
#116 to #20 - anon id: 7d26db7f
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
я помню, когда я узнал, как использовать Google Translate
User avatar #177 to #15 - RomanR
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
Русский язык без мата... Это не Русский язык ебять...
User avatar #178 to #177 - RomanR
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
ебать*
#126 to #15 - PsychoBrains
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #14 to #7 - martiini
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
бля
User avatar #9 to #7 - euphoricturtle
Reply +89 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
I once heard a russian gay say to my friend "You're gay with your mom." I was wat for days.
#117 - mytrakytra
Reply +56 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
This image has expired
Well that was fan-tastic.
#122 to #117 - omwtfbbq **User deleted account**
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
I see what you did there.
User avatar #67 - trollmetoday
Reply +47 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
To those who don't get it: The clock isn't digital.
User avatar #155 to #67 - ViXi
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
When my sister was 12, she told me she didn't know how to read analog clocks...
User avatar #199 to #155 - exoh
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
my sister is 15 and doesnt know how to read one
User avatar #205 to #199 - ViXi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
On a scale of 1-10, how disappointed are you?
User avatar #207 to #205 - exoh
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
well on her common sense skills and spelling skills id say about a 10, she has trouble spelling words more then 6 letters. also cant spell the word knee correctly
User avatar #211 to #207 - ViXi
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
I know that feel bro.
#90 to #67 - Darkroyal
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
at first i was like
#91 to #90 - Darkroyal
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
after i read your comment i was like
#24 - silenthill **User deleted account**
+31 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #26 to #24 - zumbles
Reply +41 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
How i read that: six-ARRRRRRRRRRTBEE
#31 to #26 - Gravehopper
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
that's actually the most used swear word in the Russian language... It can follow anything and be used anywhere as many times as you want in a sentence. It is mostly used by the less educated part of the population and means something like "bitch" though the word for bitch is сука (suka)
that's actually the most used swear word in the Russian language... It can follow anything and be used anywhere as many times as you want in a sentence. It is mostly used by the less educated part of the population and means something like "bitch" though the word for bitch is сука (suka)
#32 to #31 - zumbles
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
I did not know this, thank you for the information.
I did not know this, thank you for the information.
User avatar #50 to #31 - dangler
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
Pronounced... Bliyat?
#75 to #50 - Gravehopper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
word блять has the letter "ь" after the "т". "Ь" makes the previous letter a soft, so king of like adding a "y" sound at the end. ( quick example- "П" is P in Russian but if you make it "Пь" the sound will be the same as the sound of the letter P in the word "Pew".   
Its kind of hard to explain because English does not have the same sounds :|  
To answer your question simply, yes it is pronounced Bliyat and the last "T" is pronounced like T in the word Tits. I tried explaining that concept to my friend but he wouldn't get it, I hope I didnt make it too hard :|
word блять has the letter "ь" after the "т". "Ь" makes the previous letter a soft, so king of like adding a "y" sound at the end. ( quick example- "П" is P in Russian but if you make it "Пь" the sound will be the same as the sound of the letter P in the word "Pew".
Its kind of hard to explain because English does not have the same sounds :|
To answer your question simply, yes it is pronounced Bliyat and the last "T" is pronounced like T in the word Tits. I tried explaining that concept to my friend but he wouldn't get it, I hope I didnt make it too hard :|
User avatar #77 to #75 - dangler
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
I get it. But I still like my Germanic language setup.
User avatar #79 to #77 - Gravehopper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
cool
User avatar #76 to #75 - Gravehopper
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
got carried away and made some mistakes + didn't end the bracket :|
User avatar #30 - burtonkillz
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
uhm....irish bar? anyone?
User avatar #49 to #30 - zcdzcd
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
No...There was no bar remaining to ask questions about the clock....This was classified information...I should not have said that...Well enjoy the next 10 minutes of your life
User avatar #64 to #30 - reapuh
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
aye that wus a foony lewkin dart board.
User avatar #34 to #30 - lolollo
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
The clock would commit suicide...or run out of energy.
User avatar #35 to #30 - gildemoono
Reply +40 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
The clock proceeded to power the entire nation when a generator was hooked up to it.
#10 - dalle
Reply +37 123456789123345869
(12/13/2011) [-]
Sweden bar??? What the **** is a Sweden bar????
User avatar #38 - urok
Reply +33 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
INSTALL IN ALL HIGHSCHOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User avatar #62 to #38 - roflstorm
Reply +9 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
INSTALL IN ALL THE MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASSROOMS
#63 to #62 - urok
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
that too.
that too.
User avatar #86 - brianboitano
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
"Oh ****, that was a ******* clock? We thought, why the **** would we need a god damn fan in ******* winter..."
#72 - baconvodca **User deleted account**
+13 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#80 to #72 - lordbuttersi
Reply +15 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
How do you feel being part of the 140%?
#81 to #80 - baconvodca **User deleted account**
+28 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#92 to #81 - manlymustache
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(12/14/2011) [-]
That was pretty funny.
That was pretty funny.
#98 to #92 - baconvodca **User deleted account**
+6 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]