A Hospital Story. True OC. My first as well... probably more interesting/gross than funny. Btw I'm a firefighter, nurse aid, emt. I have more stories but they m
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A Hospital Story

True OC. My first as well... probably more interesting/gross than funny.
Btw I'm a firefighter, nurse aid, emt.
I have more stories but they might be too graphic for FJ......more »

True OC. My first as well... probably more interesting/gross than funny.
Btw I'm a firefighter, nurse aid, emt.
I have more stories but they might be too graphic for FJ...
EDIT:
Damn guys I've been a fan of FJ since the green times. Thanks for viewing and helping me break my FJ virginity. Slow and passionate, just how I like it.

In the hospital system, elderly
obese patients are considered
especially heinous. In Texas,
the dedicated nurses who treat
these vicious gluttons are
members of an elite squad known
as the Intensive Geriatric
Unit. These are our stories.
We receipe a
patient weighing
over 500 pounds
give or take a
pallet}
It' s Slam.
It' s bath time.
mun now:
A 500 pounder
takes about 4-
5 nurses to
Clean. Elite
squad ls ready
We roll the
patient on it' s
back. This
patient has been
with us for two
weeks and the
washings are
daily **take
note of that.
The nurse washes
under the breast. The “
wait__ what ls ' reaches to grab
that? I this brown
thing struck in
the breast...
Fooking chicken breast
half finished with the
bone has been stuck in
her breast... for two
weeks.
We all tried
to not laugh
or be
completely
disgusted.
Made my month.
Think that' s gross... hell
nah I got worse --) If
people are interested I
oan make more.
I' m not telling you how
to thumb like some fags,
your old enough to make
your own decisions.
...
+1973
Views: 29206
Favorited: 104
Submitted: 09/09/2011
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Comments(223):

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#227 - anonymous (03/22/2014) [-]
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE
#226 - broale (09/25/2013) [-]
Texas fire/emt master race!
Texas fire/emt master race!
#223 - DekuNut (09/10/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#211 - daletvak (09/10/2011) [-]
you gonna eat that?
User avatar #203 - slyguyjb (09/10/2011) [-]
THMB THMB THM thumb THMB THMB THMB TH
THMB THMB TH thumb THMB THMB THMB TH T
THMB THMB T thumb THMB THMB THMB TH TH
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
thumb TH thumbthumbthumbthumb THMB THM
#193 - soulvalor (09/10/2011) [-]
<--- His reaction when he sees the chicken
<--- His reaction when he sees the chicken
User avatar #204 to #193 - contradictory (09/10/2011) [-]
can I get yo' number? CAN I HAVE IT??


p.s. the back of your head is ridiculous
User avatar #190 - mollzbollz (09/10/2011) [-]
**mollzbollz rolls 6** <<<< how much moneys i has
#210 to #188 - geraldbostock (09/10/2011) [-]
I was just about to post something like this. Nicely done.
#207 to #188 - CheyTac (09/10/2011) [-]
die Nazi!
die Nazi!
#182 - anonymous (09/10/2011) [-]
<---- Holy **** this is annoying.
#189 to #182 - anonymous (09/10/2011) [-]
wat.
#176 - buddhistmonk (09/10/2011) [-]
This comic seems like it was made by a mom.
#180 to #176 - blargleboy (09/10/2011) [-]
Oddly enough, still hilarious with a hint of old school sass.  
  
RECIPE FOR thumbS
Oddly enough, still hilarious with a hint of old school sass.

RECIPE FOR thumbS
#178 to #176 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
Goddammit I'm 22 lol.

