How to survive a horror movie part 1. +50 for part 2 /funny_pictures/2718281/How+to+survive+a+horror+movie+part+2/ thanks for front page!. Tips ta survive herre
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How to survive a horror movie part 1

Tips ta survive herrer movies- Parta
When it seems that yae' killed the minster, never
check ta see if it' s really dead.
ll yea find that year harse is built epin er near an
cemetery, was ance in church used far black masses,
had previous inhabitants We went mad er committed
suicide er died in same horrible lamina er We
performed necrophilia er satanic practices, mew
away immediately.
Never read an beak deman sermoning chad, even
as in Me.
la nat search the basement, especially when the
pewee has just gene eat.
ll year children speak ta yea in Latin er any ether
language which they m net knew, er if they speak
using in mice ether than their awn, sheet them at
ance. It will save yea in let grief in the lang ran.
Nate: it' s unlikely they' ll die easy, MI be prepared.
When yea have the benefit numbers, never pair all
er gil all mane.
the gang plans in len midnight party in the tawn' s ald
abandoned mansion, dan' t tag dang. Especially dan' t
tag along if everyine' s wing as couples, except
yae' re the add gay/ gal eat. And if yae' re the gang' s
cakester, yea may as well write up year last will and
testament while yae' re driving with them ta the place.
As in general rule, daft salve puzzles that men
perms ta Hell.
Never stand in, an, wave, below, beside, er anywhere
near in grave, tam, crypt, mausoleum, er ether
domicile the dead.
ll yae' re searching hr samething which caused an
misc and find eat that it' s just the cat, leave the ream
immediately if yea value year life,
ll appliances start operating by themselves, mew eat.
la nat take (er barrow) anything from the dead.
lan' t lael with recombinant DNA technolagy unless
yae' re sure yea knew what yea are hing.
rall fer part 2! Ive get mere... l wait run eat!
...
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Submitted: 10/09/2011
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Comments(71):

[ 71 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #6 - robsterthelobster (10/09/2011) [-]
The awkward moment when you realise that you're daughter just came back from latin class but you've already shot her in the face for speaking some
+10
#12 to #6 - dracostabarzin **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#50 to #12 - towels (10/10/2011) [-]
That awkward moment when your daughters ghost comes on FJ and comments about that awkward moment.
#15 - cantouchmymustache (10/10/2011) [-]
soo about taking stuff...
User avatar #36 - neogrungist (10/10/2011) [-]
new rule: don't be a minority (specifically don't be black) as statistically that means you'll die first

new rule 2: never assume you've killed it, if the first try doesn't work on a zelda boss it most definitely won't work on Jason Voorhees. . . you have to lather rinse repeat on that bitch
+16
#19 - tweakage **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#46 - DietBrisk (10/10/2011) [-]
"Don't take (or borrow) anything from the dead."

Lesson learned.
User avatar #5 - bagofshenanigans (10/09/2011) [-]
Do not associate yourself, in any way with a literary piece known as 'The Necronomicon'.

If you see a little girl looking away from you, or at the ground; do not speak to her. Do not call out to her, do not even look at her for too long. If possible, shoot her.

In the event of a zombie invasion: When someone is bitten, THEY ARE DYING, you may as well kill them. There is no cure, there is no hope for them at all. Blow their brains out and save yourself the trouble later.

Look behind you frequently, bad things like to surprise you.

You did just hear a sound, it's not good. Leave immediately.

In almost any circumstance, being in a moving vehicle affords you absolute safety.
#28 - oblawlawblog (10/10/2011) [-]
way to survive a scary movie:
dont be black, a slut, funny, nerdy, or a dick.

if you're none of the above, you're good.
User avatar #48 - iamhearfornsfw (10/10/2011) [-]
#1 Do not be black.
+11
#43 - skrlllex **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #41 - SgtObvious (10/10/2011) [-]
To survive you need to be a modest, good looking white person in their late teens or twenties. You can't have any glaring personality traits, whether they be good or bad. You also need to have a love interest that you never showed or barely showed your love to.

Do you really think the fat Mexican teenager who cracks jokes would be the one to survive?
#25 - donatellotmnt (10/10/2011) [-]
I say the rules of Zombieland apply here.
#39 - kapurass (10/10/2011) [-]
when the ghost of the dead little girl tells you to get out or you'll die...you get the **** out
User avatar #18 - mattdoggy (10/10/2011) [-]
1. Black people have to die first in movies because they are smarter than white people. If a white guy hears something wrong he will investigate. Black guy hears something wrong he goes as far away as possible.
2. girls do not know how to run a straight line away from something. they will always run in zigzags before falling down
3. White people will always go and see if the 9 foot tall blood soaked hairy creature is your boyfriend/girlfriend
User avatar #20 to #18 - sorrowofdaedalus (10/10/2011) [-]
That might all be true, BUT...Dark meat tastes better.
User avatar #35 to #18 - limeboii (10/10/2011) [-]
they kill black ppl as fast as possible cuz they r afraid to loose them in the dark
#53 - Rascal (10/10/2011) [-]
but i do know what i'm doing
but i do know what i'm doing
User avatar #66 to #53 - allennis (10/10/2011) [-]
Never try to resurrect a human being through the uses of alchemy. You are bound to lose a body, a right arm, and possibly your soul.
#47 - successfulmonger (10/10/2011) [-]
use this car
use this car
User avatar #67 to #47 - allennis (10/10/2011) [-]
Seems legit.
#45 - Bravechampion (10/10/2011) [-]
What about saw? I never win The Game...
User avatar #62 to #45 - justtoobasic (10/10/2011) [-]
you can win it by not being a deceiving, cynical, lying, perverse, racist, ass hole.....

well, i guess we're all going to be seeing that ******* doll pretty damn soon
User avatar #29 - tazpy (10/10/2011) [-]
Um... in response to #1... double tap?!?!
User avatar #33 to #29 - crowdawg (10/10/2011) [-]
damn you!!!!!!! haha
User avatar #24 - mariox (10/10/2011) [-]
RULE #1: If you're being chased, DON'T LOOK BACK!
RULE #2: never split up
RULE #3: If someone leaves then comes back, they're a suspect.
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