EPIC ONE LINERS. EDIT: HOLY !!! FRONT PAGE??! I leave this site for one day and i make front page? YEAH thank you all so much for popping my front page cherry.. thug aim
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EPIC ONE LINERS

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EPIC ONE LINERS. EDIT: HOLY !!! FRONT PAGE??! I leave this site for one day and i make front page? YEAH thank you all so much for popping my front page cherry..

EDIT: HOLY ******* *********!!! FRONT PAGE??! I leave this site for one day and i make front page? **** YEAH
thank you all so much for popping my front page cherry..
I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Just a collab of Awesome One liners that i found and collab'd
(I dont take any credit for the lines just putting them together)

Also sorry if retoast it was a quick decision so i didnt get time to check if its been done yet
(Hope you enjoy )

Tags: thug | aim
EPIC ONE LINERS
PTH
1) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
putting a tomato in a fruit salad.
2) The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese.
3) Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching
them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent telling them
to sit down and shut up.
4) He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
S) My mother never realized the irony in calling me a -
bitch.
6) Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They
should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
T) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted
paychecks.
8) Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the
answer.
9) If I agreed with you, we' d both be wrong.
10) To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
many is research.
1 1) I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn' t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
12) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
13) We live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than
the police.
14) A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a
train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
15) I should' known it wasn' t going to work out between my ex-
wife and me. After all, I' m a Libra and she' s a bitch.
16) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it
takes a whole box to start a campfire?
IT) I didn' t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian.
18) A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for
me at kick boxing.
19) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it... so
I said "Implants?"
20) The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
21) Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
22) Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
23) Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
24) The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows
where all the bad girls live.
25) Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few
weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very
edge of the pool and throw them fish?
26) God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
27) I didn' t say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.
28) Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
29) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they
are sexy.
30) Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won' t expect it
back.
31) Some people say "If you can' t beat them, join them". I say ''If
you can' t beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting
you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
32) Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
33) We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
34) A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such
a way that you will look forward to the trip.
35) Money can' t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier
to live with.
36) Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others...
whenever they go.
37) I discovered I scream the same way whether I' m about to be
devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed
touches my foot.
38) I don' t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn' t
die.
39) War does not determine who is right. " determines who is
left.
SUN Kw
THUMB EITHER WAY..
I DONT GIVE A F** K
OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE my
...
+4800
Views: 108844 Submitted: 10/25/2011
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Leave a comment Refresh Comments (484)
[ 484 comments ]
> hey anon, wanna give your opinion?
asd
#1 - kilinismybiznis
Reply +160 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
I read the whole thing
#250 to #1 - gerdinn
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
User avatar #78 - TheNewRavager
Reply +102 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
I was laying in my bed, looking at the stars, when a thought occurred to me.

Where the hell is my ceiling?
#95 to #78 - commentor
Reply +11 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
User avatar #51 - tusslemonster
Reply +69 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
**tusslemonster rolls 88**
User avatar #61 to #51 - bagofshenanigans
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
I was going to thumb, but right now you have trips...
User avatar #63 to #61 - tusslemonster
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
no i havent :( i got 112 and 545 sucessively, so close.jpg
#73 - dickorcock
Reply +42 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Confucius say, treat peopre rike you did as a chird. Cooties may not be rear, but herpies are.
#85 to #73 - fierydarkstorm
Reply +43 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Old Chinese Proverb say virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone..
#100 to #85 - sinep
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Confucius say, baseball all wrong, man with 4 balls can not walk
#121 to #100 - yourehomosexual
Reply +30 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Confucius says, man who drop watch in toilet is bound to have crappy time
#124 to #121 - sinep
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Confucius say, man in who stick dick in peanut butter, is ******* nuts
#170 to #124 - fierydarkstorm
Reply +19 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Ancient Chinese Proverb say foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
#195 to #170 - wushumacabre
Reply +21 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Confucius say, it is nice to meet girl in park, but better to park meat in girl
#400 to #195 - vanwinkles **User deleted account**
+3 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#452 to #400 - fierydarkstorm
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
Ancient Chinese Proverb say panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
#472 to #452 - Zingage
Reply +5 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
Confucius say man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
#206 to #170 - theoneandonlynate
Reply +20 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
Confucius say, man who has sex with black man is ******* *******
#189 to #170 - rabbits
Reply +13 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
**rabbits rolled a random image** Confucius says man who has tight ass cannot let **** go.
#179 - gerdinn
Reply +41 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
HERE'S MY MOST EPIC 1 LINER!


____________________________
#434 to #179 - gringodinkle
Reply +3 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
User avatar #354 - solidone
Reply +36 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
**solidone rolls 55** Dubs and I spend 900 dollars. On scratch off tickets.
#386 to #354 - lambocj
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
<------ you after you win the lottery
User avatar #393 to #386 - solidone
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
I don't think I'll win but thanks for sexiness
#424 to #393 - lambocj
Reply -2 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
If you don't win....

<------ hes commin at you bro
User avatar #483 to #354 - doomminion [OP]
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
rofl.. Now we wait :D
User avatar #416 to #354 - theqk
Reply +1 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
buy 1 dollar scratch offs you have way more of a chance of winning
#357 to #354 - epicsauceiness **User deleted account**
+8 123456789123345869
has deleted their comment [-]
#359 to #354 - masterdebayter
Reply +8 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
#362 to #359 - masterdebayter
Reply +10 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
Do it.
#358 to #354 - solidone
Reply +12 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
*sigh* Op will deliver
#368 to #358 - noscopinturtle
Reply +7 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
DONT MATTER GOT DUBS
User avatar #487 to #358 - chilipadiboy
Reply 0 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
No don't! Use it for a good cause :O
#33 - jibser
Reply +34 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#83 to #33 - eldinarcus
Reply +14 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
&lt;--- Has increased actually.
<--- Has increased actually.
#69 - neomaniak
Reply +25 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
#367 - fabiovalentine
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
Time to look funny on Facebook.
#369 to #367 - thechritaintiger
Reply +6 123456789123345869
(10/26/2011) [-]
So true.
#24 - electricmodern
Reply +24 123456789123345869
(10/25/2011) [-]
you call those one liners?