Men vs Women. . Problem No confidence No money No college plans No friends Boring Obscure interests Quiet Rejects a member of the opposite sex Expects sex as pa Men vs Women Problem No confidence money college plans friends Boring Obscure interests Quiet Rejects a member of the opposite sex Expects as pa
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Men vs Women

No confidence
No money
No college plans
No friends
Obscure interests
Rejects a member of
the opposite sex
Expects sex as part of a
Not in the mood for sex
Bad in bed
Raped and needs help
Want to end your current
Shitty, low end job with
no career prospects
Own guns
Don' t want an expensive
Don' t play sports or go to
the gym
Your country has
You world is
gender and you seek
You aren' t physically
capable ofthe work
You a en t attractive
Had sex with an
underaged member ofthe
opposite sex
Throw an emotional
tantrum to try and get
your way
Hit your spouse during an
Expect gifts during
valentine' s day and other
Wants to feel as much
pleasure as possible
during sex
You can' t cook and don' t
want to do the housework
You are into hobbies like
video games, anime and
other stuff most people
consider "weird"
You want to wait till
marriage for sex
You are a homosexual or
Want a wide variety of
clothing and fashion
Enjoy masturbation
Feel horny, want to get a
one night stand
Dump your current
Crying and being
Have a particular sexual
fetish (bdsm, uniforms,
He' ll ask me out
He' ll pay
He doesn t even ask
It' s expected of me
He' ll pretend to
be interested
I just have to look good
He obviously didn' t
meet her
You are a assertive,
liberated woman
It' s expected
Just lie back.
Tons groups
and everyone is
File a divorce, get half
ofyour husband' s
assets, and
upgrade to a
hotter/ richer man
All you have to do is be
good looking
Brave woman who is
taking action to defend
Knows howto handle
and plan
forthe future
It' s expected
The men defend you
fortree, employers
prefered hire you
due to no reservist
around the world agree
and supporters
Standards will be
lowered foryou to be
Eventually someone
will still settle for you
Slap on the wrist,
everyone says the boy
was really lucky
Just use the "' s that
time ofthe month
excuse" or "women
are more emotional"
He' s a man, he can
take it. He probably
deserved it too!
Its a girl' s special day,
the man should
pamper her!
It' s expected and
encouraged fora
woman to orgasm as
fast and as much as
You are a liberated
woman! You don' t have
to do those things
Guys will still like you
are pure and innocent.
Guys are expected to
Guys thinkyou are
really hot
Near infinite choices
No social stigma, guys
think it' s hot and are
happy that a woman
knows how her body
Go to the nearest
bar/ club/ etc, sit or
stand at the bar and
give the international
signal of "woman
Wait for someone to
butyou a drink. Fuck.
You go girl! He
obviously wasn' t
Men will rush to
That is soomo hot!
You' re FUCKED
You' re FUCKED
You' re FUCKED
You' re FUCKED
You' re FUCKED
You' re FUCKED
You' re FUCKED
People accuse you of
being gay
Hearst wants to get in
her pants!!!
You must be either gay
or impotent!
Worthless man! Dump
him and find someone
who can satisfy you!
Everyone thinks you are
lying because "it' s
impossible to rape a
Have your life
completely destroyed by
biased courts
You' re FUCKED
Crazy gun nut that
doesn' t really need
You' re FUCKED
Everyone thinks you are
a loser
You' re FUCKED
Pussy! Grow some balls!
Everyone thinks you are
a loser
You are fucked, unless
you are rich/ famous
and marry a gold digger
Raped to death in
Everyone thinks you are
a spoilt child
You are already getting
sex, what more do you
If you orgasm before the
woman is satisfied, you
are a failure
What a lazy slob! You
just want a woman to do
it for you!
You are a loser nerd
with no life! You should
work out more and get
more money!
What a creep! Dump
him! He' s probably a
crazy religious nut!
You are the primary
target of LGBT violence,
your male friends now
avoid you because they
are scared they will be
mistaken foryour sexual
Female fashion stores
outnumber male ones
by at least and you
are only allowed to wear
a bland shirt + pants to
work, or a suit
People think you are a
loser who can' t get a
Spend hours getting
multiple rejections at
bars/ clubs/ etc because
you are not
handsome/ rich enough
or being used as a free
drink dispenser.
Typical playboy! He was
probably cheating on
Everyone thinks you are
a pussy
Omg are you a rapist?)
Get away from me
Views: 61763 Submitted: 12/09/2011
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Anonymous comments allowed.
#19 - rubberfruit
Reply +113 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
dumb bitch
dumb bitch
User avatar #429 to #19 - thepsycho
Reply -3 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
It looks like he just orgasm'd
#31 to #19 - kevinsm
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Thats genius!
#232 to #19 - furrytoes
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Seems Legit.
He did not make contact with her.
User avatar #22 to #19 - php
Reply +66 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Chinese William Shatner?
User avatar #9 - AMTZ
Reply +75 123456789123345869
(12/09/2011) [-]
This wasn't even remotely funny because it's so true. Damn women. -_-
#335 to #9 - cjasper
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
I know what u mean
User avatar #11 - fuckfacez
Reply +61 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
i relized that if a male fights a female and wins he's a dick and if he loses he's a pussy
User avatar #26 to #11 - Pharonix
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
My mom's words too,
"maybe if I let you hit them once or twice, you wouldn't have grown up such a pussy."
Thanks for the love mom!
User avatar #25 to #11 - Pharonix
Reply +17 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
I'm not even allowed to hit my sisters,
even if they kick me in the balls 47 times first.

