My Next Life
by Woody Allen
In my next life I want to he backwards.
Vou start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wow up in an old people' s home
feeling better every day.
You get inched out for being too healthy,
go collect your pension, and then when
you start wade. you get a gold watch
and a party on your first day.
You work for 40 years until you' re young
enough to enjoy your retirement.
l Vou party, drink alcohol, and are
s, generally promiscuous, then you
are ready for high school.
You then go to primary school,
you become a laid, you play.
Eon house no responsibilities,
you become a baby until you
are born. And then you spend
your last 9 months floating in
luxurious spa like conditions with
central heating and room service
on tap, larger quarters every day
and then, Voila!
You finish off as an orgasm!
I rest my case.