Priceless. . tatl K, TIBET Mum: You' re E murderer! lute: Uh. what'? Mom: "tauted the tissues in your trash ntart. Every time you do that. you are letting my gr
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Priceless

tatl K, TIBET
Mum: You' re E murderer!
lute: Uh. what'?
Mom: "tauted the tissues in your trash
ntart. Every time you do that. you are letting
my grandchildren!
Things Parents TI.' Jri. : Iorn
Dad: **** we if I' m wrong. but didn' t we
wheel on the winch’?
HIE: EMT Immer
Dad: itaots. Meant for you mom.
Ma: Nice line though
a... rungs Femmes n, -“cam
Dad: How does lady like her steak?
Dad: Raw raw. -- raw new raw
Things
Dad: Your mom wanted to sign up for
facebookk today so I told heythere' s
something better than faceboob: for women:
its called Cookbook.
Croup Things Parents Tort Li: om
Me: I' just received my acceptance
letter from Ea abridge.
Mum: Men. _it' s no Hogwarts.
arm Things Parents "rext. team
Me: I hate wish :i
Morn: You know. There' s a support group
for that. its called EVERYBODY, and they
meet at the bar.
Users Things Parents "rext. corra
Dad: I can' t wait to get an Pad.
Me: I didn' t know you wanted one...
Dad: cm yeah! I' m going to pretend I' m a
midget with an Phone.
Crazy Things Parents
Dad: I want to mate a beer called
responsibly. so the other companies
advertise for me ... "Drink Responsibly"
Things Parents Tea in om
Mom: Akon 2006 "I wanna WI: you" --
Akon EDDIE. " l wanna make love right now
poor guy waited 4 years!
Eraly Things Parents
Dad: You look more callused than a blind
lesbian at a fish market.
Curt Things Parents Takt. rom
Me: Mom I' m gonna get at tattoo.
Mom: The only tattoo I' ll allow u to get is
eyeballs on the bottom of to boobs so
when u get old and saggy u can tring am
over or shoulder and scare the crap outta
the neighbor kids
tint's Things Parent:
Me Dad. who do I look like wrote. you or
Mom?
Dad: You loos like the hobo who gave you
to us.
Creey Things Parents ‘. i: cna
Mom: when Lady Gaga dies, she can
donate her balls to Justin Glibber
traer Things Parents Ttiimm
Dad: You changed your relationship status
to ‘It' s complicated‘ on F acebook' -it
Me: Yeah why'?
Dad: Can' t decide which hand to use'?
draw , etta
Dad: why Can' t Sluts Count to TO?
Me: Idrk
Dad: BECAUSE 69 IS A MOUTH FULL
canny Things Pa rents Tex Loom
Dad: I changed all my passwords to
incorect". so my tells me
when I forget.
Crazy Things Parents ,
Me Hey where me you?
Dad: Going to hang out at for a bit
so I can feel better about myself,
tn. -y Tth" gs Patents Texta: tam
Me: Mom, you are never going to get better
if you don' t remember to take your
medicine,
Mom: You wouldn' t be here if I always took
my medicine
Crazy Things Parents Tex Li: out
Dad: Today. L Realized. That. Typing. Like.
This- Does. Not. Make. Your. Point.
Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look- Like., Your.
Phone- Has. Asthma.
rim Things Parents
Me: I' m at MacDonald' s haying El salad
Dad: Ordering salad at Mcd' s is like asking
a whore for a hug
may Things Parents 'eat,. cqtm
Me How are Ll feeling todday?
Dad: Like a tampon. In it good place. At
the wrong time.
Things Parents Tatata. -,
Dad: I' m going to a park with shades on
and a media on. and going to waitting
someone ask me which kid is mine and
then I' m going to reply I haven' t decided
plan for Boredom?
rim Things Parents Teat-,
Me: more have you been the last couple
of hours?
Dad: I' m playing the African version of
Monopoly. so far. We govt mud huts, 3
cows, a chicken. and aids,
Things Parents
Dad: Have you ever bought anything on
eBay'?
Me: Yeah why'?
Dad: I think Ijust wasted some money on
eBay, I bought a penis enlargement kit and
the dude sent are a magnifying glass.
erg... Things Parents 'rext. corer
Me: Dad can I have some people over
Dad: Yes B people and Ho Alcohol this
time.
Dad: Also ND Fat Chicks
ems, Things Parent:
Mom: Ijust told a gin she drew her
eyebrows on we high,,.,
Isle: what did she say?
Mom: Nothing but she looked pretty
surprised
erg, Things Parents Tex Lt; em
Dad: In order for Ll to continue receive
smartical assistance for college from m
mother and l, u have to add m mother as a
friend on facebook. This .
Evarr Things Parent: Tstart, ,
Dad: Think about it. Spongebob has a
bunch of holes and F’ atla' has tit bunch of
pointy pink things. coincidence. I think not
can Things Parents "
Dad: Your Mend who whistles when she
talks isn' t allowed over anymore. She is
confusing the hell out of my dog-
Eran Partyhats "rette.
Morn: I left a cake in the fridge with at note
that said, "don' t eat me." Now there' s a
plate and a note that says. "l don' t take
orders from cake"- was this you or your
father. I promise leant be mad.
Cury Things Parents
...
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Views: 44244
Favorited: 504
Submitted: 11/24/2011
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Comments(191):

