Chin up bar. Friend linked me i thought it was great.. >Want to have sex with gf for the first time on valentines day >She says yes and to celebrate before I drank a liter of gravy cause I like gravy >Roll  comic
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#13 - cannedvegitables
Reply +294
(09/22/2011) [-]
>Want to have sex with gf for the first time on valentines day  
>She says yes and to celebrate before I drank a liter of gravy cause I like gravy  
>Roll into her room (walking is not an option due to my weight) and she starts giving a bj  
>Try to cum a heart on her face to be romantic and I tell her to look in the mirror  
>It comes out looking like a "Palin 2012" and she is a hardcore democrat so this upset her  
>She says she will forgive me but I realize I forgot the condom cause I was to busy consuming Peanut butter before and during sex (I was hungry)  
>Grease myself with oil and slide myself to 7-11  
>Due to the fact that I am 700 pounds, when I crashed into buildings they toppled over due to my ridiculous momentum that I was carrying from a down-slope hill  
>Quickly grease myself with peanut butter to create enough friction for me to stop and literally burned some fat off but it was all for nothing due to the fact that the burning fat smell made me hungry forcing me to eat a kids stuff animal that he was holding and ultimately make him cry  
>I felt bad but I could not stop so I rolled into the 7-11 and was gonna ask where the condoms were  
>All that came out was a squeaking noise and I realized that the stuffed animal was blocking my ability to speak  
>Start crying and squeaking until the manager of the store gives me the condoms I am pointing at  
>See large escalator in mall that could lift me all of the elevation I need and I could roll the rest of the way  
>Go on escalator and fat ripples get caught in the seeps of the escalator   
>Call fire department and eat my cherry flavored condom due to hunger    
>Fire fighters laugh at me and steal my supply of sandwiches  
>Life is not fair
>Want to have sex with gf for the first time on valentines day
>She says yes and to celebrate before I drank a liter of gravy cause I like gravy
>Roll into her room (walking is not an option due to my weight) and she starts giving a bj
>Try to cum a heart on her face to be romantic and I tell her to look in the mirror
>It comes out looking like a "Palin 2012" and she is a hardcore democrat so this upset her
>She says she will forgive me but I realize I forgot the condom cause I was to busy consuming Peanut butter before and during sex (I was hungry)
>Grease myself with oil and slide myself to 7-11
>Due to the fact that I am 700 pounds, when I crashed into buildings they toppled over due to my ridiculous momentum that I was carrying from a down-slope hill
>Quickly grease myself with peanut butter to create enough friction for me to stop and literally burned some fat off but it was all for nothing due to the fact that the burning fat smell made me hungry forcing me to eat a kids stuff animal that he was holding and ultimately make him cry
>I felt bad but I could not stop so I rolled into the 7-11 and was gonna ask where the condoms were
>All that came out was a squeaking noise and I realized that the stuffed animal was blocking my ability to speak
>Start crying and squeaking until the manager of the store gives me the condoms I am pointing at
>See large escalator in mall that could lift me all of the elevation I need and I could roll the rest of the way
>Go on escalator and fat ripples get caught in the seeps of the escalator
>Call fire department and eat my cherry flavored condom due to hunger
>Fire fighters laugh at me and steal my supply of sandwiches
>Life is not fair
#36 to #13 - Jenkinhimer
Reply +26
(09/22/2011) [-]
I almost ******* died.
I almost ******* died.
#38 to #36 - hydrotroll
Reply +14
(09/22/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#45 to #13 - shitshitshit
Reply 0
(09/22/2011) [-]
brilliant
#102 to #13 - gongthehawkeye
Reply 0
(09/22/2011) [-]
#682 to #13 - ThatsSoFunnyHeHe
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
Oh god I lold at this like 7 different times
#729 to #13 - anon
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**anonymous rolls 54** <-- The number of generations this story will be passed to
#295 to #13 - eatchickendaily
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
#725 to #13 - Jedisheep
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
lolwat
lolwat
#14 to #13 - irishunicorn
Reply +10
(09/22/2011) [-]
..............?...............................................
#32 to #13 - Schiffy
Reply +11
(09/22/2011) [-]
That made me laugh harder than the "then I realized I was a dog" post on /b/!
#25 to #13 - swimmingprodigy
Reply +16
(09/22/2011) [-]
I find that HIGHLY unlikely....


