Useless Superpowers. Please Thumb guys.. USELESS SUPERPOWERS. and all of Aquaman's superpowers
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[ 311 comments ]
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#6 - anon (11/11/2011) [-]
Invisibility in the dark - Picture clearly shows a moon, nightfall = perma invisibility.
75% levitation - You are now the worlds greatest athlete, well done.
Instant hairloss - Commit a crime, become bald.
Abnormal arm hair growth - Commit a crime topless/wear a mask.
1 Second super strength - Is exponentially better than zero second super strength.
Control remote control - Endless hours of trolling.
Communicate with fruite - Fruit is now sentient and is able to observe it's surroundings. You now have access to billions of easy surveillance equipment .
Read your own mind - You never actually forget anything, everything in your life is recorded in the brain. You now are able to find anything in your head.

I can think of worse powers to have.
#92 to #6 - anon (11/12/2011) [-]
*roll image* That 1 Second super strength would also be good in a Fist Fight, or Melee Fight, but it depends on the 1 second time limits limitations
#7 to #6 - anon (11/11/2011) [-]
super slo mo isn't as useless power either but i can't think about a proper example because i don't know if the power is time related or not.
#179 to #7 - anon (11/12/2011) [-]
You could jump off a building and then go into slow mo before youhit the ground and land perfectly fine
#150 to #6 - anon (11/12/2011) [-]
one second super strength, become a boxer, bet 1,000,000,000 dollars on yourself, and right as you're about to hit a punch, use ur power, instant profit
#191 - thatkidwiththeface (11/12/2011) [-]
and all of Aquaman's superpowers
#311 to #191 - harryboom (11/12/2011) [-]
i can see where me and my whales are not wanted
User avatar #12 - deatl (11/11/2011) [-]
Super Slo-Mo - Fall off building, don't die
#307 - crogarlic (11/12/2011) [-]
Seduce hats.... hmmm
User avatar #227 - voidgangsta (11/12/2011) [-]
1 Second super strength isn't really useless
Use 1 second of strength to punch and send someone flying
amiright?
User avatar #226 - ProfessorGigsTwo (11/12/2011) [-]
#21: The power to travel through time...at the speed of time.
User avatar #64 - deluxedaddyrg (11/12/2011) [-]
1 second strength would be good for punching and kicking
User avatar #196 - Nanico (11/12/2011) [-]
1) Have 1 second super strength
2) Use super strength in bursts to knock things around
3) ????????
4) Profit
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+14
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User avatar #97 - runici (11/12/2011) [-]
THESE ARE ******* USEFUL

