Sarcasm. I hope the new title makes it clear.. ID Reasons Why Gay h' Carriage is Wrong L Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things
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Sarcasm

I hope the new title makes it clear.

ID Reasons Why Gay h' Carriage is Wrong
L Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural
things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way
that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3., Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy
behavior, People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog
has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn' t
changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can' t marry
whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were
allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears‘
marriage would be destroyed.
Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay
couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn' t be allowed to
marry because our orphanages aren' t full yet, and the world needs
more children.
7. Geniously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight
parents only raise straight children.
S. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like
ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.
That' s why we. hays only one religion in America.
Children can never succeed without a male and a female role
model at home. That' s why we as a society expressly forbid single
parents to raise children.
Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could
never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven' t adapted to
cars, the economy, or longer life spans.
...
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Views: 12814
Favorited: 131
Submitted: 10/13/2011
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Comments(188):

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User avatar #193 - StumblingAxis (10/14/2011) [-]
you are all forgetting one very important fact..
homosexuality is a mental disorder, they dont have a choice and their natural instinct to reproduce just isn't there, so they should be treated and institutionalized just as you would a schizophrenic or bi-polar patient.
feel sorry for them guyz
how would you feel if you were ****** in the head
User avatar #195 to #193 - LordVant (10/14/2011) [-]
....well...gay men don't usually feel ****** in the head....just ****** in the ass
User avatar #173 - billejoe (10/14/2011) [-]
Feels bad. really bad. Being gay isnt a choice, Being bisexual myself you can see both points of view. But for gods sake its like racism -.- think about the emotional part of our relationships, not the damn sex for once! *Mumbles and Plays guitar*
User avatar #175 to #173 - billejoe (10/14/2011) [-]
BTW i realize its stilla joke but still >.>
User avatar #162 - Kamesakke (10/14/2011) [-]
Don't want gay marriage? Blame the straight people for having gay babies!
User avatar #142 - bithcwits (10/14/2011) [-]
Not homosexual myself, but this does make me glad I live in the UK.
#167 to #142 - eenbobean (10/14/2011) [-]
Yeah, the U.S. is ****** up right now in the way of politics. But fear not, my foreign friend, we will contribute to the world again!
#136 - Gaarasgirl (10/14/2011) [-]
It's getting ridiculous on how gay marriage is illegal, yet marrying your first cousin is legal in more states than same sex.

Me and my fiance have to move some where legal so we get the benefit of a legal marriage...