[ 191 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#5 - nhorozov (11/24/2011) [-]
**nhorozov rolled a random image**
#25 - vegihead (11/25/2011) [-]
Im in a room full of people reading this and i just sat here supressing retarted giggles the whole time. yay for feeling retarted..
Im in a room full of people reading this and i just sat here supressing retarted giggles the whole time. yay for feeling retarted..
User avatar #122 to #25 - popebenedict (11/25/2011) [-]
That awkward moment when you spell "retarded" wrong.
User avatar #211 to #122 - vegihead (11/25/2011) [-]
oops. what can i say. I'm retarded, and also posted that after a few glasses of wine.
#98 - joemanperson (11/25/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#93 - anon (11/25/2011) [-]
nuff said
User avatar #123 to #93 - superdyke (11/25/2011) [-]
do you fake roll?
#24 - MrNoHandsHeavy (11/25/2011) [-]
If. I. Type. Like. This. Then. You. Will. Read. This. Taking. Pauses. In. Between. Each. Word. And. Won't. Even. Notice. The. Game.
User avatar #53 to #24 - robobuster (11/25/2011) [-]
I feel like caboose from Red Vs. Blue
+14
#30 to #24 - mykroe **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#120 - stuntmanmike (11/25/2011) [-]
The last one.
#59 - vedomajkatrololol (11/25/2011) [-]
oh yeah sure seems legit, moms and dads just randomly texting you jokes and punchlines..
oh yeah sure seems legit, moms and dads just randomly texting you jokes and punchlines..
+8
#10 - ladymirror **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#62 - jorgefuber (11/25/2011) [-]
**jorgefuber rolled a random image** my parents..
#12 - twinsen (11/25/2011) [-]
"You look more confused that a blind lesbian on a fish market."

laughed my ass off!!!
#26 to #12 - funnyjunktitan (11/25/2011) [-]
**funnyjunktitan rolled a random image** MFW it's "at" a fish market
#127 - assassinoo (11/25/2011) [-]
LOLed :D
LOLed :D
#105 - NotAdmin (11/25/2011) [-]
i laughed really hard at a bunch of these, thanks OP.
i laughed really hard at a bunch of these, thanks OP.
User avatar #18 - ohgodwaitimatheist (11/25/2011) [-]
Boy, I loved this big time. Hardly I say I did laugh on something on internet and actually laughed irl. Anyway I just wanna point up two things.

1 - A very small ammount of the jokes are known for pretty much anyone (e.g. the complicated relationship on Facebook), which made me think for a while this wasn't about actual texts, anyway, most was really fun and new (I'm still laughing about the blind lesbian on a fish market).

2 - You killed the happy inner me in the end with the generic thumbwhoring. Dude don't do that!
User avatar #169 to #161 - ivoryhammer (11/25/2011) [-]
Can't tell if really a random roll or a fake.
#188 to #161 - smarts (11/25/2011) [-]
inb4 flag
#167 - cheijjjaaa (11/25/2011) [-]
**cheijjjaaa rolled a random image** seen this before somewhere, but thank you for posting, it's awesome : D
#22 - likeoneninja (11/25/2011) [-]
**likeoneninja rolled a random image**
#160 - danielfm (11/25/2011) [-]
Fukken saved :)
[ 191 comments ]
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