My parents threatened to destroy all my tech stuff and disown me and stop paying for college if I do.

Equal rights my ******* ASS.
#13 - hargleblarg
Reply +56 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Not sure if I'm ******

Or...No. Wait. I'm ******.
#43 - icedcarbon
Reply +51 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
<--- MFW I finished reading it all.
#390 - billydabob
Reply +44 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
#447 to #390 - wolffangz **User deleted account**
+1 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#229 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
well i have no conifdence  
no money  
no college plans  
no friends  
i'm boring  
i'm quite  
i don't play sports  
i'm ugly  
i play video games and watch anime  
my question is:  
should i kill myself now or just wait until i die alone?  
inb4 no one takes me seriously because i'm anon
well i have no conifdence
no money
no college plans
no friends
i'm boring
i'm quite
i don't play sports
i'm ugly
i play video games and watch anime

my question is:

should i kill myself now or just wait until i die alone?

inb4 no one takes me seriously because i'm anon

User avatar #237 to #229 - shenro
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
im pretty much like you :l
#238 to #229 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
I would definitely end it now, but that's just me
User avatar #245 to #229 - lemonadikh
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
if are thinking of suicide why dont you just try and do something you think its impossible?
do something you believe that will make you more confident, talk to a girl, its just another human. ask her out BAM! friendzone you got your friend! find a ****** job get some money take your friend while looking good 2-3 ppl will look at you BAM! more confidence. you know easy stuff like that, if nothing of this wont work then do whatever you feel its the right think, but at least do it like a hero..
#260 to #229 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
I understand you're going through a tough time, and i dont wanna tell you what to do... but, eurh...
User avatar #274 to #229 - ilovecher
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
you won't die alone. you'd be surprised at how many girls fall in love every 10 seconds.
all you have to do is do one nice thing to them and they start thinking about you
#247 to #229 - matuxas
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
**matuxas rolled a random image posted in comment #160 at That high comp 10 ** you're not the only one
#234 to #229 - pablol
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
you are what you make yourself, if you feel destroying youself is the answer to what you feel is a problem that you have created then take a step back and sort it out
User avatar #246 to #229 - nhimds
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
you remind me of myself few years ago so i know that feel bro
try getting some friend first (find someone with a video game,anime interest like you)
after you get some friend you will stop being quiet
after you stop being quiet you will get more confidence
after you get confidence you will stop being boring
after you done all of that nobody will think you are ugly :)

#242 to #229 - koalafication
Reply +40 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Listen here, anon.

I'm going to go through the checklist here:

You have no money = You don't have a job
You have no college plans = You haven't attended college yet, therefore are under the age of 21
You have no friends = You're lying, or you're trying to fit in with groups who you wouldn't be happy with anyway
You're boring = You're lying
You're quiet = You're quiet until you get to know somebody. Welcome to at least 50% of the world's populace (See? You're fitting in!).
You don't play sports = Who gives a flying toss
You're ugly = Ugliness is subject to personal opinion. There is no such thing as a person 'being ugly'. There is, however, such a thing as other people considering somebody else 'ugly'. These people can go **** themselves with a rake.
You play video games and watch anime = Welcome to the internet. Lots of us have girlfriends.