******* pictures anyone?
#125 - CakemanRPG ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#119 - alanthewhite (10/14/2011) [-]
**alanthewhite rolls 883,034,811**
>Read Pony Fanfic
>It's about Rainbow Dash hating straight ponies because Equestria sees gays as we see straight people
>See pic
Well, ****
User avatar #118 - bradynissen (10/14/2011) [-]
Hey. I have a suggestion. SHUT THE **** UP ABOUT GAY AGENDAS. Nobody gives a flying **** . It's not even funny, it's just your stupid little way of getting your stupid opinion across. We get it. People out there are gay. No need to make an unfunny post about your stupid feeling on the subject.
#170 to #118 - eenbobean (10/14/2011) [-]
0/10
At least...I hope.
User avatar #149 to #118 - Shiny ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
There are more states in America in which you can marry your own cousin than a member of the same sex. **** off.
#144 to #118 - lollane (10/14/2011) [-]
the very definition of irony
User avatar #138 to #118 - arsewipe (10/14/2011) [-]
Well actually it IS pretty funny!
But apparently your ******* hurts so much because of all that gay sex thats imposed on you ever since your state legalized gay marriage that you don't even get the joke, which basically is about you!
User avatar #131 to #118 - FunnyMonkey (10/14/2011) [-]
Go be ignorant somewhere else.
User avatar #137 to #131 - bradynissen (10/14/2011) [-]
How am I being ignorant? I came to Funnyjunk, not Buttsexjunk
User avatar #115 - Lambda (10/14/2011) [-]
You know what will happen if gays can marry?
Nothing.
Taxes won't go up, the stock market won't go down, unemployment won't rise, no wars will start, diplomatic relations won't be affected, and the crime rate won't go up.
Why, then, is this a raging political issue? Just legalize the damn thing and let the gays get married. What has anybody got to lose?
0
#117 to #115 - LordKOKO **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #124 to #117 - Lambda (10/14/2011) [-]
Once they legalize it and the media quits bitching about it, people will forget the whole thing within a week. And there really aren't many anti-gay people out there who are really care to do a thing like that. And to top it off, gay marriage is already legal in some states. It's not like we're opening the floodgates here.
0
#129 to #124 - LordKOKO **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#112 - linktheawesomes (10/14/2011) [-]
**linktheawesomes rolled a random image** <--- FJ
#93 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
Marriage is a symbol of the desire to spend your life with somebody. If gay people have those feelings, they should get that right. Further, as Jesus said about gays: "Not a damn thing."
User avatar #140 to #93 - guyfromclarksville (10/14/2011) [-]
People often quote "If one lies with a man as he would lie with a woman, he is an abomination." I just take that to mean same-sex sex can't produce kids, and people who try are crazy (which is solved by adoption and donation).
#146 to #140 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
Well, that's from the old laws. I'm not a theologian, so I don't have the academic background to fully judge them, but I believe they were designed to model the Jewish society three thousand years ago. That law in particular was made to distance the Jews from their oppressors the Persians and Babylonians as much as possible, and to keep the population up. A Christian is not judged by the old laws, since Christ fulfilled them. The point of Christianity is to reach everybody, and judge them by their character rather than by their actions. Paul introduces the passage from the Old Testament law to the New Testament by explaining the necessity after people were porking pretty much everything. Jesus himself, as far as I am aware, never condemns homosexuality, but he does condemn lust.
#91 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
You just made me one happy gay.
User avatar #143 to #91 - guyfromclarksville (10/14/2011) [-]
wordplay time! You are a dandy gay, and a gay dandy! (hooray for kind-of old slang!)
User avatar #165 to #151 - guyfromclarksville (10/14/2011) [-]
"dandy" is a word that can mean "in a good mood", or "homosexual" (I think that was mid-20th cen. slang). "gay"... Well, it's obvious, but I feel like saying it anyway, it means "upbeat and happy", or, as well, "homosexual". Hooray for too many commas!
User avatar #113 to #91 - bradynissen (10/14/2011) [-]
Poor man. Never know what a ****** feels like. You're missing out..
User avatar #120 to #113 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
Poor man. Will never know how awesome it feels to be with another man. You're missing out.

btw I hope you will one day know what a ****** feels like too.
User avatar #127 to #120 - bradynissen (10/14/2011) [-]
I think I'm good. The whole 'having **** on my dick' thing is kind of a turn off.
User avatar #134 to #127 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
Obviously you've never had anal with a girl. Which most I hear are doing these days.
User avatar #139 to #134 - bradynissen (10/14/2011) [-]
Never planning on doing it either.
User avatar #147 to #139 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
Well go enjoy your " ****** "(hand) and I'll enjoy my men and we never have to speak to each other again.
#172 to #147 - eenbobean (10/14/2011) [-]
FLAWLESS VICTORY.
User avatar #104 to #91 - romaniantiger (10/14/2011) [-]
Made me happy as well :3
User avatar #94 to #91 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Terrible choice you made. Being homosexual.
0
#174 to #94 - fizzywaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#114 to #94 - ridiculosity (10/14/2011) [-]
This image has expired
oh, take a seat somewhere, dickhead
#107 to #94 - gawagg (10/14/2011) [-]
Terrible choice you made. Being a Richard Simmonsgot.
User avatar #102 to #94 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
Terrible choice you made being a homophobic ******* .
User avatar #100 to #94 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
... Obvious troll is obvious?
User avatar #90 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
I am so completely sick of people saying it's genetic. It's a ******* excuse all you dumbasses won't stop saying. It's a choice. The choice of what your sexual preference is. And needed to say, it's wrong. If homosexuality was genetic, then men would be able to be impregnated by other men. I'll just sit here and wait for all you ******** to hate on Christianity. So you hypocrites can go **** yourselves.
User avatar #168 to #90 - thecjss (10/14/2011) [-]
Christianity is gay
#101 to #90 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
I'm a Christian, and let me tell you the problem with that. There is not a single homosexual person who woke up one day and wanted to be gay. They don't want to be persecuted. They don't want to lose their faith because of someone else's ignorance or intolerance. If God is love, and we are to love, then why shouldn't we love gays? If you are really a Christian, you shouldn't doubt for a moment that gays have every right to get married and to love one another that a straight person does.
#145 to #101 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Lev. 18:22 - Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination.
1 Cor. 6:9-10 - If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death: their blood shall be upon them.
Rom. 1:26-28 - For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men. leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one towardanother: men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that ecompence of their error which was meet.

