t Wrong Person to Mug
If someone were to ask you who the last person anyone should ever dare to mug is,
what name would be your answer? This Ester is betting on or better of
respondents answering, “Chuck Norris."
Amazingly, astoundingly, two idiots managed to try just that. It happened in 1994.
Norris mentions this whole thing in his autobiography, 'Against All Odds.' And, by
his testimony, this is what happened. Honest to God, it really happened.
In 1994, right at the beginning of his run as Walker, Texas Ranger, Norris was, and
still is, living in Dallas, Texas, where the show was filmed. One day he was walking
down the street by himself, no entourage, no fans following him, no bodyguards,
not even his wife. He turned a commercial block in the downtown skyscraper area
and saw two men a little bigger than he coming straight for him from the other
end of the block.
They were staring right at lim, and he figured they wanted autographs, which he
enjoys signing. So he walk d up to them and stopped with a smile, whereupon they
stood in front of him, whit ped out a couple of large pocketknives, and one of them
demanded, 'Give me your wallet, Chould Give it here!”
Norris actually opened his mouth wide and then asked, tare you insane?”
No! We know who you are! And we know you got a lot of money! Now give it up,
or you' re dead!"
Now before we go further, let us just go over a few of the particulars. All jokes
aside, Chuck Norris truly does have the following black belts: sst degree in Brazilian
Em Degree Grandmaster in Tae Kwon Do, gm degree in Chet Fine Do
under Bruce Lee and Lee' s best student, Dan , mm degree in Shite Ryu
Karate, mm degree in Tang Soo Do, rath degree in Chun Kuk Do.
Granted, the last art is his own concoction, a hybrid of all the best moves he has
learned over the years, all blended for both and competition, and you
are only allowed a : degree or better in anything when you found your own
doj o. But suffice to say, the muggers didn' t even use guns. From a hundred feet
away. They used knives within arm' s reach. What happened next was rather anti-
The police arrived about 4 minutes later, 3 officers in two cars, and were greeted by
the scene of two men with SEVERELY broken arms (the bones had gone through
the shin) sitting on the curb, two bloody knives in the gutter, and Chuck Norris, the
Almighty Himself, leaning against the wall, wearing his beard, jeans, cowboy boots
and a cowboy hat.... he shrugged at them. The police started laughing so hard that
they bent over, holding their sides, unable to put the handcuffs on the muggers.
One of them managed to ask, 'Did you not know who he was? .
One of them said, 'Yeah, we knew who he was! We figured all that crap on TV was