1. store tears in bottle, throw bottle, profit
2. raping just got easier
3. this would be so ******* useful, the **** is op talking about
4. i'd prove that fruit are sentient beings and unlock the secrets of biology and plant genetics. science prizes here i come.
5. trash can be something that isn't true, and therefor a lie detector.
6. tape plywood to feet and call it a hoverboard. my antics would make me millions.
7. i'll survive an apocalypse because i have light and you dont.
8. surround myself with bulletproof material and protect my comrades in war. that's triple medal of honor **** right there.
9. if i'm ever captured by an enemy and put under severe torture, reading my own mind would help me keep my sanity.
10. just stole from a bank and the police have seen what you look like? no problem, with this power
User avatar #99 to #97 - nickmunny (11/12/2011) [-]
You are so right. I thought some of these would be useful but I didn't have smart reasons like you haha.
User avatar #132 to #97 - dymysnindy (11/12/2011) [-]
How can you generate light with no sun?
User avatar #353 to #132 - runici (11/12/2011) [-]
with the ******* lamp
#354 to #353 - dymysnindy (11/12/2011) [-]
How will you see the mo' fo' lamp if its not turned on and you will have no light source what so ever to see the plug-un?
How will you see the mo' fo' lamp if its not turned on and you will have no light source what so ever to see the plug-un?
User avatar #355 to #354 - runici (11/12/2011) [-]
this is a self generating lamp. duh.
User avatar #356 to #355 - dymysnindy (11/12/2011) [-]
It didnt say if was self-generating.
User avatar #357 to #356 - runici (11/12/2011) [-]
it didnt say it wasnt
#358 to #357 - dymysnindy (11/12/2011) [-]
Well played.
Well played.
#359 to #358 - runici (11/12/2011) [-]
This image has expired
te tambien
User avatar #360 to #359 - dymysnindy (11/12/2011) [-]
*tu
User avatar #98 to #97 - runici (11/12/2011) [-]
11. grow ********* of hair, shave it, donate it, repeat. i'd get a nobel prize for philanthropy..also, i can cover somebody i don't like's **** with hair. everywhere.
12. if somebody i love is having a bad day, i good just whip out this power and cheer them up. it's the ultimate selfless power, the power of a true hero.
13. can YOU go into slowmo? first off, your mind would percieve everything at the same rate, meaning that you would be able to react to things MUCH more effectively..also, it'd be a helluva dance move.
14. mosquito army. i'd be like a real life kerrigan from sc2. nuff said.
15. aging is the lacking regeneration of your chromosomes. if i can speed up my aging process, scientists would be able to unlock the secret to genetics, and possibly the secret to immortality. if my life can bring about such a thing, so be it.
16. secret messages to your bros, who can see my messages with sciencetools or something
17. have you ever been in the process of punching somebody for MORE than one second? i could beat in all of your ribs with the flick of my pinky..in one second..
18. i'm assuming that the laptop would embody who i truly am, and as a child prodigy, if i turned into a laptop, i'd be the single best ******* laptop out there. i'd be at least thirty decades ahead of modern laptops. my family could sell my laptop form for billions, ensuring them and the next few generations a good life.
19. seduce hats->get hats->hoard hats->sell them on tf2 for real money->???->profit
20. becoming entirely gray would be an incredible feat, and like many of the other powers, would get me millions as a test subject for science. people might be able to change their hair or skin color permanently because of research on this power..not only that, but skin's durability and regeration, etc. we'd be on the verge of superhumans.
User avatar #293 - wilddittoappears ONLINE (11/12/2011) [-]
I think the most useful is talking 2 fruits!

imagine the following: u embalm a cherry, make a scarf pin out of it, give it ur gf as a present and tell her always to wear it...
u dont trust her and wanna know what the bitch did? just ask the cherry!
User avatar #295 to #293 - rasenganmaster (11/12/2011) [-]
There's a cherry-popping joke in here somewhere
#169 - duhzeeman (11/12/2011) [-]
My GF has this ability
#186 to #169 - iceuchiha (11/12/2011) [-]
omg... you're laptop hand...
User avatar #70 - Pompano (11/12/2011) [-]
How exactly is "seduce hats" a "useless" superpower?
#306 - adzilla (11/12/2011) [-]
black people already have invisible at night
User avatar #251 - hoifoichoi (11/12/2011) [-]
1.Gain 1 second super strength
2.Right before punching someone activate it
3.?????
4.Profit
#210 - Afrew (11/12/2011) [-]
Invisibility in the Dark: You no longer have to sneak around at night.
Bullet Attraction: In a hostage situation, become a hero by causing all the bullets to hit you.
Instant Hair Loss: 1) Never spend money on a hair cut again 2) Let your hair grow out really long and also a full beard. Put on sunglasses, then pull off a heist. After the heist, lose all your hair and throw away the sunglasses. No one will recognize you.
Super Slow-Mo: 1) Turn on a hardcore song with a boombox. Walk down a busy city street whilst music is playing. Look freaking badass 2) Join a movie set and get paid more to save the company money by then not having to accomodate for slow-motion.
1 Second Super Strength: 1) Use that 1 second to punch your favorite asshole in the face and send them backwards 2) Jump incredibly far distances. To ensure safe landing, use another second of strength to put maximum shock absorbtion in your legs 3) Roll a vehicle off of a trapped person 4) Freak the hell out of your family by punching an entire wall off when they make you mad
User avatar #61 - JwBread (11/12/2011) [-]
Ultra Fast Ageing?
Bus pass here I come!
#17 - jimimij (11/11/2011) [-]
The 75% levitation could let you jump really high...  
  
gif unrelated...
The 75% levitation could let you jump really high...

gif unrelated...
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