If you were a real Christian, you would know this. You are not a Christian, you are hypocrite.
User avatar #166 to #145 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
The bible isn't gods word. It was written by a lot of people and has their bias and was changed a lot and has their bias.
User avatar #182 to #166 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
That's where you're wrong. God has absolute power over every human, and anyone that would contaminate his word would never have been able to do it. I'm not saying everyone is a robot that he can just use for entertainment, but he does control it if the circumstances are necessary.
#187 to #182 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
Your obviously a troll because you say your a true christian and you're posting verses from the bible but you don't know the basics of the bible. God gave us free will, and even if he didn't then he would never let anyone be born gay or let anyone commit sins.

So even if he was real he would never be able to control anyone.
User avatar #185 to #182 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
No he wouldn't. That would go against everything he set forth in the garden of Eden. His whole deal there was that we were free to live as we chose, free of his control. Come on, man, you aren't even trying now...
User avatar #189 to #185 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Freedom to choose whatever they'd like to do, except contaminate his word. Yes that means they have the freedom to be homosexual, which is why they are homosexual today, because they have the freedom to do that, but does that mean it's not wrong? No.
#194 to #189 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
So I cant contaminate the word of god.

Lets see if cum contaminates it.
#155 to #145 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
That's from the Old Law, which Christians are not meant to follow. If you eat unleavened bread, or pork, or wear multiple fabrics, then you are a sinner just as much as a homosexual. In Galatians 3:24, Paul states: "Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith." The law was to teach us about Christianity and the necessity of our savior before we're saved. Christ was there to fulfill the law and begin a judgment by character, not by deeds. Christianity is for everybody who is willing to believe and take the offer of eternal life. The strict adherance to the law, in place of actual personal character was why Jesus rebelled against the Pharisees and Sadducee. That's why he called them 'white-washed tombs'.
User avatar #179 to #155 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
One of those verses is from the new testament, so assuming that Christians aren't meant to follow the laws of the old testament, why is the law that you may not be homosexual still apply in the new testament?
#181 to #179 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
It doesn't apply, which is my point. Either you follow all of the Old Laws, or you follow none of them. I don't follow any of them because I'm a Christian, not a son of Israel.
User avatar #184 to #181 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
So you don't follow a word of the old testament, or a word of the new testament? You're not a ******* christian, you're a hypocrite! You're basically not doing a thing God says. You're fashioning your own religion.
User avatar #190 to #184 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
That's what religion's all about, though. It's a personal journey. Emphasis on the personal. As in "don't shove your bigoted close-minded views down my throat."
#188 to #184 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
What? I follow the New Testament, you dolt. Did I not just cite a verse that explains how we're not to follow Old Testament law? Jesus does not speak of homosexuality as a sin. Paul talks about fornicators or the sexually promiscuous. You yourself are a hypocrite for claiming I'm not a Christian while hating somebody else. Judge not lest ye be judged by that same measure.
User avatar #191 to #188 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
So you say you follow the new testament, but you disobey the new testament by saying homosexuality is not a sin? You're saying something followed by a contradictory statement.
#192 to #191 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
I am not disobeying the New Testament by claiming that homosexuality is not a sin. The verses from the New Testament that you used do not call homosexuality a sin. It is referring to the oppressors of the Jews and warning the Roman church against sexual promiscuity.
#176 to #155 - eenbobean (10/14/2011) [-]
You 						******					 his argument  in the ass (irony intended)
You ****** his argument in the ass (irony intended)
#177 to #176 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
And I bet he loved it.
User avatar #161 to #155 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
Mr phoenix? You're my hero. Thank you for restoring my hope in the religious people of the world.
User avatar #180 to #161 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Oh yes, of course a hypocrite of Christianity restores your faith in the religious. That makes sense.
User avatar #183 to #180 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
So just because someone is tolerant of other people's lifestyles (or, if you are to be believed, choices) that makes him or her a hypocrite? No, the reason phoenix restored my faith is because I'm fed up with religious bigots like you throwing around the same 3 verses every time an argument about homosexuality comes up, and he (or possibly she) used logic and a calm demeanor to (put simply) kick your argument's ass.
User avatar #186 to #183 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
He's a hypocrite, because he says he's a christian, but how is he a christian if he doesn't even follow a single law out of the bible? That's not a christian.
#164 to #161 - iamphoenix (10/14/2011) [-]
No problem. 1 Peter 3:15 is something I feel I, and anybody of religious faith should follow: "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect."
User avatar #96 to #90 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
(heavysarcasm) Ah, yes... I remember the day I decided I was straight and not gay. (/heavysarcasm)
But seriously, **** you.
#95 to #90 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
If its a choice then try being gay for a day and see how that works out.

