The Complete Military History of France. Hope you guys enjoyed, and learned something new. Credit goes to: www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html.. Romans don't count as Italians. EVERYONE lost to Romans. france
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[ 158 comments ]
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User avatar #52 - corundum (11/12/2011) [-]
Romans don't count as Italians. EVERYONE lost to Romans.
#108 - CiaranPM (11/12/2011) [-]
Check out France's new flag.
#27 - tomoohka (11/11/2011) [-]
Soon...
User avatar #49 - beyerballler (11/12/2011) [-]
Moral of the story... France only wins when they fight themselves.
#42 - majort (11/12/2011) [-]
TL;DR version.
#117 - byposted (11/12/2011) [-]
French Army Knife
#171 - lann (02/05/2012) [-]
have germany invade.

the germans will fix them.

if not zhen call zhe americhyans as al-vays.
User avatar #2 - thepancakeman (11/11/2011) [-]
WW1?? France saved the USA!? The British and the Duct and the French themselves did allot of Fighting and fought for years.
User avatar #3 to #2 - thepancakeman (11/11/2011) [-]
But sill a good Post apart from that, thumb for you!! :D
User avatar #6 to #2 - joper (11/11/2011) [-]
duct? you mean the dutch/
we did jack **** when it came to fighting in ww 1
User avatar #19 to #2 - robsterthelobster (11/11/2011) [-]
Agreed, Schlifflen plan might have worked if not for the British Expeditionary Force and the Russian's mobilisation of their troops, poof, war over in no time with German victors
#25 to #2 - aznsauce (11/11/2011) [-]
Dutch were neutral in WWI
#13 - roleppol (11/11/2011) [-]
Is it just me, or did they win wars against pretty much every European Power between le revolution and le Napoleonic wars?
User avatar #48 - fuhrersalzburg (11/12/2011) [-]
Guess who made our troops capable of fighting the English? If you look at history, Americans were losing the Revolution horribly until the French came.

Mmkay. SOME of these wars can be excused. The Gallic wars weren't technically French. The Gauls were widely considered to be Germanic until after the Hundred Years War, and the Romans were unbeatable until their fall began. They even beat the Carthaginians, who were considered the most powerful people on the earth.

In the Hundred Years War, England was just better organized. It wasn't until after the war that the French became the French, and Joan of Arc can't exactly be called schizophrenic. Schizophrenia comes from the mind, and she was called to get a sword from a church she had never heard of, so it may as well be something else. (Sorry, Christian defense moment here.)

You can't exactly make fun of the French for losing to the British. They were the world's greatest superpower until the last 200 years or so. And tying with the Dutch in a naval war is quite an achievement, really. They had quite a powerful navy.

If you payed attention in your history classes, you'd know that the French provided valuable information on the German troop movements in WWII, their knowledge is what made D-Day work, if you know the strategy.


Lastly, they've got quite a rich culture compared to the rest of the world. So yeah. They do succeed at something, just not war.

(sorry, done raging)
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#50 to #48 - benassibro Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
User avatar #51 to #50 - fuhrersalzburg (11/12/2011) [-]
I understand, it's not attacking you, I can indeed see the humor in it, it made me laugh, but given that my generation's already dumb as retarded bricks, I figured telling them the internet isn't always right just might help a teensy bit.
#59 to #48 - anon (11/12/2011) [-]
Uhh, no. America was turning the war around with Britain when France came in. The French would only help 'Murica when they were pretty sure they could win. After the battle of Fort Ticonderoga (American victory, considered the turning point of the war.) is when France really came in.
User avatar #60 to #59 - fuhrersalzburg (11/12/2011) [-]
Actually, France and Spain both helped by attacking England, they saw it as an opportunity to get rid of an enemy. This happened throughout the whole Revolution. And when the French came in the British were done with the North and were about to completely destroy the South. C'mon. Pay attention.
#11 - buzzin like a bee (11/11/2011) [-]
Would love to see Britains.
User avatar #17 to #11 - bagofshenanigans (11/11/2011) [-]
I think Britain has only lost 4 since 1707.
#57 - BrotherofSteel (11/12/2011) [-]
You forgot to mention that they got their asses handed to them by indians with machetes. (They eventually defeated Mexico but then went back to France.)
User avatar #23 - kingnarnode (11/11/2011) [-]
americans saving the entente in world war one? your so ******* hilarious.... and you also failed to mention frances successful expantions into foreign colonies. and you also forgot to mention how france ******* SAVED EUROPE FROM A MUSLIM INVASION at the battle of tours.... so you sir, can go **** yourself
User avatar #24 to #23 - kingnarnode (11/11/2011) [-]
well actually it wasnt just the french that stopped the invasion but the commander was french... also you failed to mention what a brilliant general napolean was
User avatar #29 to #24 - somewhitekid (11/11/2011) [-]
well you forgot to mention that it was actually canada and england that did more saving than america in ww1
User avatar #30 to #29 - kingnarnode (11/11/2011) [-]
well frrance did most of the fighting, but they would have lost without britain in canada. im not saying the french beat of germany by themselves, i just dont like it when people say america won world war one, because thats just retarded
#5 - anon (11/11/2011) [-]
Yeah so out of more than 140 wars, you only take the lost ones, and also take won ones saying they're lost / tied ?

what the actual **** sir
#163 to #5 - anon (06/22/2013) [-]
Well, the French do count some defeats as victories. For example, they say that they were victorious in WW2, when they were conquered but saved by allies.
#54 - anon (11/12/2011) [-]
"First rule of French Warfare"= Surrender
User avatar #109 - dafiltafish (11/12/2011) [-]
*cough* french navy *cough* american revolution *cough* *cough* 500 ships *cough* usa had ****
User avatar #112 to #109 - enclavesoldier (11/12/2011) [-]
U.S.A had the army though. However, your point is valid because America, sadly, would have faced certain defeat if it weren't for French intervention.
User avatar #139 to #112 - purplegorrila (11/12/2011) [-]
Although, we were doing damn good for a rag-tag team of nobodies.
User avatar #69 - failtolawl ONLINE (11/12/2011) [-]
They lost to Mexico in the battle of Puebla in1862.
User avatar #156 - moooossseeee (12/06/2011) [-]
Italian and slightly offended....oh wait my military history sucks too....well at least at one point we were Roman.

I guess I get my inherent military ability from my Polish side....which coincidentally is why I don't have any common sense...
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#158 to #156 - benassibro Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
User avatar #159 to #158 - moooossseeee (12/06/2011) [-]
Sei un bastardo fortunato...
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#160 to #159 - benassibro Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
User avatar #161 to #160 - moooossseeee (12/06/2011) [-]
I never lived in Italy, I wish I did though. I'm a fourth generation American-Italian (no, not a Jesery Whore.) Comunque, parli molti italiano o un po?
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#162 to #161 - benassibro Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
User avatar #163 to #162 - moooossseeee (12/06/2011) [-]
Ah si, bastardo fortunato, il mio amico e io preparavamo vadiamo Italia l'estate di 2013
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#164 to #163 - benassibro Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
User avatar #165 to #164 - moooossseeee (12/06/2011) [-]
Noi andiamo il PENISola interno, ma sopratutto Sicilia e Napoli. Mia famiglia enel ambedue e lui famglia e nella Napoli.
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#166 to #165 - benassibro Comment deleted by benassibro [-]
User avatar #167 to #166 - moooossseeee (12/06/2011) [-]
have yourself a good night my friend.
#168 to #156 - ScottishMinor (01/15/2012) [-]
**** , I speak Spanish.
User avatar #169 to #168 - moooossseeee (01/15/2012) [-]
non parli l'italiano?
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