#215 to #178 - frohtastic (09/10/2011) [-]
I know that feel.  
keep in mind that the majority of the nay-sayer commenters  are not even allowed to legaly  vote in most areas of the world.  
  
tl:dr   most of the commenters are youngsters.
I know that feel.
keep in mind that the majority of the nay-sayer commenters are not even allowed to legaly vote in most areas of the world.

tl:dr most of the commenters are youngsters.
+5
#175 - xRyanxRampagex **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#174 - nonosquare (09/10/2011) [-]
and then the patient was like: &quot;...You gunna eat that?&quot;
and then the patient was like: "...You gunna eat that?"
Comment has been flagged   Hide Hide All +Fav (0) Reply 0
#185 to #179 - nonosquare (09/10/2011) [-]
Flagged Comment Picture
This image was flagged 12/14/2013
#173 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
I had an obese father. I would have to be on call 24/7. he had severe difficulty walking so sometimes he wouldn't be able to stand up before ******** in the chair he spent 90% of his time in. It didn't matter if I was at school (high school. it was a private school, so we were able to make arrangements.) at a friends place, on a date, or whatever m if he didn't make it to the commode that was kept less than 3 feet away, he would just unload in the chair, and I would have to drop what I was doing and come running.

usually when he crapped, it was a decent bit of solid, and a lot of semisolid gunk that would drip and flow. I would have to clean it all up. he was always ***** because he couldn't fit into clothes, but his fat covered up his ******** .

I had to put up with that for 3 years, 2 of which I was in high school.
#177 to #173 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
I'm sorry to hear that bro =(

I saw stories like that in the hospital all the time. It's one of those things that dominoes into other peoples lives.

I take it he didn't live long.
#181 to #177 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
well, he was also pretty abusive even before he became a blob. once tricked me into thinking he killed himself because I got a D. so lets just say he didn't get any help from me in his time.
#184 to #181 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
Damn. He must've been really miserable. The only good side to **** like that is it will teach you how to be a better parent (and know what NOT to do.)
#192 to #184 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
you kidding? vasectomy. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of letting his bloodline continue. he was always obsessed about his bloodline and it's future. Since I was his only child, I promptly snuffed his bloodline out the first chance I got.

and I know he was miserable. he took advantage of people all his life, and buried my mother under a mountain of debt by forging her signature. I was used as a linchpin. I kept my mom in debt, and served as collateral so she could never leave.

his lifestyle caught up with him, and I will admit, even I think by the end he was suffering more than he deserved. you could say that by refusing to call 911, it was half mercy and half revenge. not that I think I did a good thing by any means, or that it was justified.
#194 to #192 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
Had you called 911 he would've spent whatever time he had left in the hospital.

I'm sorry he was such a douche. I don't understand people, and being in healthcare makes me really ponder over how people can do what they do.

I hope that you have a close group of people that you care about; and if not here is one!

I never understood the obsession of bloodline. What a curious story, makes me think of a lot of things.
#199 to #194 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
he recently got out of a hospital, that's the thing
they put him on a weight loss and exercise routine, which he followed up until he was discharged. see, his heart was still good surprisingly. he died of a sudden onset of pneumonia, something they could have saved him from.

I know what you mean though. I used to volunteer at a hospital myself during high school.

Really, after high school, all my friends moved far away and I was stuck at home because of my dad. I tried the local community college but there was no way to take care of him and keep up studies at the same time.

I tried again after he passed but I began to develop agoraphobia. I later learned that I had developed PTSD and was having flashbacks in public. I'm in therapy now and even though it seems I'm stuck in the past I'm really not. I hardly ever think about it anymore.

Of course, because of my lack of social skills resulting from me rarely having time to be with friends ever, I really never made new friends once my old ones moved away. I still live with my mom, paying part of the bills by doing contracting work on computers, but I have not had good luck with steady employment. I think I come off as too awkward to potential employers. and when I do get a job, I burn out within the month. I don't think I've ever held a job longer than 5 weeks because I burn out so fast.
#202 to #199 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
I'll tell you what.
Most of my experience was on a Pulmonary Unit. And Pneumonia...that's just...that's something that really comes out of nowhere like some shadow and kills when it feels like it.