700 lbs and you have a girlfriend? Riight
#27 to #13 - TheBumFluffles
Reply +22
(09/22/2011) [-]
#26 to #13 - camber
Reply +23
(09/22/2011) [-]
#31 to #26 - anon
Reply 0
(09/22/2011) [-]
*roll image* MFW when i fapped to that comic
#21 to #13 - SkyMaro **User deleted account**
+24
has deleted their comment [-]
#33 to #13 - halflife **User deleted account**
+2
has deleted their comment [-]
#727 to #13 - undunn
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
AWWWWW YEAAAAAAH
AWWWWW YEAAAAAAH
#730 to #727 - retardedhorselol
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
WTFLOL
#398 to #13 - swiftiee
Reply +5
(09/23/2011) [-]
#706 to #13 - camtar
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
I hardly ever read long-ass comments like this, but i read this one and it was worth reading :D
I hardly ever read long-ass comments like this, but i read this one and it was worth reading :D
#567 to #13 - tehbawz
Reply +4
(09/23/2011) [-]
**tehbawz rolled a random image**
Firefighters' reactions to you being stuck in the escalator.
#35 to #13 - Nightinear **User deleted account**
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#731 to #13 - JosefRieper **User deleted account**
+3
has deleted their comment [-]
#722 to #13 - candytaker
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
Holy ******* ****.  You win.  You win everything.  Everything ever.  Everything ever in the whole universe forever times infinity divided by zero.  
  
  
Best  
COMMENT  
EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy ******* ****. You win. You win everything. Everything ever. Everything ever in the whole universe forever times infinity divided by zero.


Best
COMMENT
EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#44 to #13 - Mrah
Reply +3
(09/22/2011) [-]
that was the GREATEST comment I have ever seen on this site
#300 to #13 - iamphoenix
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
#728 to #13 - MrLlama
Reply +2
(09/23/2011) [-]
Lol wat...  
  
&lt;--My Exact reaction to your comment.
Lol wat...

<--My Exact reaction to your comment.
#46 to #13 - Awesomecarrot
Reply 0
(09/22/2011) [-]
Oh man, I haven't laughed that hard for so long
#623 to #13 - TheLostProphet
Reply +2
(09/23/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#16 to #13 - anon
Reply 0
(09/22/2011) [-]
>try to green text like a 4chan fag
>am twelve year old
>fail massivley
> am surrounded by other 12 year olds so no one notices
>am on FJ
#17 to #16 - Jayce
Reply +21
(09/22/2011) [-]
#22 to #16 - cannedvegitables
Reply +3
(09/22/2011) [-]
I fail massivley?
I suppose I have failed MASSIVELY before but this one is a new one to me
#421 to #13 - NotoriousSAV
Reply +2
(09/23/2011) [-]
that was pretty epic
#23 to #13 - beardedclam
Reply +114
(09/22/2011) [-]
>be at 7-11
>see 700 lb guy rolling towards me
>step out of way
>little kid walks past me
>trips him
>he gets in way of fat guy
>fat guy eats his stuffed animal
>mfw kid cries
#47 to #23 - DCstudio **User deleted account**
+7
has deleted their comment [-]
#49 to #47 - hobojobo
Reply +24
(09/22/2011) [-]
My Face When
#50 to #47 - justacommenter
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#8 - screenager
Reply +132
(09/22/2011) [-]
When do we got on the ride?  
This is the ride!  
YIPPEEE!
When do we got on the ride?
This is the ride!
YIPPEEE!
#59 to #8 - kingkingsnak **User deleted account**
-14
has deleted their comment [-]
#201 - dinosaurdrugs **User deleted account**
+82
has deleted their comment [-]
#240 to #201 - teoberry
Reply +3
(09/22/2011) [-]
I feel like I'm going to hell for laughing at that.
#366 to #201 - illegaltacos
Reply +5
(09/23/2011) [-]
#267 - lolsama **User deleted account**
+57
has deleted their comment [-]
#693 to #267 - anon
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
******* comment reposter.
#3 - rockinthejizzface
Reply +52
(09/22/2011) [-]
**rockinthejizzface rolled a random image** <---- my reaction
#15 to #3 - dementedllama
Reply +15
(09/22/2011) [-]
That's probably the most normal random image I've ever seen.
#173 - bamitzjazzy
Reply +50
(09/22/2011) [-]
Answer that philisophical ****.
#181 to #173 - violez
Reply +13
(09/22/2011) [-]
Newcomers think it's funny, thumb it up
#182 to #181 - violez
Reply +13
(09/22/2011) [-]
also
#183 to #182 - violez
Reply +13
(09/22/2011) [-]
#184 to #183 - violez
Reply +13
(09/22/2011) [-]
#185 to #184 - violez
Reply +13
(09/22/2011) [-]
#186 to #185 - violez
Reply +13
(09/22/2011) [-]
Now explain the witchery i just made
#199 to #186 - sliverbackk **User deleted account**
+6
has deleted their comment [-]
#209 to #186 - lookkool
Reply +5
(09/22/2011) [-]
What the **** just happened?
What the **** just happened?
#213 to #186 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
type fox trot without space and it deletes
#216 to #213 - awesomesauceb
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#219 to #216 - awesomesauceb
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#218 to #216 - violez
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#220 to #218 - awesomesauceb
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#221 to #220 - awesomesauceb
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#223 to #221 - awesomesauceb
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#222 to #221 - violez
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#224 to #222 - awesomesauceb
Reply +2
(09/22/2011) [-]
#226 to #224 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#225 to #224 - violez
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
people are going nuts with this magic
#227 to #225 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
lol i know it's lolz
#229 to #227 - violez
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#228 to #227 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#230 to #228 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#234 to #230 - Tsquared ONLINE
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#231 to #230 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#232 to #231 - awesomesauceb
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#244 to #232 - zacharlfreeman
+4
(09/22/2011) [-]
#235 to #232 - Tsquared ONLINE
+1
(09/22/2011) [-]