User avatar #103 to #95 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
I won't, because I already made my choice. I have a question for you bitch. Why is heterosexuality called straight? Perhaps because it's the right thing to do?
User avatar #123 to #103 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
Either you're a giant ignorant biggot or you're trolling.

You're probably some gay in denial about loving the cock. Get over it and go suck a cock.
User avatar #154 to #123 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
If I was gay, why would I go through all this trouble to say it's wrong? That is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
User avatar #160 to #154 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
keyword DENIAL
You're the dumbest thing I've come in contact with in weeks.
User avatar #111 to #103 - fjarchon (10/14/2011) [-]
I'm guessing homophobic views

The correct word is heterosexuality btw
User avatar #108 to #103 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
So is homosexuality called gay because it makes people happy then? You know what... That makes perfect sense. Thanks for opening my eyes severepwner ^_^
User avatar #152 to #108 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Gay is slang. It used to mean happy, but rest assured, the two definitions are completely different.
#163 to #152 - anonymous (10/14/2011) [-]
Well, if you can twist the definition of 'straight' into meaning that it's 'the right thing to do', then it certainly seems like perfect logic to say that 'gay' means 'being happy'. Since, yenno, it actually used to mean that?
User avatar #171 to #163 - severepwner ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Ok need more examples?
Damn, used to mean "Damn someone to hell" but now it's just "Dayyyyyyyyyyumn, that aaaaaassss.
Ass, meaning a donkey, now meaning someone's butt.
User avatar #159 to #152 - mattquatch (10/14/2011) [-]
Except that the same could be said for straight. Meaning you just countered your entire argument. Thanks for doing the work for me ^_^
User avatar #88 - bagofshenanigans (10/14/2011) [-]
Marriage: Betting someone half your **** that you'll love them forever.

It's just insurance for people who are scared of being left with nothing if it doesn't work out.

2 competent human beings shouldn't need marriage to be happy. But I see no point in denying people what they want, especially over something so trivial.
#150 to #88 - anonymous (10/14/2011) [-]
No, there's also a **** ton of tax, government, employment and medical benefits that come with marriage, and children of married children also have more benefits than children whose parents aren't married. I should know, I'm a bastard child.
#157 to #150 - anonymous (10/14/2011) [-]
Sajkfndsui children of married couples, I meant, not married children.
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#81 - mrstealyogirl has deleted their comment [-]
#79 - iknowyoursecret (10/14/2011) [-]
i wish i could give you a thumb for every damn one of these.  
on a related note, ratio of favorites to thumbs is 1/3; highest i've ever seen.
i wish i could give you a thumb for every damn one of these.
on a related note, ratio of favorites to thumbs is 1/3; highest i've ever seen.
User avatar #77 - dangler ONLINE (10/14/2011) [-]
Why is marriage even an institution of the state in the first place?
#74 - anonymous (10/14/2011) [-]
**anonymous rolls 422**
Trips for 'Merica
#75 to #74 - anonymous (10/14/2011) [-]
Close enough
#73 - stefanthegooner (10/14/2011) [-]
Gay people have just as much right to be miserable as straight people
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