I'm a traveler for a living, a gypsy/vagabond. I've lived in 4 states just this year so I know what you mean by "lack of social skills"/friends. Employment is hard as it is, let alone being different and looking for work.

Nothing wrong with trying to keep your chin up. These are hard times and being in a situation like that makes your climb a lot tougher.
#206 to #202 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
funny thing is I almost died of pneumonia myself. winter, spent 4 hours straight at near 0 degrees shoveling the walk. the next day I was shivering no matter how warm I got myself. glad I called 911 when I did before I passed out. when I got back from the hospital, the snow plow covered all the sidewalk back up that I nearly died trying to clear. that was actually pretty funny.

yeah. it does help knowing that I went through all of this without resorting to addictions to help cope.the fact that I didn't fall into drugs and alcohol because of all this is like a reminder to me that I can handle this. it helps to know that when I finally break through and start living on my own, I'll have become that much stronger because of it.
#209 to #206 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
I love hearing stories of people who don't resort to alcohol/drugs for their problems. The better way is the harder way, to go without.

That story is not funny! Pneumonia is one of the strangest ways to die/be ill that I've seen. It's sure will to keep going that makes people pull out of that. Then again, this is why I try to stick to warmer climates...sometimes you spend so long in one climate just to know you never want to feel that again.

pic is always unrelated.
#213 to #209 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
no I mean the fact that after all that, my work got undone by a single snowplow in roughly 30 seconds. just the perfect bit of irony to make the whole incident kind of funny to me. what can I say, when my life starts looking like a dark comedy, the only thing to do is appreciate the humor of it.

yeah though I grew up and live in Iowa, where the summers get triple digits, and winters get double digit below zero not counting wind chill, and spring is either tornadoes, flooding, hail, or extended winter (this year we had snow in may...) Autumn is nice though.
#214 to #213 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
Hey look an Idiot out wandering around!
Sorry I'm from South Dakota... so it had to be said (in jest)

Can't believe you tried to haul snow out in that weather! I lived out in the country so I got just kicked out of my home in winter period.

You should escape that place =(
#217 to #214 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
Well, my mom isn't in as bad shape as my dad, not by a long shot, but she has a bad knee and NEEDED that walk to be cleared. I didn't want to risk her getting hurt coming into the house.

and Trust me, I've lived in the same 1/4 square mile area my entire life. if I could go I would, but I have no means to go anywhere and certainly no funds. plus, I kind of don't want to leave my mom alone for now. she probably kept me sane throughout all of that. I'm not sure if I could abandon her just yet. my dad kind of pushed away all her friends and family, so I'm one of the few people she has left.
#218 to #217 - publicservice ONLINE (09/10/2011) [-]
Well if you want to go you will go.

Remember I travel for a living, I just moved from Texas to Phoenix on 200 dollars. Relocating is really cheap if you know how to do it.

The thing is, don't ruin opportunities you want to take now for ideas/things of the past. Your family had you so you can live life, and that's your job.
#219 to #218 - exiana (09/10/2011) [-]
200 bucks to relocate, maybe, but for me right now, 200 might as well be 200 thousand. and once I get there, I will have to be absolutely certain I can handle stable employment that pays enough for me to live on. At the moment, I'm pretty sure if I were to move out on my own, I'd end up on the street pretty fast because of that.

and really, I haven't had an opportunity, pretty much ever. at least no opportunities I recognized in time to take advantage of. When it comes down to it, I just don't have what it takes to be self sufficient right now. and I'm not sure when I will be. On top of all this I have a federal student loan that I do NOT want to default on, and coming up with 60 a month just to pay is difficult enough already.
#198 to #194 - illegaltacos (09/10/2011) [-]
Remember exiana. Jawesome.
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#172 - nonosquare has deleted their comment [-]
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#171 - anthonymudaro has deleted their comment [-]
#169 - fearme (09/10/2011) [-]
aww, thats nasty.
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