Total score: Sticking with the previous assumption that you're under 21, I'm going to give you some very sound advice.
If not and you want somebody to talk to, hit me up.
#261 to #242 - koalafication
Reply +26 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
I'M NOT ******* DONE YET.
Also let me hazard a guess here:

You frequently imagine your own death.
You either imagine a funeral in which everybody is celebrating your death, there is champagne, people are happy and so forth. Or, you imagine nobody reacting at all, discussing among themselves that now that you're finally gone they can all get on with their lives that little bit easier.
Or, you imagine yourself living but foreveralone.jpg for the rest of your life, eventually dying old, in a lonely single bed crying yourself to the next life.

These are all classic symptoms of either teenage/young adult hormonal action or depression. The world is a much brighter place than you imagine it to be. The truth is if you die (This applies to ALL of you) people will be ******* devastated.

People would cry, miss you. Would regret not taking time to see you more often or share more memories with you. This applies to every god damn one of you.
No matter how depressed you are, or how hopeless you think life is:
There are people who live in a better world simply because you take breath.

For those of you who believe you have problems; ******* FIX THEM.

You think you're ugly? Work out, it will simultaneously boost your confidence.
Have no money? Get a casual or part-time job. There are always places looking for workers, even if you aren't looking in the right places.
No college plans? I did high school over 2 years and it's only now, at the end of my second year that I F[white][white]INALLY know what I want to do with myself. My father was a god-damned milkman and my mother a housewife until they were 35 years old. Know what dad did when he realized he couldn't sustain two children and his wife? He ******* went to university, got two bachelors and now has a very stable job in the government doing work he loves to do.

TL;DR: You're alive. You have unlimited opppourtunities.
Now go show ******* exactly how you want to live your life.
#269 to #261 - Frankles
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
The internet did something good today..
User avatar #263 to #261 - koalafication
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Final year of high school*
#636 to #261 - maxion **User deleted account**
0 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#629 to #261 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
too bad i had to think that all by myself years ago, those were dark depressed times

anw, I hope y'all ****** take this man seriously, because he's right you know
#272 to #261 - darktailia
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
This guy knows what he is talking about. A few months back I was suffering just like that anon was. I saw the world as very bleak I even had social anxiety and would have problems just stepping outside the house. But you know what? One day I woke up and just thought what the hell am I thinking? I have a family who cares about me and other people have it worse than me. I did lose my friends because I isolated myself but who cares, they weren't my type of people anyway! I know that I will be alright in the future and you can be too.

And refering to the post, not all females are shallow, I used to like someone who wasn't the best looking and who wasn't the most entertaining.. Until I found out he was an absolute jerk, took a while to see his true colours. So no, you are not "******".
#248 to #242 - lemonadikh
Reply +4 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
i like you, you are smart.
#224 - serker
Reply +36 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Yea ! and when girl sleeps with 5 guys it's &quot;slutty&quot; and when the guy does the same it's homosexual !?
Yea ! and when girl sleeps with 5 guys it's "slutty" and when the guy does the same it's homosexual !?
User avatar #575 - atemysharpie
Reply +35 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
my female opinion?
meh. guys have it bad. it's a fact of life, and sexism has been turned against them.
I'd say "what goes around comes around" but I'd get a sea of red thumbs. And in all honesty, no gender deserves any of this crap
#667 to #575 - anon
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
How is it used against them when the group that did commit sexism is old and dying and the people that are being hurt are the new born that want women rights?
User avatar #684 to #667 - atemysharpie
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
you're taking it the wrong way that I had originally intended lol
Sexism has been turned against men in the way that men are still sexist against women (their original "weapon" if you will) however now sexism hurts men instead of "helping them" (how it originally benefited them is how you look at history)
And you just kind of proved my point with your comment.
Sexism turned on them, so now those people are "old and dying" while women are reaping in the benefits because we were the ones "being hurt"
#595 to #575 - lnerfan
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Thank you!
#599 to #595 - atemysharpie
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
You're welcome! :D

I like vikings.
#601 to #599 - lnerfan
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Vikings? Hell yes!  
Odin be with you, battle sister!
Vikings? Hell yes!

Odin be with you, battle sister!
#606 to #601 - atemysharpie
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
As should he be with you, my fellow brethren >:O
#581 to #575 - adki
Reply +2 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
:-O What a courage!
User avatar #584 to #581 - atemysharpie
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
It's not so much courage as it is "common sense" as well as "ability to see things from a different perspective"
Apparently my gender lacks it.
#598 to #584 - adki
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
we are playing a gentle game here :P

you're right.. but by courage, i mean posting a comment like that on funnyjunk.. just like you, I also expected it be thumbed down :D

Now I see I was wrong :D good job :D
#36 - sosyourmom
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(12/10/2011) [-]
Stay strong boys, and always remember your Ghandi