Things Banned by the Bible. obviously this guy is just being funny. dont take it too seriously... i'm going to get so many red thumbs for this but... all of those things that the Bible bands are in the old testament, which in the old testament all those thin Banana Cream Pie
x

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[ 278 comments ]
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#94 to #37 - stebok ONLINE (07/27/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#44 to #37 - mayormilkman (07/27/2011) [-]
< Only logical thing to do.
< Only logical thing to do.
#229 - illegalmartian (07/27/2011) [-]
Notice all these chapters are from the old testimony, meaning it only applied to the children of Israel (jews)
#231 to #229 - qweasdzxcr (07/27/2011) [-]
you sir are correct and by that i thumb you.
#233 to #229 - bigralf (07/27/2011) [-]
you mean the old testament lol
User avatar #237 to #233 - illegalmartian (07/27/2011) [-]
yeah, sorry I get specific spanish and english words mixed up lol, and I go to a hispanic church
User avatar #207 - jstinch (07/27/2011) [-]
Well. Actually that I think Leviticus is only for Judaism.
See, back in the day, God was like, ******* pissed as a raging whore on steroids, so we killed a dick load of sheep and pigs to make him all sorry and **** . So, Jesus was all like, "Yo man, **** this **** " and Judas was all like, "Nah, **** THIS **** " and Jesus died and stuff. So, because Jesus was like this sacrificed sheep dude. It made sacrificing stuff, and the rest of Leviticus obsolete.
tl;dr: Jesus ****** the book of Leviticus
User avatar #208 to #207 - jlew (07/27/2011) [-]
That's an interesting way of putting it, but you are right. Jesus told us to follow the New Testament. The Old Testament is just a collection of Christian history now.
#209 to #207 - mngophers (07/27/2011) [-]
Funny and very accurate, Ive never laughed so hard at the renouncing of Levitical Law...

Thanks Jesus
User avatar #211 to #209 - jlew (07/27/2011) [-]
Yay Jesus!
#218 to #207 - zeldapronmaster (07/27/2011) [-]
jews betray my son.............ban bacon cheeseburgers and electronics on saturdays
#23 to #22 - zzxman (07/27/2011) [-]
your on
#25 to #23 - comotellamas (07/27/2011) [-]
youre pretty much ****** now
#29 to #25 - zzxman (07/27/2011) [-]
i think not it's over for you
#31 to #29 - comotellamas (07/27/2011) [-]
well, 			****		 me
well, **** me
#32 to #31 - zzxman (07/27/2011) [-]
you won't kill this
User avatar #43 to #39 - kokovo (07/27/2011) [-]
Did anyone think of the original Pokemon Battle Theme while reading this?
#119 - anon (07/27/2011) [-]
"Let he who is without sin throwith the first rock and I shall smoketh it!" Exodus 20:5
User avatar #47 - mrgriff (07/27/2011) [-]
i'm going to get so many red thumbs for this but...



all of those things that the Bible bands are in the old testament, which in the old testament all those things where meant to make one "holy", but where only for Jew's (God's people) not gentiles (not Jews i.e. everyone else), but when Christ died he "erased the board of rules" and wrote only one which you all probably know.

