The Complete Military History of France. Hope you guys enjoyed, and learned something new. Credit goes to: www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html.. Romans don't count as Italians. EVERYONE lost to Romans. france
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#52 - corundum
Reply +32
(11/12/2011) [-]
Romans don't count as Italians. EVERYONE lost to Romans.
#48 - fuhrersalzburg
Reply +18
(11/12/2011) [-]
Guess who made our troops capable of fighting the English? If you look at history, Americans were losing the Revolution horribly until the French came.

Mmkay. SOME of these wars can be excused. The Gallic wars weren't technically French. The Gauls were widely considered to be Germanic until after the Hundred Years War, and the Romans were unbeatable until their fall began. They even beat the Carthaginians, who were considered the most powerful people on the earth.

In the Hundred Years War, England was just better organized. It wasn't until after the war that the French became the French, and Joan of Arc can't exactly be called schizophrenic. Schizophrenia comes from the mind, and she was called to get a sword from a church she had never heard of, so it may as well be something else. (Sorry, Christian defense moment here.)

You can't exactly make fun of the French for losing to the British. They were the world's greatest superpower until the last 200 years or so. And tying with the Dutch in a naval war is quite an achievement, really. They had quite a powerful navy.

If you payed attention in your history classes, you'd know that the French provided valuable information on the German troop movements in WWII, their knowledge is what made D-Day work, if you know the strategy.


Lastly, they've got quite a rich culture compared to the rest of the world. So yeah. They do succeed at something, just not war.

(sorry, done raging)
#59 to #48 - anon
Reply 0
(11/12/2011) [-]
Uhh, no. America was turning the war around with Britain when France came in. The French would only help 'Murica when they were pretty sure they could win. After the battle of Fort Ticonderoga (American victory, considered the turning point of the war.) is when France really came in.
#60 to #59 - fuhrersalzburg
Reply 0
(11/12/2011) [-]
Actually, France and Spain both helped by attacking England, they saw it as an opportunity to get rid of an enemy. This happened throughout the whole Revolution. And when the French came in the British were done with the North and were about to completely destroy the South. C'mon. Pay attention.
#50 to #48 - benassibro [OP]
+1
Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
#51 to #50 - fuhrersalzburg
Reply 0
(11/12/2011) [-]
I understand, it's not attacking you, I can indeed see the humor in it, it made me laugh, but given that my generation's already dumb as retarded bricks, I figured telling them the internet isn't always right just might help a teensy bit.
#2 - thepancakeman
Reply +16
(11/11/2011) [-]
WW1?? France saved the USA!? The British and the Duct and the French themselves did allot of Fighting and fought for years.
#3 to #2 - thepancakeman
Reply +1
(11/11/2011) [-]
But sill a good Post apart from that, thumb for you!! :D
#6 to #2 - joper
Reply +2
(11/11/2011) [-]
duct? you mean the dutch/
we did jack **** when it came to fighting in ww 1
#19 to #2 - robsterthelobster
Reply +2
(11/11/2011) [-]
Agreed, Schlifflen plan might have worked if not for the British Expeditionary Force and the Russian's mobilisation of their troops, poof, war over in no time with German victors
#25 to #2 - aznsauce
Reply +2
(11/11/2011) [-]
Dutch were neutral in WWI
#108 - CiaranPM
Reply +13
(11/12/2011) [-]
Check out France's new flag.
#35 - anon
Reply 0
(11/12/2011) [-]
France 1-0 United States
At least, we've won 1 war.
Stupid US bobs, gtfb to mcdo plz
#37 to #35 - thejerseyjenn
Reply +13
(11/12/2011) [-]
are you saying that the us never won a war?!!?!?!?!?!?
You have to be kidding me!!!
This is not worth my time -_-

goodbye dumbass.
#27 - tomoohka
Reply +11
(11/11/2011) [-]
Soon...
#117 - byposted
Reply +10
(11/12/2011) [-]
French Army Knife
#49 - beyerballler
Reply +8
(11/12/2011) [-]
Moral of the story... France only wins when they fight themselves.
#23 - kingnarnode
Reply +8
(11/11/2011) [-]
americans saving the entente in world war one? your so ******* hilarious.... and you also failed to mention frances successful expantions into foreign colonies. and you also forgot to mention how france ******* SAVED EUROPE FROM A MUSLIM INVASION at the battle of tours.... so you sir, can go **** yourself
#24 to #23 - kingnarnode
Reply +4
(11/11/2011) [-]
well actually it wasnt just the french that stopped the invasion but the commander was french... also you failed to mention what a brilliant general napolean was
#29 to #24 - somewhitekid
Reply -2
(11/11/2011) [-]
well you forgot to mention that it was actually canada and england that did more saving than america in ww1
#30 to #29 - kingnarnode
Reply 0
(11/11/2011) [-]
well frrance did most of the fighting, but they would have lost without britain in canada. im not saying the french beat of germany by themselves, i just dont like it when people say america won world war one, because thats just retarded
#13 - roleppol
Reply +8
(11/11/2011) [-]
Is it just me, or did they win wars against pretty much every European Power between le revolution and le Napoleonic wars?
#164 to #13 - efeye
Reply 0
(10/20/2015) [-]
The post is satirical. France actually has one of the best win/loss ratio of any country in the world.