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Mum: You' re E murderer!
lute: Uh. what'?
Mom: "tauted the tissues in your trash
ntart. Every time you do that. you are letting
Things Parents TI.' Jri. : Iorn
Dad: Fuck we if I' m wrong. but didn' t we
wheel on the winch’?
HIE: EMT Immer
Dad: itaots. Meant for you mom.
Ma: Nice line though
a... rungs Femmes n, -“cam
Dad: How does lady like her steak?
Dad: Raw raw. -- raw new raw
Dad: Your mom wanted to sign up for
facebookk today so I told heythere' s
something better than faceboob: for women:
its called Cookbook.
Croup Things Parents Tort Li: om
Me: I' just received my acceptance
letter from Ea abridge.
Mum: Men. _it' s no Hogwarts.
arm Things Parents "rext. team
Me: I hate wish :i
Morn: You know. There' s a support group
for that. its called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar.
Users Things Parents "rext. corra
Dad: I can' t wait to get an Pad.
Me: I didn' t know you wanted one...
Dad: cm yeah! I' m going to pretend I' m a
midget with an Phone.
Crazy Things Parents
Dad: I want to mate a beer called
responsibly. so the other companies
advertise for me ... "Drink Responsibly"
Things Parents Tea in om
Mom: Akon 2006 "I wanna WI: you" --
Akon EDDIE. " l wanna make love right now
poor guy waited 4 years!
Eraly Things Parents
Dad: You look more callused than a blind
lesbian at a fish market.
Curt Things Parents Takt. rom
Me: Mom I' m gonna get at tattoo.
Mom: The only tattoo I' ll allow u to get is
eyeballs on the bottom of to boobs so
when u get old and saggy u can tring am
over or shoulder and scare the crap outta
the neighbor kids
tint's Things Parent:
Me Dad. who do I look like wrote. you or
Dad: You loos like the hobo who gave you
Creey Things Parents ‘. i: cna
Mom: when Lady Gaga dies, she can
donate her balls to Justin Glibber
traer Things Parents Ttiimm
Dad: You changed your relationship status
to ‘It' s complicated‘ on F acebook' -it
Me: Yeah why'?
Dad: Can' t decide which hand to use'?
draw , etta
Dad: why Can' t Sluts Count to TO?
Dad: BECAUSE 69 IS A MOUTH FULL
canny Things Pa rents Tex Loom
Dad: I changed all my passwords to
incorect". so my tells me
when I forget.
Crazy Things Parents ,
Me Hey where me you?
Dad: Going to hang out at for a bit
so I can feel better about myself,
tn. -y Tth" gs Patents Texta: tam
Me: Mom, you are never going to get better
if you don' t remember to take your
Mom: You wouldn' t be here if I always took
Crazy Things Parents Tex Li: out
Dad: Today. L Realized. That. Typing. Like.
This- Does. Not. Make. Your. Point.
Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look- Like., Your.
Phone- Has. Asthma.
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Me: I' m at MacDonald' s haying El salad
Dad: Ordering salad at Mcd' s is like asking
a whore for a hug
may Things Parents 'eat,. cqtm
Me How are Ll feeling todday?
Dad: Like a tampon. In it good place. At
the wrong time.
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Dad: I' m going to a park with shades on
and a media on. and going to waitting
someone ask me which kid is mine and
then I' m going to reply I haven' t decided
plan for Boredom?
rim Things Parents Teat-,
Me: more have you been the last couple
Dad: I' m playing the African version of
Monopoly. so far. We govt mud huts, 3
cows, a chicken. and aids,
Dad: Have you ever bought anything on
Me: Yeah why'?
Dad: I think Ijust wasted some money on
eBay, I bought a penis enlargement kit and
the dude sent are a magnifying glass.
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Me: Dad can I have some people over
Dad: Yes B people and Ho Alcohol this
Dad: Also ND Fat Chicks
ems, Things Parent:
Mom: Ijust told a gin she drew her
eyebrows on we high,,.,
Isle: what did she say?
Mom: Nothing but she looked pretty
erg, Things Parents Tex Lt; em
Dad: In order for Ll to continue receive
smartical assistance for college from m
mother and l, u have to add m mother as a
friend on facebook. This .
Evarr Things Parent: Tstart, ,
Dad: Think about it. Spongebob has a
bunch of holes and F’ atla' has tit bunch of
pointy pink things. coincidence. I think not
can Things Parents "
Dad: Your Mend who whistles when she
talks isn' t allowed over anymore. She is
confusing the hell out of my dog-
Eran Partyhats "rette.
Morn: I left a cake in the fridge with at note
that said, "don' t eat me." Now there' s a
plate and a note that says. "l don' t take
orders from cake"- was this you or your
father. I promise leant be mad.
Cury Things Parents