#233 to #232 - awesomesauceb
+1
(09/22/2011) [-]
#305 to #225 - jnezzy
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
#217 to #213 - violez
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
Damn... i wanted to see people's reactions..
#198 to #186 - anon
Reply 0
(09/22/2011) [-]
x*kcd ofc
#200 to #198 - violez
Reply +3
(09/22/2011) [-]
NOPE, chuck testa
#284 to #200 - glubgluby
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
#285 to #284 - glubgluby
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
#189 to #181 - bamitzjazzy
Reply +5
(09/22/2011) [-]
It was retourical question chill the **** out
#156 - valientlink **User deleted account**
+47
has deleted their comment [-]
#548 to #156 - davegrowl
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
screenager did 7 hours before you
screenager did 7 hours before you
#175 to #156 - undereightyeight
Reply +5
(09/22/2011) [-]
Nope lol
#318 - thehealthinspector
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
#330 to #318 - therulethirtyfour
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**therulethirtyfour rolls 758**
#333 to #318 - omgflyingchurros
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#334 to #318 - leuser
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**leuser rolls 31**
#340 to #318 - funkysack
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**funkysack rolls 14**
#345 to #318 - stlassassinfhc
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#336 to #318 - thepsycho
Reply +4
(09/23/2011) [-]
**thepsycho rolls 59**
#365 to #318 - zijoj **User deleted account**
-2
has deleted their comment [-]
#368 to #365 - zijoj **User deleted account**
-2
has deleted their comment [-]
#416 to #318 - dinadino
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**dinadino rolls 95**
#591 to #318 - penguinicus
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**penguinicus rolls 5** Who's a goofy goober bitches!!
#323 to #318 - sortoathepenguin
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
**sortoathepenguin rolls 52**

WEENIE HUT JR.'S? You're out of your mind. I'm tough enough to get into the Salty Spitoon, check'em!
#348 to #323 - ohmygawwwd
Reply +3
(09/23/2011) [-]
Uhh actually I was pointing at that place..
#349 to #348 - sortoathepenguin
Reply +2
(09/23/2011) [-]
SUPER weenie hut jr.'s?
#324 to #323 - sortoathepenguin
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
#344 to #318 - ohmygawwwd
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
**ohmygawwwd rolls 588**
#346 to #344 - ohmygawwwd
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
It would seem I didn't have any milk in my bowl of nails for breakfast this morning...quite
#358 to #318 - ryanicoletti
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
**ryanicoletti rolls 45** I am NOT a Weenie!!!
#359 to #358 - ryanicoletti
Reply +2
(09/23/2011) [-]
#326 to #318 - McMacDaddy **User deleted account**
+4
has deleted their comment [-]
#322 to #318 - stunnineverywhere
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#321 to #318 - wtfgodzilla
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#356 to #318 - zaggystirdust
Reply 0
(09/23/2011) [-]
**zaggystirdust rolls 31**
#320 to #318 - djprodigy
Reply -2
(09/23/2011) [-]
**djprodigy rolls 70**
#354 to #318 - zaggystirdust
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#319 to #318 - theannoyingFJguy
Reply +45
(09/23/2011) [-]
This image has expired
**theannoyingFJguy rolls 11**
#19 - leted
Reply +45
(09/22/2011) [-]
So basically they rode up the elevator just to go down again. Seems legit!
#20 to #19 - ohwhoafosho
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
i know i would... :3
#58 to #19 - mcdonald
Reply +1
(09/22/2011) [-]
They rode an elevator? Where?!
#24 to #19 - stevenw
Reply +11
(09/22/2011) [-]
better view of the dead at the bottom
#2 - zekeymanrs
Reply +39
(09/22/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#312 to #2 - omigoshgorilla
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
#313 to #312 - omigoshgorilla
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
#314 to #313 - omigoshgorilla
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
#315 to #314 - omigoshgorilla
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
#316 to #315 - omigoshgorilla
Reply +1
(09/23/2011) [-]
HELLO