--A Christian who knows his crap, but won't shove it down your throat
#48 to #47 - anon (07/27/2011) [-]
What about gays
User avatar #55 to #48 - mrgriff (07/27/2011) [-]
ya it has that in there too, but as with all thing i know you're thinking of westbro Baptist, which represents a cult, not any form of Christianity, and as such my own church has gotten our biker group (Faith riders) to go and block them with numerous other groups recently, but in my opinion i can't stand them because every single one that i've met has been annoying and showed absolutely no morals
#58 to #55 - ijpowers (07/27/2011) [-]
good for your church. nice to know members of the faith are taking an active stance against those nutjobs.
User avatar #241 to #58 - mrgriff (07/27/2011) [-]
me and a few of my friends where going to go paintball them if they where any closer
#59 to #48 - instalation (07/27/2011) [-]
I'm alright with them
0
#86 to #48 - TheRedDragon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #66 to #47 - XXBIOHAZARDXX (07/27/2011) [-]
Christians are always friends to me
User avatar #67 to #66 - XXBIOHAZARDXX (07/27/2011) [-]
except Harold Camping, he is a thief...
#53 to #47 - jaggedpanther (07/27/2011) [-]
:3
I'm not sure why, but it makes me really happy to read some constructive and informed argument, rather than the normal crap we all have to put up with.
I'm irreligious/atheist/whatever btw, so no bias here.
thumbs!
#54 to #47 - hotelmario (07/27/2011) [-]
He's right.
He's right.
+12
#65 to #47 - TheGameThatYouLost **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#4 - vitafix (07/26/2011) [-]
Too bad that religious people, are to busy abusing the power that the government has invested in them.
#36 to #4 - anon (07/27/2011) [-]
that comma is completely unnecessary
you made me pause in the middle of your sentence for no reason
#143 - monhi (07/27/2011) [-]
For some reason I feel like there wasn't football when the bible was written
User avatar #180 to #143 - kershinator (07/27/2011) [-]
It refers to the Sabbath, which at the time of the old testament (and to jews today) was on Saturday. It was illegal to work, light candles, or walk certain distances out of town on the Sabbath. In fact, Orthodox jews today still cannot turn on or off anything on the sabbath
User avatar #210 to #180 - jlew (07/27/2011) [-]
The sabbath is a day of rest. You can watch football, you just can't do any work. *Addin to you post. not arguin*
User avatar #271 to #210 - kershinator (07/27/2011) [-]
Yes, but you cannot PLAY football, thats why the bible would ban it. a bunch of gentiles playing it is ok for Orthodox Jews to watch today
User avatar #275 to #271 - jlew (07/27/2011) [-]
Actually, if you think about it. Playing a game is still resting. As long as you aren't playing to earn money it's not work.
#199 - banjofrank (07/27/2011) [-]
I think we can all get on bored with the last one guys... I for one don't want to die from a bear attack
#204 to #199 - jinjo (07/27/2011) [-]
My sweet Brick!
+8
#203 to #199 - aggravatedtetris **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#7 - icanhasaccount ONLINE (07/26/2011) [-]
well last one seems resonable
User avatar #221 - sethrogan (07/27/2011) [-]
it is a common misconception that the bible tells people to do that in the present day, these were rules for the jewish religion which is based purely off of the old testament
User avatar #230 to #221 - sunice (07/27/2011) [-]
What would be the point of wanting trivial things like avoid woman on periods or not using cotton/polyester blends in todays age or the past?
#269 to #230 - anon (07/27/2011) [-]
dont make woopy with women in their perioids
User avatar #267 to #230 - OMGINBD (07/27/2011) [-]
Not entirely sure why it'd be relevant today, but back then the law against people wearing clothes of mixed fabrics was because the enemies of the Jews in some neighboring region wore clothing that was a fabric blend. It has no relevance to it being immoral or sinful in any way, it was more of a "if you wear it, you're one of them" types of mentality. This is, if I remember correctly.

The Bible was written by humans, and designed to suit their needs at the time. If it has any meaning beyond that, that's up to one's beliefs.
#188 - shoomon (07/27/2011) [-]
That's because Leviticus never tried bacon
#139 - jscrunchies (07/27/2011) [-]
**** ! I'VE HAD THIS IN MY FOLDER FOR 2 MONTHS NOW!
#213 - thekilljoy (07/27/2011) [-]
That only applies to Jews... so your wrong.
+1
#215 to #213 - monarch has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #216 to #213 - deliciouspancakes (07/27/2011) [-]
Old testament laws no longer apply to anyone.
#219 to #216 - thekilljoy (07/27/2011) [-]
damn right man.
User avatar #222 to #219 - deliciouspancakes (07/27/2011) [-]
After the resurrection of Jesus a new, less constrictive law was put in place. I wish that last one was still there. Haha.
User avatar #153 - garuda ONLINE (07/27/2011) [-]
moral of the story:

Leviticus is an ass hole
#232 - bigralf (07/27/2011) [-]
last one still seems legit
#243 to #232 - ianmoone (07/27/2011) [-]
I'm a girl, and I agree.
#131 - hehehahafu (07/27/2011) [-]
i need my pork
User avatar #228 to #131 - bountyhunter (07/27/2011) [-]
the guy is wrong anyways, it says not to chew the cud, which is the food that hasnt yet been digested by the pig and is still in its stomach after death.
User avatar #63 - Anonymi ONLINE (07/27/2011) [-]
**** , Leviticus, lighten up a little.
Banning things left, right and centre...
#249 - ablank (07/27/2011) [-]
**ablank rolls 29**
User avatar #260 to #259 - ablank (07/27/2011) [-]
well played sir
User avatar #264 to #260 - licestr ONLINE (07/27/2011) [-]
thank you kind sir
#71 - CampenCarl (07/27/2011) [-]
Is it wrong that I agree with the last one?
User avatar #92 to #71 - based (07/27/2011) [-]
WE ALL DO
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